Wankband - The wearable tech that allows you to love the planet, by loving yourself ....

Also ........ Heat Shield For Under Laptops Set To Revolutionise energy production (ahem)

A REVOLUTIONARY new product is set to change the masturbation habits of the entire world when it launches later this year, as well as cutting down on the amount of leg injuries sustained due to overheating laptops.

The spank shield employs technology utilised by NASA on the space shuttle to remain at a cool temperature without sacrificing airflow to the important components of the computer.

This will allow users to rest their laptop on their bare thighs while making love to their hands, without risk of third degree burns.

In 2014 alone, over 10,000 people worldwide were admitted to A&E departments with serious scorch trauma to their legs, which went unnoticed during lengthy masturbation sessions.

“The spank shield will allow people to go at themselves for as long as they wish, without risk of injury,” said Owen Hand, spokesperson for Spank Shield Ltd. “Previously, anyone wanting to watch a bit of porn with their trousers around their ankles would have had to time it just right; fighting through the burning pain to get to the finish line.”

“With Spank Shield, they can take as long as they want to shuck the corn without worrying about the smell of burning leg hair,” he added.

http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2015/03/13/heat-shield-for-under-laptops-set-to-revolutionise-masturbation

WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT ?

AWESOME .......

Shrouded within the park of Villa Demidoff (just north of Florence, Italy), there sits a gigantic 16th century sculpture known as Colosso dell'Appennino, or the Appennine Colossus. The brooding structure was first erected in 1580 by Italian sculptor Giambologna. Like a guardian of the pond in front of him, the giant is in an endless watchful pose, perched atop his earthy seat.

Lol

Do your bit to thwart film piracy by standing up in the cinema every 10 minutes during a film and shouting "BOLLOCKS !"

IT'S AN EASY MISTAKE TO MAKE ....

Holland allows bike gangs to battle IS in Iraq

THE HAGUE - The Dutch public prosecutor said on Tuesday that motorbike gang members who have reportedly joined Kurds battling the Islamic State group in Iraq are not necessarily committing any crime.

"Joining a foreign armed force was previously punishable, now it's no longer forbidden," public prosecutor spokesman Wim de Bruin said.

"You just can't join a fight against the Netherlands," he said after reports emerged that Dutch bikers from the No Surrender gang were fighting IS insurgents alongside Kurds in northern Iraq.

The head of No Surrender, Klaas Otto, told state broadcaster NOS that three members who travelled to near Mosul in northern Iraq were from Dutch cities Amsterdam, Rotterdam and Breda.

A photograph on a Dutch-Kurdish Twitter account shows a tattooed Dutchman called Ron in military garb, holding a Kalashnikov assault rifle while sat with a Kurdish comrade.

Video footage apparently from a Kurdish broadcaster shows an armed European man with Kurdish fighters saying in Dutch: "The Kurds have been under pressure for a long time."

Many countries including the Netherlands have been clamping down on their nationals trying to join IS jihadists who have taken over swathes of Iraq and Syria.

Measures include confiscating would-be jihadists' passports before travelling and threatening prosecution should they return.

"The big difference with IS is that it's listed as a terrorist group," said De Bruin. "That means that even preparing to join IS is punishable."

Dutch citizens could not however join the Kurdistan Workers' Party (PKK), as it is blacklisted as a terrorist organisation by Ankara and much of the international community,

De Bruin said. Dutch citizens fighting on the Kurdish side would of course be liable to prosecution if they committed crimes such as torture or rape, De Bruin said. "But this is also happening a long way away and so it'll be very difficult to prove," said De Bruin.

SOME THINGS HAVE NO EXPLANATION

ROY

WE DON'T DEMONSTRATE ..... WE SING

CASSETTEBOY

PLAYGROUND DESIGNER .... YOU HAD ONE JOB

BILL O'REILLY ACCIDENTALLY LEAKS THE PLOTLINE OF 'THE EXPENDABLES 4' LIVE ON AIR

THIS IS A GENUINE, FOR REAL CYCLING KIT

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK

ALWAYS THE GENT ..............

THIS IS NOT SATIRE ..... IT'S SIMPLY FRIGHTENING HOW EASILY GOD'S MESSAGE CAN BE HIJACKED

OH DEAR .....