Thursday, December 30, 2010

ARE YOU MULTI - LINGUAL ?

Pop singer Bobby Farrell dies on tour in Russia

Performer Bobby Farrell, of the 1970s European chart-topping group Boney M, was found dead in his hotel bed Thursday while on tour in Russia, his agent said. He was 61.

Farrell appeared as scheduled in St. Petersburg Wednesday night, but complained of breathing problems before and after his show, said the agent, John Seine. He had been due to fly to Rome Thursday for a television show.

The frontman died in St Petersburg yesterday on same date and in the exact same town as mad Russian monk Rasputin - who was the subject of the band's 1978 top three single.

Farrell, who lived in Amsterdam, was more a dancer and showman than singer when he fronted Boney M in the 1970s and '80s. The group, based in Germany, broke into the charts with "Daddy Cool" and "Sunny" in 1976. Two years later their version of "By the Rivers of Babylon" sold nearly 2 million records in Britain alone, keeping it No. 1 for five weeks.

He was chosen in 1974 to front the Caribbean group Boney M, put together by German singer and songwriter Frank Farian, who did much of the recorded singing. Boney M had 38 top-10 hits, including 15 number ones in Germany. They included "Brown Girl in the Ring" and "Mary's Boychild."

Monday, December 27, 2010

Charlie Brooker's Daily Mail Island

LOOKING FOR A NEW YEARS RESOLUTION ?

HERE'S A GOOD ONE

THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW YOU NEEDED

Montesano-based Bottoms Up beer distributors

MUSIC OF THE GODS

The Testimony of Patience Kershaw


The Unthanks (previously called Rachel Unthank and the Winterset, until 2009) are an English folk group from Northumberland.

Roman Abramovich's palatial home

It is a mansion fit for a king - or even a tsar.


Russian oligarch Roman Abramovich has purchased all nine flats of a prime London block by Harvey Nichols and Harrods.

Spread across two stucco-fronted properties in Lowndes Square in London, the eight-bedroom building is expected to be worth up to £150million.

The development, over five storeys above ground and three basement levels, boasts a cinema/entertainment room, an indoor pool, steam room and sauna, as well as a children's study and entertainment room.



All six family bedrooms have en suite bathrooms, as do the two guest rooms. In a linked mews development behind the main building, four flats above a multicar garage will be used as staff accommodation.

The total size is 30,000 sq feet, five times the area of a normal five-bedroomed family home.

The home is currently two adjoining townhouses, which were split into nine apartments in 1998.
Mr Abramovich has been buying up the individual flats over the years to convert the building into the single home, but did not change the exterior.

He first bought a flat there in the late Nineties, spending £1.2million. He and his then wife, Irina, spent a similar amount gutting and remodelling it and it was their London home for several years.

'I knew he was buying property in the square,' said a property expert. 'But I didn't realise all of them were in these two buildings. He was obviously determined to acquire them and just waited patiently until, one by one, they came on the market.'

By cannily buying up individual flats, the Russian has ended up paying between £15million and £20million for the two historic houses, a great deal less than their eventual worth.

He bought the freehold for the buildings from Sun Life for only £1.8million.

Abramovich's property portfolio also includes a luxury flat at the new Bridges Wharf development next to Battersea heliport; an £18million, 420-acre estate, Fyning Hill, in West Sussex; a villa in the South of France; a house in Tuscany; a hotel complex in Cyprus and a holiday home in Montenegro.

There is also a house in Moscow and a palatial St. Barts compound purchased last year.

Stuffed !

A New Jersey woman who hopes to become the fattest woman in the world got 30,000 calories closer to her 1,000lb goal with a festive feast that could have fed dozens of revellers.


The single mother-of-two tucked into two 25lb turkeys, two maple-glazed hams, 15lbs of potatoes (10lbs roast, 5lbs mashed), five loaves of bread, five pounds of herb stuffing, four pints of gravy, four pints of cranberry dressing and an astonishing 20lbs of vegetables.

After polishing off her enormous main course, she still had room for dessert and ate a 'salad' made of marshmallow, cream cheese, whipped cream and cookies.



Donna's two children, Devin, 14, and Jacqueline, three, enjoyed a more modest feast.

The 5'2 Donna defended her £150 meal, saying: 'I eat as much as I want, whenever I want but at this time of year I really go all out.

'Christmas should give you carte blanche to do whatever you want.'

Donna, who insists she is healthy, told the Sunday Mirror: 'People who feel guilty about eating are hilarious.'

She makes a living from being fat, getting paid to make public appearances and keeping a website where people can pay to watch her eat.

Already a Guinness world record holder for being the largest woman to ever give birth, Donna hopes to gain 25 stone more and officially become the fattest woman in the world.

She got the Guinness World Record as the world's fattest mother, when she gave birth in 2007 weighing 38stone.

She needed a team of 30 medics to deliver her daughter Jacqueline during a high-risk Caesarean birth.

She makes a living from being fat, getting paid to make public appearances and keeping a website where people can pay to watch her eat.

Already a Guinness world record holder for being the largest woman to ever give birth, Donna hopes to gain 25 stone more and officially become the fattest woman in the world.

She got the Guinness World Record as the world's fattest mother, when she gave birth in 2007 weighing 38stone.

She needed a team of 30 medics to deliver her daughter Jacqueline during a high-risk Caesarean birth.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Christmas Dinner

Original ad:
we need profesional catering for our christmas day dinner party. must have experence catering. SERIOUS RESPONSES ONLY



From Me to ************@*********.org:

Hello,

I am writing in response to your ad looking for a caterer for your Christmas dinner party. I am a freelance chef with a lot of catering experience. I was the top chef at the world renowned Restauran de Bon Foodeux for over five years. If you are still looking for a caterer, let me know.

Thanks,

Michael

From Brian ******* to Me:

michael thank you for responding. what are your rates? we are expeting about twenty people at are dinner party so will need enough food for all of them. can you supply the food and we reembirse you? also do you have a menu of mealss you cook for us to choose from?

From Me to Brian *******:

Brian,

Supplying the food will not be a problem. I have a wide variety of exquisite dishes for you to choose from, which I will list below. My rates are per person and it depends on the meal, but generally ranges from $20-$40 per person. Here are the meals I typically offer:

La Nouille du Triomphe
A meal of pure bliss and flavor - a delicious plate of ramen noodles boiled in the purest of water. Noodles can be flavored with either chicken or beef seasoning.

Le Repas du Fromage Délicieux
A mouthwatering bowl of easy mac cooked to perfection in a microwave. Served with a side of peanut M&Ms.

Le Repas de la Faim de Grande Personne
A delectably and savory microwaved TV dinner. The dish comes with two pieces of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, freshly grown vegetables and a satisfying brownie that is heated to absolute perfection.

Le Sandwich Rouge
A truly phenominal sandwich consisting of ketchup spread over a carefully microwaved piece of bread, and then topped with another piece of bread. Comes with a side of mayonnaise for dipping.

Dessert

Le Plat du Lait et de la Céréale
A satisfying end to your meal, this dessert consists of a bowl of fruit loops served with either skim or 2% milk. Milk can be substituted with water for those on a diet.

La Pâtisserie Bourrée
Individually wrapped twinkies that have been microwaved to sheer delight.

Let me know which meals you are interested in, and I can give you a quote on how much everything will cost.

Thank you,
Michael

From Brian ******* to Me:

what the fuck you actully cater that shit to people ? yea im gonna serve easy mac and twinkies for christmas dinner are you fuckin kidding me. my son in college could make that shit!

From Me to Brian *******:

Brian,

The twinkes aren't for everyone. I understand if you are on a diet, but for me, nothing celebrates the birth of Jesus like a twinkie and some good easy mac. If you aren't interested in that meal, would you consider any of my other options? My personal favorite is Le Sandwich Rouge. That is also very affordable. For twenty people, it would probably cost you about $400.

Michael

From Brian ******* to Me:

cut the bullshit fancy french names and call it a goddamn gross ass ketchup sanwich

From Me to Brian *******:

Brian,

I am personally offended that you are insulting my masterpiece meals. These are perfected family recipes that have been passed down for generations of chefs in my family. Cooking is my art, and for you to insult me without even trying my work is just plain rude.

Michael

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

Thursday, December 23, 2010

ALAN GETS PUNKED

HAHAHAHAHA, ‘FOCKER’, GET IT ????

Hold your sides and hide your funny bones, folks, there’s a new trailer for Little Fockers on the loose ! This time we find out that Robert DeNiro wants Ben Stiller to become ‘The Godfocker’. Then Barbra Streisand calls her grandkids ‘little fockers.’ And then, just when you thought the hilarity was over, you’ll never believe this, someone says ‘focker’ AGAIN! How do they do it? ‘Focker,’ get it? That his name! It’s funny because it sounds like a swear word! Three movies in and three repetitions deep during the two-minute trailer and it’s still just as fresh as the day they came up with it! 10 years ago !

DON'T LET ZOMBIES RUIN YOUR XMAS

GETTING CLOSE NOW

HUNG OUT TO DRY

Hodgson claims Joe Cole was not his signing

Roy Hodgson has confessed he might not have signed Joe Cole had he been more settled in his role as Liverpool manager when the deal was rubber-stamped.

Hodgson gave the green light to the signing during the summer transfer window, but the foundations had already been laid before his arrival by former managing director, Christian Purslow. Cole arrived on a free transfer, with Liverpool fending off reported interest from Tottenham and Arsenal, but Hodgson confesses he does not consider the England international one of his own signings.



"He's not so much a player I can really take responsibility for. I'd have to share the responsibility for Joe, less so than for people like [Christian] Poulsen, [Raul] Meireles and [Paul] Konchesky, who are players I was quite happy to bring to the club."

Cole has endured a tough first six months to his Liverpool career, earning a red card on his league debut, and he is yet to open his domestic account for the Reds. For a player that has never been blessed with pace or a quality left foot, there are suggestions that Hodgson is playing Cole out of position on the left wing, but the Liverpool manager insists the problem is with the player himself.

"He should be convincing me and everyone watching that this is a player who can help Liverpool win things. And I think you couldn't say that has been the case so far."

MY TV MEMORIES

The Twilight Zone is an American television anthology series created by Rod Serling. Each episode (156 in the original series) is a mixture of self-contained fantasy, science fiction, suspense, or horror, often concluding with a macabre or unexpected twist.

Original series (1959–1964)

Twilight Zone's writers frequently used science fiction as a vehicle for social comment; networks and sponsors who had infamously censored all potentially "inflammatory" material from the then predominant live dramas were ignorant of the methods developed by writers such as Ray Bradbury for dealing with important issues through seemingly innocuous fantasy. Frequent themes include nuclear war, mass hysteria, and McCarthyism, subjects that were strictly forbidden on more "serious" prime-time drama. Episodes such as "The Shelter" or "The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street" offered specific commentary on current events. Other stories, such as "The Masks" or "The Howling Man", operated around a central allegory, parable, or fable that reflected the characters' moral or philosophical choices.

Despite his esteem in the writing community, Serling found The Twilight Zone difficult to sell. Few critics felt that science fiction could transcend empty escapism and enter the realm of adult drama. In a September 22, 1959, interview with Serling, Mike Wallace asked a question illustrative of the times: "...[Y]ou're going to be, obviously, working so hard on The Twilight Zone that, in essence, for the time being and for the foreseeable future, you've given up on writing anything important for television, right?" While Serling's appearances on the show became one of its most distinctive features, with his clipped delivery still widely imitated today, he was reportedly nervous about it and had to be persuaded to appear on camera. Serling often steps into the middle of the action and the characters remain seemingly oblivious to him, but on one notable occasion they are aware he's there: In the episode "A World of His Own", a writer with the power to alter his reality objects to Serling's unflattering narration, and promptly erases Serling from the show.

The original series contained 156 episodes. Seasons 1, 2, 3, 5 were half hour shows. The fourth season (1962–1963) contained one-hour episodes.

ANDY GREY ADDS TO HIS QUOTE-A-RAMA

There’s been a small furor since Monday, when Andy Gray opened his mouth and…well, that’s it – that’s all he really needs to do. I’m convinced he’s one of football commentary’s three most blinding idiots, and the sentiment that Barcelona couldn’t hack it in the Premiership does nothing to alter that stance for the good.


First off, this is what has caused the world to band together and proclaim Gray a buffoon on the level of Souness.

When asked by co-presenter Richard Keys whether he felt Messi and Real Madrid rival Cristiano Ronaldo would be capable of scoring so prolifically in England, Gray stated his belief that the Argentine would “struggle in a cold night at the Britiannia Stadium”, referring to the home of top-flight side Stoke City. He added that “Barcelona would struggle in the EPL as they’ve never played the likes of Stoke.”


Some of Andy’s finest:

“I was in Moldova airport and I went into the duty-free shop – and there wasn’t a duty-free shop.”

“I watched the game, and I saw an awful lot of it.”

“It’s one of the greatest goals ever, but I’m surprised that people are talking about it being the goal of the season.”

“I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area for goalies is between their legs.”

“People say footballers have terrible taste in music but I would dispute that. In the car at the moment I’ve got The Corrs, Cher, Phil Collins, Shania Twain and Rod Stewart.”

“All footballers who take recreational drugs should be hammered.”

“There are a lot of tired legs wearing Tottenham shirts.”

“For my money, Duff servicing people from the left with his balls in there is the best option.”

The man’s no Ray Hudson.

TODAY'S TOP TIP

TIRED OF being nagged to walk the dog ? : Pretend you've already taken it out by unrolling a turkey rasher out the side of its mouth whilst it lies by the fire to give it that shagged out look.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

A Merry Hunt

9TH XMAS SONG

HOW TO GET THE KIDS TO EAT SPROUTS THIS XMAS

Santa's Christmas list has been hacked!

Click the link to find out how you've behaved this year, and what present you'll be getting from Santa




Here's the link -> http://www.santaslisthacked.com/

Skype Outage: Millions Affected Worldwide

BREAKING: Popular Internet telephony service Skype has crashed, inhibiting communication for millions of users trying to phone home for the holidays, according to numerous web reports.


Users across the globe reported issues accessing the service this morning prompting the company to acknowledge the issue on Twitter: "Some of you may have problems signing in to Skype -- we're investigation, and we're sorry for the disruption to your conversations."

Skype followed up with another tweet assuring users that their "engineers and site operations are working non-stop to get things back to normal."

The last major outage occurred in 2007 and lasted an entire day.

MERRY XMAS FROM THE MET POLICE

Thanks for the Tax Cut !

By LARRY DAVID

THERE is a God! It passed! The Bush tax cuts have been extended two years for the upper bracketeers, of which I am a proud member, thank you very much. I’m the last person in the world I’d want to be beside, but I am beside myself! This is a life changer, I tell you. A life changer!

To begin with, I was planning a trip to Cabo with my kids for Christmas vacation. We were going to fly coach, but now with the money I’m saving in taxes, I’m going to splurge and bump myself up to first class. First class! Somebody told me they serve warm nuts up there, and call you “mister.” I might not get off the plane!

I’m also going to call the hotel and get another room so I don’t have to sleep on a cot in the kids’ room. Don’t get me wrong — I love a good cot. The problem is they tend to take up a lot of room, and it’s getting a little tougher in my advancing years to fold it up and drag it to the closet. I mean, I’d do it if I had to, but guess what? I don’t! Not with this windfall coming my way. Now I get to have my own room with a king-sized bed. And who knows, maybe I’ll even get some fancy bottled water from the minibar. This is shaping up to be the best vacation I’ve had in years.

When I get home, thanks to the great compromise, the first thing I’m going to do is get a flat-screen TV. Finally I can throw out the 20-inch Zenith with the rabbit ears, the one I inherited from my parents when they died. The reception is terrible and I’m getting tired of going out to bars every time I want to watch a game. Last month, the antenna broke and I tried to improvise one with a metal hanger and wound up cutting myself. Every time I see that scab, I say to myself, “If, God willing, those Bush tax cuts are restored, I’m going to buy a new TV.” Well, guess what? They have been!

It’s also going to be a boon for my health. After years of coveting them, I’ll finally be able to afford blueberries. Did you know they have a lot of antioxidants, which prevent cancer? Cancer! This tax cut just might save my life. Who said Republicans don’t support health care? I’m going to have the blueberries with my cereal, and I’m not talking Special K. Those days are over. It’s nothing but real granola from now on. The kind you get in the plastic bins in health food stores. Did someone say “organic”?

The only problem is if, God forbid, the tax cuts are repealed in two years, how will I ever go back to Special K and bananas? Well, I did quit smoking, so I’m sure if push came to shove I could summon up the willpower to get off granola and blueberries. Of course, I suppose with the money I managed to save from the “Seinfeld” syndication, I probably could continue to eat granola with blueberries, but let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.

Life was good, and now it’s even better. Thank you, Republicans. And a special thank you to President Obama and the Democrats. I didn’t know you cared.

RAFA BENITEZ SACKED [ Happy Xmas Jose]

Rafa Benítez: I have not been sacked by Inter Milan [Dec 20]

"Benítez e' Fuori!" [Benítez is out] read the front page of this morning's Gazzetta dello Sport. The paper names Zenit St Petersburg manager Luciano Spalletti as favourite to replace Benítez, with former AC Milan manager Leonardo as an alternative [Dec 21]

Rafael Benítez sacked by Inter as unhappy Italian job comes to an end [Dec 22]

Rafael Benítez's unhappy six-month tenure at the European champions, Internazionale, ended tonight when the Spaniard's contract at San Siro was terminated, with the parting of the ways set to be formally confirmed in the next 24 hours.

The Italian club's president, Massimo Moratti, is in the process of negotiating the manager's payoff with the pair's relationship having fractured beyond repair in recent weeks. Benítez claimed Inter's fifth trophy of the year on Saturday when his side won the World Club Cup by defeating the Congolese team TP Mazembe in Abu Dhabi, but the tensions spilled over in his post-match press conference as he effectively served Moratti with an ultimatum to back him in the transfer market next month or sack him.

That leaves Inter to court the former Rossoneri coach Leonardo – there are suggestions talks are already at an advanced stage – to step in to the dug-out for the immediate future, potentially with a view to becoming a technical director at the club at the end of the season when a permanent managerial appointment is made.

So between the £4million he pocketed to walk away from Liverpool in the summer, and the £6million he'll be given to walk away from Inter ......... It seems that Rafa has found a handy loophole to make money in football ....... even the bankers are jealous.

WHEREVER THERE'S A 5 YR CONTRACT I CAN GET PAID FOR IN 6 MONTHS
I'LL BE THERE

Now, wouldn't it be funny if Manchester City sacked Mancini and brought in Benitez ..... gave him £300m to spend and have him turn them into a championship side .......... Rafa has been living off one trophy for far too long, time to own up .... he's a championship manager at best.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

IF YOU THINK YOUR STOMACH CAN TAKE IT ............

THEN CLICK HERE TO SEE THE PEOPLE OF WALMART


Yes, people really do go shopping dressed like this
My apologies to your family if your picture is on there.


Here's the link -> http://izismile.com/2010/02/03/more_walmart_people_117_pics.html#pic32

Spain set to implement tough anti-smoking laws

Spain will be jumping on the anti-smoking bandwagon the first of the year, bringing it up to par with the European Union’s tough stand on smoking in public places.


The Health Commission in Congress on Wednesday voted to approve the new tougher anti-smoking legislation which is expected to be enforced beginning January 2, 2011.

Currently, Spain enjoys relaxed anti-smoking laws, as corner cafes and restaurants are known for being smoke-filled while patrons enjoy the traditional canas (beer) and tapas, then light up to they enjoy their wine or beer. A law passed in 2006 prohibited smoking in the workplace, but allowed owners of restaurants and public eateries to use their own discretion in allowing smoking or not. Most owners continued to allow smoking, causing pundits to label the law as a total failure.

Spain’s restaurant and bar federation predict losses of 145,000 jobs in the industry and a 10 per cent decline in revenue due to the tough anti-smoking law. However, health ministry officials said similar laws have been put into place in Britain and France in recent years and business was not affected that badly, says the Barcelona Reporter. Many disagree with this premise.

The smoking ban was introduced in Ireland in 2004, and resulted in 440 fewer Public House licenses being renewed in 2006 than in 2005 ........... fact.

HELP DAFFY DUCK PARACHUTE ONTO A DESERT ISLAND

A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME ........ BUT GOOD FUN


Here's the link -> http://www.bassfiles.net/parachute.swf

ESPANYOL FANS HAND ANDRES INIESTA A STANDING OVATION

The moments in true derbies which could be described as genuinely peaceful seem few and far between. Those which seem to be almost forced civility, more common. The Barcelona derby on the weekend was perhaps as genuine as it gets; easily one of the most beautiful moments in the sport this year.



Espanyol fans and players alike gave Andres Iniesta a standing ovation and chanted his name – at least one even had an Espanyol shirt with Iniesta on the back.

And yes, it had everything to do with that World Cup goal which brought Spanish jubilation, but nothing to do with the World Cup itself. It had to do with his t-shirt after the historic goal, “Dani Jarque – Always with us.” Dani Jarque, of course, was the Espanyol player who passed away last year, and also a close friend of Iniesta’s.



This gesture, though not unique, was significant, and so too was the reaction of Espanyol fans on the weekend, despite having their hides handed to them at their brand spankin’ new stadium by their city rivals.

A question of Manchester United

Claire Balding is in the chair for a festive quiz show on all things Manchester United with Sir Alex Ferguson and Ryan Giggs as team captains.

PART 1



PART 2

Packard-engined Bentley

More powerful than a Bugatti Veyron and the size of a bus, Chris Williams's Packard-engined Bentley can light up the greyest day.




It's a proper 8-litre chassis with new side rails but original fittings and lugs throughout. The engine is a 41.8-litre, V12, with each cylinder at 3.5-litres. It has 'knife and fork' rods, four-pole magneto ignition and a supercharger the side of a dustbin, which runs at 2.4 times the speed of the engine. The inlet manifold diameter is about six and half inches, that's bigger than my house's septic tank system. It's got three fuel tanks; the main 52-gallon tank and header and scavenge tanks.

THE FACTS

Bentley Packard monoposto

Tested: 41.8-litre Packard V12, four-speed Bentley C-type gearbox and a Bentley Speed Six rear axle running in reverse
Price/on sale: Assuming you could track down a Packard engine and an Eight Litre Bentley, in the region of £350,000. It's not for sale
Power/torque: 1,500bhp @ 2,400rpm/ 2,000lb ft @ 2,400rpm
Top speed: 160mph approx
Acceleration: N/A
Fuel economy: 4 gallons per minute at full chat

Monday, December 20, 2010

DID YOU KNOW ................



DURING WW1 - 10% of all casualties were civilians
DURING WW11 - 50% of all casualties were civilians
DURING THE VIETNAM WAR - 70% of all casualties were civilians
DURING THE IRAQ WAR - 90% of all casualties are civilians [more than 1 million so far]

THE DIGITAL STORY OF THE NATIVITY

NOT EVERYONE'S CUP OF TEA

I JUST HAD SEX

LOL

MUSIC OF THE GODS

Stabat Mater is a 13th-century Roman Catholic hymn to Mary. The title of the sorrowful hymn is an abbreviation of the first line, Stabat mater dolorosa ("The sorrowful mother stood").

WORLDS LARGEST REMOTE CONTROLLED MODEL PLANE

The Boeing B-50 Superfortress is classified as a light aircraft and is licensed by the Civil Aviation Authority.

Built by Tony Nijhuis in his garage the aircraft is a scale version of the US 1950s bomber, has a 20ft wingspan and weighs just over seven stones.

It took Mr Nijhuis, from Hastings, East Sussex, two years to make the radio-controlled plane that he calls the 'jolly green giant' and cost him £8,000.


Worlds Largest Model RC Plane - Watch more Funny Videos

It has 96 batteries that power four electric motors which drive the aircraft to 40mph along a 50m runway before it takes off.
It can then fly for eight minutes in the air before it has to descend so the batteries can be recharged.
Made from balsa wood and plywood, the plane also has workable bomb bay doors and pneumatic landing gear.

DID YOU KNOW ................

The home club [CHELSEA fC] cannot make the decision to call off a premiership match.

The decision to postpone the eagerly-awaited clash between Chelsea and Manchester United was taken by the Metropolitan Police and Hammersmith and Fulham Council.

Health and safety concerns meant the Barclays Premier League fixture was postponed more than 27 hours before Sunday's scheduled 4pm kick-off.


A Chelsea spokesman said: 'The match was postponed on health and safety grounds. The decision was taken in consultation between the local authority, the club and the police.

Some train services between Manchester and Euston were cancelled yesterday afternoon but the District Line on the London Underground, which serves Stamford Bridge, reported a 'good service'.

There would have been no problems with the pitch. Stamford Bridge has a water pipe system, which acts like a radiator as hot water is pumped under the pitch. A police spokesman said: 'There were concerns over public safety. Clubs generally do a very good job of getting the stadium fit for use, but travel to and from the game would have been difficult.

8TH XMAS SONG

THE ASSASSINATION OF YOGI BEAR BY THE COWARD BOO BOO

Sunday, December 19, 2010

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN .................

Julian Assange and Mark Zuckerberg ?

Julian Assange give's you private information on corporations for free and he's a villain.

Mark Zuckerberg gives your private information to corporations for money and he's Time Magazine's Man of the Year."

Great news in the Xmas sales - Law firm offers sale on divorces

A solicitor's firm is offering a special Christmas half-price sale on divorces. Hine Solicitors in Oxfordshire thinks that so many couples realise over Christmas that they are better off alone, it has begun its special festive promotion with thousands of flyers.


Couples who once said "I love you" but now say pretty much the opposite thing day in day out, can take advantage of the offer just after Christmas.

If they are lucky they could be spending New Year with a lover and it won't be adultery.

And it will cost them £400 in legal work, instead of the normal £800. They could spend the money they save on short holiday with a toy boy or secretary.

January is the most popular month for divorces as the holiday season proves to people that they really were not meant to spend much time together.

THE MIAMI DEVICE

Back in 1986, if you were male and suffered from stubble envy -- a disturbance characterized by a desire to have an always budding beard like TV star Don Johnson -- you may have wanted to pick up an electric razor that went on the market that spring, costing only $29.95 and leaving you with a 5 o'clock shadow 24 hours a day.

It was called the Stubble Device. The Wahl Clipper Corp. of Sterling, Ill. made it expressly to capitalize on the sandpaper-chin look popularized by the Miami Vice sleuth. Rather than suffer the embarrassment of a clean shave, you could keep your beard fashionably semi-trimmed with the machine's handy one-to-five-day growth settings. The razor was originally called The Miami Device. But the company feared a trademark infringement lawsuit by the show's producers and -- even worse -- were afraid that Johnson could up and adopt a razor-clean look at a press agent's notice.

Radio DJ causes controversy by smoking salvia while on air

A Saskatoon radio disc jockey has caused controversy by smoking the hallucinogenic herb salvia during a live broadcast, and then allowing a video of the experience to be posted online.


The DJ, who goes by the name Ryder, said he was concerned about a video of Miley Cyrus smoking the drug and he wanted to show that it should not be used for fun. He smoked salvia during Ryder and Brandy's "The Big Show" on Wired 96.3 FM on December 16.

"I wanted, needed to show people that it wasn't just a fun party drug, that it was actually very serious," the CBC quoted him as saying.

The video, which is about 12 minutes long, was posted online and has been viewed by thousands of people. In it Ryder is seen smoking and then quickly showing effects.

“This is so weird,” he says as he leans forward with a red face.

“Why am I looking at the floor?” he asks at one point. “What the hell is going on?”

While still seated on the chair he asks why he is lying on the floor.



The station received calls from people who were upset about what Ryder did, as well as from people who applauded them for attempting to discourage young people from using salvia.

The Canadian Broadcast Standards Council also received complaints.

"I didn't have fun," the CBC quoted Ryder as saying. "If that's the perception some people are getting when they watch the video, they are wrong."

He said he won't smoke it again, and wants it made illegal. The radio station posted links for a petition on their Facebook page.

There are hundreds of species of salvia, including ornamental plants and those used in cooking. The hallucinogenic variety is salvia divinorum.

It grows in the Sierra Madre Mountains in Mexico and was used in by shamans in rituals.

Salvia divinorum (also known as Diviner’s Sage, ska María Pastora, Seer’s sage, and by its genus name Salvia) is a psychoactive plant which can induce dissociative effects. Its native habitat is within cloud forest in the isolated Sierra Mazateca of Oaxaca, Mexico, growing in shady and moist locations. The plant grows to over a meter high, has hollow square stems, large leaves, and occasional white flowers with violet calyx. Botanists have not determined whether Salvia divinorum is a cultigen or a hybrid; native plants reproduce vegetatively, rarely producing viable seed.

Salvia divinorum remains legal in most countries and, within the United States, is legal in the majority of states. However, some have called for its prohibition. While not currently regulated by US federal drug laws, several states have passed laws criminalizing the substance. Some proposed state bills have failed to progress and have not been made into law (with motions having been voted down or otherwise dying in committee stages). There have not been many publicized prosecutions of individuals violating anti-salvia laws in the few countries and states in which it has been made illegal.

Salvia divinorum, a psychoactive plant, is currently legal in most countries. Current exceptions, countries where there is some form of control, include Australia, Belgium, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, Germany, Italy, Spain, and Sweden.

Scientific researchers say the public is right to be concerned about the herb’s growing abuse. But some say salvia is also showing promise in legitimate laboratory research.

Salvia divinorum’s active ingredient, Salvinorin A, is a powerful hallucinogen, “as potent as LSD, and essentially, the most potent naturally occurring hallucinogenic drug,” says Dr. Bryan Roth, a biochemist and neuroscientist at Case Western Reserve University.

Roth also directs the National Institute of Mental Health’s Psychoactive Drug Screening Program. Three years ago, he and others in his Cleveland lab discovered how Salvinorin A affects the brain.

“What we found is quite remarkable and unprecedented among naturally occurring drugs of abuse,” Roth says. “This compound seems to have absolute specificity for a single receptor site on the brain.”

Studies have shown that Salvinorin A works in the same place in the brain as morphine and related pain reducers known as opioids.

“There’s been some showing that by modulating opioid receptors, you can potentially treat stimulant abuse,” says Thomas Prisinzano, a University of Iowa professor in the division of medicinal and natural products chemistry.

Most studies of salvia’s effect on the brain have been on rodents, and no one knows yet whether the results can be duplicated in humans. Such scientific developments still may be a long way off.

Other medical, biochemical and pharmacological scientists have published early studies suggesting that research on Salvia divinorum and Salvinorin A might eventually lead to new drugs that could be used to treat Alzheimer’s, schizophrenia and other diseases.

“The bottom line is, we really don’t know enough and we need to know more,” Prisinzano says. “The field is really beginning to grow, and we are beginning to know and understand more of what Salvia and Salvinorin A are able to do in the body.”

He and others worry that classifying Salvia as a Schedule One drug of abuse — a class that includes marijuana and LSD — could slow or even halt promising research. Yet because of salvia’s powerful effects, few believe that the drug shouldn’t be regulated at all.

TODAY'S TOP TIP

HALITOSIS SUFFERERS : Try to regulate your breathing so that you breathe out when everybody else does.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

7TH XMAS SONG

Coronation Street to be rebuilt with a new, larger set

The set of Coronation Street and its studios, home to the UK's longest-running soap drama, are to be rebuilt at a new larger site.


The new street will have the same old-style cobbles and terraced-housing and will still house the Rovers Return public house and Kabin shop.



Filming currently takes place at the Granada complex in central Manchester and will relocate to Trafford Wharf, near Salford Quays. The option for expansion is also there as the new 7.7 acre site could see the fictional Weatherfield town expanded. It is being rebuilt to withstand the rigours of high-definition television, which is set to be standard viewing within three years.

The current set has been in use since 1982 and its tiny terrace, smaller than real houses, will be constructed to larger homes to accommodate the high-def TV viewing experience, reports BBC Entertainment.

Coronation Street creator Tony Warren based the street on a terraced row of houses based in Salford, Manchester. Originally, it was going to be called Florizel Street. It first begun recording in 1960; and on 17 September 2010 became the world's longest-running TV soap opera currently in production. The 50-year long saga is shown regularly at prime-time in several countries including Ireland, Canada, New Zealand and Australia.

South Florida experiences coldest temperature in 169 years

Cold temperatures are spreading across the landscape of the United States. Some states are experiencing temperatures that haven't been felt in more than a century. Southern Florida is one of those states.


At this time of the year, vacationers head down south to the beautiful state of Florida for their sandy beaches, warm temperatures and sunshine. But Floridians woke up to the coldest temperatures in 169 years on Tuesday.

According to the Sun Sentinel, cities like Fort Lauderdale had temperatures in the low-40s (4 degrees Celsius) but it felt more like in the mid-30s (1 degree Celsius) because of the wind chill factor. At 7:24 a.m., Fort Lauderdale broke the 169-year-old record when the temperature dipped to 40 degrees Fahrenheit.

Friday, December 17, 2010

TODAYS JOKE

A 90-year-old man was having his annual checkup. The doctor asked him how he was feeling. "Ive never been better", the old man replied. "Ive got an eighteen-year-old wife whos pregnant & delivered a child. What is your opinion about that, Doc ?" the old man asked.

The doctor thought for a moment, then says, "Well, let me tell you a story. I know a guy who is a hunter. He never misses a season for hunting. But, one day hes in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. The doctor continued, So hes walking in the woods near a creek, and suddenly he spots a lion in some bush in front of him. He raises up his umbrella, points it at the lion and squeezes the handle.

BAM !!!

The lion drops dead in front of him".

"Thats impossible!" said the old man in disbelief. "Someone else must have shot that lion."

"Exactly" Said the Doctor.

DID YOU KNOW ................

The US Government Holds the Patent For Medical Marijuana

On the one hand, United States federal government officials have consistently denied that marijuana has any medical benefits. On the other, the government actually holds patents for the medical use of the plant.

Just check out US Patent 6630507 titled "Cannabinoids as antioxidants and neuroprotectants" which is assigned to The United States of America, as represented by the Department of Health and Human Services.


The patent claims that "Cannabinoids have been found to have antioxidant properties, unrelated to NMDA receptor antagonism. This new found property makes cannabinoids useful in the treatment and prophylaxis of wide variety of oxidation associated diseases, such as ischemic, age-related, inflammatory and autoimmune diseases. The cannabinoids are found to have particular application as neuroprotectants, for example in limiting neurological damage following ischemic insults, such as stroke and trauma, or in the treatment of neurodegenerative diseases, such as Alzheimer's disease, Parkinson's disease and HIV dementia."

The patent was obtained in October of 2003.

The US government may hold this patent, but that will not stop their officials from consistently denying the benefits of medical marijuana. An FDA spokesperson, for instance, has claimed that "smoked marijuana has no currently accepted or proven medical use in the United States and is not an approved medical treatment."

I guess she didn't get the memo.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Arizona latest state to legalize medical marijuana

The final tally is in and by the narrow margin of 4,341 votes, Arizona becomes the 15th state to legalize the use of medical marijuana.

The new law will allow patients (with a recommendation from a licensed physician) suffering from "chronic or debilitating" diseases such as cancer, HIV/AIDS, Hepatitis C, or other diseases meeting state guidelines to buy 2 1/2 ounces of marijuana every two weeks or grow their own plants.

It will allow for the maximum of 124 non-profit dispensaries, proportionate to the number of pharmacies in the state, along with patients permitted to cultivate up to 12 plants if they live more than 25 miles away from the nearest dispensary.

Arizona voters previously approved the use of medical marijuana twice before, back in 1996 and 1998 but it was never implemented due to problems in the wording of the laws.

THE ONE RONNIE

British comedy icon Ronnie Corbett admits he felt a bit guilty doing a Christmas show without his late partner Ronnie Barker, who was the other half of the Two Ronnies.


The pair had been a staple of Christmas comedy on BBC television in the UK till Barker’s death in 2005. The last time they appeared together was in The Two Ronnies Christmas Sketchbook, transmitted after Barker’s death that October.



The show planned for this Christmas is called The One Ronnie and is in recognition of the veteran star’s 80th birthday. In it he’ll be starring with younger comic talents, and the show has been produced by Little Britain stars Matt Lucas and David Walliams.

Among Corbett’s co-stars are Harry Enfield, Catherine Tate, Rob Brydon, Miranda Hart, Charlotte Church, Robert Lindsay, Matt Lucas and David Walliams.

Corbett is quoted as saying: “It [recording the show without Barker] was really quite touching and at the end it was difficult for me not to be saying, ‘And it’s goodnight from me and it’s goodnight from him.’ So yes, it really was quite touching.”

The “goodnight from me” line always ended The Two Ronnies, as Corbett would say, “And it’s goodnight from me” and Barker, sitting alongside him, would say, “And it’s goodnight from him.”

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE

ROUND 2

AS ROMA - FC SHAKHTAR DONETSK
AC MILAN - TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR FC
VALENCIA CF - FC SHALKE 04
FC INTERNAZIONAL - FC BAYERN MUNCHEN
OLYMPIQUE LYONNAISE - REAL MADRID CF
ARSENAL FC - FC BARCELONA
OLYMPIQUE MARSEILLE - MAN UNITED FC
FC COPENHAGEN - CHELSEA FC

Director Blake Edwards dies aged 88

Blake Edwards, director, writer, and producer of iconic Hollywood films such as 'Breakfast at Tiffany's', '10', and 'The Pink Panther', has died at the age of 88.


According to the BBC Edwards' wife of 41 years, actress Julie Andrews, 75 and other members of his family were at his side when he passed away.

Edwards was hospitalized for two weeks at St. John's Medical Center in Santa Monica before dying last night from complications with pneumonia.

Despite being confined to a wheelchair for two years (due to problems with his knees), the Oklahoma born director was working on two Broadway musicals, including prohibition era stage production 'Big Rosemary' and a 'Pink Panther' musical at the time of his death.

Gene Schwan, Edwards publicist said: "His heart was as big as his talent. He was an Academy Award winner in all respects."

In addition to his work on the big screen, such as 1959's 'Operation Petticoat' (starring Cary Grant and Tony Curtis), he wrote for several TV shows ('Four Star Playhouse', 'Chevron Hall of Stars')and was also the creator of TV series' 'Peter Gunn', and 'Mr. Lucky'.

In 2004, he was given an Honorary Academy Award for his extraordinary body of work spanning 58 years.

Camelot Smashalot - No spam involved

PLAY IT HERE - > http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/gamesblog/interactive/2010/dec/13/monty-python-camelot-smashalot-game

Oooooooo .....


base 10 by jamesspada on WeGIF

TODAY'S TOP TIP

US TROOPS : Catch members of the Taliban by setting large mousetraps in the Tora Bora hills and baiting them with a little girl learning to read.

SOME THINGS NEVER DIE

6TH XMAS SONG

31 year old Guy Daniels Francis has Tourette’s syndrome, a condition that has many manifestations. He happens to have the type that causes swear words and weird gestures to emerge from him without warning. Francis has it bad. Yet he has found an outlet on YouTube that’s helped him if not deal with his condition, then at least get through his day.

NOT IN ANY WAY SAFE FOR WORK [over 18]

Oh Nigella, you are awful ..... but I do like you.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Miley Cyrus Sex Tape Hoax Spreading On Facebook

In the latest installment of “Watch your most beloved/hated pop star do nasty things by clicking on this Facebook link!”, an alleged Miley Cyrus sex tape is circulating on Facebook, but the whole thing is (surprise!) a scam. Let us know if you’ve seen this on your News Feed.

In October, it was a supposed sex tape involving Lindsey Lohan which got people rsvp-ing to events that would link them to the video; of course, in reality the whole thing was about making you complete sale forms online, and the video didn’t exist. Then, it was Justin Bieber’s turn, and the promise to see the teen pop star during a “happy” moment actually spread spam and malware to your Facebook friends.

Now, it appears that a new scam is spreading on Facebook, though we still have to see it materialize in our News Feeds. According to Sophos, a status update that goes, “omg Miley Cyrus sex tape [plus link]” is taking over some legitimate Facebook user accounts. It is unclear how the users’ accounts are being compromised at the moment, although the website that the link takes you to is obviously malignant. Do not click on it!

Have you seen this on your page/news feed?

The Tree of Life (2011) - Trailer (HD)

In October 2007, Bill Pohlad announced plans to produce this project through River Road. Sean Penn and Heath Ledger were involved in talks to star. In December 2007, Brad Pitt was reported to be in talks to replace Ledger, while Penn remained attached in a supporting role for the film.

The namesake of the film is a large live oak tree that was excavated from property a few miles outside Smithville. The 65,000 pound tree and root ball was trucked into Smithville and replanted.



The Tree of Life is the impressionistic story of a Midwestern family in the 1950′s. The film follows the life journey of the eldest son, Jack, through the innocence of childhood to his disillusioned adult years as he tries to reconcile a complicated relationship with his father. Jack finds himself a lost soul in the modern world, seeking answers to the origins and meaning of life while questioning the existence of faith.

FOUR LOKO NO MORE

An alcopop that’s built up a cult following is being removed from US stores in its current form today on the orders of the Food and Drug Administration.


The passing of the popular drink has been mourned with almost religious fervour by its fans. But it will now disappear in its current formulation.

Four Loko has as much caffeine as a large coffee and is about three times as alcoholic – at 12% – as average-strength beer.

There were reports that students were becoming dangerously drunk on the product. The alcohol–caffeine mix is, says the BBC, “a combination those who drink it say tastes great and makes you feel good. But others describe it as a ‘blackout in a can’, and blame it for landing a number of students in hospital.”

“Four Loko is one of a range of such drinks on sale in the US, including Joose and Core El Jefe. Last month, the US Food and Drug Administration called on the top four manufacturers to take them out of circulation by 13 December.”

Four Loko will continue to be sold, but without the caffeine.

Time magazine names Mark Zuckerberg 2010 'Person of the Year'

Mark Zuckerberg, CEO of the social media giant Facebook, is Time magazine's 2010 Person of the Year. He beat out the runners-up Julian Assange and the Tea Party.

Time magazine's most influential person of the year is Zuckerberg, the 26-year-old computer whiz behind the social media network boasting close to 600 million members worldwide. Zuckerberg is a year older than Time's first Person of the Year, Charles Lindbergh.

Last year, the Person of the Year honour went to Ben Bernanke, Chairman of the United States Federal Reserve, which is, lest we forget ... a privately owned Bank and only 'Federal' in the same way as Federal Express is [not]................. say's it all, doesn't it ?

Sandra Bullock named 'Woman of the Year' by People magazine

Sandra Bullock has been honored with yet another well deserved distinction – People magazine has named her Woman of the Year and the most intriguing person on its Most Intriguing Newsmakers list.
"Bad things happen, but she celebrates the good ones," a source said of Bullock, reports People Magazine. "And Louis [her son] is a wonderful celebration of good things."

The magazine honored the 46-year-old actress following an eventful year of ups and downs that included an Oscar win for the movie The Blind Side,[not to mention a Razzie for her performance in the dismal romantic comedy All About Steve: making her the first person to collect an Oscar and a Razzie in the same year], the adoption of her son Louis and a divorce from television personality and bad-boy Jesse James.

According to People, the actress does not have any plans to adopt another child and she’s currently deciding on her next project – reportedly she has her pick from a pile of Hollywood’s hottest scripts

The AMAZING Sunny Seat cat bed !

Are you sick of scraping dead cat flesh off your cooker hob ?

DRINKING AND DIVING

HOW MANY CAN YOU REMEMBER ?

Here we have a compilation of 270 movies from 2010, all crammed into one, delightful musical video, great for remember “the year that was” and so forth. Admit it, you forgot that half of these came out this year, didn’t you.

A CANADIAN XMAS JOKE

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.’In honor of this holy season’ Saint Peter said, ‘You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.’The man from Nova Scotia fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. ‘It represents a candle’, he said.’You may pass through the pearly gates’ Saint Peter said. The man from Saskatchewan reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, ‘They’re bells.’Saint Peter said ‘You may pass through the pearly gates’.The Newfoundlander started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s panties.St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, ‘And just what do those symbolize?’The Newfie replied, ‘These are Carols.’ And So The Christmas Season Begins ...

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Ferguson stunned as Blackburn sack boss Sam Allardyce

Sir Alex Ferguson has described the sacking of his good friend, Blackburn manager Sam Allardyce as "absolutely ridiculous".

"I've never heard of such a stupid decision in all my life," said Ferguson, a close friend of Allardyce.

Allardyce's BFF went on to say, "I don't know what they're doing up there, but deary me. It confounds common sense. Absolutely ridiculous."

Although results this season have been mixed, the low point being a 7-1 thrashing by [best friend] Ferguson's United last month, Blackburn lie 13th in the table, so the decision by the club's new Indian owners to replace a man spoken of as a possible future England boss was a major shock.

Allardyce's last game in charge was Sunday's 2-1 defeat by Bolton, the club where he established his managerial reputation.

MAN UTD 7  - BLACKBURN 1

"I had to pop in to see the chairman (John Williams) and he presented the rather shocking news to me," Allardyce told Sky Sports.

"It was obviously unexpected, but that's the world of football today.

"It hasn't really been explained to me and I'm a little confused in my own mind at the moment, but the reality will kick in in a couple of days.

"It's up to them now where they take the club forward. I'm not a part of it, I'm very disappointed about that and would have liked to have been a part of it - but I'm not."

Poor ol' Ferguson will miss the his good friend in the second half of the season no doubt, not all Premiership managers will simply roll over and give United all 3 points to help them win the Prem. It will be interesting if Big Sam gets the Weat Ham job ......... they play United in April 2011 .......... 10 nil anyone ?