EL CLASICO: BARCELONA 5 - REAL MADRID 0

José Mourinho always said that his side would lose one day but he did not expect to lose like this – not after enjoying the greatest start of any coach in Real Madrid's history. His team, so impermeable before, were punctured. Five times. They were sunk. A 5-0 victory for Barcelona was described by the Madrid coach as a "historically bad result" for his club – it was the worst defeat he has suffered in his career.

And Real's night ended in complete humiliation as Ronaldo sparked a massive brawl by shoving Barca boss Pep Guardiola and Sergio Ramos was sent off in injury time for a shocking tackle on Argentina star Messi.

While goals by Xavi, Pedro, David Villa — who got two — and sub Jeffren sent the Nou Camp fans into raptures, the Special One slumped into the dark and gloomy shadows of his dugout. No tricks, no provocation, no solutions, no inspiration.

No wonder. It was the first time Mourinho had lost a match by more than three goals.



Guardiola's Barcelona won their fifth straight clash with Madrid over the last two and a half years, and the Catalans have spanked their biggest rivals 16-2 on aggregate during the remarkable run of domination which Mourinho was hired to end.

Guardiola said: "This wasn't a definitive result when it comes to who will win the league but we did define for the entire world how it is we like to play football.

The reason I'm posting this video -- >
is because of the commentator, Ray Hudson ... He’s the former coach now turned announcer for US-based GolTV. And he’s a legend. Or the worst thing ever to be found on television. There are two sides of the fence when it comes to Ray, as his claim to fame is his very liberal use of the English language, similes that are equally confusing and hilarious, and the happiness which happens in his pants whenever anything even remotely special happens on a football pitch.

1. “The immovable object meets the irresistible force.” 
2. On Cristiano Ronaldo’s favorite move(s) – “Blades flashing like a combine harvester.”
3. On Lionel Messi – “Like a squirrel on a telegraph wire.”
4. On Lionel – “He could follow you into a revolving door and he’d still come out first.”
5. On Xavi – “Old chameleon eyes with that kaleidoscope vision.”
6. On the first half skirmish – “Then Valdes comes out and spits the verbals like Mussolini at the balcony”
7. “David Villa absolutely makes Sergio Ramos his little lollipop”
8. “Real Madrid’s defense stretched out like spandex on Miami beach”
9. On Barca’s fourth – “The precise pass that opens up the white shirts like a fresh fish.”
10. the third Barcelona goal – “this is a goal of orgiastic proportions”