THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW IF YOU JOIN CHELSEA CHAT

AS A MEMBER OF CHELSEA CHAT, I CAN CONFIRM THAT THESE RULES DO APPLY



SOME OTHER RULES


#1 - Any mention of a lady with specific regards to her attractiveness must always be accompanied with an image of suffient quality to allow other chatters to make a judgement without having to resort to Google. There are some exceptions to this rule, but not many, so always err on the side of caution.

#2 - Don't mention Moscow (note - we are aware that this rule is a paradox in itself. But... f*ck off).

#3 - Don't mention Steve Guppy (note - see #2)

#4 - All questions of a numerical nature must be replied to with "23" by all currently logged in users.

#5 - Celebrity Chelsea fans are all karnts, and any media outlet associated with any particular chatter should be regarded as suspect. [ Amendment 1 , this does not apply to sports personalities ]

#6 - When in an argument/conversation with Asger, it is necessary to ridicule his profession.

#7 - Any ''problem'' post by a chatter must in due course be followed by an amusing post from another chatter posing as the "other person" in the dilemma referred to earlier.The only acceptible response to a post by Perillo is 'fakk off you cont'.

#8 - The only acceptible response to a post by Perillo is 'fakk off you cont'.

#9 - If you post in the incorrect place, you must follow up with the always humerous "Oops, wrong hole".

#10 - Threads which descend into long lists of bad puns shall be marked out for specialist status.

#11 - All typos must be corrected with a post which contains an inadvertent typo.

#12 - Any suggestion that Lamps is portly is definitely not allowed, nor the terms 'Fat Frank' and 'Cashley', or ''Benny'' for Carlo, or ''Kalouless''!!

#13 - Any exclamation such as ''total whaanker'' in reference to, say an unpopular opposition player of TV figure, must be intentionally misunderstood to apply to the original poster him(or her)self and be replied to in turn with with a comedic "bit harsh" or some such.

#14 - All posters must be fully aware of all latest news and previous posts. Otherwise a Noah reference will be applied. That or a 'Great fire of London/Pudding Lane' reference.

#15 - Any mention of cricket shall be greeted with at least three responses of "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz", "who cares about fekking cricket" etc etc.

#16 - Any abusive phrase such as " orrible little twunt " has to be followed with " Him, not you ".

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