Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Monday, November 26, 2012

UP TO HIS OLD TRICKS

Sky Sports touchline reporter Geoff Shreeves must be one of the most tactless men walking the earth.

Infamously, Shreeves told Branislav Ivanovic he would not be playing in the Champions League final after the Serb defender had put in an epic performance, but picked up a booking, in last season’s semi-final second leg aggregate victory for Chelsea at Barcelona.


Today, Shreeves was up to his old tricks and he laid it on thick to Rafa Benitez as the new Chelsea boss tried to explain his side’s 0-0 draw with Manchester City at Stamford Bridge on Sunday.

Shreeves tells Benitez, that the reception from Chelsea fans “was absolutely awful.” And then rubs it in by saying to the Spaniard: “the entire crowd booed you and said ‘we don’t want you here’.”

Watch Shreeves put his foot in it again and compare with the infamous Branislav Ivanovic interview on the second video below.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

DON'T ASK ....... DON'T TELL

BLT [Bear / Lion / Tiger]

One American animal shelter has got three friends it fondly refers to as “BLT.” The bear, lion and tiger were rescued when they were all about two months old ten years ago.
NO SILLY .................................. NOT LIKE THIS
The trio is now inseparable, as they were raised together. Named Baloo (the bear), Leo (the lion), and Shere Khan (the tiger), they were found together when police raided a drug dealer’s premises in 2002. The three have lived at Noah’s Ark Animal Rehabilitation Center and Children’s Care Home ever since. The trio have a Facebook fag page.


People can visit the animal sanctuary, although it is advised one should call ahead to ensure they are open. Noah’s Ark does have some dogs it will adopt out. Not only home to unique animals in need of caring homes, Noah’s Ark also runs a group home for up to 24 children, from birth to 18 years of age. The animal facility is home for up to 1,000 animals.


Saturday, November 24, 2012

Everyone to have managed Chelsea by 2014

CHELSEA FC has confirmed that everybody in the UK will have a chance to manage their club over the next two years.

England’s longest-running farce has drawn up a schedule of 15-minute managerial appointments, starting with 78-year-old Bunty Kaltenbrunner from Carrigaline, who will oversee the first part of Sunday’s match against Manchester City.

Bunty Kaltenbrunner [78]
The huge rota will begin as soon as Chelsea staff find Rafael Benitez, who is currently hiding somewhere in Stamford Bridge with the keys to the main entrance and all the forks from the canteen stuffed into his coat pockets.

Bunty said: “My grandson puts the football on sometimes when he comes to visit and that’s given me enough insight to know that Torres can fucking whistle if he thinks he’s starting up front.

“I will be starting that nice Ashley Cole, though. Beautiful manners and immaculately turned out, he is. It’s a mystery no nice young lady has snapped him up.”

Each sacking will be accompanied by a six-figure payout and it’s hoped that Chelsea can drag the country out of recession by the time the first few million people have been sent on gardening leave.

Employed people will be allowed to manage the club during their lunch hour and the under-fives will be given overnight slots which are anticipated to be quiet, apart from the occasional Travelodge-related incident.

A Chelsea spokesman said: “I don’t have the full list of forthcoming managers to hand but I can tell you that Sven Goran Eriksson is about 62 millionth.”

Friday, November 23, 2012

Ferguson statue unveiled at Old Trafford

A statue of Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson has been unveiled under the stand bearing his name at Old Trafford. Over 2,500 people attended, including former United greats Sir Bobby Charlton, Peter Schmeichel, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Andy Cole, Denis Irwin, Ruud van Nistelrooy, Edwin van der Sar and Eric Cantona.



And Ferguson's wife, Lady Cathy, stood next to her husband as she unveiled the new statue on Friday.

"Normally people die before they have a statue. I'm outliving death," joked the United manager to the crowd.

"It is an incredible journey I've had at the club. I have managed so many great players and some of them are here today. "They should actually build a statue for all of them. They have been fantastic players to have.

 "I have been very privileged to deal with such great players from 1986 through to today. They have given us all enormous pleasure.

"I have been very privileged to deal with such great players from 1986 through to today. They have given us all enormous pleasure. "We all have a part to play, the manager, all the coaches and the medical staff. They have also played their part. "I am really proud today. It is a fantastic honour.

I would like to thank the Manchester United directors, owners and all the people involved in this decision." Sculptor Philip Jackson said: "I've tried to portray him as a man of great determination and as a thinking man, but also with humour which he has in abundance, so there's just a slight smile in the corner of his mouth. "That's really what I wanted to portray."

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

LINK FOR THE FUTURE



Click here --> http://www.timeanddate.com/countdown/generic?iso=20130519T17&p0=136&msg=Days+until+Chelsea+get+rid+of+the+muppet+Benitez&csz=1#

ROMAN EXPLAINS

HOW TO PISS OFF A FROG

IT MUST BE SOME KIND OF RECORD

"When Chelsea appoint a new manager Fernando Torres will be on an average of 2.75 goals per manager." ......... Mario Balotelli



ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST

CHELSEA have sacked manager Roberto Di Matteo.

The Blues boss, 42, was under increasing pressure going into last night’s make-or-break Champions League group game with Juventus. And the 3-0 defeat in Italy proved to be the last straw for ruthless owner Roman Abramovich, who has axed Di Matteo despite the Italian guiding the club to glory in the FA Cup and Europe last season.

A club statement said: “The team’s recent performances and results have not been good enough. The owner and the board felt that a change was necessary now to keep the club moving in the right direction as we head into a vitally important part of the season. The club faces a difficult task ahead in qualifying for the knockout stages of the Champions League as well as maintaining a strong challenge for the top of the Premier League while competing in three other cup competitions. The owner and the board would like to thank Roberto for all he has done for the club since taking over in March."

CONTENDERS

Pep Guardiola:   The former Barcelona manager has long been rumoured as the ideal candidate for Blues owner Roman Abramovich. Not only does Guardiola boast an impressive CV - in four years with the Catalan giants he won three Primera Division titles and the Champions League twice - but he was also the mastermind behind their much admired style of free flowing football. The former Spain international is currently on a year-long sabbatical from football.

Jose Mourinho:  The self-styled 'Special One' was the longest-serving manager at Chelsea under Abramovich and brought them their first Premier League title in 50 years in the 2004-05 season. However, his defensive brand of football left him at odds with Abramovich and, following a poor run of results at the start of the 2007-08 season, he left the club by mutual consent. Mourinho went on to win the league, cup and Champions league treble with Inter Milan before joining Real Madrid. Mourinho is believed to be unsatisfied at the Santiago Bernabeu, however, and has long made it known that he wants a return to the Premier League.

Harry Redknapp:  Redknapp was considered one of the contenders when Villas-Boas was sacked but was thought to be involved in a club-v-country tug of war between Tottenham and England. However, the Football Association instead appointed Roy Hodgson and Spurs unceremoniously sacked the 65-year-old despite him leading the London club to fourth in the Premier League last season. His credentials are unquestioned however and will find backing from at least one man at the club - nephew Frank Lampard.

Guus Hiddink:  The Dutchman would have been an overwhelming favourite for the post if he was not at the ambitious Russian side Anzhi Makhachkala. He previously stepped into the breach when the Blues parted company with Luiz Felipe Scolari and made a big impression on the playing staff, while maintaining positive relations with Abramovich. Should there be a get-out clause in his Anzhi contract, Chelsea would surely be willing to pay.

CHELSEA ARE .......................


CHELSEA

Apparently Roman Abramovich has offered Pep Guardiola a 4 season contract at Chelsea FC ..... Winter, Spring, Summer and Autumn.

OUT WITH THE NEW AND IN WITH THE NEWER

Monday, November 19, 2012

Twinkies cakes and Twinkie merchandise hot items on eBay

After Hostess announced yesterday the company was closing its operations and filing a motion to liquidate, a market for Twinkies and Twinkie-related merchandise emerged on eBay.

On Nov. 16, Hostess followed through on its promise to shut the company down and file a motion with a federal bankruptcy court to liquidate the company if striking workers did not return to work by a Nov. 15, 5 p.m. deadline. Employees continued to strike, and the company ceased operations yesterday.

As a result, the closing has created a hot market online for not only Twinkies snacks, but related merchandise. According to CNN Money, "Twinkies merchandise is hot on eBay, with prices soaring now."

Reportedly, a "Twinkie the Kid" lunch box, sold for $690 on Friday. It was listed on Nov. 9, reported CNN Money, with a starting price of $14.99. All week the item didn't get any bids, but after Hostess made its announcement, the lunch box received almost 60 bids in a short period of time.

Additionally, other products such as Beanie dolls, Twinkie containers and a Twinkie Bake Set are picking up bids as the prices inch higher. Over the next few days the items remain on auction, these prices may increase significantly.


Other media reports note that people are also putting actual boxes of Twinkies up on eBay to sell. ABC News reported "entrepreneurial" eBay sellers were placing boxes of the popular brand on the site with a 95 percent markup starting bid. One box reportedly sold for $59.99.

As grocery stores sell out, supply is limited, so what people are willing to pay for the spongy yellow cake may see some interesting fluctuation over the next couple of weeks. Hostess' final shipments went out yesterday so stores may have supplies for the near future, but if more eager eBay sellers hit the grocery stores, these supplies are likely to be gone soon, if not already.

It may be the run on Twinkies are for naught, depending if another company purchases components of the 85-year-old Hostess company.

In the meantime, those who don't want to gamble on possibly never seeing another box of Twinkies again, can always put a bid in on eBay. Although, be warned, some prices are listed at astronomical numbers. Prices range anywhere from (approximately) $15 to over $1 million for boxes. Other Hostess products are listed at a variety of prices as well; some more reasonable than others.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

NOT SO SCARY NOW ...... ARE THEY ?


Billy Graham Quietly Adds Mormonism Back To Cult List

A week after his controversial pre-election removal of Mormonism from a list of cults on the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association web site, it has been quietly added back.

Shortly before the election, the list of cults were cited as “Jehovah’s Witnesses, Mormons, the Unification Church, Unitarians, Spiritualists, Scientologists, Darwinists, Biologists, and others”, until “Mormons” was stricken following a visit by Mitt Romney to Billy Graham’s home near Asheville, North Carolina. When asked for comment after “Mormons” was placed back on the list, a spokesman for Graham said, “Look, we took it off the list before. It was close to the election. We were kind of pressed for time. We didn’t get a chance to really look at Mormonism. But once we started reading… Oh my goodness! That is some crazy stuff! Oh sure, an angel came by and showed you some stuff in a language that only you could understand! What a racket! Jesus was a real man. Mary had sex. You can be a god, too. Planet Kolob! I couldn’t think of anything crazier than that if I tried.”

'I THINK IT'S WHAT GOD WOULD HAVE WANTED'
Also added to the list in the recent change were Amway “businesspeople”, Dave Matthews Band fans, and Apple consumers.

Friday, November 9, 2012

WHO DIDN'T SEE THIS COMING ?

The Zombie apocalypse I mean .... not the movie.




"LET'S PRETEND WE'VE SCORED A GOAL"

Last weekend brought the conclusion of the Swedish Allsvenskan season. 

 At the top end of the table it was a frantic finale as Elfborg won the title by the skin of their teeth, whilst at the other end of the division the close of the campaign brought welcome relief to the fans of GAIS.

GAIS propped up the league with a miserable 12 points having collected just one win in 30 league matches, yet despite having witnessed week after week of pitiful performances from their team, the supporters of the club still managed to maintain their sense of humour.

 That was made clear in the following clip.

  GAIS’ season was ended on a bum note in a 4-0 away thrashing at Orebro, but that did little to spoil the enjoyment of their fans. Employing their imagination to the nth degree, the GAIS fans ignored the horrible showing from their team on the pitch through a rendition of a genius chant “Let’s pretend we’ve scored a goal!”

Thursday, November 8, 2012

A $20 BICYCLE

A bicycle made almost entirely of cardboard has the potential to change transportation habits from the world's most congested cities to the poorest reaches of Africa.



He said during a recent demonstration that after much trial and error, his latest prototype had proven itself and mass production will begin in a few months. The bike is expected to retail at about $20 (€15.43).

WHOOPS

Before the election, Mitt Romney's staff prepared a transition website, in case the former Republican nominee was elected president of the United States. And even though Romney didn't win the election, the site saw the light of day — for a few moments anyway.



Some are jumping to make jokes about the fact that Romney's staff had this transition website ready, but let's be realistic: This kind of preparation is far from unusual. Accidentally making the site live, even for a few minutes, though — that's the mistake.

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO 'ANY PUBLICITY IS GOOD PUBLICITY' ?

Makers of Budweiser and the US distributor of Stolichnaya vodka are asking Paramount Pictures to remove branded bottles of vodka and beer from the new film "Flight", which depicts Denzil Washington as a drunk pilot.


 
The new drama "Flight" is the story of an alcoholic pilot (Washington), who flies a plane while high on drugs and drink. While the pilot becomes a hero briefly, for saving everyone on board when the plane crashes, once it becomes known that he was drunk, things change drastically for him. The movie comes from the Oscar-winning director of "Forest Gump" and "Who Framed Roger Rabbit", Robert Zemeckis.

William "Whip" Whitaker, the pilot, portrayed by Denzel Washington, doesn't only imbibe Budweiser and Stolichnaya vodka in the movie. He also gets stuck into Smirnoff and Absolut vodkas. In one scene, the character is also portrayed as staring longingly at an open hotel minibar, with many alcohol labels visible.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

'THEY DON'T LIKE IT UP 'UM'

CLIVE DUNN OBE [CORPORAL JONES] 09/01/20 - 07/11/12

HE'S BACK FROM SUSPENSION


NO ZOMBIES .... NO VAMPIRES

Steven Spielberg's latest blockbuster is a biographical war drama which centers on the last four months of who many consider America's greatest president, Abraham Lincoln.

The cinematic overview which literally features an international cast of thousands is based upon the biography: Team of Rivals: the Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln by Doris Kearns Goodwin, and the book was adapted for the screen by Tony Kushner (Angels in America)

It's release is timed to echo the 150th anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation.

JUST GIVE HIM THE OSCAR ALREADY

Principal photography began October 17 2011 and wrapped December 19 2011 and was in itself a herculean task. Daniel Day Lewis who portrays Abraham Lincoln likens the frenzied rush to capture the book on film was likened to a shoot for a low budget film with all the creative energy and improvisational opportunities of that type of film making.

The film also features David Straithairn, Jared Harris, John Hawkes, James Spader and co-stars Tommy Lee Jones, Joesph Gordon Levitt as Robert Todd Lincoln and Sally Field as Lincoln's wife Mary Todd Lincoln.

WE'RE ALL SAFE FOR ANOTHER 4 YEARS


WASHINGTON AND COLORADO LEGALIZE RECREATIONAL MARIJUANA USE

WHAT A STATE

MYNorthwest.com reports that Washington voters approved Initiative 502, which allows adults age 21 and older to purchase up to 1 ounce (28 grams) of marijuana from state-licensed retail stores. Growers and processors will also be licensed and regulated by the state government.

I-502 also establishes a standard blood test to determine if motorists are driving under the influence of marijuana.


Public use or display of marijuana is still prohibited.

ROCKY MOUNTAIN HIGH

Voters in Colorado approved a similar measure, a constitutional amendment that also allows adults to purchase up to an ounce of marijuana and grow up to six cannabis plants. The two states are the first in the nation to legalize recreational marijuana. In fact, their laws are even more progressive than those in countries like the Netherlands that are known for their drug leniency.

In Oregon, voters failed to pass Measure 80, a similar measure that would have legalized the recreational use of marijuana in that state.

I-502 will levy a 25 percent excise tax on each stage of marijuana production and sale, from growers to retailers, a move that is expected to raise nearly $2 billion in tax revenue over the next five years. Those proceeds will go toward education, health care, drug abuse prevention and treatment and basic government services.


Like Colorado, Washington now seems to be on a collision course with the federal government, which still classifies marijuana as a Schedule I drug, meaning it has "a high potential for abuse" and "no currently accepted medical use." Other Schedule I drugs include heroin, LSD and ecstasy. According to the government's scheduling, marijuana is more dangerous than cocaine or methamphetamine.

President Barack Obama, who was reelected to his second term on Tuesday, broke a 2008 campaign promise to take a "hands-off" approach to states that legalized medicinal marijuana. Some Washington voters are now casting wary eyes towards Washington, DC in anticipation of how the federal government will respond to their bold move. Read more: http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/336361#ixzz2BXJZemWy

DONE AND DUSTED


Tuesday, November 6, 2012

GOOD TACTIC IF YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH IT

OBAMA VOTES CHANGE TO ROMNEY VOTES WHEN YOU PRESS THE BUTTON

"My wife and I went to the voting booths this morning before work. There were 4 older ladies running the show and 3 voting booths That Are similar to a science fair project on how they fold up. They had an oval VOTE logo on top center and a cartridge slot on the left That the volunteers used to start your ballot. I initially selected Obama but Romney was highlighted. I Assumed it was being picky so I deselected Romney and Obama tried again, this time more care fully, and still got Romney. Being a software developer, I: immediately went into troubleshooting mode. I first thought the calibration was off and tried selecting Jill Stein to actually highlight Obama. Nope. Jill Stein was selected just fine. Next I deselected and re-started at the top of Romney's name and started tapping very closely together to find the 'active areas'. From the top of Romney's button down to the bottom of the black checkbox beside Obama's name was all activations for Romney. From the bottom or That same checkbox to the bottom of the Obama button (basically a small white sliver) is what let me choose Obama.Stein's button was fine. All other buttons worked fine. I asked the voters on either side of me if they had any problems and they reported they did not. I then called for a volunteer to have a look at it. She hee hawed for a bit then calmly said "It's nothing to worry about, everything will be OK." and went back to what she was doing. I then recorded this video."

Saturday, November 3, 2012

NOW THAT'S A HALLOWEEN COSTUME

NOTE: THOSE ARE PLASTIC KNIVES

SPOOOOOOOOOOKY

DID YOU KNOW ......................

Nov 2, 2012 .... The Barcelona forward Lionel Messi has become a father for the first time after his partner, Antonella Roccuzzo, gave birth to a baby boy, who is to be named Thiago.


July 3, 2010 .... Real Madrid striker Cristiano Ronaldo becomes a father, the child is named Cristiano jr after his father who has full custody.

This means that the two children were born 869 days apart ...... the exact number of day between the birth of Ronaldo and Messi.


Messi vs Ronaldo: Stats

                     Messi                                                     Ronaldo

2009-10 Games: 64 Goals: 49 Assists: 11 .................. 2009-10 Games: 39 Goals: 33 Assists: 7

2010-11 Games: 61 Goals: 51 Assists: 22 .................. 2010-11 Games: 65 Goals: 56 Assists: 16

2011-12 Games: 68 Goals: 74 Assists: 27 .................. 2011-12 Games: 73 Goals: 77 Assists: 16

Total  .... Games: 193 Goals: 174 Assists: 60            Total .... Games: 177 Goals: 166 Assists: 39