HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN DISCOVERY CHANNEL DOCUMENTARY

HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL NEED .........

A SUBJECT THAT CANNOT BE PROVEN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER :

One video camera

One 30 second grainy clip of your chosen subject -

(This can be used up to 15 times at different speeds)

One cassette tape of " Spooky Music "

One list of 25 rhetorical questions to ask your audience -

("Could it be ..... " and " Is it possible ...... " are my personal favorites , but dont forget to use " perhaps " at least 9 times )

One hillbilly type witness to the event

Fourteen red herrings

One packet of dodgy facts

Some old photos of people looking at something

One expert no one's ever heard of -

(A male who sports a beard but no moustache will do nicely)

MIX TOGETER IN A BOWL AND COOK FOR 40mins AT GAS MARK 5 , LEAVE TO SET FOR APPROX 12 mins AND THEN GARNISH WITH THE FOLLOWING -

A drizzle of fake science

A dash of exaggeration

and a dollop of bullshoite

If you use all the above rules , and add in recaps of the previous section and previews of the next section .... it is possible to make your 30 sec piece of film become the subject of an entire 50 minute program .

If you're subject is ancient or the person involved is dead , then who's to say that what you report is true or not .... take advantage of this anomaly , and remember that if you are doing a re-construction of any type , never do it all in one go ..... space it out between each section in order to keep your audience in suspense , try to be subtle here as doing this too slowly may result in your target audience switching over in an effort to get on with their life.

and always remember ..... if you dont really know something

it's ok to speculate .............. Thank you and Good Day to you.