Thursday, September 30, 2010

ANOTHER SKY SPORTS PUNDIT MISSES A GOAL

Straight from the Chris Kamara school of match reporting, here's Big Alan McInally totally missing Blackburn's first goal at Blackpool last Saturday, not because he's incompetent… okay, partly that… but because he wasn't facing the goal at the time. Headmaster Jeff Stelling's reaction is pure quality, but then everything Jeff does is usually amazing.

TODAY'S TOP TIP

EARN BIG : money by displaying a “How's My Driving?” sign on your car, along with an 0906 number (£1.50 per minute) which you can aquire through BT. Then simply drive around town like a complete arsehole.

The Big Mac

Over the last 40 years, the Big Mac sandwich -- with its catchy jingle and elusive sauce recipe -- has solidified itself as a permanent fixture on the American landscape. McDonald's today honored the sandwich that long ago joined baseball and apple pie as an indelible symbol of American pop-culture.

Jim "MJ" Delligatti, 89, one of McDonald's founder Ray Kroc's earliest franchisees, invented the Big Mac in his Uniontown, Pa. restaurant and introduced it for 45 cents in 1967. Consisting of two 100% all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame-seed bun, the Big Mac quickly gained popularity and was introduced on the national menu in 1968.

"Forty years ago, I would never have dreamed that my creation would turn into a piece of Americana," said Delligatti. "Adult customers at the time were looking for a sandwich made just for them. I gave them what they wanted and now I'm celebrating the anniversary of a true icon."

To commemorate the anniversary, Delligatti and his family officially opened the doors to the McDonald's Big Mac Museum Restaurant -- "the most tasteful museum in the world" -- today in North Huntingdon, Pa. at 9061 Route 30. The combo museum/restaurant features the world's largest Big Mac statue (measuring 14 feet high and 12 feet wide), and hundreds of historic artifacts and high-tech exhibits that celebrate the Big Mac.

"It might surprise people to know that some of our most enduring products and programs have come through our network of Owner/Operators and Suppliers," said Jim Skinner, Chief Executive Officer, McDonald's Corporation. "Forty years ago, Jim Delligatti set the precedent for creative thinking and partnership that led to development of other well-known McDonald's menu items."

Keith Reinhard, Chairman Emeritus of DDB Worldwide, and his creative group at Needham Harper & Steers developed the famous Big Mac advertising promotion, "Twoallbeefpattiesspecialsaucelettucecheesepicklesonionsonasesameseedbun" in 1974. The jingle gained notoriety when Max Cooper, a Birmingham, Ala. McDonald's franchisee, developed a "man-on-the-street" promotion that rewarded customers who could recite the jingle correctly in four seconds or less with a free Big Mac. Those who faltered ended up in a local radio commercial in 1974 featuring the jingle "bloopers."

Today, approximately 550 million Big Mac sandwiches are sold each year in America alone. Japan sells the second most Big Mac sandwiches worldwide at approximately 150 million per year. The sandwich is sold in over 100 countries and, because of its global presence, inspired The Economist Magazine's "Big Mac Index," an annual comparison of foreign currency values against the U.S. dollar.

DID YOU KNOW ................

ACTRESS PORTIA DE ROSSI [Nell Porter in Ally McBeal] HAS HAD HER NAME CHANGED ...... AGAIN

Portia was born Amanda Lee Rogers in Horsham, Victoria, Australia .... but changed her name to Portia De Rossi for professional reasons ........ but now that she and Ellen DeGeneres are married , she has decided to change once again to Portia Lee James DeGeneres. The petition was granted on September 23, 2010.

They were married on August 16, 2008 at their Beverly Hills home, with 19 guests including their respective mothers.

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi have topped a new poll that asked American mums which celebrities they would feel most comfortable leaving their kids with.

Apparently, the married couple is set to try to conceive via in-vitro fertilization treatments and are hoping for a boy.

"[Portia] is prepared to go through [IVF] 10 times if she has to,"

UP AND COMING

THE SECRET SISTERS

BRAVE CARLO TO FACE GUNNERS


CARLO ANCELOTTI will attend Chelsea's match at home to Arsenal on Sunday despite the death of his father Giuseppi.

Ancelotti Snr passed away in Italy last night aged 87 with his son at his side. The funeral will take place on Saturday.

A statement from Chelsea read: "Everyone at Chelsea sends our deepest condolences to Carlo and his family.

"They are all in our thoughts at this time."

Assistant boss Ray Wilkins will take on press duties in Ancelotti's absence.

Hollywood legend Tony Curtis dies, aged 85

The American actor and Hollywood legend Tony Curtis has died. His family said he died peacefully in his sleep at his home in Nevada. He was 85.


The actor had performed a variety of roles including a musician in women's clothing on the run from gangsters in Some Like It Hot alongside Marilyn Munroe and Jack Lemmon.
He also played more serious roles such as an escaped convict in The Defiant, a role in which he received an acedamy award.



He was born Bernard Schwartz, in the Bronx, New York, to parents of Hungarian-Jewish origin and had started his long career in 1949. In all he appeared in more than 100 films and had made numerous television programmes.

He was married six times, his first wife, and possibly most famous, was Janet Leigh. They married in 1951 and he fathered now famous actresses Jamie Lee and Kelly Curtis.

THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW YOU WANTED

Eaten By A Bear ?


This sleeping bag is definately going to fox those mountains bears when you’re out hiking. Uncertain whether it would keep you from being a bear snack, or provoke a more amorous response. Not sure which is worse! Either way, what a cosy way to sleep. Really well made. Check the details. For more pictures, installations, and textiles visit the artist, Eiko Ishizawa’s site.

R.U.SCHITT-NGMEH ?

Australia's Next Top Model mistakenly announced wrong girl


In one of the most awkward, embarrassing moments caught on live television, the host for Australia's Next Top Model announces the wrong winner, and then has to correct herself after the runner-up gushes over her supposed win.

Sarah Murdoch, host of “Australia’s Next Top Model” told the two young ladies, who were waiting to hear who would be announced "Top Model", that the voting had been very close, going back and forth over who had the lead in the competition.

On Monday's live TV finale, Murdoch announced, after a brief and suspenseful pause, that Kelsey Martinovich, 19, was the winner.

In 1999, Sarah O'Hare who is an Australian model and actress, married Lachlan Murdoch, son of Australian media mogul Rupert Murdoch ..... hope Daddy aint too upset.

WELL ........... WATCH FOR YOURSELVES

BELIEVE IT OR DONT

Germany's First World War debt ends officially on Sunday


This Sunday will see the official financial end of the First World War as Germany pays off the last of the debt imposed on the country by the Allies.

Sunday will see the final £60 million payment of the £22 billion debt imposed on Germany for starting one of the bloodiest wars in history.

The Allies, primarily the USA, France and Britain, set the debt as part of the negotiations of The Treaty of Versailles, which was finally signed on June 28th 1919 after months of talks.

The original total set by the 'big three' was 226 billion Reichsmarks, however, it was later reduced to 132 billion, equal to £22 billion at the time. It was looked upon as compensation and punishment for causing the war which claimed the lives of around 10 million soldiers and left over 20 million injured.

Many of Europe's cities and towns were also left devastated by the war that was known as 'The Great War' and 'The War To End All Wars'.

The Federal Office for Central Services and Unresolved Property Issues in Germany said that the bond has been issued to pay the final instalment of the debt due on Sunday October 3.

Bild, Germany's best selling daily newspaper wrote, "On Sunday the last bill is due and the First World War finally, financially at least, terminates for Germany."

October 3 this year will also be the 20th anniversary of the reunification of Germany.

The debt could have been paid off earlier but Hitler refused to pay during his dictatorship and the payments were stopped again when Germany split to East and West, only resuming again after the 1990 reunification.

The money paid by Germany generally goes to pension funds and private individuals.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

WHAT A WHOPPER

The Left-Handed Whopper


1998: Burger King published a full page advertisement in USA Today announcing the introduction of a new item to their menu: a "Left-Handed Whopper" specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new whopper included the same ingredients as the original Whopper (lettuce, tomato, hamburger patty, etc.), but all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees for the benefit of their left-handed customers. The following day Burger King issued a follow-up release revealing that although the Left-Handed Whopper was a hoax, thousands of customers had gone into restaurants to request the new sandwich. Simultaneously, according to the press release, "many others requested their own 'right handed' version."

The WHOPPER is Born

The WHOPPER sandwich made its debut on March 4, 1957, when Burger King Corp. founders David Edgerton and James McLamore concocted a burger of unrivaled size and taste in their original Miami restaurant.

Boasting a quarter pound of flame-broiled beef, ripe tomatoes, crisp lettuce, creamy mayo, ketchup, onions and crunchy pickles on a toasted, grilled bun, the duo developed a name worthy of the now famous burger and its ingredients.

Throughout the past half century, the WHOPPER has been the leader of the burger pack, pioneering the concept of customization, igniting the burger wars with its 1982 “The WHOPPER Beat the BIG MAC” advertising campaign, and offering a gamut of popular, limited-time-only WHOPPER sandwiches.

WHOPPER Fun Facts

More than 1.3 billion WHOPPER sandwiches are sold each year worldwide ! 221,184 ways to mix and match ingredients means countless ways to love the WHOPPER sandwich.

Emmy award-winning host, Ellen DeGeneres in her first stand-up act, ate a WHOPPER, fries and a shake on stage.

Hungry New Year ! What day of the year holds the record for most WHOPPER sandwiches sold ? Dec. 31. It's a WHOPPER sandwich world.

You can find a Dark WHOPPER Sandwich with pepper jack cheese, black pepper ketchup and grill sauce in the UK and Ireland.

TODAY'S TOP TIP

JURY FOREMEN : Add suspense to a verdict by saying “ We the jury find the defendant … ” and then leave a two minute pause before delivering the outcome whilst another jury member plays a low roll on a kettle drum .

Peter Jackson warns shutdown of The Hobbit movies

Peter Jackson, the filmmaker behind the Lord of the Rings trilogy and currently making The Hobbit : Part 1, has warned acting unions in New Zealand that filming may cease all together if a pay wrangle does not get resolved soon.

Jackson, the films' executive producer, said it faced being shut down or moved from its location in New Zealand, the same spectacular landscapes where Lord of The Rings was filmed. Jackson is himself a native New Zealander. His screen adaptation of The Lovely Bones was also filmed in the antipodean country.

Jackson has warned in an open letter that production could very easily shift to eastern Europe.

" It feels as if we have a large Aussie cousin kicking sand in our eyes... or to put it another way, opportunists exploiting our film for their own political gain. Seriously, if the Hobbit goes east (Eastern Europe in fact) - look forward to a long, dry big-budget movie drought in this country. I have always attempted to treat my actors and crew with fairness and respect."

Actors rumoured to be waiting on the call from Jackson are Cate Blanchett, Hugo Weaving, Martin Freeman, Ian McKellen, Andy Serkis and Sylvester McCoy.

'Pan's Labyrinth' mastermind Guillermo del Toro was set to direct the adaptation of The Hobbit until June when he stepped down due to unknown reasons. Now, original Lord of the Rings movie director Peter Jackson has taken over the helm instead.

Missouri man wins lottery twice

Ernest Pullen of Bonne Terre, Missouri has done the unthinkable and has won the lottery twice. Not three months after winning $1 million, Pullen won another $2 million this month.

Ernest Pullen, 57, won $1 million with a "100 Million Dollar Blockbuster" Scratchers ticket in June. And this month, he won $2 million with a "Mega MONOPOLY" Scratchers ticket.

Pullen, a retired military man , said he considers himself to be a "lucky guy."

John Wells of the Missouri Lottery said the chances of winning $1 million in the "$100 Million Dollar Blockbuster" game are 1 in 2.28 million. The odds of winning $2 million in "Mega MONOPOLY" are about the same.

The chances of winning both? Because they're independent games, it is impossible to calculate the odds of winning, Wells said.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

FROM MANSCARA TO GUYLINER

" Men wearing makeup is like ‘a toddler having a mortgage’. It’s unnatural and likely to end in disaster ”

More than 3 million men in the United Kingdom admit to wearing make up according to a new survey about male grooming conducted by consumer research company Opinium.

The survey was carried out last month and questioned 3,813 men aged 18 and over. According to the results, one in seven of them admitted to wearing some type of make up.

Johnny Depp                                 Pete Wentz
The most popular products among men were hair dye and eye cream. Others admitted to wearing mascara, lipstick, nail varnish and face powder.

One quarter of the men said they wore make up on a weekly basis and 13% of those surveyed said that they wore make up everyday.

It might not come as a surprise to some people but the survey also found that men are much quicker at getting ready to go out than women, taking a little over twenty minutes on average, the average woman is said to take over forty minutes to get ready for a night out.

Out of the men surveyed, 20% will wear make up to their place of work and a quarter of them would feel uncomfortable going out for a drink without it.

35% of men said that they borrow their make up products from their other halves. Women said that if they needed to borrow make up they would prefer to do so from their friends or parents.

Dont forget to get in a stock of Mantyhose  for the winter lads , it could get cold out there .

Actress Gloria Stuart dead at 100

Actress Gloria Stuart, who played an elderly Rose in the 1997 film Titanic, died at home in her sleep at the age of 100.

Stuart studied drama and philosophy in college, began acting during the 1930s, and was a founding member of the Screen Actors Guild. She retired in 1946 to work as a painter and print maker, but began acting again later. At the age of 87 she became the oldest actor ever to be nominated for an Oscar. She was a best supporting actress nominee for her role as 101-year-old Rose Calvert.



That role made her a celebrity and she played several roles while in her 90s.

Kirstie Alley: "I've Lost Over 50 Pounds"

It seems as if actress Kirstie Alley is successfully tackling her weight-loss goals.

"I've lost over 50 lbs and I'm having the time of my life," the former "Cheers" star and Jenny Craig spokesperson wrote on her Twitter account.

Alley, who also says she has "30 more [pounds] to go," showed off her new look in front of the paperazzi in Hollywood recently.

In the past, the 59-year-old star has openly publicized her weight- loss struggles. She chronicled her quest to shed a few pounds on her A&E reality show, "The Big Life" and also admitted to Ladies Home Journal in May that she once tipped the scale at 230 pounds.

Kirsty Alley
"By 2008, my weight started creeping up and I said, 'Oh, I still look good at 150. I still look good at 155. I still look okay at 165. Some of my clothes still fit at 175,'" she told the magazine. "And nobody was saying 'You're fat.' I was like a bank robber who was getting away with it."

Now, with the help of her new weight-loss system, "Organic Liason," Alley is successfully losing the weight while also regaining a new sense of self-esteem.

"Back from Italy, found the love of my life....turned out it was me," she tweeted.

IT'S SUCH A PITY THERE WASN'T A MOVIE ROLE INVOLVED ...... HERE'S A FEW ACTORS WHO HAVE GAINED AND LOST A FEW POUNDS FOR THE SAKE OF THEIR ART.

click to see full size
Colin Farrell lost weight for the 2009 film "Triage," in which he portrayed a war-weary photojournalist.

George Clooney gained gobs of weight to play an out-of-shape terrorist hunter in the 2005 film "Syriana."

Robert De Niro gained a whopping 60 pounds to play aging boxer Jake La Motta in the 1980 classic "Raging Bull."

Beyonce lost about 20 pounds for her role in the 2006 hit movie "Dreamgirls." She used a liquid diet but doesn't suggest that other people follow her lead, according to People magazine.

Tom Hanks lost about 50 pounds for his role in the 2000 movie "Castaway."

Matt Damon reportedly dropped 40 pounds to play a Gulf War veteran in the 1996 movie "Courage Under Fire." More recently, he beefed up to play an FBI whistle-blower in the 2009 movie "The Informant."

Renee Zellweger gained almost 30 pounds to play the title role in the 2001 film "Bridget Jones's Diary." She shed the weight only to regain it for the 2004 sequel, " Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason."

50 Cent dropped from 214 pounds to a scrawny 160, reportedly via a liquid diet and a hard-core workout regimen. He did it to look sickly for his role in the movie "Things Fall Apart," in which he plays a cancer-stricken football player.

Charlize Theron gained 30 pounds to play convicted serial killer Aileen Wuornos in the 2003 movie "Monster." The South African actress won an Academy Award for her performance.

Christian Bale, of Batman fame, lost more than 60 pounds to play the lead in "The Machinist," which came out in 2004.

" BOOK 'EM, DANNO "

Hawaii Five-0 is an American procedural crime drama series and a re-imagining of the original 1968–1980 television series. Some have always mistaken part of the title to be the letter "O"...as this is how it's referred to. However, it's been recently explained that it has always been a zero (0) in the titles of both shows (the 5-0 referring to Hawaii being the 50th state added to the union in 1959), and that most refer to the number zero as the letter O. This new version of the series debuted on CBS, the same network that aired the original version. Like the original version, this one follows an elite unit/task force set up to fight crime in the state of Hawaii.

It premiered on Monday, September 20, 2010--exactly 42 years to the date of the original show...which premiered on September 20, 1968. This new version aired in the Eastern Time Zone at 10:00 PM (9:00 PM in the Central Time Zone).



In February 2010, it was announced that actor Daniel Dae Kim had been cast to play Chin Ho Kelly, an ex-cop trained by Steve McGarrett's father. He was the first actor cast for the remake.

Several days later, Alex O'Loughlin was cast as Steve McGarrett, but in this version Steve is the son of ex-cop Jack McGarrett (portrayed by William Sadler) after the producers decided to reboot the series and make the junior McGarrett a Navy SEAL and chose to name Steve's father Jack in honor of Jack Lord, the star of the original series.

The producers intend to pay homage to the original series by making one of his Steve's hobbies restoring his father's 1974 Mercury Marquis--as this actually is the last car original star Jack Lord used in the original series. Jack Lord's stunt-double was given the car by Lord when the original show ended in 1980, and he's had it ever since.

Producers of this new series borrowed it from him for a few scenes...at this time only in the "Pilot" episode so far. The junior McGarrett will also have a sister as well, with Taryn Manning taking the role of Mary Ann McGarrett. It was later revealed in the series that Steve and Mary have a mother who is supposedly alive after she was reported killed in a car crash.

Actress Grace Park was later cast as rookie detective Kona (nicknamed "Kono") Kalakaua, Chin Ho's cousin (Kona is the female version of the original version's Kono Kalakaua, but will use the Kono name in the remake). Also in the cast are Jean Smart as Governor Pat Jameson, Scott Caan as Dan Williams, and Masi Oka as the Coroner.

______________________________________________________________________

DID YOU KNOW

The names ' Hawaii Fifty ' and ' Hawaii Five Zero ' were originally touted as titles for the show.

The actor Tim O'Kelly was originally cast in the role of Dan Williams, but a test audience in New York was not impressed with his performance, and the part was recast with James MacArthur, who played the role for 11 of the series 12 seasons.

The character Chin Ho was the only original member of the cast to be killed [murdered] on the show, Kono was written out of the series and Danno quit.

Five-O headquarters was in Iolani Palace, the former home of Hawaiian Royalty.

McGarrett always drove a black Mercury (Not a Lincoln as some have suggested and not a Dodge as has been mistakenly written) a 1968 Park Lane Brougham, and a 1974 Grand Marquis Brougham - both of which still exist today.

BELIEVE IT OR DONT

Every hour a baby is born in China with syphilis, it is the world's fastest-growing epidemic of the disease and is fueled by men with new money from the nation's booming economy.

Syphilis was nearly eradicated in China in the 1960s after a propaganda blitz to shut down brothels which included mass screening and treatment of prostitutes. But as free-market reforms thrust the nation's economy into high gear in the 1980s, the disease rebounded at an unprecedented rate.

Monday, September 27, 2010

ANFIELD BUILT ON INDIAN BURIAL GROUND

LIVERPOOL'S poor start to the season has been traced to an ancient Arapaho curse under the Kop End at Anfield.

Roy Hodgson has endured a terrible run of results, culminating in saturdays game against Sunderland where a harmless clearance by Pepe Reina was headed back into Liverpool's goal by a ghostly warrior riding a horse and wearing a Tranmere Rovers shirt.

Hodgson said: "It was like that Poltergeist film where the whole house implodes, only Konchesky and Skrtel are much, much scarier to look at than the bloke who tears his own face off.

Anfield filled to the rafters for the game with Sunderland 
"The whole place is a nightmare to work in - you leave the training cones alone for five minutes and they've rearranged themselves into a twelve-foot-high stack in the shape of Steve Heighway. And we didn't really transfer Rieira over the summer, he's actually trapped in the telly in the canteen."

The curse was brought to the club by owners Hicks and Gillett, who bought a job lot of bone meal fertiliser that was later discovered to contain the remains of Arapaho elders killed in the Sand Creek Massacre of 1864.

Hicks said: "When the bags of fertiliser first arrived, I thought they smelled a bit sacred-y and I did wonder why there was blue ectoplasm shooting out of them. I heard a disembodied voice screaming curses at me too, but to be honest I get that a lot."

TV bullshitter Derek Acorah has visited the ground and declared the only way to lift the curse is via a series of celebrity seances, adding that he could probably have a crack at Torres' persistent injury problems if they threw in a book deal as well.

Liverpool's situation mirrors the fate of Wigan Athletic, who were relegated in 1993 after buying a set of goalkeeping nets found to contain the soul of an orphan boy who died in tragic circumstances. The curse was eventually lifted by sprinkling them with a phial of Jimmy Hill's urine.

SHUT/STABLE/DOOR/HORSE/BOLTED

The US food police are at it again. Under pressure from the feds to control the diets of all Americans, states across the nation are implementing new regulations forcibly changing the way they eat.


Cities in California and Massachusetts are banning "sugary beverages" from the vending machines of municipal and public buildings. In San Francisco, Mayor Gavin Newsom imposed this through an executive order. A New York Democrat has introduced legislation to ban the use of salt in restaurant cooking throughout the state. The cities of New York, Philadelphia, Stamford, Conn. and Montgomery County Maryland as well as the state of California, have banned trans fats from their restaurants.

San Francisco is launching a "Healthy Meals Incentive", which includes a ban on the sale of any kids' meals which come with a toy if that meal includes too much fat, sugar or salt. Santa Clara County, California, already did that earlier this year.

And remember those wonderful bake sales your child's school used to have to raise money for school-related activities like pep rallies? Well those are are a thing of the past in New York City as part of a new wellness policy.

Florida is moving forward with a plan to ban chocolate milk and other sugary drinks in a move to fight childhood obesity.


I suppose its better than nothing , loads of American parents have shown that they cant be left in charge of their own families diets ...... so........

YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED

Worm Tracks...Causes and Cures

Have you ever encountered worm tracks in a horizontal fillet when using an E-71T-1 wire? The problem can be easily fixed by switching to an E-70T-1 flat and horizontal position cored wire.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Facebook crash - 'worst in four years'

Social network giant Facebook has said its crash on Thursday was the worst in four years. Around 135 million people were affected when the site went down at 1900 BST.

It was around two-and-a-half hours before the site was back up and running again. The site, which has 550 million users worldwide, blamed a software flaw which caused huge disruption causing engineers to work on the site and shut it down whilst they did so.

The downtime would have been peak for users in the UK and Europe.

On other social network sites such Twitter, millions of users were posting blogs and comments about the Facebook's shutdown. One of Facebook's senior engineers Robert Johnson apologised on his blog:

" The key flaw that caused this outage to be so severe was an unfortunate handling of an error condition. An automated system [to fix the problem] ended up causing more damage than it fixed. Once the database had recovered and the root cause had been fixed, we slowly allowed more people back onto the site. "

Most people who tried to log on were greeted with a network error message "Network Error (dns_server_failure)"

WATCH YOUR BACK'S FOLKS

Documents reveal that Blackwater has been busy expanding its corporate reach by providing intelligence services for agencies such as the Canadian Military, Netherlands Police and corporations like Monsanto.


Blackwater is a private, mercenary army. They've been called the 'shadow army,' and most notoriously worked for the United States in Iraq, where the company courted controversy. Journalist Jeremy Scahill, who wrote a book about Blackwater, wrote an exclusive for The Nation, revealing general details of the extent of the Blackwater business operations. Scahill managed to obtain documents that, according to Scahill, show

"... entities closely linked to the private security firm Blackwater have provided intelligence, training and security services to US and foreign governments as well as several multinational corporations, including Monsanto, Chevron, the Walt Disney Company, Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines and banking giants Deutsche Bank and Barclays, according to documents obtained by The Nation. Blackwater's work for corporations and government agencies was contracted using two companies owned by Blackwater's owner and founder, Erik Prince: Total Intelligence Solutions and the Terrorism Research Center (TRC). Prince is listed as the chairman of both companies in internal company documents, which show how the web of companies functions as a highly coordinated operation."


A spokesperson for Monsanto, reached by Scahill, first denied the relationship with Blackwater, but then admitted that Monsanto had paid Total Intelligence for intelligence reports

"... about the activities of groups or individuals that could pose a risk to company personnel or operations around the world which were developed by monitoring local media reports and other publicly available information. The subject matter ranged from information regarding terrorist incidents in Asia or kidnappings in Central America to scanning the content of activist blogs and websites."


Citing the growing movement to destroy GMO crops, Ananda thought Monsanto was hoping to be able to quell dissent through infiltrating actvist groups that take direct action. Ananda concluded his article saying

"... Monsanto, by hiring a mercenary army and former CIA field agents, is deadly serious about protecting its deadly products. Yet, this contract further discredits the company. The public can now paint an even bleaker picture of the firm that brought us Agent Orange, PCBs, rBST, DDT, aspartame and, now, hitmen."



Side effects from Aspartame - http://www.sweetpoison.com/aspartame-side-effects.html

XE, (formerly Blackwater Worldwide) is one of the most dangerous entities facing the American people. It's like the enforcement arm of corporate interests that does not have to operate under the same "restrictions" that government enforcers have to operate under under. It's like a private army for TPTB.

Americans and citizens of the world should be irate ove the very existence of a company such as Blackwater and we should all stand together against the Nazi-like tactics and the anti-freedom angenda of such an evil organization."

Season five of Dexter gives us a killer in crisis

The first three episodes of the upcoming fifth season of the Showtime TV show Dexter further explores the serial killer's battle with his inner demons. Also, relationship problems plague the police department.

There is very high expectations for the next season of a drama series. Entering its fifth season at 10pm ET tonight, Showtime's Dexter has a lot of pressure on its shoulders: After Season 4's finale cliffhanger, how can the show about everyone's favourite serial killer pull off another attention-grabbing season? Who could surpass John Lithgow (last season's guest star) a scene-stealer extraordinaire?

Michael C. Hall, who plays Dexter Morgan,  won for Best Performance by an Actor In A Television Series - Drama at The Golden Globes while John Lithgow who played Arthur Mitchell, a serial killer who co-starred on Dexter last year, won a Golden Globe for Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television.

For those in the dark, Dexter is a popular TV show starring Michael C. Hall as Dexter Morgan, a blood splatter specialist who kills other serial killers. His sister Deb also works at the Miami Police Department, and in the past few seasons he entered into a romantic relationship with Rita, having a child of his own with her.



SPOILER ALERT

The first episode takes us right into the action: Dexter is shocked by seeing his wife murdered in their home's bathtub, eventually kneeling on the lawn in full view of police and muttering, "It's me." The FBI get interested in Dexter and soon he's not only fighting guilt but also maneuvering around FBI agents trying to find out if he committed the crime.

In this season, Dexter and his sister share many more emotional scenes. Funny enough, Hall and Jennifer Carpenter, who plays Deb, are married in real life, so it's interesting to see how they play off each in Dexter as platonic siblings. There are some touching moments when Deb tries to comfort Dexter when he spits venom at itself, once again blaming himself for Rita's murder. Deb has been there before -- her ex-lover was killed in the fourth season.

Another storyline developed in season five relates to the romances blossoming in the police department. Newly married Bautista and LaGuerta fight over money and bar brawls, while Quinn enters into a dalliance with a co-worker. This storyline feels rushed, and often detracts from Dexter's inner crisis, but perhaps the writers wanted some love to bloom when all is blood and guts with the serial killer.

And rest assured, fans, Dexter delivers with his kills. If you ever wanted to see the slow pleasure he gets from making his "kill room", the third episode won't disappoint.

On Quinn

He’s not like [Sergeant James] Doakes, where he just senses there’s something wrong with this guy. He approaches it analytically, as a detective, saying, “Why am I the only one asking these questions? Trinity followed a very particular MO for thirty years, and it never included killing a married woman in a bathtub and leaving a kid there. At the very least, something weird is happening here. How did Dexter and his wife become the target?” It’s not as much about [suspecting that] Dexter killed Rita. We get past that. He threatens to do something much more damaging to Dexter, which is uncover everything.

On Lumen [Julia Stiles]

A lot of people are wondering if Lumen is just going to be a replacement for Rita, and it’s so much more complicated than that, which was really exciting to me. It’s not a romantic connection, but it is a potently intimate connection. Dexter shares a unique kind of intimacy with Lumen that is not sought out, but very real and keeps her boomeranging back to him. His impulse is to explore the relationship with Lumen but that impulse is also connected to a desire to atone for what he’s done, in as much as Rita’s blood is on his hands because of the indulgent relationship he had with Trinity. Had he killed him the first chance he got, his life would still be intact.

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Thank You and Good day to you

LAST MEALS OF THE RICH AND INFAMOUS

THE LAST MEAL IS A CUSTOMARY PART OF A CONDEMNED PRISONER'S LAST DAY. THE DAY BEFORE THE APPOINTED TIME OF EXECUTION, THE PRISONER RECEIVES THE MEAL, AS WELL AS RELIGIOUS RITES, IF THEY DESIRE. AS A GENERAL RULE, INMATES MAY NOT ASK FOR ALCOHOLIC DRINK, AS IT DULLS THE SENSES.


This represents the items reported requested but does not, in all cases, represent what the prisoner actually received.


Adolf Eichmann declined a special meal, preferring a bottle of Carmel, a dry red Israeli wine. He drank about half of it.
Aileen Wuornos declined a special meal, but had a hamburger and other snack food from the prison's canteen. Later, she drank a cup of coffee.
Allen Lee Davis: 350-pound "Tiny" Davis had one lobster tail, fried potatoes, a half-pound of fried shrimp, six ounces of fried clams, half a loaf of garlic bread, and 32 ounces of A&W root beer.
Ángel Nieves Díaz declined a special meal. He was served the regular prison meal for that day, but declined that as well.
Barton Kay Kirkham: Pizzas and ice cream.
Bruno Richard Hauptmann: Celery, olives, chicken, French fries, buttered peas, cherries, and a slice of cake.[4]
Charles Peace: A hearty breakfast of eggs and a huge amount of (very salty) bacon.
Dennis Wayne Bagwell: Medium rare steak with A1 Steak Sauce, fried chicken breasts and thighs, BBQ ribs, French fries, onion rings, bacon, scrambled eggs with onions, fried potatoes with onions, sliced tomatoes, salad with ranch dressing, two hamburgers, peach pie, milk, coffee, and iced tea with real sugar.
Desmond Keith Carter declined a special meal, but had two cheeseburgers, a steak sub, and two Cokes from the prison canteen, for which he paid $4.20 from his prison account.
Dobie Gillis Williams: Twelve candy bars and some ice cream.
Donald Snyder gained over 150 pounds in an unsuccessful bid to be unable to fit in the electric chair. He requested pork chops and eggs "and plenty of 'em!".
Edward Hartman: A Greek salad, linguini with white clam sauce, cheese cake with cherry topping, garlic bread, and a Coke.
Francis Crowley: Steak and onions, french fries, apple pie, ice cream and melted ice cream.
Gary Gilmore: A hamburger, hard-boiled eggs, a baked potato, a few cups of coffee, and three shots of contraband Jack Daniel's whiskey.
Gary M. Heidnik had two slices of a cheese pizza and two cups of black coffee.
Gordon Fawcett Hambly, who suffered from indigestion, a lobster salad.
Henry Martinez Porter: Flour tortillas, T-bone steak, refried beans, tossed salad, jalapeño peppers, ice cream, and chocolate cake.
James Edward Smith requested a lump of dirt, which was denied. He settled for a small cup of yogurt.
Joan of Arc: Holy Communion.
John Albert Taylor: Pizzas "with everything."
John Allen Muhammad: Chicken with red sauce and several strawberry cakes.
John Wayne Gacy: A dozen deep-fried shrimps, a bucket of original recipe chicken from KFC, French fries, and a pound of strawberries.
Judd Gray: Chicken soup, chicken, mashed potatoes, celery, stuffed olives and ice cream.
Karl Eugene Chamberlain: A variety of fresh fruit and vegetables, cheese, lunch meat, deviled eggs, six fried cheese-stuffed jalapeños, a chef salad with ranch dressing, onion rings, french fries, a cheeseburger, two fried chicken breasts, barbecue pork rolls, an omelet, milk, and orange juice.
Karla Faye Tucker: Banana, peach, and garden salad with ranch dressing.
Lowell Lee Andrews: Two fried chickens with sides of mashed potatoes, green beans and Pie a La Mode.
Mark Dean Schwab: Fried eggs (over easy), bacon, sausage links, hash browns, buttered toast, and a quart of chocolate milk.
Martha Beck: Fried chicken, fried potatoes and salad.
Michael Bruce Ross (of Connecticut) declined a special meal, but dined on the regular prison meal of the day: turkey à la king with rice, mixed vegetables, white bread, fruit, and a beverage.
Murl Daniels: Orange juice, grape juice, fried chicken, fried oysters, chili, potatoes, Limburger cheese, bread and butter, vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup, chocolate cake and coffee.
Perry Smith and Richard Hickock: Shrimp, French fries, garlic bread, ice cream, and strawberries with whipped cream.
Odell Barnes: "Justice, Equality, World Peace." It was denied.
Peter Kürten: Wiener schnitzel, fried potatoes and a bottle of white wine. He requested seconds and received it.
Philip Workman: He declined a special meal for himself, but he asked for a large vegetarian pizza to be given to a homeless person in Nashville, Tennessee. This request was denied by the prison, but carried out by others across the country.
Rainey Bethea: Fried chicken, pork chops, mashed potatoes, pickled cucumbers, cornbread, lemon pie, and ice cream.
Ricky Ray Rector: Steak, fried chicken, cherry Kool-Aid, and a pecan pie — which he did not eat, because he said he was saving it for later.
Robert Alton Harris: A 21-piece bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken, two large Domino's pizzas (no anchovies), ice cream, a bag of jelly beans, a six-pack of Pepsi, and a pack of Camel cigarettes.
Ronnie Lee Gardner: Lobster tail, steak, apple pie, vanilla ice cream, 7-Up, and watching The Lord of the Rings film trilogy.
Ruth Snyder: She was not served a last meal, eating the prison's regular meal instead.
Saddam Hussein: The Times (UK) states that "he refused their offers of cigarettes and a last meal of chicken." Other sources state a variety of meal options.
Ted Bundy declined a special meal, so he was given the traditional steak (medium-rare), eggs (over-easy), hash browns, toast, milk, coffee, juice, butter, and jelly.
Timothy McVeigh: Two pints of mint chocolate-chip ice cream.
Velma Barfield declined a special meal, having a bag of Cheez Doodles and a can of Coca-Cola instead.
Victor Feguer requested a single olive with the pit still in.
Wesley Baker: Breaded fish, pasta marinara, green beans, orange fruit punch, bread, and milk (this was what was on the prison menu that day).
William Bonin: Two pepperoni and sausage pizzas, three servings of chocolate ice cream, and fifteen cans of Coca-Cola.

TODAY'S TOP TIP

LADIES : save money on sexy lace underwear by stapling paper doilies to your usual underwear .

COMING TO A CINEMA NEAR YOU SOON

Saturday, September 25, 2010

MUSLIM WOMEN 'MUST DRESS LIKE TOP GEAR PRESENTERS'

BRITISH Muslim women should trade their Burkas for the jeans, blazers and incongruous hair favoured by the hosts of Top Gear, it was claimed last night.

Experts say Muslim women could integrate into British society more effectively but without compromising core Islamic beliefs if they emulate the wardrobes of Jeremy Clarkson, Ian Hammond and the other one.

Professor Johnny Vegas [no relation], of the Inniscara Institute for Advanced Studies, said: "The attire of the Top Gear presenter is the sartorial embodiment of the late 20th Century middle English values that most of us still cling to like a sinking lifeboat.

"But because it's also a quite astonishingly unflattering look for a man, it means that when it's applied to a woman it should satisfy the key Islamic requirement of making you not have dirty thoughts about her."

OUR HERO'S

There are three standard types of Top Gear garb: blazer and jeans; garish patterned self-consciously untucked shirt and jeans; or the traditional Hammond outfit of some sort of horrific leather-effect jacket borrowed from a creepy uncle, worn with beads and a shit-eating grin.

Prof. Johnny Vegas [no relation]

Professor Vegas added: "This policy would have the further bonus of inhibiting Jeremy Clarkson burka-related comments on the BBC which could be complained about by about as many people as you could fit into the boot of a Fiat Punto and thus give those hacks at the Daily Mail a much easier day's work than they deserve.

"There might be some resistance from traditionalist clerics who believe that Hammond is some sort of satanic homunculus formed from bodily fluids and saltpetre to do Clarkson's bidding, if only because that's what he is.

"But we'll work around that."

INAPPROPRIATE PRODUCT PLACEMENT

Friday, September 24, 2010

THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW YOU WANTED

STAR TREK ENTERPRISE PIZZA CUTTER


Laser Etched Stainless steel blade with solid zinc-alloy chromium plated body.

" G'day possums !! "

A school in New Zealand last week held a Possum Hunt and Gala, where students shot possums and then competed in a carcass-throwing contest. Answering critics, principal Jaime Escalante said, "Colyton School is about letting kids be kids."

For the contest, kids set off in groups to shoot and kill possums. Each possum pelt was sold as part of the school fundraising event. Principal Escalante told the paper before the contest, "There is no official catchment area. So the possums can be shot anywhere." What's weird about a bunch of kids running around with guns shooting possums ?"

Principal Escalante released a statement, saying:

Mr Escalante
"In a small rural district rocked by tragedy in recent months the Possum Hunt and Gala was just what we needed. The positive response from the community was fantastic and served to bring the school and community closer together."

"Beyond the fund-raising that took place the real positives of this event were that children got to engage with the outdoors, learned that guns are tools and not toys and gained a greater understanding of what it means to be humane in the destruction of pests."

"They learnt that shooting is a far better death for a possum than traps or poison. This type of contextual learning is far more valuable than reading this stuff from books."

TODAYS JOKE

God said, ‘Adam, I Want you to do Something for Me.’

Adam said, ‘Gladly, Lord, what do You Want me to do?’

God said, ‘Go down Into that valley.’

Adam said, ‘What’s a Valley?’

God explained it to Him. Then God said, ‘Cross the river.’

Adam said, ‘What’s a River?’

God explained that To him, and then said, ‘Go over to the hill….’

Adam said, ‘What is a Hill?’

So, God explained to Adam what a hill was. He told Adam, ‘On
The other side of the Hill you will find a Cave.’

Adam said, ‘What’s a Cave?’ After God explained,
He said, ‘In the cave You will find a woman.’

Adam said, ‘What’s a Woman?’ So God explained
That to him, too.

Then, God said, ‘I Want you to Reproduce.’

Adam said, ‘How do I do that?’ God first said (under His breath), ‘Geez…..’

And then, just like Everything else, God Explained that to Adam, as well.

So, Adam goes down Into the valley, Across the river, and Over the hill, into the
Cave, and finds the Woman.

Then, in about five Minutes, he was back.

God, His patience Wearing thin, said Angrily, ‘What is it Now?’

And Adam said….

*

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‘What’s a headache?’

The slapstick side to Islamic terrorism

In a climactic scene in Chris Morris’s debut feature-length movie Four Lions, armed police ask aspiring jihadist Waj (Kayvan Novak aka The Fonejacker), who is about to blow up a kebab shop, what his demands are. ‘Um, we don’t have any demands’, he replies, gormlessly.

In a single stroke, Morris – and his fellow writers, Jesse Armstrong and Sam Bain of Peep Show fame – rip apart the supposed political pretensions of deluded jihadists and also have a sly cackle at the Islamists’ expense. We should expect nothing less from three of the sharpest, most forensic comedy minds in Britain, and, on an observational level at least, Four Lions works very well.



The film opens with a botched attempt to record a martyrdom video, which is deeply absurdist and also captures the narcissistic degeneracy of jihadism in all its non-glory. Omar (Riz Ahmed) is a family man who functions as the ‘brains’ of the dunce outfit. He is outwardly confident but emotionally brittle and deeply confused. He receives an email about attending an ‘uncle’s wedding’ in Pakistan – jihadist code for attending a Taliban training camp. Once there, he finds himself way out of his depth and accidentally fires a missile launcher in the wrong direction, destroying a nearby Taliban camp.

Disgraced, Omar is sent packing back to Sheffield where he starts to hatch murderous plans with hot-headed white convert Barry (Nigel Lindsay), who wants to bomb mosques in order to make Muslims rise up, and Fessal (Adeel Akhtar), a complete child clown who looks more like Badly Drawn Boy than a radical bomber boy. Along the way they hook up with Hassan (Arsher Ali), a Tupac-loving rapper who wears a bomb belt made of party-poppers (‘It was the gesture that messed ya!’).

No one could accuse Four Lions of glorifying suicide bombers simply to make some sort of ‘shock jock’ statement. In fact, Morris’s quieter, less bombastic direction furnishes the film with an oddly moving quality. As we are essentially looking at the world through the bombers’ eyes, an unsettlingly atomistic and lonely tone creeps into the film. Panning shots of Britain’s urban landscape – often with no people in sight – give the impression of a society with no real human bonds. When the foursome decide to launch their suicide attacks as part of a fancy-dress marathon run, the collision between other runners, well-meaning shop staff, Omar’s affable work pal and the apocalyptic mindset that the four have created makes for uneasy but enthralling viewing. Riz Ahmed, who plays Omar, has a similar intensity to Robert Carlyle and is particularly brilliant as a man drowning in his own confusion ........... HERE'S A LINK ---> http://tvshack.cc/movies/Four_Lions__2010_/ .....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................


You may also like IN THE LOOP ---> ; http://tvshack.cc/movies/In_the_Loop__2009_/

UK POLICE HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO

Prof Johnny Vegas [no relation] Head of research
at the Inniscara Institute for Advanced Studies
UK police chiefs have decided that if they let crime get bad enough some sort of masked hero is bound to intervene.

As figures revealed the police are increasingly behaving as if they are scared to leave the station, senior officers have formally declared their intention to let gangs, crooks and punks rule the streets while honest, law-abiding citizens cower in their homes, thereby creating the ideal conditions for superhero activity.

Chief Inspector of Constabulary, Sir Roy Hobbs, said: "The more like a Gotham City or Mega City One-type dystopia Britain's cities become, the more likely it is that a flamboyant vigilante will sort it all out.

"Such a hero would, most importantly, be working on an unpaid basis. So they wouldn't cost the taxpayer a penny in these straightened times.

"If we just let the criminals get on with it, sooner or later they'll murder the right person's parents and that person will create an effective alter ego, probably themed around some sort of animal that frightened them as a child.

"We've bought a big spotlight and a special phone."

However Professor Johnny Vegas, of the Institute for Advanced Studies, believes modern Britain is a less than ideal context for super-heroic activity. He said: "For starters there's no quality villains. It's mainly just dickheads and drunk people."

Householder Tom Logan thought about becoming a masked vigilante after some local teenager drove a stolen Twingo into his porch. He said: "The police didn't want to know. I thought, enough's enough.

"I decided that I was going to call my alter-ego 'The Horse', becauses horses are strong and powerful and easy to draw in silhouette, with is good for costumes.

"I designed the logo but that's as far as I got. Since then I've been a bit busy at work."

How to Turn Off Google Instant Search

While some are actually kind of excited about the new Google Instant, if you don't like the distraction of as-you-type, predictive search results and filtering, it's extremely easy to turn off. You can either toggle it on or off to the right of the search box, or you can head to your Google search settings, scroll to the Google Instant section, and select Do not use Google Instant. Then simply hit the Save Preferences at the bottom of the page.

French club Levallois SC to name stadium after Didier Drogba

Chelsea striker played for club at youth level...

Chelsea striker Didier Drogba will have the honour of seeing a stadium named after him in France, according RMC.

The French fourth division club Levallois Sporting has announced that its new stadium will be named after Didier Drogba during the inauguration ceremony on September 29 in the town of Levallois-Perret near Paris.

Drogba had played youth football with Levallois when he was 15, before moving to Le Mans in 1997.


The club said Drogba would be present at the ceremony.


Thursday, September 23, 2010

AN IRISH JOKE

Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1,826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night .....

Robbie Williams - Tw@

Robbie Williams has revealed he blew his chances with pop siren Kylie Minogue - after he drunkenly laughed at her naked.

The pair teamed up to film the video for hit single Kids during which she stripped for the final scenes.

But Williams has admitted in new book You Know Me how the shock of seeing the woman he had fancied for years undressing made him burst into laughter and left her "offended".



In the book, which is out today and looks back at his 20-year pop career, Williams explained he had a crush on Minogue since her days on Neighbours in the late 1980s.

But after years of worshipping her from afar, he said he became "a bit of a teenage boy" in her presence during the shoot.

"I couldn't figure out why my banter wouldn't work, why my natural ability to just be myself went awry," he said.

Williams began drinking Drambuie liqueur "to get some Dutch courage, but it backfired", the singer recalled.

He had not been told that the scene would feature her taking off a robe to reveal she was wearing nothing but a tiny G-string.

"I just burst out laughing. Which I don't think went down well with Kylie," Williams admitted.

"I may have offended her too, because she must have felt vulnerable too, being naked on set, and being naked in front of me."

He added: "I think that any chance of anything disappeared when I laughed at her. Perhaps she likes being naked, but she probably doesn't enjoy being laughed at by some Stokie idiot."

In the book, published by Ebury Press and co-written by Chris Heath, Williams says he has been too embarrassed to ever bring the incident up since. But he said he hoped that mentioning it in the book would go "some way" to serving as an apology.

Liverpool boss Hodgson apologises after Cup humiliation


As I sit at my desk, staring out the window over the City of Cork ........ I think of Liverpool , the sweeping majesty of her spires and domes , the regal purity of the Mersey flowing by .... the mighty snow clad crest of Mount Killamanforhisgiro in the backround ....... and I secretly chuckle inside.

17,000 supporters of The Mighty Reds turned up last night to see Northampton put Liverpool out of the Carling Cup .... will this season end in tears for the scousers ? .......... we can but hope.

On any given day , it must be pretty awful to be a scouser ..... but this morning it must be even worse , following on from Sunday's 3-2 Premier League loss to Manchester United , the Reds were looking forward to the boost of confidence they would receive by getting to the 4th round of the Carling Cup.
With only 5 points from 5 games in the Barclays Premiership so far this season , the Mighty Reds should have strolled past League 2 side Northampton ..... Manager Roy Hodgson said " the players selected should have been good enough to beat the lowest-ranked team left in the competition "

"These are players brought to the club, some of them very expensive with big reputations - maybe I don't know them well enough yet, certainly they haven't done themselves too many favours in my eyes," he said.

"When you've got a squad with players who have come here for big money, this was a chance for them to show they're great players - unfortunately, and full credit to Northampton, we weren't good enough to beat them."

CWYING



Hodgson said it was only in the last 15 minutes of extra time, when they were trailing 2-1, that the team showed any fighting spirit.

"When it goes to penalties and you are at home and in front of the Kop your hope is that at least the players will have the composure and confidence to win the penalty shoot-out, but we didn't," he said.

Khalid Askri - The Most Stupid Goalkeeper Ever

Pigeons beat rural broadband in race

Pigeons were able to deliver information faster than rural broadband in a 120 kilometre race staged in the UK on September 16.

Ten pigeons, carrying USB keys, were released from a Yorkshire farm at the same time a five-minute (300MB) video upload was started.

The pigeons reached their Skegness destination in one hour and fifteen minutes, when only 24 per cent of the file had been uploaded.

I WOULD ONLY USE ADIDAS PROSTITUTES, SAYS BECKHAM


David Beckham has angrily denied claims he slept with a prostitute insisting he could only ever be unfaithful to his wife with a contractually branded tart.

The England superstar has been hit by accusations he enjoyed a triangulated romp in a New York hotel without the consent of Adidas, Motorola or David Beckham by Giorgio Armani.

Beckham has now launched a legal action against a US magazine, insisting he has never entered into a sexual intercourse arrangement with any woman other than his officially sponsored wife.

A source close to the 35 year-old LA Galaxy marketing strategy said: "I just can't see David having sex with a prostitute, because the prostitute would have to pay him for endorsing her vulva.

"And even then there would have to lengthy consultations with his management team about which holes were used, a watertight penetration contract and Adidas would insist on having lots of complex insurance policies in case he falls off half way through and does his cruciate ligament again.

"And of course there would also have to be a five year global copyright agreement covering any grainy, CCTV images of his naked, heaving buttocks."

The source added: "I can see him doing a TV ad for Adidas where he's at a trendy sex party with lots of other celebrities in a Manhattan loft.

"And I'm sure he would do something with Motorola if they ever get round to releasing their 4G bluetooth prostitute.

"But it would be very tasteful. All black and white and shimmering thighs with a slogan like 'Intercourse. Everywhere."

BELIEVE IT OR DONT

More Italians pray to the Madonna , St Anthony , St Joseph , St Catherine of Bologna and St Peter than they do to Jesus Christ.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

TODAY'S TOP TIP

WOMEN IN YOUR 40'S : Get those old 70's bell-bottoms from the wardrobe , cut the legs off and sew them back on upside down . They will then fit you once more .

ONE NIGHT IN TOKYO

A difficult week for socialite Paris Hilton has just become even more challenging after authorities at Narita International Airport in Japan have refused her entry into the country.

Hilton, 29 was interviewed for six hours yesterday (Tuesday) and faced further questions today. Earlier, on Monday she had pleaded guilty to cocaine possession after police said that a bag of cocaine had fallen out of her purse in a Las Vegas hotel. She received a one-year suspended sentence after pleading guilty to the charges in a Las Vegas court.

Ms Hilton was forced to book into a budget hotel near the airport whilst her sister went on to a five star suite in town. The pair had flown to the country on a business trip to promote their fashion and perfume lines.

NEW MEMBER OF STAFF

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF BLOGGERLAND ... I WOULD LIKE TO FORMALLY WELCOME TO THE OFFICES OF BLOGGERMAN THIS WEEK A WOMAN THAT MAY VERY WELL BE THE EPITOME OF QUALITY JOUNALISM AS WE KNOW IT TODAY.

Rachel Underwood Schitt-Ngmeh [pronounced Shi-t'eng-mie / 鶤雞 ] was born in Pennsylvania in the late seventies , but dont let her youth deflect from her accomplishment's to date.
She graduated from Saegertown High School in Saegertown, Pennsylvania in 1994 and continued her studies at the University of Denver studying Modern Film. In 1997 she earned her B.A. degree in The movies of Ali MacGraw, cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa and went on to study with such luminaries as Pat Morita and Jean Claude Van Damme.



Rachel married her childhood sweetheart, Mr Edward Ngmeh in the fall of 1999 and they moved to Chicago where Chase Debahll sniffed her out. Her remit within these hallowed halls will be to bring to you the eccentric , the far-out, the freakish, the outlandish, the rediculous and the bizarre ...... she will also be serving up the gossip.

I'M SURE YOU WILL ALL JOIN WITH ME IN WELCOMING THE NEW KID IN TOWN ......... MRS R.U.SCHITT-NGMEH

DID YOU KNOW ...... Rachel has a younger sister named Isabella who is married to the notorious east european gangster Andreus Eunott , Mrs I.Schitt-Eunott is currently awaiting the release of he husband from the notorious Russian gulag Sevvostlag.

LOL

Commonwealth Games 2010 Crisis

MILLIONS TO WATCH COMMONWEALTH GAMES TO SEE IF SOMETHING ELSE COLLAPSES

Organisers had feared mass indifference to the world's most irrelevant sporting spectacular but now anticipate record figures based on the treacherous state of the multi-hundred pound facilities.



Some of the best action is expected to be in the velodrome, which was completed in a personal best of just under two hours by a gang of Filipino crack addicts and is really just of a lot of old magazines piled precariously on top of each other.

Big ticket athletes have pulled out of the Commonwealth Games, Scotland has delayed its departure to New Delhi and the New Zealand swimming team is seeking a "Plan B" should India's showcase event be cancelled. Skip related content

Instead, the Games have already descended into farce with some countries giving an ultimatum of a few days to get the Games ready or face the prospect of national withdrawals from an event which is so far only showcasing Indian traveller-tale cliches of filth, chaos and corruption.

A portion of false ceiling in the weightlifting venue caved in today, a day after the collapse of a footbridge by the main stadium, injuring 27 workers, which highlighted problems facing organisers as they race to complete work.



Nobody was injured at the weightlifting venue.

There have been reports of stray dogs, stagnant water, workers urinating in public, and human faeces being found at the unfinished village where the athletes will live.

Stagnant pools of water, breeding grounds for dengue mosquitoes, lie around and a Reuters reporter said homeless people were living outside the main stadium.

An epidemic of Dengue, in part blamed on stagnant water around unfinished construction sites, has hit Delhi and thousands of people are being treated in hospital.

Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh said "Given that about 80 people die in India whenever someone opens a cupboard, if they can keep the Commonwealth Games death toll to under 3000 it should be regarded as an unqualified success."

Stargate Universe Season Two [28th Sept]


SPOILER ALERT

1. The Lucian Alliance Is Here To Stay

In last spring’s season finale this gang of leather-clad criminals from the Milky Way galaxy managed to gate onto Destiny and hold the crew hostage. Led by the merciless Kiva, the Lucian Alliance hopes to take control of the ship and unlock its secrets for themselves. In addition to Varro (actor Mike Dopud, who appeared in the last three episodes of Season One) as a recurring character, look for two more recurring faces among the Alliance: Simeon (Robert Knepper), a conniving soldier in whom Rush may have met his match, and Ginn (Julie McNiven), a young, female scientist.

The big question is just how (or whether) our crew can coexist with an enemy who stormed the ship and killed people they knew and loved. Who will control the ship? Will the group that’s not in power have a share of food, water, and medical attention? Will they cooperate on missions? Will they take orders from whichever group is in control?

2. Love Is In The Air

In addition to the growth of established relationships, such as Matt and Chloe, bringing new blood onto the ship means new possibilities for romance. Eli will begin a relationship with Ginn, a fellow science nerd who takes a liking to him (as seen in the new Syfy trailer). The lovely Dr. Amanda Perry (actress Kathleen Munroe, first seen in “Sabotage”) will make another visit (the trailer shows a kiss between her and Nicholas Rush). And T.J. will also reportedly find a new shoulder to lean on. … After watching the season finale, our bets are on the muscle-bound yet sensitive Alliance operative, Varro.

3. Rush Will Find Destiny‘s Bridge …

… very early in the season, and he won’t tell anyone — at least at first. In the trailer Rush appears to still be seeing visions of his late wife, Gloria, who appeared to him in a lucid dream while he was plugged into the ship’s chair interface (“Human”). Is she a manifestation of his subconscious, a sign of a mental break, or perhaps the ship herself seeking to communicate?



Rush finds the bridge and, Gloria suggests, the key to unlocking Destiny‘s control systems. In the second episode of the season he’ll decide to deliberately alter the ship’s course, taking them to a planet where the Stargate has been locked out of Destiny‘s reach. Rush decides to keep it to himself that he now can control the ship … and when the others do find out, he will be clearly holding all the cards when it comes to Destiny.

4. Metamorphosis

The trailer shows Chloe undergoing a change, which seems to affect her both physically and mentally. This could be a stand-alone infection story (new info on “Cloverdale” indicates this sort of infection), or it could be a result of her captivity by the “Space” aliens — hinted at when she recognized that alien language on the computer console in “Lost.” The mental change might also be totally separate from the ugly skin condition.

Are the aliens deliberately trying to transform her into something? A hybrid? A weapon? A sleeper agent? An intermediary for communication? Look for some unexpected insights into Rush’s work, obvious complications with her relationship with Matt, and a wicked skin condition that even prescription-strength bacitracin can’t cure.

5. Less Infighting, More Cooperation

– At least as far as that is possible on a show with shifting alliances, an uncertain command structure, and now bad guys living and working alongside us. Definitely expect some of our favorites to come to blows, at least early on in the year. But after a discovery is made (see below), the crew will have common cause to come together much more than they have been to date.

“We kind of establish a common goal, a mission, so that we’re not all focused on going home, but rather going forward,” executive producerRobert C. Cooper said at Comic-Con (via Airlock Alpha). “We may not ever get home, but being here is really, really cool. So let’s stop all this bickering and start trying to work together.”



6. A New Mission

This season the reluctant crew of Destiny will discover just what the ship’s ultimate purpose is — where it is going, and why the Ancients launched it so many eons ago. This will shift much of the focus away from the pressing desire to simply leave the ship and go home.

This is obviously a HUGE step forward in the show’s mythology. Just what the big secret is, we have no idea. (Well, OK, we have a few wild ideas, but no solid info.) But we do know that this discovery comes earlier, rather than later in the season. And we also know that another big piece of the SGU mythology will appear in episode #3: the seeder ships, sent ahead of Destiny by the Ancients to place Stargates on various planets. Destiny catches up with one of its companion vessels, presumably allowing our crew to go aboard. Just what secrets does it hold about why the Ancients launched these ships many millions of years ago?