THATS RICH !

Ringo Starr has announced that he is no longer going to reply to fanmail ........... for a guy who stumbled into a career on the back of some of the most talented musicians in Music history , that is a little patronizing ........... how dare this talentless git ( once voted the 3rd best drummer .......... in the Beatles ......... by the band members ) announce such a thing , there are few examples anywhere in popular culture where someone with so little potential has risen to such dizzy heights by having the right haircut at the right time . On the singles " Dear Prudence , Back in the USSR and The Balled of John and Yoko " Paul McCartney played drums , not that anyone would have noticed that Ringo was missing .

John Lennon , Sir Paul McCartney and George Harrison inspired a generation with their musical achievements , rarely has there been a Band with such an amount of musical genius within it and for the dross of such a band to now say to his fans that it's too much trouble for him to respond to those who thought that he had any input at all in this Supergroup ( apart from keeping the beat and stumbling across some song titles ) called The Beatles is insulting to all music lovers worldwide .

Its a pity that Heather Mills didn't run into him at a charity bash instead of Paul ........ If there is any justice in the world , he will end up in a Celebrity show in the future and be voted off first .

I hope his tombstone reads " Here lies the voice of Thomas the Tank Engine " ......... the only memorable thing he's ever done .
When you consider that he has many homes paid for by his fans , one would expect more .

I didn't think he could go down further in my estimation .......... I was wrong ! .

POLAR BEAR THEFT RING UNCOVERED

In Churchill, Manitoba, the polar bear capitol of the world, a mysterious crime spree has apparently been solved.
(Churchill, Manitoba) Here in the polar bear capitol of the world, living with polar bears is never boring. In late summer everyone is on edge as hundreds of polar bears come into town after the sea ice melts on Hudson Bay. Because the bears are so dangerous to humans, people leave their doors unlocked in case someone gets chased by a bear, and children are not allowed to walk to school alone. Contrast this fearsome reputation of the adult polar bear, weighing up to 1,500 pounds and possibly the most dangerous carnivore on Earth, with cuddly-looking polar bear cubs and one might wonder, "when do the bears go 'bad'? What causes these innocent cubs to grow up to be so vicious?" The answer to this mystery might be found in another mystery that has plagued Churchill for years. Even though everyone knows each other in this sleepy little town, there have been an unusual number of thefts. Cars, boats, and even garbage cans have been taken. But the stolen items always seem to turn up again. For instance, cars and trucks usually have been driven to the edge of Hudson Bay, and then left there with their motors running and with the doors open. Boats are taken, but they usually end up being found pulled up upon an ice floe out in the bay. Garbage is actually stolen out of the cans. The thefts have pitted neighbor against neighbor, and have made the residents of Churchill suspicious of everyone. But then a group of townspeople decided to install a few security cameras to try to catch the culprit. The plan paid off when two bear cubs were caught stealing a boat (see picture above). "It appears that the young cubs simply have too much time on their paws, and without close parental supervision, they go out in search of thrills", explained Manitoba Provincial Police officer Ursula Merrytime. "When the cubs are left unsupervised, anything can happen." Instead of walking the distance between town and the bay, the bear cubs steal rides in boats, cars and trucks. Since most people do not lock their vehicles, and keys are often left in the ignition, they are easy targets for roving gangs of juvenile bear thugs. When the cubs get hungry, rather than chase seals, they simply steal the nearest garbage can along with its tasty contents. Now that the mystery is solved, the residents of Churchill have a new problem: how to keep the cubs from continuing with their troublemaking. Talking with the cubs' parents has gotten nowhere since the parents respond very defensively, even aggressively. The local bear jail, used for the most troublesome adult bears, could possibly be used for confining cubs as well, by many residents are offended by cute bear cubs being locked up in the slammer. A Bear Youth Center has also been discussed as a way to offer more wholesome activities to the cubs to occupy their idle time. "But something has to be done", said Officer Merrytime, "I just can't bear many more of these thefts…I'm already covered up in paperwork as it is."

BASIL-GATE

THE Madrid government last night sprang to the defence of Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross hailing them as the new heroes of anti-Spanish racism.

'My Eeengleesh is a very gooood' Prime minister José Luis Zapatero said the assault on Andrew Sachs was 'measured' given the actor's portrayal of a halfwit Spaniard who thinks a rat is some kind of Siberian hamster.Zapatero said Sachs, banned from entering Spain since 1976, was single-handedly responsible for the country's image as a nation of greasy-haired chimpanzees who have to have everything explained to them twice.
A spokesman for the Spanish embassy in London said: "We've been leaving dirty messages on his answerphone for years.
"And every Sunday we camp outside his house and chuck handfuls of paella at his front door."Spain's biggest newspaper El Pais said: "Señors Ross and Brand are the champions of every waiter who has ever served a table of drunken English tourists who find it amusing to answer all of his questions with 'Qué?' until one of them finally comes out with 'I'm so sorry, he's from Barcelona'." Meanwhile, as Russell Brand admitted he had been 'caught up in the money', jumped-up researcher Jonathan Ross was last night told to apologise 18 million times over the next three years.The BBC has also offered Brand's £200,000 salary to the Treasury to help pay down the jaw-droppingly out-of-control national debt that everyone seems to think is irrelevant compared to some swear words on an answering machine.

The DailyMash.co.UK

MORE NONSENSE FROM PALIN

If she's going to lie to the electorate during the election , what makes you think it will be any different if she gets into the White House ?
[Lesson in life no.6 ........ When someone shows you their true self ... dont make them show you twice . ]
Or as Bush would say ...... " fool me ..... eh ...... fool me eh once , eh ............. eh ........ you wont fool me again ! "

Now , some of you folks ( wink ) will say .... " She's being fed these lines , she's being told what to say , McCain cannot come out and say these things .... he has a reputation to protect ...... she doesn't " , her reputation is getting muddier by the day , " Abuse of power " is not a term you'd want associated with a VP nominee , and trying to lie your way out of it wont help , suggesting that The Obama camp has something to do with an inquiry that started a month before it was announced that She had been chosen to run as VP for her party is simply ludicrous and smacks of desperation for the Republicans .
But just because her reputation is in question now does not abregate responsibility for saying " untruths " , where is her " Maverick " streak now ? ...... where are her morals ? ......... she could say " NO " , truth is ..... she is being used , she is nothing more than a puppet , a pawn to make McCain look moral .
When the woman supporter says to McCain that she thinks Obama is an arab , this is a direct result of the lies that Palin is spewing at McCains command ......... it doesn't matter that McCain defends Obama at this point ............ its too late , the cat is out of the bag , are we supposed to respect McCain more now for defending an American citizen from slander ?
Is that not what we'd expect from any presidential nominee , aren't they supposed to do the right thing anyway ?
There will always be a bigoted section of the population that will believe any nonsense that the McCain camp pumps out , some of these people still believe that Barack Obama is a muslim , and is not American and will never accept him as a president if he gets elected , it's no coincidense that these people are mostly uneducated southern people ( the Republican fan base ) , the problem is that these people have a vote .......... shouldn't there be requirements in order to vote ?

1 ....... to be able to count to ten.
2 ....... to be able to read
3 ....... to be able to appreciate wildlife in its natural environment without feeling the need to kill it.
4 ....... to be able to see another persons point of view .

I mean ...... really .

Patronising TV

PATRONISE ; (used of behaviour or attitude) characteristic of those who treat others with condescension ( people who talk down to others , people who think they are better than others )

Welcome to Irish daytime TV , the most patronising TV on this planet .......... if you haven't watched it ........... dont waste your time , if you do watch it ................... STOP !!!!

There was a sketch on French and Saunders a few years back that sums up alot of whats wrong with these shows ........... it portrayed a totally vacuous presenter who was more into herself and what freebees she could obtain than the problems of guests on the show . A typical example of this was the introduction .......... " and from 10 till 10:30 , we shall be dealing with fashion , then from 10:30 till 11:00 we shall be discussing cosmetic surgery for the more mature woman , from 11:00 untill 11:05 ..... we shall be having an in depth discussion on depression , does it affect you ? ...... is there help out there ? .......... what can we do to help ? ................. and then from 11:05 till 12 noon , we shall be finding out what's happining in Hollywood !!!!!! "

This is Irish daytime TV .......... psudo-journalists discussing what they did over the weekend , how bad the job market is ( not for them though ) , how the credit crunch is affecting the people of Ireland ( they always have an anecdote to show how it's hurting them , usually something like " I was going to buy a 3rd home in Croatia for cash recently , but now I have to tighten my belt along with everyone else ") and funnily enough .... they always seems to be an overweight presenter who does " the food segment " , for IRELAND AM ...... this is Aiden Cooney , the man who walks the Dublin City marathon ................. Jesus wept !!!

Then we can move onto " SEOIGE AND O'SHEA " ( its very important that these people have Irish names ) ......... " daytime TV duo Grainne Seoige and Joe O'Shea host this increasingly popular entertainment TV show. The programme offers a tantalising mix of real life stories, celebrity revelations and topical reports about what's going on around Ireland. " This show has now been replaced by " SEOIGE " hosted by Grainne and her sister Sile , presumeably Joe's name wasn't " Irish enough " ........ shame on you Joe , apart from that minor change .... its the same nonsense ( I wont bore you ) .

Then we move onto " THE AFTERNOON SHOW " ..... " Hosted by Blathnaid Ni Chofaigh ( note the Irish name )and Sheana Keane , The Afternoon Show offers viewers a feast of entertainmemt. From soap news, cookery, topical discussions and celebrity guests, Blathnaid and Sheana always get your afternoon into full swing. "

( Please note that the presenter on the right is not Sheana Keane , this is Anna Nolan , the only decent presenter that's been on the show , she has moved on to present TV in the UK )

Unfortunately , that leaves the Irish public with the dross . a mother of 4 who thinks that she is a " hockey mom " who , everyday exclaims that every meal she tastes on the show is " only gorgeous !" and thinks that coats for €900 are being " given away ! " ( which of course is true for her ).

Along with many people I know , I have no idea who these programs are directed at , presumably the 1% of Irish women who's husbands earn €1m per anum .

The guy in the middle is the " entertainment guru " in this mess of a show , his information comes direct from the net ( Perez Hilton presumably ) and constantly has trouble answering any kind of direct question at all .

All in all , this kind of television is a visual alternative to a cheap glossy mag , all frills and no substance ............... makes you wonder why we pay a licience fee at all .

The TIWE Watch

The Tiwe watch, designed by Lv Zhongfang, is a very cool watch. Normally when the watch is just sitting there on your wrist the little dots just randomly float around on the watch face. If you do need to know the time though, you just shake the watch or hit the glass surface slightly and the dots form into the hour and minute hands, letting you know what time it is.

DISSENTERS HATE FREEDOM

Six retired generals came out and criticized the Secretary of Defense for the conduct of the war, and to hear the FOX News and rightie bloggers tell it, they might as well have been on Osama's payroll. Since when does being an American mean that any one of us is supposed to sit down and shut up? If dissenters hate freedom, then up is down.

We are told that America stands for " Freedom of Speech " but these days Americans are told they are " Emboldening the enemy " if they have a point of view that differs from the Government line , it reminds me of a russian comedian who said , " In America , you can stand in Times Square and shout ' I dont agree with the President of The United States ' ..... and in Russia you can do the same .... you can stand in Red Square and shout ' I dont agree with the President of The United States ' ........ it was funny at the time , but now you would be considered a traitor if you did this in Times Square , we now see Presidential candidates referred to as " American Heroes " and as " Traitorous " , there are a large amount of Americans who are scared , so scared that will believe any nonsense tossed at them by the Republican press and its no coincidence that these people are Christian fundimentalist - gun toting - hummer driving white people .

Its about time that these people realized that they lost the war ( the civil war ) and started to get with the program , they live in some 18th century utopia where they rule the world and everyone else should bow to their opinions .

Opportunity knocks ...... and knocks and knocks .....

When I was young .......... everyone knew where they stood with regard to talent and talent contests ............... it was easy , straightforward and alot of fun .
Hughie Green called your name , you had a few minutes to impress the
world with your amazing talent , the audience clapped and your score was
registered on the " Clapometer " , then the audience would send in their postal vote and the winner would be announced the following week
If you won ......... well ... you could become a star
If you lost .......... well ... then you went home !
Whats the problem ?
It made sense , isn't life supposed to make sense ?
Some of the winners became popular household names ...... such as Les Dawson , Freddie Starr , Frank Carson , Little and Large , Mary Hopkin , Bobby Crush and Bonnie Langford .Some didn't get past the audition ......... such as Englebert Humperdinck and The Jam . It wasn't perfect .... but it was fun .................... So what happened ?........................The same thing that happened to all TV shows ........................................ Greed !


Enter Simon ( the ghoul ) Cowell to pander to the pathetic masses who think seeing people derided and laughed at is OK. I am not a fan of the man , the shows or the ritual humiliation dished out to some of the participants , there is no respect . And people wonder why kids today have no respect ...... you watch enough of this nonsense and you'll start to think it's funny to put people down too , yes ... some of the contestants are delusional but it's only supposed to be entertainment ......... everyone deserves to be treated the same

Television has become one long string of " How much humiliation will you put up with for fame or fortune ? "
Cowell once referred to a contestant as a " bush baby " ( American Idol 2006/07 )

[Did you know that when you sign up to appear on " The Weakest Link " .... you have to agree not to backchat Anne Robinson ?]
But the most pathetic part of all to me is ..... the sad people who text in and believe that their vote counts ........ The only thing that counts on that show is ..... whether the eventual winner is willing to sign a contract with Simon Cowell , and I'm thinking that this is decided pretty early on in the series .

WHERE DID ALL THE COMMUNISTS GO ?

I can remember a time in the States when everyone had to be vigilant , everyone had to keep their eyes on their neighbours , even their friends because of " The Red Peril " ........... Reds under the beds was no joke , this was serious , these " Commies " were trying to undermine the American way of life ............ and they were everywhere !!!!

Funny thing is ........... since The American Government discovered ( invented ) Al Qeada ......... why ..... all the communists have simply vanished , they are no more , they have ceased to be !

Makes you wonder how much of a real threat they were in the first place ........... or does it ?

I guess that if you live in Alabama ........ you just consider whoever the Government tells you is a threat to be the threat .......... dont these people ever ask questions ?

I'm not scared of Communists , I'm not that scared of Al Qeada ......... the people who scare me are the American people who believe whatever their told and vote for the people who make up the stories , the Americans who think that they live in a Democracy ........ and they have guns , lots and lots of guns !!!

Tesco ..... your friendly neighbourhood store ?

Of the major supermarkets in the UK, only Tesco and Sainsbury's offer a loyalty card-scheme to customers. Tesco's Clubcard scheme has been operating since 1995 and has now become the largest loyalty card in the UK, with around 13 million active Clubcard holders.
Customers can collect one Clubcard point for every £1 (or €1 in Ireland) they spend in a Tesco store, Tesco Petrol or Tesco.com. Customers can also collect points by paying with a Tesco Credit Card, or by using Tesco Mobile, Tesco Homephone, Tesco Broadband, selected Tesco Personal Finance products or through Clubcard partners, Powergen and Avis. Each point equates to 1p in store when redeemed or 4p when used with clubcard deals (offers for holidays, day trips, etc). Clubcard points can also be converted to Airmiles. Clubcard points are also converted into coupons which can be redeemed for extra points or cash totals
Holders receive quarterly Clubcard statements offering discount coupons which can be spent in-store, online or on various Clubcard deals.
Tesco was cited in a Wall Street Journal article as using the intelligence from the Clubcard to thwart Wal-Mart's initiatives in the UK.

Have a guess what can happen if someone happens to find your handy " Tesco keyring " ......... well , there's a number on the little card thats on the fob ......... they can phone this number and then get onto a Tesco representitive ...... Here's what happened to one (un)lucky customer ...... The finder explained that they had found a keyring with a Tesco club card (and a bunch of keys ) attatched and wanted to know how to return it to the right owner , the helpful Tesco customer care department gave out the name and address of the owner of the keyring presumeably keeping their fingers crossed as they did so in the hope that their customer wouldn't have either their car or their house contents robbed thanks to Tesco's blind stupidity .......... every little helps !

The God particle

Well .......... so far so good ........... they fired the hedron collider an hour ago ......... and so far .......... no sign of " Particle Man " , or " Hedron Boy " .......... and the earth has survived .

It begs the question ............. do these scientists have a clue what the hell their doing ?

$5 billion ........... lets hope we find out something !!!

IS DANIEL CRAIG THE BEST BOND SO FAR ?

I like this Bond .......... no silly names , no silly quips ....... it's almost like he's grown up at last .


Ok , he aint Jason Bourne yet ......... but its gettin there .

Truth and Lies.

In the age of Google ........... what is the point of lying to the general population ?

And having lied ........... whats the point of then calling that " Mis-speaking " ?

Why do polititions have so many words for " lying " that make it sound like they are not lying ?

John McCain stated " Sarah Palin sold the Alaskan Governors jet on ebay ......... and sold it at a profit ! .......... Har Har Har ( creepy smile ) " ................. Lie + Lie

Putting a jet for sale on ebay is one thing ............ but , it did not sell ( fact ) ....... it had to be sold privately .......... at a LOSS ( fact ) .

Then , having being found out ......... the Republicans release a story about Barack Obama's jet ..... Quote ......... "Barack Obama recently finished a $500,000 total overhaul of his 757. And as part of the new design, he decided to remove the American flag from the tail...What American running for President of the United States would remove the symbol of his country? And worse, he replaced the flag with it with a symbol of himself ... "

Want the truth ?

Barack Obama primarily used this Boeing 757

aircraft , chartered from ( and operated by )

North American airlines as his campaign plane .

During that period , the plane bore the standard colour scheme and company markings of all North American Airlines aircraft .

However , once the primary campaign ended and

Barack Obama became the presumtive Democratic presidential nominee , his campaign plane

underwent a month-long refurbishment to prepare it for the Presidential campaign , a process that included reconfigureing the interior seating and modifying the exterior markings and publicize the aircraft as Obama's official campaign plane .

The fact is .... the American flag on the tail of the Aircraft is a registered North American Airlines trademark logo .......... do you see ? .......... its a trademark logo .............. get it ??

The plane retains the US flag adjacend to the plane's regestrations numbers .

Here's a pic of John McCain's " Straight talk express " ...... spot the US flag !!!

PEDOPHILE NERVOUS ABOUT FIRST DAY AT SCHOOL :

Easy now ............ this is just a joke ............................ OK ?

SEATTLE—Worried about meeting new children and making friends, area pedophile Howard Dengal admitted Monday that he was feeling "pretty nervous" for the first day of school.
"I hope the kids at Hampstead Elementary like me," said Dengal, who spent the summer reading comic books, watching early morning cartoons, and hanging around the entrance of a local swimming pool. "It'd be nice to have someone to play with during recess."

An anxious Dengal hopes some of the kids he knows from Little League will be there.
In preparation for Tuesday's start to the school year, Dengal picked out his favorite Batman shirt, Yankees baseball cap, and knee-length trench coat to wear. The 37-year-old then carefully packed a blue knapsack with two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and some toys.
A change of shorts was also added to the knapsack.
"Maybe someone will see me in the morning and come up and say hello," said Dengal, who claimed that he's always a bit shy at first. "And maybe if we both like the same kind of stuff, and he has dark-brown hair, we could be friends."
After finishing his dinner and practicing a few funny jokes in front of the mirror, Dengal reportedly got ready for bed around 9 p.m. Though he tried to fall right asleep, the twice-convicted pedophile said he began to get "all excited" just thinking about school.
"I bet there's going to be a big playground, and a jungle gym, and some really tall bushes that go all the way around everything," Dengal said while tossing and turning in anticipation. "Yeah, I shouldn't be nervous. I'm going to really like this new school."
The middle-aged man went on to tell himself that it's perfectly natural to feel a little nervous on the first day of class, and that there would probably be lots of kids also feeling scared that morning. According to Dengal, he plans to just be himself, learn the names of as many children as he can, and avoid getting into trouble with any of the teachers at Hampstead Elementary.
"After I get to know some of the kids, I could ask them if they like video games, and if they say yes, I could invite them over after school to play my Nintendo Wii," Dengal said. "And then later that week we could have a sleepover, and we could all watch scary movies, and try out the new camera I just got, and eat pizza until we pass out."
Added Dengal, "We could make it a secret club that no one ever has to know about."
Despite "really looking forward" to the first day of school, Dengal said he hasn't always had an easy time making new friends. The sexual predator claimed that he's been repeatedly ignored in the past, told several times to "go away" and "stop talking to us," and once had a group of third-graders call him hurtful names.
In addition, Dengal said the fact that he's always moving around from town to town hasn't helped when it comes to keeping friendships.
"It seems like every time I meet a kid I really like, something bad happens, and I suddenly have to change schools," Dengal said. "That's what happened with my friend Joshua. I still talk to him online sometimes, but it's not the same."
While Dengal said he hopes his luck will finally change this year, the registered sex offender admitted that there was one thing that still worried him.
"There better not be too many girls at school this year," Dengal said. "Last year there was, like, a hundred of them, and they were all so stupid and gross."
"Yuck," Dengal added. "Girls!"

You gotta love the Onion !

Majority of Parents Abuse children - Children Report

LOS ANGELES—A chilling national poll of U.S. children ages 3 through 12 estimated that nearly 75 million youngsters suffer both physical and psychological abuse at the hands of their parents on a daily basis.

An abused child awaits her single allotted hour of television per day.
The poll, whose findings are part of a 700-page report released Tuesday by a coalition of child abuse monitoring and prevention organizations, indicts nearly 95 percent of American parents. It documents abuses ranging from less severe offenses, such as children being denied snacks just before dinner, to more egregious, long-term cases of neglect, such as never ever getting what they want, ever.
"My parents always tell me that I have to finish all my math homework or I won't be allowed to watch TV," said study participant and abuse victim "Derek," 10, who told researchers that some of his earliest memories were of this kind of mistreatment. "They're so mean. I hate them."
"I hate them, I hate them, I hate them," he added.
Encouraged to speak freely and confidentially about their home lives, subjects shocked even seasoned child welfare advocates with tales of systematic deprival and gratuitous cruelty. One Illinois boy told of being forced to linger with his mother in fabric stores and later leaving a Toys "R" Us empty-handed, even though the store sold a water gun he really wanted. An Arkansas 9-year-old said he spent all of third grade carrying a boring brown backpack instead of a super-cool Spider-Man one like a friend, whose parents love him, had. And a 6-year-old girl from Wisconsin was forced to sit at a dining room table for nearly two hours until she finished her canned green beans, a food widely considered by poll respondents to be disgusting and suitable only for adults.
"To hear the sadness in these kids' voices when they talk about how they are scared—literally scared—to bring home poor report cards, is heartbreaking," said Dr. Deirdre Fulton, child psychologist and director of the Nationwide Coalition to End Child Abuse, who co-authored the study. "Some of the children we interviewed even wished they were dead so their parents would feel guilty at their funerals."
"No child should ever wish to die," Fulton added.
According to pollsters, most victims were surprisingly open, even eager, to discuss their abuse, although some were less forthcoming about traumatic experiences that involved inappropriate touching.
"It's so embarrassing, and everybody sees it," said 7-year-old "Harry," whose mother hugs and kisses him goodbye in front of the school bus every day. "When it's happening, I close my eyes and wish it would stop, but it just goes on forever."
Other victims recounted similar forms of privacy invasion, such as being asked if they were wearing clean underwear, and being stripped naked and made to bathe, even after clearly stating that they did not need a bath.
Hair is another focus of unseemly pathological fixations, many children allege: Six out of 10 girls interviewed said that their mothers routinely and painfully pull, twist, and tug their hair into "stupid" hairstyles like pigtails, and some boys said that their mothers go so far as to use saliva to paste their hair into place.
According to the report, a shocking 100 percent of children who claimed to have been abused said their parents repeatedly answered "maybe" to a request, and then withheld from them a definitive answer for hours or, in some cases, days.
In addition to those who admitted to being touched inappropriately, 93 percent of children said they have, at one point or another, been subject to various types of physical abuse.
"My parents make me practice the piano for like 20 hours a day," said 8-year-old "Lacy," adding that sometimes she will hide in her closet to avoid rehearsal. "They told me if I hate it so much I can quit when I'm in seventh grade. That's like 40 years from now."
Some children, mostly boys, have even been pressed into brutal physical labor by their fathers, who demand their sons help them in the yard on Saturdays—one of only two days off for children who spend an average of 600 hours a week at school.
"He treats me like a slave," 12-year-old "Michael" said. "It's like it's my fault that my dad decided to buy a house with a lawn. And then when I do help, he says I shouldn't have had a bad attitude about it."
"Mom just sits there and lets the entire thing happen," "Michael" added.
In some of the more disturbing cases of abuse, parents reportedly take a domineering interest in their children's social lives, often threatening severe but undefined punishment for not being home by dark. Some children said their parents attempt to cut them off completely from the outside world, making many websites and television channels inaccessible and never letting them hang out with their friends.
The National Parents Association declined to comment on the overwhelming levels of abuse. When asked why they wouldn't comment, the NPA released a tersely worded statement: "Because we said so."

Thank God for the Onion.

Mark Hughes

There is no way that M ark Hughes is going to be the manager at Eastlands at the start of next season ........ the man doesn't have the personality to manage the stars who will arrive next summer ........... and the biggest casualties in this affair are the youth team at Manchester City who recently won The FA Youth Cup final by beating the Chelsea youth team 3-1. When do these young men think their going to join the first team playing alongside Robinho and the host of international stars they promice are on the way ?

I predict tears at bedtime at Manchester City ........