..... AND THE WINNER IS ............

Eden Hazard is a footballer in demand at the moment and, boy, has he really gone out of his way to put himself in the shop window.


Hazard has teased and pouted his way through the most embarrassing transfer auction of recent times, smiling beguilingly through the glass at his suitors and making it abundantly clear that he is absolutely and totally committed to whoever happens to be walking past with the largest wallet.

Right now, Hazard is on the verge of accepting a huge money deal from either Chelsea, Manchester United, Manchester City or even - and don't laugh - Arsenal, depending on which paper you read.

City are said to be cooling on the transaction, allegedly because of the outrageous demands being made by agents.

While Arsenal appear to have as much of a chance of signing Hazard as Portsmouth.

But the suggestion kept his publicity machine spinning along regardless.

NOT THE NEXT MESSI

While there is nothing wrong with the Belgian trying to negotiate the most attractive deal for himself as he exits Lille, the manner in which he has gone about it has undeniably cheapened his appeal.

He broadcast he would reveal his chosen club last weekend, plugging this momentous declaration for all it was worth (which, according to reports, could be anything up to £32million and £200,000 a week).

But it turned out it was another tease and the protracted sale was dragged out a little longer.

Hazard said this week: 'I don't know when I'll make a decision. It will be Manchester City, Manchester United or Chelsea. The decision will depend on the amount of play I would see and the position.'

And the cash, of course.

Regular viewers of The X Factor hope to see the young Belgian running around on stage in three different football strips over the weekend, and they will then have the chance of voting for which ever colour they think suits Eden best [calls will be charged at the usual rates].

Also keep your eyes peeled during The 57th Annual Eurovision Song Contest coming from Azerbaijan tonight in case Hazard decides he might indicate in some manner which direction the wind may be blowing.

The danger now is that by the time Hazard arrives in the Premier League, everyone will already be heartily sick of him.

..............................................................................................................................................

MEANWHILE ........................

After being released by Aston Villa, former England striker Emile Heskey is believed to have arrived in Hull to discuss a move to Leicester, missing his targeted destination by approximately 83 miles.

Heskey is believed to have veered off course after spotting some goalposts on a playing field on the A38 outside leicester.

The former Liverpool and Wigan frontman, who scored 9 goals for Aston Villa in 90 league appearances, is believed to be keen on a move back to his hometown club as soon as he’s worked out where it is.

AND ....................

Owen vows to continue top-­flight sitting

The collapsible striker was released by the club after caretakers were doing a closed season clearout at Old Trafford and noticed him in the corner of a storage cupboard gingerly massaging the back of his thigh.

Owen said: “I still take a keen interest in the game and from what I’ve seen from the television in my living room, there’s Premier League benches out there I think I could definitely sit on whilst looking at my iPhone and wearing a big Puffa jacket.

“I’m fairly young at 32 – my right leg is still only a toddler – but I’m not ready to drop a division as most of their benches aren’t heated and the cold would absolutely cripple me.”

Owen will launch MickeyTV, a new channel in the high 800s of the Sky box, via which he will encourage managers to call in and make a bid until he is signed.

The channel will feature soft ­focus footage of him getting off a coach, sitting on a bench, running up and down a touchline a few times, sitting back down on a bench and getting on a coach, to show managers what they could be getting.

Sofa manufacturers DFS are believed to have approached Owen about a sponsorship deal, and Anusol have also shown an interest.

But Owen said: “Although I’ve been concentrating on my sitting, my heart is still in playing football, and I can’t wait to get back out there and battle against great defenders like Tony Adams and Marcel Desailly.