JOEY BARTON RELEASED WITHOUT CHARGE, NOW THERE'S A FIRST

Joey Barton's agent has said there will be no shortage of takers for the outspoken midfielder after Newcastle United made the 28-year-old available on a free transfer.

Barton, who cost £5.8m from Manchester City in 2007, was told he could leave St James' Park with immediate effect at a meeting with club officials on Monday morning. Their decision followed fresh criticism of the Newcastle hierarchy from Barton on Sunday on Twitter, in which he suggested there was widespread dressing-room unrest and a relegation battle looming, and was announced in a brief statement on the club's website before the player could reveal the development himself on the social networking site.

Newcastle's current player of the year has 12 months remaining on his contract and intended to leave on a free next summer after talks over an extension collapsed. Those plans have been brought forward after the owner, Mike Ashley, and managing director, Derek Llambias, lost patience with the midfielder's public outbursts against their regime and waived their right to a transfer fee.

TODAYS JOKE

My hamster broke his leg recently so I fashioned him a splint out of two Swan Vesta matches ...............................

You should have seen his little face light up when he tried to walk !


I'll get me extinguisher !

FIND YOURSELF AT WEMBLEY

The World's largest 360* panoramic photograph ... everyone's face visible at Wembley for last season's cup final game between Manchester City and Stoke, Find and tag yourself with Facebook ..... there's also the record breaking Take That Final night concert from July 9th.

FIND YOURSELF HERE -> http://wembley360.wembleystadium.com/facupfinal2011.html OR HERE -> http://wembley360.wembleystadium.com/

HOW TO SCARE THE PUBLIC ..... WITH LIES

TODAYS JOKE

Well that will be the first and last time I use my Sean Connery accent to ask my girlfriend to sit on my face.



I'll get me clean wipes !

'Spartacus: Vengeance' ........ Jan 2012

Rumour: A “beautiful [and] vicious” female gladiator will be maiming the men of the arena in Spartacus: Vengeance. Casting news and plot details on the new female gladiator are still top secret, but we’re told, “She’s a passionate competitor—both on the battlefield and in the bedroom.”

First there was 'Blood and Sand', then there was the prequel 'Gods of the Arena' and next there will be 'Vengeance'. Yes, Season 2 of Spartacus will arrive on our screens in Jan 2012 and will follow our hero as he builds an army of slaves to take on the might of the Roman Empire itself.

THE STORY

Spartacus: Blood and Sand is a Starz television series that premiered on January 22, 2010. The series is inspired by the historical figure of Spartacus (played by Andy Whitfield), a Thracian gladiator who from 73 to 71 BC led a major slave uprising against the Roman Republic.

The show was initially renewed for a second season but production was delayed because Whitfield was diagnosed with early-stage non-Hodgkin lymphoma. Due to the delay, Starz produced a six-episode prequel series, entitled Spartacus: Gods of the Arena. Pre-production of season 2 began following the announcement that Whitfield was cancer free, however his cancer recurred. Starz has since replaced Whitfield with actor Liam McIntyre, who will play Spartacus for season two.

RETURNING FOR SEASON 2 [Click for full size]

NOT RETURNING FOR SEASON 2 [Click for full size]

Spartacus series creator Steven S. DeKnight said in an interview, There are a "couple of very strong candidates" for the role of Spartacus, and season two should begin production in New Zealand in April [2011]. DeKnight added that the Spartacus producers and Starz executives weren't always sure they would go forward without Andy Whitfield, who they said had brought "gravity and heart" to the role of the famous warrior. "It's unheard of to recast your titular character in a television show, and we did a lot of soul searching about whether we even wanted to try", DeKnight said. "And then Andy [Whitfield] said, 'I really think the show should go forward without me. I give you the blessing. I want this story told.'"

Official:Torres has now won more trophies at Chelsea than he did with Liverpool

Fernando Torres's scriptwriter has finally earned his money. The Spaniard's ineffective form in pre-season was jettisoned in timely fashion here as Chelsea bade farewell to the far east with victory, the Barclays Asia Trophy and a striker looking more like his old self. The goal guided in with the Spaniard's first touch just before the hour-mark was instinctively pilfered and hardly celebrated. It was also hugely welcome.

The Spaniard sidefooted Florent Malouda's low shot past Shay Given after being introduced just before the hour mark to add to Josh McEachran's early opener on Saturday.

LOL

THE INTERWEB IS NOT FOR EVERYONE

Monroe or Einstein ?

You probably know whether or not you're near-sighted, but some people get so used to seeing things a certain way that they ignore a vision problem, squint a lot, and end up with unnecessary eye strain at the computer.

This double-image cuts straight to the point:

Normal vision people will see Einstein.

Short sighted people will see Marilyn Monroe.

Sick minded people will see Marilyn with a moustache.

If you aren't near-sighted and you want to see the image how near-sighted folks do, you can squint or just walk away from your computer until you see Monroe.

TRY TO TOUCH HIS NOSE

Click here to play -> http://www.selfcontrolfreak.com/slaan.html

Big Lebowski bungalow up for sale - for $2.3million

If you've dreamed of living like The Dude from Big Lebowski since 1998 - here's your chance.
The one-bedroom bungalow Jeff Bridges' character lived in for Joel and Ethan Coen's cult film is on the market.

But with a nearly $2.3million price tag for the Venice, California property, it's unlikely El Duderino himself would have scrounged up the cash to crash there.

The six one-bedroom cottages at 606-608 Venezia Avenue are being sold as a group by local Bulldog Realtors.

According to the listing, The Big Lebowski Compound's 'historic' one bedroom cottages sit on 10,628 sq ft lot, blocks to the beach and Abbot Kinney.

But the property has had a major facelift since the film, helping the owners, who live out of town, to push up the asking price to $2.295million.

In 2005, the compound underwent major renovations, including new sewer line and roofing.

The property features 'spacious side-yards and a lushly landscaped gated courtyard,' according to listing agent Winston Cenac.

He told L.A. Weekly: 'It's a gorgeous little compound. Some of the tenants are decorators, so on the inside, the units just look primo.'

But could The Dude afford it?

'There's no way,' he said. 'In the movie the whole compound is very rundown.'

SPURS TRANSFER DEPT RUNNING ‘BUY 2 GET ONE FREE’ DEAL

If one Premiership side has more potential for comedy than Tottenham I’ve yet to see the. Spurs have a large squad stacked to the rafters with players who quite frankly have been dropping in value for an entire season.

Spurs fans are begging in the streets to be told a decent signing is on the cards but until some of the existing superstars are found new homes this looks highly unlikely.

FOOTBALL FANS FROM LIVERPOOL, DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK

FOR EVERYONE ELSE

CLICK HERE FOR A RIGHT OL' GIGGLE - > http://evertontime.com/

UNDERWORLD AWAKENING

Kate Beckinsale, star of the first two films, returns in her lead role as the vampire warrioress Selene, who escapes imprisonment to find herself in a world where humans have discovered the existence of both Vampire and Lycan clans, and are conducting an all-out war to eradicate both immortal species.

Underworld Awakening" brings a stunning new dimension to the epic battle between Vampires and Lycans, as the first film in the franchise to shoot in 3D.

Kate Beckinsale, Stephen Rea, Michael Ealy, Theo James, India Eisley, Charles Dance

Release Date: January 20, 2012 (3D/2D theaters)

'The Walking Dead': Showrunner Frank Darabont Stepping Down ?

At last weekend's Comic-Con panel, executive producer Frank Darabont promised that the season picks up just five minutes after the end, so there's none of what he called "this six months later crap." This season finds them pretty much constantly on the run - including an epic sequence where they have to cross a zombie-infested highway - with even the small safety net of last year's camp gone. They will eventually reach a minor safe haven at Herschel's farm, which will introduce a bunch of new characters, but it sounds like the season might essentially be one long chase scene.

Sources confirmed to The Hollywood Reporter that Darabont, the creator, executive producer and director of the zombie hit based on the comics by Robert Kirkman, is stepping down as showrunner. Whether the former feature film director will stay on with the series remains unclear.

Darabont gave no indication that he was considering stepping down during his panel at Comic-Con, noting that conversations were currently under way to cast three major roles for the upcoming second season.

In late May, however, Darabont told THR that he feared budget cuts would hurt the series but he had no other creative complaints at the time.

“Creatively I have no complaints thus far,” Darabont said at the time. “But I believe if they do move ahead with what they’re talking about [with budget cuts], it will affect the show creatively ... in a negative way. Which just strikes me as odd. If you have an asset, why would you punish it?”

Season 2 of The Walking Dead premieres Sunday, October 16th.