Sunday, July 31, 2011

HOW TO SCARE THE PUBLIC ..... WITH LIES

TODAYS JOKE


Well that will be the first and last time I use my Sean Connery accent to ask my girlfriend to sit on my face.



I'll get me clean wipes !

'Spartacus: Vengeance' ........ Jan 2012

Rumour: A “beautiful [and] vicious” female gladiator will be maiming the men of the arena in Spartacus: Vengeance. Casting news and plot details on the new female gladiator are still top secret, but we’re told, “She’s a passionate competitor—both on the battlefield and in the bedroom.”

First there was 'Blood and Sand', then there was the prequel 'Gods of the Arena' and next there will be 'Vengeance'. Yes, Season 2 of Spartacus will arrive on our screens in Jan 2012 and will follow our hero as he builds an army of slaves to take on the might of the Roman Empire itself.

THE STORY

Spartacus: Blood and Sand is a Starz television series that premiered on January 22, 2010. The series is inspired by the historical figure of Spartacus (played by Andy Whitfield), a Thracian gladiator who from 73 to 71 BC led a major slave uprising against the Roman Republic.

The show was initially renewed for a second season but production was delayed because Whitfield was diagnosed with early-stage non-Hodgkin lymphoma. Due to the delay, Starz produced a six-episode prequel series, entitled Spartacus: Gods of the Arena. Pre-production of season 2 began following the announcement that Whitfield was cancer free, however his cancer recurred. Starz has since replaced Whitfield with actor Liam McIntyre, who will play Spartacus for season two.

RETURNING FOR SEASON 2 [Click for full size]

NOT RETURNING FOR SEASON 2 [Click for full size]

Spartacus series creator Steven S. DeKnight said in an interview, There are a "couple of very strong candidates" for the role of Spartacus, and season two should begin production in New Zealand in April [2011]. DeKnight added that the Spartacus producers and Starz executives weren't always sure they would go forward without Andy Whitfield, who they said had brought "gravity and heart" to the role of the famous warrior. "It's unheard of to recast your titular character in a television show, and we did a lot of soul searching about whether we even wanted to try", DeKnight said. "And then Andy [Whitfield] said, 'I really think the show should go forward without me. I give you the blessing. I want this story told.'"

Official:Torres has now won more trophies at Chelsea than he did with Liverpool

Fernando Torres's scriptwriter has finally earned his money. The Spaniard's ineffective form in pre-season was jettisoned in timely fashion here as Chelsea bade farewell to the far east with victory, the Barclays Asia Trophy and a striker looking more like his old self. The goal guided in with the Spaniard's first touch just before the hour-mark was instinctively pilfered and hardly celebrated. It was also hugely welcome.



The Spaniard sidefooted Florent Malouda's low shot past Shay Given after being introduced just before the hour mark to add to Josh McEachran's early opener on Saturday.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

LOL

THE INTERWEB IS NOT FOR EVERYONE

Monroe or Einstein ?

You probably know whether or not you're near-sighted, but some people get so used to seeing things a certain way that they ignore a vision problem, squint a lot, and end up with unnecessary eye strain at the computer.

This double-image cuts straight to the point:

Normal vision people will see Einstein.

Short sighted people will see Marilyn Monroe.

Sick minded people will see Marilyn with a moustache.

If you aren't near-sighted and you want to see the image how near-sighted folks do, you can squint or just walk away from your computer until you see Monroe.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

TRY TO TOUCH HIS NOSE



Click here to play -> http://www.selfcontrolfreak.com/slaan.html

Big Lebowski bungalow up for sale - for $2.3million

If you've dreamed of living like The Dude from Big Lebowski since 1998 - here's your chance.
The one-bedroom bungalow Jeff Bridges' character lived in for Joel and Ethan Coen's cult film is on the market.

But with a nearly $2.3million price tag for the Venice, California property, it's unlikely El Duderino himself would have scrounged up the cash to crash there.


The six one-bedroom cottages at 606-608 Venezia Avenue are being sold as a group by local Bulldog Realtors.


According to the listing, The Big Lebowski Compound's 'historic' one bedroom cottages sit on 10,628 sq ft lot, blocks to the beach and Abbot Kinney.

But the property has had a major facelift since the film, helping the owners, who live out of town, to push up the asking price to $2.295million.

In 2005, the compound underwent major renovations, including new sewer line and roofing.

The property features 'spacious side-yards and a lushly landscaped gated courtyard,' according to listing agent Winston Cenac.


He told L.A. Weekly: 'It's a gorgeous little compound. Some of the tenants are decorators, so on the inside, the units just look primo.'

But could The Dude afford it?

'There's no way,' he said. 'In the movie the whole compound is very rundown.'

SPURS TRANSFER DEPT RUNNING ‘BUY 2 GET ONE FREE’ DEAL

If one Premiership side has more potential for comedy than Tottenham I’ve yet to see the. Spurs have a large squad stacked to the rafters with players who quite frankly have been dropping in value for an entire season.

Spurs fans are begging in the streets to be told a decent signing is on the cards but until some of the existing superstars are found new homes this looks highly unlikely.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

FOOTBALL FANS FROM LIVERPOOL, DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK

FOR EVERYONE ELSE

CLICK HERE FOR A RIGHT OL' GIGGLE - > http://evertontime.com/

UNDERWORLD AWAKENING


Kate Beckinsale, star of the first two films, returns in her lead role as the vampire warrioress Selene, who escapes imprisonment to find herself in a world where humans have discovered the existence of both Vampire and Lycan clans, and are conducting an all-out war to eradicate both immortal species.

Underworld Awakening" brings a stunning new dimension to the epic battle between Vampires and Lycans, as the first film in the franchise to shoot in 3D.

Kate Beckinsale, Stephen Rea, Michael Ealy, Theo James, India Eisley, Charles Dance

Release Date: January 20, 2012 (3D/2D theaters)

'The Walking Dead': Showrunner Frank Darabont Stepping Down ?

At last weekend's Comic-Con panel, executive producer Frank Darabont promised that the season picks up just five minutes after the end, so there's none of what he called "this six months later crap." This season finds them pretty much constantly on the run - including an epic sequence where they have to cross a zombie-infested highway - with even the small safety net of last year's camp gone. They will eventually reach a minor safe haven at Herschel's farm, which will introduce a bunch of new characters, but it sounds like the season might essentially be one long chase scene.


Sources confirmed to The Hollywood Reporter that Darabont, the creator, executive producer and director of the zombie hit based on the comics by Robert Kirkman, is stepping down as showrunner. Whether the former feature film director will stay on with the series remains unclear.

Darabont gave no indication that he was considering stepping down during his panel at Comic-Con, noting that conversations were currently under way to cast three major roles for the upcoming second season.

In late May, however, Darabont told THR that he feared budget cuts would hurt the series but he had no other creative complaints at the time.

“Creatively I have no complaints thus far,” Darabont said at the time. “But I believe if they do move ahead with what they’re talking about [with budget cuts], it will affect the show creatively ... in a negative way. Which just strikes me as odd. If you have an asset, why would you punish it?”

Season 2 of The Walking Dead premieres Sunday, October 16th.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

FOR ANYONE WHO KNEW MY MOTHER

She would have loved this [ Voice Coach/Lecturer Cork School of Music and an Operatic soprano singer in her own right ]



SOME OF MY MOTHERS STUDENTS: http://www.operadomani.net/en/content/majella-cullagh
                                                             http://www.petermcauliffesings.com/
                                                            http://www.co-opera-co.org/html/mary_hegarty.html

OUCH !


Media tycoon Rupert Murdock would like to express his appreciation for all the messages of condolence left by family and friends ....... on Amy Winehouse's phone.

Monday, July 25, 2011

TODAYS JOKE


I've got a pair of young and rather lovely lesbians living next to me
and recently for my birthday they bought me a splendid Rolex,

I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.


I'll get me binoculars !

MEMORIES OF DEPECHE MODE

PROPER JOURNALISM


Charlie Brooker
guardian.co.uk, Sunday 24 July 2011 22.07 BST


I went to bed in a terrible world and awoke inside a worse one. At the time of writing, details of the Norwegian atrocity are still emerging, although the identity of the perpetrator has now been confirmed and his motivation seems increasingly clear: a far-right anti-Muslim extremist who despised the ruling party.

Presumably he wanted to make a name for himself, which is why I won't identify him. His name deserves to be forgotten. Discarded. Deleted. Labels like "madman", "monster", or "maniac" won't do, either. There's a perverse glorification in terms like that. If the media's going to call him anything, it should call him pathetic; a nothing.

On Friday night's news, they were calling him something else. He was a suspected terror cell with probable links to al-Qaida. Countless security experts queued up to tell me so. This has all the hallmarks of an al-Qaidaattack, they said. Watching at home, my gut feeling was that that didn't add up. Why Norway? And why was it aimed so specifically at one political party? But hey, they're the experts. They're sitting there behind a caption with the word "EXPERT" on it. Every few minutes the anchor would ask, "What kind of picture is emerging?" or "What sense are you getting of who might be responsible?" and every few minutes they explained this was "almost certainly" the work of a highly-organised Islamist cell.

In the aftermath of the initial bombing, they proceeded to wrestle with the one key question: why do Muslims hate Norway? Luckily, the experts were on hand to expertly share their expert solutions to plug this apparent plot hole in the ongoing news narrative.

Why do Muslims hate Norway? There had to be a reason.

Norway was targeted because of its role in Afghanistan. Norway was targeted because Norwegian authorities had recently charged an extremist Muslim cleric. Norway was targeted because one of its newspapers had reprinted the controversial Danish cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad.

Norway was targeted because, compared to the US and UK, it is a "soft target" – in other words, they targeted it because no one expected them to.

When it became apparent that a shooting was under way on Utoya island, the security experts upgraded their appraisal. This was no longer a Bali-style al-Qaida bombing, but a Mumbai-style al-Qaida massacre. On and on went the conjecture, on television, and in online newspapers, including this one. Meanwhile, on Twitter, word was quickly spreading that, according to eyewitnesses, the shooter on the island was a blond man who spoke Norwegian. At this point I decided my initial gut reservations about al-Qaida had probably been well founded. But who was I to contradict the security experts? A blond Norwegian gunman doesn't fit the traditional profile, they said, so maybe we'll need to reassess . . . but let's not forget that al-Qaida have been making efforts to actively recruit "native" extremists: white folk who don't arouse suspicion. So it's probably still the Muslims.

Soon, the front page of Saturday's Sun was rolling off the presses. "Al-Qaeda" Massacre: NORWAY'S 9/11 – the weasel quotes around the phrase "Al Qaeda" deemed sufficient to protect the paper from charges of jumping to conclusions.

By the time I went to bed, it had become clear to anyone within glancing distance of the internet that this had more in common with the 1995 Oklahoma bombing or the 1999 London nail-bombing campaign than the more recent horrors of al-Qaida.

While I slept, the bodycount continued to rise, reaching catastrophic proportions by the morning. The next morning I switched on the news and the al-Qaida talk had been largely dispensed with, and the pundits were now experts on far-right extremism, as though they'd been on a course and qualified for a diploma overnight.

Some remained scarily defiant in the face of the new unfolding reality. On Saturday morning I saw a Fox News anchor tell former US diplomat John Bolton that Norwegian police were saying this appeared to be an Oklahoma-style attack, then ask him how that squared with his earlier assessment that al-Qaida were involved. He was sceptical. It was still too early to leap to conclusions, he said. We should wait for all the facts before rushing to judgment. In other words: assume it's the Muslims until it starts to look like it isn't – at which point, continue to assume it's them anyway.

If anyone reading this runs a news channel, please, don't clog the airwaves with fact-free conjecture unless you're going to replace the word "expert" with "guesser" and the word "speculate" with "guess", so it'll be absolutely clear that when the anchor asks the expert to speculate, they're actually just asking a guesser to guess. Also, choose better guessers. Your guessers were terrible, like toddlers hypothesising how a helicopter works. I don't know anything about international terrorism, but even I outguessed them.

As more information regarding the identity of the terrorist responsible for the massacre comes to light, articles attempting to explain his motives are starting to appear online. And beneath them are comments from readers, largely expressing outrage and horror. But there are a disturbing number that start, "What this lunatic did was awful, but . . ."

These "but" commenters then go on to discuss immigration, often with reference to a shaky Muslim-baiting story they've half-remembered from the press. So despite this being a story about an anti-Muslim extremist killing Norwegians who weren't Muslim, they've managed to find a way to keep the finger of blame pointing at the Muslims, thereby following a narrative lead they've been fed for years, from the overall depiction of terrorism as an almost exclusively Islamic pursuit, outlined by "security experts" quick to see al-Qaida tentacles everywhere, to the fabricated tabloid fairytales about "Muslim-only loos" or local councils "banning Christmas".

We're in a frightening place. Guesswork won't lead us to safety.

NICE WATCH, WILL SWAP FOR 4 BEDROOMED HOUSE IN DES MOINE

Click here to view --> http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=330591109342

Big BOOOOOOOO to Ebay for taking down the page, but nevermind ... here is a pic of it for you to enjoy,

CLICK TO VIEW FULL SIZE

MINX OR JINX ?

Uruaguay 3 - Paraguay 0


THE PARAGUAYAN JINX
LARISSA RIQUELME
Diego Forlán scored twice and Luis Suárez once as Uruguay beat Paraguay to be crowned South America champions for a record 15th time. Paraguay ran out of luck at the Copa América where they went five straight matches without a victory before reaching the final.


Larissa Riquelme

The 26-year-old shot to fame during the 2010 World Cup for saying she'd show off her famous curves if her team went the distance in South Africa, the lingerie model still stripped naked despite Paraguay losing to Spain in the quarter-finals of the World Cup last year

This summer the model has promised a naked streak through the capital city of Asuncion if Paraguay manage to capture the grand prize in South American football.

Does anyone but her agent really care ?

GOT SOME TIME ON YOUR HANDS ?

Click here -> http://pleasewait.co.uk/

How NOT to make friends and influence people

Mario Balotelli's remarkable talent for finding new ways to embroil himself in controversy resurfaced on Manchester City's pre-season trip to Los Angeles when the Italian was substituted in disgrace only 30 minutes into a friendly against LA Galaxy.

Balotelli then became involved in a touchline row with his manager, Roberto Mancini, and angrily threw a water bottle on to the pitch after taking his seat among the substitutes.



The striker had gone clean through on goal a few minutes earlier but, rather than finishing off an easy chance, he turned full circle, flicking the ball behind his legs and trying to score with a backheel. It was a remarkable act of self-indulgence and, as the ball went wide, several of his team-mates, particularly Edin Dzeko, could be seen remonstrating with him.

Balotelli had opened the scoring from the penalty spot but Mancini was so incensed with the showboating that he immediately signalled for James Milner to replace the former Internazionale striker. The manager studiously ignored Balotelli as he was substituted only for the player to confront him and demand to know why he had been replaced. Mancini rose to his feet and started to berate him angrily before Balotelli stalked off.

"I hope this is a lesson for him," said Mancini, who hopes a deal for the Atlético Madrid striker, Sergio Agüero, can be done in the next four or five days. "In football you always need to be professional, always serious and in this moment he wasn't professional. He needs to understand his behaviour has to be good in every game – not just in a final or a semi-final but every game.

Mancini's attitude towards the 20-year-old reinforces the sense of a manager who is not going to indulge anyone in his determination this season to have a side with genuine aspirations of challenging for the major honours. Balotelli scored 10 goals in 28 appearances after signing for £25m last summer, but he also picked up 11 yellow cards and two reds and will be suspended for the team's first three Champions League games because of the sending-off against Dynamo Kiev that contributed to City's elimination from the last 16 of the Europa League.

Balotelli's list of misdemeanours since joining the club has been long and extensive, including a training-ground fight with Jerome Boateng and an internal inquiry after he was seen throwing darts at youth-team players from the window of a training-ground building.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

EASY TRICK ....... BUT STILL CUTE

Russia classifies beer as alcoholic !!

Who'd have thought ?

Russian President Dmitry Medvedev has signed a bill that officially classifies beer as alcoholic.

Until now anything containing less than 10% alcohol in Russia has been considered a foodstuff.

The move, signed into law on Wednesday, will allow ministers to control the sale of beer in the same way that spirits are controlled.

Russian alcohol consumption is already twice the critical level set by the World Health Organization.

Although vodka has long been the traditional tipple in Russia, beer has soared in popularity, being marketed as a healthier alternative to spirits.

Over the past decade, beer sales in Russia have risen more than 40% while vodka sales have fallen by nearly 30%.

Correspondents say it is common to see people swigging beer in the street and in parks as if they are drinking soft drinks.

It is not restricted to certain stores and is sold around the clock.

The government began their crackdown on beer last year, when they raised taxes on the beverage by 200 per cent.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

OCTOBER 2

Amy Winehouse, 27, found dead at her London flat

Amy Winehouse [27] has been found dead at her home in London, it has been reported.
The Back To Black singer was apparently found at 4pm and her death is believed to be unexplained.


The curse of ' 27 Club 'strikes again ...... Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Brian Jones, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain.

The 27 Club, also occasionally known as the Forever 27 Club or Club 27, is a name for a group of influential rock musicians who have all died at the age of 27. The 27s: The Greatest Myth of Rock & Roll details the history of the phenomenon. Amy Winehouse joined the group on July 23, 2011 when she was found dead in her London home.

RIP

Friday, July 22, 2011

TRUE STORY

A story of a legendary "jobsworth", who'd worked on the Members/Officials Gate at The Oval for years, who asked EVERYONE, regardless, for their ticket or Pass.

Seb Coe turned up without either. one Test Match, and was challenged and refused entry, He asked the jobsworth if he knew who he was and the geezer said, "No",...Seb replied, "I'm Sebastian Coe, and I've left my pass in my office at the House of Lords",..the guy said,.."Well it won't take you long to run back and get it then!"

SHOULD CLASSIC TV BE 'TINKERED' WITH ?

Alec Guinness will always be
George Smiley to me
‘Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy’ in the noughties has the potential to be a more sophisticated depiction of Le Carré’s novel (the 1979 series has a shoestring budget warmth about it) since there is an emphasis to sustain momentum crammed into a two-and-a-half hour plot rather than seven hours’ worth of detail.

Remake, reimagining or rehash, the ‘r’ word and its synonyms prompt as many eyes rolling as does the news that a Michael Bay film has received the green light. And in the case of ‘Tinker’, for the elder statesmen it induces memories of the BBCs 1979 seven-part masterpiece featuring Alec Guinness in the central role of George Smiley, now depicted by Gary Oldman.

Let the Right One In director Tomas Alfredson's adaptation of John le Carré bestseller opens in the UK on 16 September.



In my opinion, 'Tinker' is up there with 'I Claudius' and 'The Prisoner' in a list of TV series that should never be remade .... the 1979 series was as good as it gets.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

UK farmer now growing world's hottest commercially-grown pepper

It is the hottest chilli you can buy in the high street. A commercially-grown chilli that has surpassed the powerfully potent Dorset Naga. Now thanks to a farmer in southern England, the local supermarkets will stock the Bhut Jolokia.

Tesco began stocking the Dorset Naga, which has a rating of 923,000 Scovilles in 2009, and such was the popularity of the hot pepper the supermarket giant asked UK farmer, Salvatore Genovese to produce more hot chillies after demand grew by over 200 percent. Mr Genovese, whose farm is in Blunham in the county of Bedfordshire, is the UK's largest chilli grower.


The Bhut Jolokia is difficult to grow but as Mr Genovese reveals, "[when eaten] It does hurt". On its website, Chillis Galore said the Bhut Jolokia measures in at over one million Scovilles, the unit used to measure chilli pepper heat.

The chilli pepper is referred to in the US as the ghost chili or ghost pepper. The Bhut Jolokia was replaced as the hottest known chili pepper by its cousin the Naga Viper pepper in December 2010.

In February this year the title for the "World's Hottest Chilli" went to the Infinity chilli, grown in Grantham, England. But just weeks later the title was returned to the Naga Viper.

Then more recently, a pepper that requires wearing protective gloves when handling, broke all the records at 1.4 million Scovilles - the Trinidad Scorpion Butch also can induce temporary blindness if exposed too close to the eyes.

New Sarah Palin documentary 'The Undefeated' bashed by critics

In the Simpsons’ episode “A Star is Burns,” famed billionaire Charles Montgomery Burns wanted to improve his personal image and wanted members of the general public to admire him. He decided to produce a film, directed by Senor Spielbergo, which put him in a positive light. The Springfield film festival crowd was not impressed and booed the picture.

This led to Burns asking Mr. Smithers, if they were booing him. Smither replied, “No, sir, they’re saying boo-urns, boo-urns.”



The new film “The Undefeated” documents the life of Sarah Palin before she arrived on the national political stage. It chronicles her personal life and her time as Mayor of Wasilla and Governor of Alaska. The documentary is inspired by the book “Going Rogue: An American Life.”

The Palin film debuted in 10 selected American cities. The Politico reports that the documentary’s producers and distributors, ARC Entertainment, are looking to get a wider release “later this month.”

How is the documentary faring amongst the audience and critics? Not good. Not good at all.
The feature length documentary received a zero percent fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes’ Tomatometer for an average rating of 2.9/10. The movie reviewing website’s audience meter also has zero percent.

Over at IMDB.com, the pro-Sarah Palin film garnered 1.5/10 from 247 IMDB users. It also has a metascore of 34/100.

National film critics labelled the film as “propaganda,” “hagiography,” “idolatrous air brushing” and an “infomercial of almost comical omissions.”

DID YOU KNOW .........................  The names Sarah Palin and Bristol Palin will soon carry the ® symbol after them, as the culmination of a months-long process for the two celebrities appears at hand, thanks to approval of their trademark applications by the US Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO).

The marketing move appears designed at allowing the former Alaskan short-term governor to cash in on the 40-plus million voting Americans who previously considered her vice presidential material. For her daughter, Bristol, the move appears to be monetary as well.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

THERE MAY BE TROUBLE AHEAD

Sunday saw the return of Breaking Bad to our psyche, and what a return it was.

If you find yourself holding your breath during alot of this episode, know this ..... you are not alone. Hitchcock would have been proud to have been associated with this opening episode of the new season. To hold an audience for 10 minutes in relative silence is a risky tactic, but you will be riveted as you watch Gus change into a chemical suit, you know something bad is about to happen ......... but what ?

THERE'S A STORM COMING
One of TV’s best shows is off and running again and if this opening episode is any indication, it will be a fabulous ride.

Don't forget to breathe

IT'LL NEVER WIN AN MTV MUSIC AWARD ..... BUT

SOMETHING FOR THE WEEKEND

If you take a World War II movie, dial up the action with contemporary visual effects and CGI, then give your hero a double dose of steroids and human growth hormones, you wind up in the movie/comic-book world of Captain America: The First Avenger.



For in terms of even recent films, Captain America lacks the deft touch, appealing character interaction and sophisticated storytelling skills of Marvel Comics’ X-Men: First Class. And let’s not even bother to compare this to Christopher Nolan’s Batman series.

'ER INDOORS THINKS HE MIGHT LEAVE

Backheeled penalty by UAE's Awana Diab may be punished

The scorer of a back-heeled penalty, who has become an internet sensation as a result, is facing possible disciplinary action from the United Arab Emirates Football Association.

The coach, Srecko Katanec, was unimpressed, immediately substituting the player after the penalty, only 10 minutes after sending him on. "This is not respect, OK ? I am unhappy. My reaction was normal: I took him out," he said.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

DON'T YOU WISH YOU WERE 12 AGAIN ?

The Martin Scorsese 3D film formerly known as Hugo Cabret (Paramount) and recently retitled Hugo (apparently because Paramount marketing data indicates that American moviegoers don't like a funny-sounding French name that they aren't sure how to pronounce), has a just-up trailer. Except Hugo sounds complex, no ? Shouldn't they just retitle it Hugh or, better yet, H ?

Mancini to buy entire Arsenal squad for a laugh

ROBERTO Mancini will purchase every member of Arsenal's squad, with the obvious exception of Eboue, just to see the look on Arsene Wenger's face

After his signing of Clichy and the bid for Nasri enraged the self-proclaimed 'Professor Of Third Place', Mancini will continue buying the rest of their former teammates every couple of days until Wenger performs an as-yet-unnamed forfeit.

Mancini said: "By the time we get to Bendtner, it's going to be obvious we're just taking the piss, but to be honest that's just going to make it even better when we follow it up with a £21m bid for Almunia.

"It's going to be difficult to keep a straight face when Almunia holds up a City shirt up, especially as he will drop it several times - but it'll be totally worth it."


Wayne Hayes
Mancini has also asked City's billionaire owners to buy Arsenal's Emirates Stadium and rename it the 'Arsene Stinks Of Piss Stadium' as the cherry on the top of his elaborate prank.

Footballologist Wayne Hayes said: "To draw a Panini football sticker analogy, Wenger is the kid who carefully buys a packet every now and then and makes the most of the players inside whereas Mancini is the flash kid whose dad just buys him a whole box of them to keep him quiet.

"The current disagreement between them is the equivalent of Mancini getting Wenger in a headlock behind the PE block and demanding he hand over the few cards still in his 'need' pile."

Despite Mancini's prank injecting hundreds of millions of pounds into Arsenal to rebuild the squad, the money will be useless as the Italian plans to follow Wenger to every transfer negotiation and offer an extra 50p on top of whatever Wenger bids.

AND I SHOULD THINK SO TO

Click here to view full size

WILL HE - WON'T HE ?

Will that ever so nice Mr Redknapp let him go ?

LulzSec Hacks The Sun, Plants Fake Story of Murdoch's Death

Hacking group LulzSec re-emerged from the shadows Monday and published a faked version of U.K. tabloid The Sun, a link to tap into internal Sun staff data, and redirected the Sun's home page to the LulzSec Twitter account.

The fake site, at newtimes.co.uk/sun, was either taken down or unavailable about an hour after the LulzSec account posted the URL to Twitter. It showed up as part of an apparent introduction to the Times of London's new Web site.


The fake site's lead story covered the supposed death of Rupert Murdoch, the chief executive of News Corp., which owns both The Sun and The Times, both part of Murdoch's News Corp. media empire. According to the faked lead story, Murdoch's body was found at his home after an apparent overdose of palladium.

LulzSec also posted a hash, the username, and password belonging to a supposed network administrator of the paper. Inside, LulzSec promised was "hacked internal Sun staff data".

However, LulzSec's real coup was to seize control of the Sun's real home page, and redirect it to the group's Twitter page, which welcomed the paper's readers with a message: "TheSun.co.uk now redirects to our twitter feed. Hello, everyone that wanted to visit The Sun! How is your day? Good? Good!".

Previously, the Sun's home page redirected to the faked new-times.co.uk story about Murdoch's death.

"We have owned Sun/News of the World - that story is simply phase 1 - expect the lulz to flow in coming days," LulzSec tweeted.

In July, the News of the World was accused of hacking into the voicemail of a young murder victim while the investigation into her disappearance was still ongoing. The paper allegedly deleted voicemail messages, giving her parents false hope that she was alive and accessing her phone. The Daily Telegraph later reported that the newspaper also hacked the phones of family members whose relatives were killed or injured in the July 7, 2005 London bombings. There were also reports that the paper paid off London police officers for information.

Murdoch then shut down the News of the World in an attempt to redeem News Corp.'s image, and, some suspected, as a way to allow Murdoch to acquire a majority stake in BSkyB, a British broadcaster. Since then, senior members of Scotland Yard and News Corp. have resigned in the wake of s scandal that involved both newspaper executives and law enforcement. Murdoch himself is expected to answer questions from Parliament on Tuesday.

The hack comes as a re-emergence of sorts for LulzSec, which proclaimed the end of LulzSec at the end of June. It's unclear whether the group has reformed, or if other members hav taken their place. Imperva, a security group that examined the attacks, has told PCMag.com that LulzSec cracked databases and applications/ziffarticle>, and did not distribute malware.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Marilyn Monroe Sculpture on Michigan Ave. Causing Controversy


Sarah Palin Movie Debuts to Empty Theater in Orange County

When the clock struck 12:01 am on Friday, AMC theaters in select cities were permitted to start showing "The Undefeated," a feature length documentary about Sarah Palin.

It may not be "Harry Potter," but another film featuring a bespectacled protagonist is racking up strong pre-sales before its national roll-out this weekend.

"The Undefeated," a glowing look at failed vice-presidential candidate and former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin has already sold out a show in Grapevine, Texas (population 46,000), according to the distributor Cinedigm.

Meanwhile, in the city of Orange, California (population 138,640), 3 people turned up, one was a journalist and the other two, Jamie Watkins, 22, is a Missouri native, which qualifies her as a real American. She only recently moved to Southern California, and her little sister, Jessie, age 18, was visiting for the first time.

"We're going to Disneyland tomorrow," Jamie said, "but she just got here, so we decided we should go out."

"We looked online for the latest movie playing," Jessie added. "But all the Harry Potters were sold out, and then we saw 'The Undeafeated.' We don't even actually know what we're seeing."

They stayed for 20 minutes.

I'd give this one a miss.

EVERYONE'S FAVORITE VIKING IS BACK

Vladimir Kulich celebrated his 55th birthday this week, but age doesn't seem to have quenched his lust for blood. He's back in furs and swinging an axe this time in 'IRONCLAD'.

Born in Prague, Vladimir and his mother moved to Quebec when he was 12 where he became a professional Ice hockey player, at 6'5" ...... the blue eyed blonde was an imposing figure on the ice.

VLADIMIR KULICH PLAYS TIBERIUS IN 'IRONCLAD'
After voluntarily ending his hockey career, Kulich explored a variety of callings. He took a job at a summer camp that catered to handicapped children, began reading more, and tried his hand at painting. Unable to find a definite focus, Kulich eventually moved to Vancouver, British Columbia, where he started a whitewater river rafting business located near Chilliwack, BC. Kulich would serve as owner, operator, and occasional guide for the rugged outings over the course of the next ten years.

One weekend, a couple of producers from the program 21 Jump Street scheduled a whitewater rafting trip with Kulich’s company and were impressed by the unique look of the Czech-Canadian. They offered to give him a small role on an episode of their show, which Kulich accepted.

He was best known for his role as Buliwyf in the film The 13th Warrior ............. and now he's back.

Prologue lays out how in 1215, Giamatti's King John is forced by rebellious feudal lords to sign the Magna Carta, which effectively undermined his absolute power and is still revered today as the cornerstone of English common law. But the king isn't happy about this, and sets out with a mercenary army led by Viking Tiberius (Vladimir Kulich) to wipe out the barons who co-signed the document. Taking control of Rochester Castle, in what is now contempo Kent, will give him complete control of the country.

A proto-democrat of sorts who tartly describes the king as "a tedious little man," Baron Albany (Brian Cox) mobilizes a team of men to help defend the castle until the French send reinforcements. His core of seven less-than-magnificent-but-at-least-adequate heroes includes battle-shocked Knight Templar Marshal (James Purefoy), newly back from the Crusades; greedy hard man Becket (Jason Flemyng); unsubtly monikered marksman Marks (Mackenzie Crook); and, along with a few more disposable others, idealistic pretty boy Guy (Aneurin Barnard), in what might be termed the Orlando Bloom role.

Helmer English and his team have clearly taken pains to emphasize the brutality of 13th-century combat, the hardship of life in a besieged castle and the acutely religious sensibility that permeated the era. ("Damn your Templar vows!" shouts Isabel when Marshal refuses to break his vow of chastity). Like Ridley Scott's "Robin Hood," "Ironclad" strives for a revisionist brand of realism that emphasizes historical roots.

I have to say that this movie smacks of 'The Magnificent Seven' set in the 13th century, but there is enough blood and gore to satisfy all red blooded Viking fans.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

GOOGIE WITHERS AWAY AT THE AGE OF 94

Actress Googie Withers, best known for starring in Alfred Hitchcock's The Lady Vanishes and TV series Within These Walls, has died in Australia aged 94.


The star of such classic movies as Dead of Night, It Always Rains on Sunday, Night and the City and The Browning Version, Withers was also a formidable presence on stage and on the small screen.

Indeed for many her most memorable role was that of prison governor Faye Boswell in the TV drama, Within These Walls, which ran for three seasons from 1974 to 1975 and was an international hit.

Withers continued to work well into the 1990s, appearing in the Oscar-winning bio-pic, Shine (1996), and at the age of 85 she was still leading the way with a powerful performance in a West End production of Lady Windermere's Fan. She is survived by her children, Joanna, Amanda and Nicholas.

SCOUSERS ARE THE SAME THE WORLD OVER

WHY I LIKE PATTY HEWES

While I'm not a writer / journalist / critic, I do of course have views and opinions on this and that, and every so often I do like to express them. Damages is one of my favorite television series and one of the reasons why is Patty Hewes.

Patty (Glenn Close) is a ruthless and brilliant lawyer, she has sacrificed everything to get to the top and in so doing has become an empty shell of a person. She demands perfection from all her employees and has no compunction about firing anyone for the tiniest error or perceived slight. She has lost her husband, her son and a daughter to her principals and yet continues down the same path, unable to compromise even though it is costing her everything.


On the other side of the coin is Patty's brilliance as a lawyer, she will leave no stone unturned, no law unbent and no principle unchallenged when batting for her clients corner. Her cases are her children, she will fight tooth and nail for every last one of them.

Somewhere deep inside Patty is the woman she wants to be, she see's Ellen (Rose Byrne) as a mix of her younger self and the daughter she lost through her own fault. The only living person who brings out any real feelings in Patty is Ellen, her one time protege and now sometimes friend, if someone like Patty could have a friend.

This show brings us some great characters every season, flawed wonderful characters, the kind you find in real life .... we see the bad guy being a great father, we see the good guys doing things they shouldn't .... wonderful ... the lines are blurred ... but if my life savings were on the line, and I needed a lawyer to protect my interest, there would be only one firm that I would like to take my case ...... HEWES & ASSOCIATES.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

THE UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE OF FOOTBALL

Fanaticism is a belief or behavior involving uncritical zeal, particularly for an extreme religious or political cause or in some cases sports, or with an obsessive enthusiasm for a pastime or hobby. Philosopher George Santayana defines fanaticism as "redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim"; according to Winston Churchill, "A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject". By either description the fanatic displays very strict standards and little tolerance for contrary ideas or opinions.



In 2011, River Plate was facing both an institutional and sports crisis. José María Aguilar left the presidency of the club with a debt of over 10 million dollars, being replaced by Daniel Pasarella. The team ended the 2008 Apertura tournament at the bottom of the table, and River's poor form followed through the 2011 Clausura tournament. As a result, River played the "Promoción", a two-legged play-off against Belgrano de Córdoba, the fourth placed team of the 2010–11 Primera B Nacional. Belgrano won the first leg 2–0 at Córdoba, and held on for a 1–1 draw at El Monumental. With the defeat, River Plate was relegated to Nacional B for the first time in its history. The second match was interrupted during injury time by rioting in the stadium and its surroundings which continued after the match was called, despite a substantial police presence. Almost immediately following River's relegation, Juan Jose Lopez resigned as manager.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

HERE WE GO - SEASON 4

Did Harry Redknapp really bring on a fan as a substitute?

Incredibly, the legend is true. In 1994, Redknapp was assistant manager of West Ham and his side were playing Oxford City in a pre-season friendly when ... well, we'll let 'Arry take up the tale:


"Lee Chapman was playing for us at the time," recounts Redknapp. "All through the first half some tattooed skinhead behind me was giving Lee terrible stick. At half-time I turned to this bloke who had West Ham etched on his neck and asked 'Can you play as good as you talk?' He looked totally confused. So I told him he was going to get his dream to play for West Ham. We sent him down the tunnel and he reappeared 10 minutes later all done out in the strip. He ran on to the pitch and a journalist from the local Oxford paper sidled up and asked 'Who's that Harry?' I said 'What? Haven't you been watching the World Cup? That's the great Bulgarian Tittyshev!' The fella wasn't bad - actually, he scored!"

The fella in question was a 27-year-old called Steve Davies who had given up park football six years earlier. The West Ham board were obviously impressed with Harry's idiosyncratic decision-making: they made him manager a month later.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

PRE SEASON : CHELSEA 3-0 WYCOMBE

World-Cup winning striker Fernando Torres was on the scoresheet as Chelsea recorded a 3-0 victory over the Wanderers in a practice match at Cobham on Tuesday afternoon.

Yossi Benayoun danced through the visiting defence to open the scoring in the early stages and Nikki Bull produced a fine stop to deny Didier Drogba, while Scott Rendell missed Wycombe's best chance of the half from a tight angle.

Torres stroked home from 18 yards to make it 2-0 after the break before defender Slobodan Rajkovic finished well from close range. At the other end, Marvin McCoy drew a smart save from Ross Turnbull after out-pacing England left-back Ashley Cole.

Chelsea went close to extending their lead late in the second half but Salomon Kalou's low drive cannoned back of the post and Nicolas Anelka was denied by Steve Arnold from 15 yards.

Chelsea first-half XI: Hilario, Bosingwa, Van Aanholt, Terry, Kalas, Mikel, Kaby, Benayoun, Malouda, Kakuta, Drogba.

Chelsea second-half XI: Turnbull, Ferreira, Cole, Ivanovic, Rajkovic, B Clifford (Mellis), McEachran, Zhirkov, Anelka, Kalou, Torres.

Goals: Benayoun (4), Torres (52), Rajkovic (56)

Referee: Phil Dowd.

DALLAS REBOOT

Dallas, the classic 80's TV series, is making a comeback to our small screens in a TV pilot featuring some of the biggest names of the original series.

There’s good news for fans of the classic TV series Dallas which is going to be making a comeback this year in a new pilot show by TNT - the US cable channel. The Dallas TV series was highly successful and ran from 1978 to 1991 which competed directly with the other iconic series of the 80’s Dynasty.


TNT has confirmed that Larry Hagman (J.R) Patrick Duffy (Bobby Ewing) and Linda Gray (Sue Ellen) are to appear in the new TV pilot with a host of other actors fresh to Dallas. It’s unclear what the storyline is going to be in the new pilot. but will include the younger members played by Josh Henderson and Jordana Brewster fighting over the future of the family business.

Let's check if they got everything right, shall we ....

ARE THE MAJORITY OF THE CAST IN THEIR LATE 20'S TO EARLY 30'S ? .... YES
DOES EVERYONE HAVE WONDERFUL FAKE TEETH ? ....... YES
ARE THE NEW MALE ACTORS ALL HANDSOME AND BUFF ? ....... YES
ARE THE NEW FEMALE ACTORS ALL BEAUTIFUL AND WEIGH 110lbs ...... YES

Then let us begin.

' TITUS AWAKES '

Titus Awakes is the editorial title applied to a novel being planned by Mervyn Peake at the time he became too ill to write, about 1960. It was to have been the fourth novel in the Gormenghast series, after Titus Groan, Gormenghast, and Titus Alone. Titus Awakes remained unfinished, as the author succumbed to illness before the work could be completed.

In the mid-1970s Peake's widow, Maeve Gilmore, wrote a version of Titus Awakes which she named Search Without End. Complete, it runs to 65000 words.

Early in 2010 Sebastian Peake announced that his daughter had found Maeve Gilmore's notebook MS of Titus Awakes in the family's attic. He hopes to have the new book published in 2011 (the 100th anniversary of Mervyn Peake's birth). He says it follows Titus's journeyings in the wider world, finally reaching an island that Peake identifies as Sark, where the Peake family lived from 1946 to 1949, and sees Titus himself become Mervyn Peake.

Available now at all good bookstores, price £6.39

WAITING FOR THE WEEKEND

Monday, July 11, 2011

MANCHESTER UNITED REVEAL THEIR NEW AWAY KIT FOR THE 2011/2012 SEASON

Liverpool to experiment with 0-11-0 formation

KENNY Dalglish is hoping to improve Liverpool's fortunes next season by fielding a side comprising entirely of midfielders.

The incomprehensible spendthrift has signed 15 midfielders in the last two days at a cost of £112m and has had to be talked out of selling the other parts of his squad by an increasingly-terrified Steve Clarke.

Clarke said: "Before Sammy Lee was wheeled out following his nervous breakdown, the one bit of advice he gave me was not to let Kenny go scouting for players driving anything bigger than a scooter because you've got no idea what he'll come home with.


"Granted, strikers are a bunch of prima donnas, defenders a bunch of thugs and goalkeepers are just fucking mental, but they do serve a purpose on the pitch even if, as in the case of Glen Johnson, that purpose is purely decorative."

The latest acquisition is Blackpool's Charlie Adam, despite the fact during his medical carbon-dating showed the '25 year-old' to actually date from the last Jurassic period.

Dalglish's rationale for the new direction is that an 11-man midfield will form an impenetrable wall between the opposition and their half, and will be able to slowly advance toward the opposition goal in what he has dubbed 'the Kitchener formation' after the unbelievably wrong Word War I general.

Using a series of flash cards to indicate his tactics, he said: "We've proven pretty conclusively that we can't pass the ball five yards without accidentally conceding a penalty or bursting into flames so this way they just need to link arms and walk forward whilst kicking.

"Imagine a West End chorus line with Dirk Kuyt in it."

CELEBRITY BIKES

He has a huge collection of motorbikes, and it seems that Brad Pitt just can't get enough of the powerful machines. Among others Brad owns a Ducati Desmosedici RR, a Monster 696, some Triumphs and a selection of Harley-Davidson choppers.



A daughter for Victoria and David Beckham

' Thick 'n Thin '
Victoria Beckham has given birth to a baby girl – the first daughter for the former Spice Girl and her footballer husband David.

The baby, named Harper Seven, was delivered on Sunday at Cedars Sinai hospital in Los Angeles.

In a statement on his Facebook page, former England captain Beckham said: "I am so proud and excited to announce the birth of our daughter Harper Seven Beckham.

"She weighed a healthy 7lbs 10oz and arrived at 7.55 this morning, here in LA. Victoria is doing really well and her brothers are delighted to have a baby sister xx."

The Beckhams, who married in 1999, already have three boys - Brooklyn, 11, Romeo, eight, and Cruz, five.

PROPER TELLY

Sherlock is a British television series created by Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss. It is a contemporary update of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes detective stories and stars Benedict Cumberbatch as Holmes and Martin Freeman as Doctor John Watson. After an unbroadcast pilot was produced in 2009, the first series of three 90-minute episodes was transmitted on BBC One and BBC HD in July and August 2010 and later on PBS stations in the U.S. from 24 October 2010. A second series is scheduled to be broadcast in the UK in autumn 2011.




The first series of three 90-minute movies won the 2011 BAFTA Television Award for Best Drama Series. The titles were A Study in Pink, The Blind Banker and The Great Game. The next three titles due to be shown on BBC in the Autumn of 2011 are called A Scandal in Belgravia, The Hounds of Baskerville and The Reichenbach Fall.

The show has been described as a cross between Withnail and I  and The Bourne Ultimatum.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

TODAYS JOKE


During a recent password audit by Microsoft & Google, it was found that a blonde was using the password : "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyDublin"

When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

I'll get me Mac

CELEBRITY BIKES

ACTRESS ANN-MARGRET OWNS HER OWN CUSTOMIZED HARLEY DAVIDSON
WHICH IS LAVENDER IN COLOUR AND COVERED WITH LITTLE DAISIES

REALLY ? ........... I MEAN REALLY ?

A Baby Snuggie, for when 9 months of back pains just isn't enough.


Even though we now know that the Snuggie is a lousy waste of $15, the concept is still sound. This Peekaru, which is a kangaroo-like pouch for moms and dads to carry baby around in.

An actual mom says that shoving the kid's head, symbiote style, inside the pouch isn't enough—a sun shade would be even better. We just hope there's some kind of ventilation so that stinky baby farts have somewhere to escape to.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

TODAYS JOKE



I can't believe the News of The World is no more. Its like learning of the
death of an old paedophile grandfather. You can't really mourn him but when you were growing up he was always there on your bed on Sunday mornings !

FC Twente stadium collapses

Part of a Dutch football stadium under renovation in the city of Enschede has collapsed, killing one and trapping an unknown number of people under the rubble.



"Part of the roof has collapsed. There are people under the rubble. We don't know how many," a Dutch police spokesman said after the incident at the Dutch top flight club.

The spokesman could not comment on whether anyone was killed or injured. The roof's partial collapse probably was related to construction work at the stadium, he added.

A large number of police, fire brigade and ambulances are heading to or have arrived at the scene, news agency ANP reported.

The Eredivisie club was managed by former England boss Steve McClaren from 2008-2010.

THAT'S CONFIDENCE FOR YOU


Go here to view -> http://www.manchesteruniteddigitalcatalogues.com/kitlaunch2011/en/?shirt=13097069688589

GOOD ON YOU HUGH

A Guardian investigation has uncovered what may likely be the most despicable allegation of phone hacking by News of the World yet in the ongoing scandal.

According to the report, evidence obtained by Scotland Yard suggests NotW journalists had purposely deleted messages from missing schoolgirl Milly Dowler‘s personal voicemail box — which they had accessed with the help of private investigators — giving her parents false hope that their daughter was still alive, and directly interfering with police investigation into her March 2002 disappearance.

Milly’s body was found six months later; her murderer, serial killer Levi Bellfield, was convicted of the crime last month.



Glenn Mulcaire, the PI at the center of the scandal, released a statement to The Guardian, saying he wanted “to apologise to anybody who was hurt or upset by what I have done,” though would not address the Milly Dowler phone hacking directly.

The News of the World will shut down next Sunday after 168 years in print.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

MAGIC

....... AND THEY'RE BACK

Comedy Central Roastee


Comedy Central announced today that its next Comedy Central Roastee will be none-other-than tiger-blooded, Adonis DNA’d winner Charlie Sheen. The roast is set to go down September 10th in LA, with the televised premiere scheduled for September 19th at 10/9c, just one hour after the Ashton Kutcher premiere on CBS' "Two and a Half Men."

Read more: http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/308791#ixzz1RN6hEPca

“You could say I’ve been providing kindling for this Roast for a while,” Sheen said in a statement. “It’s time to light it up. It’s going to be epic.”

The panel of roasters, sure to include some familiar foul-mouthed favorites, will be announced over the next few weeks on Comedy Central Insider.