Wednesday, February 29, 2012

MEN IN HIDING

THOUSANDS of men left for work at 5am this morning to avoid being proposed at.

Tradition dictates that on 29 February women are allowed under the ancient rites of common law to corner their partner and force him to stop fucking about.

Historians date the practice back to AD 61 when Queen Boudica told her boyfriend she would not lead a single Iceni to revolt until he explained why he never left any tunics or even a toothbrush round at her place.

Carlisle office manager Nikki Hollis said: "I'm actually on the brink of breaking up with my partner for a number of compatibility, emotional and cock-related reasons but I bought a ten quid Argos ring just to see the look of horror on his face this morning.

"Having the bedroom window reglazed is going to cost two hundred quid but it was totally worth it to watch his pale, flabby arse flying out of it."

FACHTNA O'SHAUGHNESSY SAID: 'I'D
RATHER WATCH MAMA MIA AGAIN'
Offices were opened first thing by security guards who are perfectly happy the way things are without having to complicate matters and productivity has soared as male staff get on with their jobs rather than risk seeing an email entitled 'A Very Special Question'.

Fachtna O'Shaughnessy, a Llama herder from Carrigaline, said: "Like most men I'll instantly answer 'yes' to anything that avoids sobbing, a conversation or being called a prick by somebody's mother.

"Therefore I have eaten the sim card from my phone, I've made a nest under my desk out of printer paper and I'm wearing a camouflage onesie.

"I don't have a fear of commitment. I have a fear of needing to give a monkey's fuck about floral arrangements."

OUR CRAZY WORLD

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS ...........

Krysten Ritter, who plays the B**** also starred in Breaking Bad, season 2 as Jesse's girlfriend/landlord ...... and Bryan Cranston/Walt was responsible for her death ... lol

Ritter moved to New York City at the age of 18 and established an international modeling career in print ads and on television. She did magazine, catalog, and runway work in New York, Milan, Paris and Tokyo. Ritter modeled for about 5 years.

She now juggles careers as a writer, a musician and an actor ..... She sings and plays guitar in a band named "Ex Vivian" in her spare time.

This is one very busy lady.

Monday, February 27, 2012

FINALLY .... A MOVIE EVERYONE CAN ENJOY

DO YOU THINK HE KNOWS ?

OR COULD IT BE THAT HE REALIZES THAT THIS PICTURE COULD END UP ON SOMEONES BLOG ?

'SPRING IS COMING'

USE MORE ELECTRICITY .... OR PAY THE PRICE

MORE THAN 100,000 domestic customers of Electric Ireland have begun receiving higher electricity bills – because they are not using enough electricity.

A new “low user standing charge” was introduced by the ESB-controlled supplier with effect from February 1st, targeting customers who “use an average of 2 units (2 kWhs) or less per day in any billing period”.

Households not using enough electricity are seeing their bills increase by 15.5 cent a day, or €9.45 per two-monthly bill, or €56.70 per year.

Domestic customers have been informed of the increase in bill inserts, in some cases by letter, in the past fortnight.


Among them was Philip Campbell, who lives in Harold’s Cross, Dublin, who has cut his electricity use dramatically in the past few months to save money.

“My bills used to be about €250 but I have got that down to between €80 and €125 per bill, just by being a lot more careful.”

He says he was alarmed when he got the letter last Thursday. “It’s just annoying to think that I’ve been making all this effort to save electricity and now I might be charged more. I think I would easily sometimes use less than two units a day.”

However, an ESB spokesman said the increase was “really aimed at vacant dwellings and premises, or holiday homes that are vacant most of the year”. The average daily use over the billing period would be measured, he said.

“Two units per day would be consumed by, for example, a small fridge-freezer on all day, by cooking on a small plate for 20 minutes, by having four 60W bulbs on for three hours, or by running a cycle on a washing machine.”

He said the company was incurring losses on dwellings with “very low consumption” of electricity.

“There are ongoing costs, including meter reading, sending out bills, administration, customer service, which are associated with providing electricity and we have been making a loss on about 10 per cent of our accounts.”

The company has 1.3 million domestic accounts. The average household uses 14 units per day.

“This extra charge will enable us to recover these losses. This is not about discouraging energy-efficiency. The other option was to increase all customers’ standing charges.”

The extra charge will only apply to electricity accounts and not gas.

Asked if someone could save money by having their electricity disconnected while their dwelling was vacant, the spokesman said it would be matter for the individual. “They would have to bear in mind there is a charge for disconnection and reconnection of about €70 each, plus VAT.”

Both Airtricity and Bord Gáis said they were not planning an increased low-user standing charge for energy. In urban areas, Airtricity’s daily standing charge for electricity is 36.3 cent per day, and Bord Gáis’s is 32 cent per day. This now compares to 48.3 cent per day for Electric Ireland.

There are on average 100 gas and electricity disconnections everyday in Ireland.

WE ALL KNOW ONE

Sunday, February 26, 2012

HE'S AT IT AGAIN

If you saw someone with a facial disfigurement walking down the street, would you A) Laugh at them B) Point at them C) Call them names or D) Carry on walking ? If your answer is D then you shouldn’t have found Jeremy Clarkson’s latest comments the least bit funny.


In a recent episode of Top Gear, Clarkson compared the size of a new Japanese car to people with growths on their faces; mimicking Joseph Merrick (the Elephant Man) in the process: “You know sometimes you meet someone and they have a growth on their face and it is bigger than their face… one of those really ugly things”. The audience laughed, and the so-called joke was included in the Thursday repeat. It was an odious TV performance. Further into the joke he said the car looked like something you wouldn’t speak to at a party unless you were looking at something else.

REALLY JEREMY .... THIS FROM A MAN WITH THAT GROWING OUT OF HIS NECK ?
DOES JEREMY CLARKSON OWN A MIRROR BY ANY CHANCE ?

THE REAL FACE OF LIVERPOOL AT WEMBLEY

An emotional Kenny Dalglish described Liverpool's Carling Cup final victory as the start of a new era of success for the Anfield club after they overcame a late scare and dramatic penalty shootout against Cardiff City to collect their first trophy in six years.

Dalglish was visibly moved after Anthony Gerrard's final spot-kick flashed wide of José Reina's goal – one of five penalties missed in total after the game finished 2-2 after extra time. He admitted the victory was a repayment to supporters for the troubled times of recent years. "I was emotional. This means a lot to an awful lot of people and that is what this club stands for. All we try to do is make them as happy as we possibly can and hopefully this makes up for the days when it hasn't been like that."

AND HERE ARE SOME OF THOSE TROUBLED LIVERPOOL FANS

3 AGAINST 1 IS THE LIVERPOOL WAY

THE UNLUCKY CARDIFF SUPPORTER WHO WAS IN THE WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME

And in other news ....... Charlie Adam's penalty just landed in my back garden !

WHAT DO YOU CALL A MAN CARRYING 10 MUGS AND NO CUPS ?






GANNICUS RETURNICUS !

Felicitations and salutations brothers ...... Gannicus returns in Spartacus: Vengeance and sets to purpose.

Gannicus has been wandering over the years and indulging to the point where he is quoted to be "light in coin". This prompts him to return to Capua, the place where his prestiege and reputation was established in search for means to finance his endeavors. In exchange for fighting in the arena once again, he is given an amount of coin by a local organizer of the games who is thrilled by his presence.

After making his extravagant reintroduction in the arena, he is comfronted by Oenomaus who questions him about having an affair with Melitta. Upon hesitation, Oenomaus is enraged and begins to deal heavy blows against him.

Shortly after Spartacus and his men begin their assault on the colosseum, Gannicus continues to fight Oenomaus is single handed combat with short instances of interruptions from other Gladiators. The battle continues and it seems as though both fighters are equal in skill until Gannicus is able to disarm Oenomaus who is at a disadvantage from being chained and equiped with a badly damaged sword. As Gannicus is about to deal the fatal blow at Oenomaus, the stands collapse on top of them and they are buried underneath.

Like many of the main (or highly skilled) gladiator characters, Gannicus fights in the Dimachaeri class, which uses two swords for fighting.

Friday, February 24, 2012

GHOST RIDER FANS WARNED NOT TO SET THEIR HEADS ON FIRE

FANS of the character Ghost Rider have been warned to stop emulating their hero by setting their heads alight.

The comic book character is also the subject of poor quality films starring Nicholas Cage, the latest of which Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance has just been released in the UK.

A & E doctor Emma Bradford said: "Since the Ghost Rider sequel came out we've seen a huge increase in people who've deliberately set their own heads on fire.

"They failed to understand that, as well as being a fictional character, Ghost Rider's Johnny Blaze is supernatural in origin.

"My advice to anyone considering setting their own head on fire is to ask themselves, are you an undead former stunt biker escaped from Hell in a desperate bid to win your soul back, or are you the actor Nicholas Cage, playing that character?
TOLIVER BOONE III

"If the answer to both those questions is 'no', do not strike that match."

Ghost Rider fan Toliver Boone III, a native of Fayette in Tennessee, whose head was on fire, said: "It hurts, it hurts so very much."

Fellow fan Nikki Hollis said: "Of course I wouldn't set my head on fire. I'm a woman, the character is male, therefore it wouldn't be logical."

It is not the first time Nicholas Cage films have triggered self-harming acts among viewers.

In 2006 audience members of The Wicker Man put cages containing angry bees on their heads in a gesture that mimicked the film's final scenes as well as being an emotional response to the experience.

DID YOU KNOW ................

Lobsters may live forever !!

Recent research suggests that lobsters may not slow down, weaken, or lose fertility with age. In fact, older lobsters are more fertile than younger lobsters. This longevity may be due to telomerase, an enzyme that repairs DNA sequences of the form "TTAGGG". This sequence is often referred to as the telomeres of the DNA. It has been argued that lobsters may exhibit negligible senescence and some scientists have claimed that they could effectively live indefinitely, barring injury, disease, capture, etc. Their longevity allows them to reach impressive sizes. According to the Guinness World Records, the largest lobster was caught in Nova Scotia, Canada, and weighed 20.15 kilograms (44.4 lb).

Feb 23 - The biggest lobster ever caught in Maine, a 27-pounder (12.25 kg) nicknamed "Rocky" with claws tough enough to snap a man's arm, was released back into the ocean on Thursday after being trapped in a shrimp net last week, marine officials said.

ROCKY WITH HIS HANDLER MICKEY GOLDMILL
The 40-inch (one-meter) male crustacean, about the size of a 3-year-old child, was freed in the waters of the Atlantic Ocean, said Elaine Jones, education director for the state's Department of Marine Resources.

"All the weight is in the claws," Jones said. "It would break your arm."

The lobster was caught near the seaside village of Cushing and brought to the Maine State Aquarium in West Boothbay.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO GOOGLE THIS

How to delete your Google browsing history in three simple steps . . . before it's too late to hide your secrets


There is just a week to go until Google controversially changes its privacy policy to allow it to gather, store and use personal information about its users.

But there is one way to stymie the web giant's attempts to build a permanent profile of you that could include personal information including age, gender, locality and even sexuality.

From March 1, you won't be able to opt out of the new policy, which has been criticised by privacy campaigners who have filed a complaint to U.S. regulators.

But before that date you can delete your browsing history and, which will limit the extent to which Google records your every move - including your embarrasing secrets. Here's how:

1. Go to the Google homepage and sign into your account. Use the dropdown menu under your name in the upper right-hand corner to access your settings. Click on 'account settings', like below.



2. Next, find the section called 'Services' and you'll see a link to 'View, enable, or disable web history', shown in the red box below. Click on it.



3. Finally, you can remove all of your search details by clicking on 'Remove Web History', shown in the red box below. Once you have done this your history will remain disabled until you turn it back on.



Although disabling web history will not prevent Google from gathering and storing this information and using it for internal purposes, but it mean the Web giant will anonymise the data in 18 months.

It will also prevent it from certain kinds of uses, including sending you customized search results.

If you don't sign in, Google will track your searches via the computer's IP address. The only way to clear your personal history is by signing in.

While it is not known exactly how Google would use your combined information, the policy has been widely criticised.

The Center for Digital Democracy has filed a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission.

It has asked the FTC to sue Google to stop the policy change and to fine the company.

If successful, the the FTC can impose fines up to $16,000 per day for each violation.

Privacy problems are particularly pertinent to those who share a Google account with other members of their family.

For example if one person searches for pictures of scantily clad women, the next family member to use the internet may find themselves being recommended a bikini contest on YouTube.

Cecilia Kang, of the Washington Post, described collation of vast tracts of information as a ‘massive cauldron of data.’

‘Privacy advocates say Google's changes betray users who are not accustomed to having their information shared across different Web sites.’ she said.

‘A user of Gmail, for instance, may send messages about a private meeting with a colleague and may not want the location of that meeting to be thrown into Google's massive cauldron of data or used for Google's maps application.’

Technology site Gizmodo said that the change was the end of Google’s ‘don’t be evil motto.

The site’s Mat Honan wrote: ‘It means that things you could do in relative anonymity today, will be explicitly associated with your name, your face, your phone number.

'If you use Google's services, you have to agree to this new privacy policy. It is an explicit reversal of its previous policies.’

Larry Dignan, meanwhile, writing on ZDnet.com, described the new policy as ‘Big Brother-ish’.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

TODAYS JOKE

Condom Factory burns down in Australia!

Kevin Rudd, Prime Minister of Australia, is awoken at 4am by the telephone.

"Kevin, its the health Minister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency !!! I've just received word that the Condom factory in Sydney has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire Australian supply of condoms will be gone by the end of the week !"

PM: "SNAP !!! - the economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies - we'll be ruined !!"

Health Minister: "We're going to have to ship some in from....Britain ?"

PM: "No chance !! The Poms will have a field day on this one !!"

Health Minister: "What about South Africa ?"

PM: "I'll call SA - tell them we need ten million condoms; ten inches long and eight inches thick !! That way they'll continue to respect the wallabies !"

Three days later a delighted Kevin rushes out to open the boxes.
He finds ten million condoms, 10 inches long, 8 inches thick, all coloured green and gold with small writing on each one...

MADE IN South Africa
SIZE: Small

Friday, February 17, 2012

GOD LOVES A TRIER, BUT HATES A CHANCER

1st ..... God doesn't hate ..... and 2nd .... I like chancers

CLICK HERE TO SEE FULL SIZE

Adenoid Hynkel said this in 1940

Sir Charles Spencer "Charlie" Chaplin, KBE (16 April 1889 – 25 December 1977) was an English comic actor, film director and composer best known for his work during the silent film era. George Bernard Shaw called Chaplin "the only genius to come out of the movie industry".



Chaplin played the role of "Adenoid Hynkel" in The Great Dictator, in his first speaking role. Hynkel, Dictator of Tomainia, modelled on German dictator Adolf Hitler, who was only four days his junior and sported a similar moustache.

THE GAMBLER SUES

Kenny Rogers, the silver-haired country singer and actor, filed suit against EMI's Capitol Records. Rogers alleges that he was beat out of at least $400,000 and claims he's owed 50 percent of the digital-music royalties generated by his songs. He also says that EMI has dragged its feet on handing over an audit.

The suit goes into a fair amount of detail about Mr. Rogers’s account, saying that Capitol, an EMI division, also owes him at least $2,518.77 for record club sales and $10,880.18 in video costs, as well as unknown amounts from settlements in industry lawsuits against file-sharing services like Napster, Kazaa and Grokster. An EMI spokesman did not respond to a request for comment.

EMI declined to comment.

Rogers is the latest in a growing list of artists who have filed similar suits against their labels and claim they are owed royalties from digital sales. The artists include Cheap Trick and the Allman Brothers (Sony Music Entertainment), Rick James and Chuck D (Universal Music Group), and Sister Sledge (Warner Music Group).

These acts say the labels insist on paying them the same 10 percent to 20 percent rate they used to pay on CD sales. That rate factored in such losses as disc breakage and the costs to warehouse CDs. The artists argue that in a digital world, those charges don't apply.

Meanwhile, as news of Rogers' lawsuit was breaking, Sony Music was finally responding to accusations that executives tried to cash in on the death of singer Whitney Houston. Industry insiders told CNET that on Saturday, in the hours after Houston's body was discovered in a Beverly Hills hotel, a mid-level manager at Sony raised the prices on two of Houston's albums and those increases kicked in at the iTunes U.K. site on Sunday morning.

Sony Music said the price hike was a "mistake" and an "employee error." Even if you believe that, the goof was a public-relations disaster. Just at the point the public is prepared to rally around the music industry to mourn Houston's passing, her label is being accused of the worst kind of opportunism.

MUSIC INDUSTRY ..... GET YOUR OWN HOUSE IN ORDER BEFORE YOU START TELLING OTHERS ABOUT WHAT'S RIGHT AND WRONG.

APPLE GETTING TO THE CORE OF THE PROBLEM

Apple Is Going To Anger A Lot Of Big Media Companies With AirPlay On The Mac


One of the coolest features in Apple's new desktop operating system, Mountain Lion, is AirPlay.

AirPlay already exists for the iPad and iPhone, but this version appears to be extend what AirPlay can do.

This new version is going to make life much better for users, and much less comfortable for big media companies.

If you're unfamiliar with AirPlay, here's how it works. You can wirelessly beam what's on the screen of your iPhone, iPad, or Mac to your TV, if you have an AppleTV, and have it running through your HDTV.


With Mountain Lion, this means you can send "webpages, YouTube videos, iTunes rentals, Keynote presentations, or anything else you can think of onto an HDTV without any added wires," says Jason Snell at MacWorld, who had some time to demo Mountain Lion.

If this is accurate, and you really can send webpages to your TV, it should scare the crap out of media companies who are doing everything they can to prevent themselves from being disrupted by TV on the internet.

If you can easily beam Safari to your TV, it makes pirated video streams that much more attractive. You can watch them on the big screen with ease.

It will also fluster Hulu. Hulu blocks Boxee and GoogleTV from broadcasting Hulu, even though both of them are web-based. There is code in GoogleTV and Boxee that tips off Hulu about what people are using.

Why does Hulu do this? We're not entirely sure, but it seems like Hulu's corporate parents don't like the idea of people watching free shows on big screen TVs. It's too similar to regular TV, without generating enough revenue. To solve the revenue problem, Hulu wants people to pay for Hulu Plus, which gives access to different devices.

Hulu isn't alone in blocking Google TV. ABC, CBS, NBC and all other media sites block it too.
With AirPlay, they won't know what's what. It will just be a Safari or Chrome or Firefox browser. And users will be able to get the big screen experience.

We'll be curious to see how Hulu and other media companies react.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

NBC Greenlights 'Hannibal' TV Series

Next season, "Dexter" won't be the only show on TV with a serial killer lead.

NBC has officially ordered "Hannibal" to series, based upon novelist Thomas Harris' unforgettable creation, Dr. Hannibal Lecter. The series is described as a modern update on Harris' novel, "Red Dragon;" and it will follow the beginning of Lecter's relationship with FBI agent Will Graham before Lecter was exposed as a serial killer himself. Although, if the show runs multiple seasons, it could conceivably cover material from "The Silence of The Lambs" and "Hannibal" as well.

"Pushing Daisies" creator Bryan Fuller wrote the "Hannibal" pilot script and he will executive produce the series. Fuller has also created "Wonderfalls" and "Dead Like Me" in addition to writing for "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine," "Star Trek: Voyager" and "Heroes." Fuller announced his involvement with "Hannibal" last September, before getting serious interest from NBC in November.

"Hannibal" received the unusual straight-to-series pickup based on NBC's strong reaction to Fuller's pilot script. Another factor was the international backing of Gaumont International Television; which will ensure that "Hannibal" will also be broadcast worldwide.

The first season of "Hannibal" will be 13 episodes long, presumably to run in the fall of 2012. However, NBC could also sit on the show until midseason next year.

Fuller is also currently working on a revival of "The Munsters" on NBC, which was renamed “Mockingbird Lane” to better reflect the slightly more serious take on the original series. The new take is reportedly "'True Blood' meets 'Modern Family.'" "X-Men" director Bryan Singer is attached to direct the pilot episode. However, "Mockingbird Lane" was recently delayed and pushed out of contention for the fall of 2012 in order to "give it extra attention."

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Massive Street Protests Wage War On ACTA Anti-Piracy Treaty

The world witnessed the largest offline protest against copyright legislation last saturday. Massive demonstrations against the draconian anti-piracy treaty ACTA  spanned four continents, with protests in more than 200 European cities alone. Hundreds of thousands of people took to the streets to prevent their countries and the European Parliament from putting the free Internet at risk by ratifying ACTA,


Last month the European Union officially signed the controversial “anti-piracy” trade agreement ACTA.

The EU followed in the footsteps of Australia, Canada, Japan, South Korea, Morocco, New Zealand, Singapore and the United States, who already signed it last October. This brings ACTA a step closer to passing, but individual EU member states and the European Parliament still have to ratify the treaty later this year.

To prevent this from happening, hundreds of thousands of people across the world are took to the streets, and millions more are expected to do their part online. In Europe demonstrations were held in more than 200 cities, the largest in Sofia, Bulgaria, with 10,000 participants.

These staggering numbers amount to the greatest offline protest against any type of copyright legislation, ever.

Thus far the anti-ACTA protests, which started in Poland a few weeks ago, haven’t been without result.

Several countries that were intended to ratify the treaty, have put their decision on hold. Poland was the first to cave in, followed by Slovakia, Czech Republic, Latvia, and yesterday Europe’s largest economy Germany backpedaled as well.

Within the European Parliament, whose members will vote on the ratification ACTA later this year, there is also a healthy resistance. In a guest article for TorrentFreak, parliament member Marietje Schaake urged fellow politicians to not let copyright law repress innovation.

“ACTA must not be passed. Let’s focus on reform to allow for the opportunities of the internet to bloom, instead of allowing outdated business models to limit the free market, and to criminalize audiences,” she wrote.

This demonstration shows that there’s a massive opposition against ACTA, and that hundreds of thousands of people are willing to take to the streets to defend a free and open Internet.

Sony raised price of Whitney Houston albums after death

Sony Music has come under fire after it increased the price of a Whitney Houston album on Apple's iTunes Store hours after the singer was found dead.

The music giant is understood to have lifted the wholesale price of Houston's greatest hits album, The Ultimate Collection, at about 4am California time on Sunday. This meant that the iTunes retail price of the album automatically increased from £4.99 to £7.99.


Makes you wonder .... are people who download music illegally more or less moral than those in the Music Industry ?

Monday, February 13, 2012

COULDN'T EVEN WIN THE SACK RACE THIS SEASON

Wolves have sacked boss Mick McCarthy following Sunday's 5-1 home thrashing by Black Country rivals West Brom.

"This has been a decision we've taken with a heavy heart but we have to act in the best interests of the club," Wolves chief executive Jez Moxey told Sky Sports News.

"We've had brilliant times with Mick McCarthy and it is sad it has come to an end. But I'm sure it won't be long before he's back in management.

"We now have two weeks until our next game against Newcastle, which is enough time to find a new manager and turn our fortunes around."

McCarthy has been in charge at Molineux since July 2006 but his side have won only one of their last 13 matches.

My personal view of McCarthy - ALL HAT AND NO CATTLE.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

SAVE US FROM THE IDIOTS ON FACEBOOK

MORE FALLOUT FROM THE SUAREZ SNUB

Whitney Houston, Superstar of Records, Films, Dies

Whitney Houston, who ruled as pop music's queen until her majestic voice and regal image were ravaged by drug use, erratic behavior and a tumultuous marriage to singer Bobby Brown, has died. She was 48.

Houston's publicist, Kristen Foster, said Saturday that the singer had died, but the cause and the location of her death were unknown.

News of Houston's death came on the eve of music's biggest night — the Grammy Awards. It's a showcase where she once reigned, and her death was sure to case a heavy pall on Sunday's ceremony. Houston's longtime mentor Clive Davis was to hold his annual concert and dinner Saturday; it was unclear if it was going to go forward.

At her peak, Houston the golden girl of the music industry. From the middle 1980s to the late 1990s, she was one of the world's best-selling artists. She wowed audiences with effortless, powerful, and peerless vocals that were rooted in the black church but made palatable to the masses with a pop sheen.

But by the end of her career, Houston became a stunning cautionary tale of the toll of drug use. Her album sales plummeted and the hits stopped coming; her once serene image was shattered by a wild demeanor and bizarre public appearances. She confessed to abusing cocaine, marijuana and pills, and her once pristine voice became raspy and hoarse, unable to hit the high notes as she had during her prime.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Manchester United fanzine seized before Liverpool game

Police seized copies of a Manchester United fanzine before the match with Liverpool amid fears its cover would stoke the racism row between the clubs.

The Red Issue fanzine featured a cut-out Ku Klux Klan-style mask with the words "LFC Suarez is innocent".

The magazines, described by police as "potentially offensive", were confiscated outside Old Trafford.

Liverpool's Luis Suarez was facing United's Patrice Evra for the first time since the racism row.

Ch Supt Mark Roberts said anyone found selling the fanzine or displaying the image faces prosecution.

He said: "Shortly before kick-off we were made aware that a Manchester United supporters' fanzine being sold outside Old Trafford featured a potentially offensive image.

"Officers are now seizing the fanzines and in consultation with the Crown Prosecution Service we will take appropriate action against anyone either found selling this particular fanzine or provocatively displaying the image in public."

Police have also arrested a man on suspicion of a racially aggravated offence over a T-Shirt which has been confiscated.

Mr Roberts added: "I have taken this course of action as both items are potentially offensive and we cannot be in a situation where hundreds or thousands of people were displaying offensive images at a football match.

KIDS TODAY ... THEY DON'T KNOW THEY'RE BORN



It weighs ONLY 30 ounces ! ..... a Gloch 17 Combat handgun, fully loaded, weighs 25 ounces, it was for that reason that this phone were nicknamed 'The Brick'.

QUOTE OF THE DAY



"He has changed the fortunes of every club he has been at" - Sir Alex Ferguson pays homage to 'Arry Redknapp with the kind of tribute fans of serial administration merchants Portsmouth and relegated-from-the-Premier League-after-27-years Southampton are sure to agree.


                                                                                                   Not !

Friday, February 10, 2012

MR. MESSY

If '1984' or 'The Trial' had been a children's book, Mr Messy would be it. No literary character has ever been so fully and categorically obliterated by the forces of social control. Hargreaves may well pay homage to Kafka and Orwell in this work, but he also goes beyond them.

We meet Mr Messy - a man whose entire day-to-day existence is the undiluted expression of his individuality. His very untidiness is a metaphor for his blissful and unselfconscious disregard for the Social Order. Yes, there are times when he himself is a victim of this individuality - as when he trips over a brush he has left on his garden path - but he goes through life with a smile on his face.

That is, until a chance meeting with Mr Neat and Mr Tidy - the archetypal men in suits. They set about a merciless programme of social engineering and indoctrination that we are left in no doubt is in flagrant violation of his free will. 'But I like being messy' he protests as they anonymize both his home and his person with their relentless cleaning activity, a symbolism thinly veiled.

This process is so thorough that by the end of it he is unrecognizable - a homogenized pink blob, no longer truly himself (that vibrant Pollock-like scribble of before). He smiles the smile of a brainwashed automaton, blandly accepting what he has been given no agency to question or refuse. It is in this very smile that the sheer horror of what we have seen to occur is at its most acute.

Somewhere behind this blank expression though is a latent anger - a trace of self-knowledge as to what he once was - in the barbed observation he makes to Neat and Tidy that they have even deprived him of his name.

The book ends with a dry reminder from Hargreaves that just as with the secret police in some totalitarian regime, our own small expressions of uniqueness and volition may also result in a visit from these sinister suited agents.

Reviews Written by
Hamilton Richardson

AMELIA

Does your goldfish look like Hitler ?

'EMERGENCY ESCAPE' BY CHEN WENLING

Chen Wenling’s solo exhibition “Emergency Escape” at Joy Art Gallery in 798. In this, a golden bull (the symbol for Wall Street) is ramming its head into a horned Madoff.


RED BULL GIVES YOU WINGS
DRAMATIC ....... ISN'T IT ?


BUT .. IT'S SOMETHING I'D HAVE LIKED TO HAVE SEEN REALLY HAPPEN.

TODAYS JOKE


I got sacked from my job as a bingo caller the other day

apparently 'a meal for 2 with a terrible view' is not the way to announce 69 !


I'll get me blazer !

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Ken Bates rejects application from Sven Goran Eriksson

The chairman of the Yorkshire club has turned down the former England manager application to take over the helm at the Championship side Leeds United.



Former boss Simon Grayson was sacked last week after nearly four years in charge.

Bates undertook the challenge of bringing in the next man to take the club forward and claims he has received numerous requests ranging from the “cheeky to the outlandish."

Bates spoke to Yorkshire Radio about the club’s approach to signing a new manager: "We have been inundated with applications from the cheeky to the outlandish,

"We've had one from an 11-year-old boy who obviously has high ambitions in the game and we have a Playstation manager of 2010 who fancies his chances having won a competition.

"We've also had Sven Goran Eriksson apply, but he won't be coming."

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

TODAY IN FOOTIE

Redknapp cleared and Capello show's the British that 'innocent until proven guilty' is more than merely a phrase trotted out on television dramas.

Vine wins gong for funniest joke


King of the one-liners Tim Vine picked up the award for the year's funniest joke at the Loaded Laftas comedy awards.



He saw off competition from acts including Jimmy Carr and magician Paul Daniels, winning with his gag: "Conjunctivitis.com - that's a site for sore eyes."

MAD AS A BAG OF SHPIDERS !

Hardy Bucks is set in a small town in West Ireland, following the mis-adventures of five hapless culchies down on their luck, trying to leave their backwards rural hometown and attempt to reach Dublin and sample modern civilization.



The three-episode TV series, written by the writing trio Tordoff, Maloney and Cockayne, was commissioned and broadcast by RTE from 12 October 2010 until 26 October 2010. Following the success of their debut TV series, the Hardy Bucks were commissioned by RTE to produce a half-hour Christmas special which aired on 26 December 2010. The DVD for series 2 was released on 12 December, 2011.

Monday, February 6, 2012

CHEAP FLIGHTS

Chelsea 3-0 Manchester United - this looks like a job for Howard Webb !

Manchester United had a familiar saviour on Sunday afternoon when they slipped to a three-goal deficit at the hands of Chelsea. But it was not Wayne Rooney nor Javier Hernandez who rescued a point for the champions, it was Howard Webb who performed his (now perfected) deus ex machina act and awarded two soft penalties against the hosts to allow Sir Alex Ferguson's side to eventually complete a Superman-like recovery.

HOWARD JOINS IN WITH TEAMMATES ROONEY, GIGGS, EVRA AND HERNANDEZ
AT THE FINAL WHISTLE AS MANCHESTER UNITED DRAW 3-3 WITH CHELSEA





THE BEGINNING OF THE END OF THE FREE INTERWEB ?

YOU SMELL LIKE ....................

Sunday, February 5, 2012

WELL DONE HOWARD !!!!!!!!!!


When Sir Alex Ferguson says ' We should have had 4 penalties ' .... is he actually saying that referee Howard Webb has to return half his wage pack ?


Sir Alex received a red card from Howard Webb in the tunnel at half time, it read ' Happy Valentines Fergie ..... from a secret admirer ' ..... and it was simply signed HW.

CHELSEA 3 - MAN UTD 3

Saturday, February 4, 2012

WHERE DID IT ALL GO WRONG ?

HOW I WISH WE WERE BACK IN THE GOOD OLD DAYS .......... THE DAYS WHEN THE TABLOIDS DIDN'T DETERMINE A PERSONS GUILT OR INNOCENCE BEFORE THE LEGAL SYSTEM HAD A CHANCE TO LISTEN TO THE EVIDENCE, CONSIDER THE FACTS AND COME TO A DECISION BASED ON WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED, AND NOT ON HERESAY.

IF ONLY PAUL THE OCTOPUS WERE STILL WITH US ..... HE'D SORT IT OUT

Innocent until proven guilty. It's just a catchphrase now. It's one of those things we say. We don't much mean it. Allegedly is the same. Ever noticed how they use allegedly on shows like Have I Got News For You? It's a punchline.

They throw it in with a raised eyebrow and a cheeky grin.

Maybe that is what we should do here.

John Terry is innocent until proven guilty. Little pause for comic effect. Wink to the camera, wait for the laugh. Allegedly.

In the end, it came down to a shouting contest and the lords of Twitter, the frantic self-publicists in Westminster such as Damian Collins MP and the sages of the newsprint and airwaves shouted loudest.

They did not always shout with great understanding, or even logic, but they shouted to the rolling rhythm of a bandwagon that was hurtling towards its inevitable destination.

A social lynching, a friend of mine called the events of the last few days.

He's just one of those old-school hacks, and football's not even his thing any more; but his instincts were right, and he nailed this one.

If Terry was to be removed before his trial, it had to be a football decision.

If Fabio Capello, the England manager, thought that he divided the dressing room, or his presence would prove a distraction, then he had to act, as he did before the World Cup, the first time Terry was sacked.


Capello, however, remained staunchly behind his captain this time. He was in Italy when the decision was taken, a manager paid £6million annually but not trusted to make selection calls.

His successor should be taking notes.

The next crisis for the England team - and there will be one, because there always is - should be dropped directly on the toes of the FA board, those wizards of governance.

The impossible job just got a little easier: for £6m, the FA now employ a man in a tracksuit, no more. Aggravation is on their watch. Good luck all.

The board will get their tummies tickled this morning, no doubt, and be widely praised for taking a firm line. The opposite is true.

The tough call would have been to resist, to say a man cannot lose his job without being given the chance to defend himself in due process and that however unfortunate the timing of Terry's trial, it remained a matter for the courts.

Emmanuel Frimpong, on loan to Wolves and one of the Twitter stormers, did not seem to understand this.

The FA were out of order, he said. 'If Anton Ferdinand was in the England team and was being charged for racism, would the FA wait?'

As if the FA set court dates.

His words were reported as further evidence of the mood against Terry, rather than an argument with a bus-sized hole in its centre.

Like that of Jason Roberts, who compared Terry's situation to Rio Ferdinand's in 2003, left out of the England squad before his hearing for missing a drugs test.

The difference being there was no question of whether Ferdinand was guilty. He should have taken the test, he was absent. Case closed. The FA knew the verdict in advance.

A comparison would be if Terry had racially abused Anton Ferdinand as he walked past, midway through a television interview, on camera, with utter certainty for all to see. There would be no question of waiting for formal process then. A decision could be made that night, without complaint. Nobody here condones racism.

It is the fact Terry has pleaded not guilty and could be found so that is the awkward complication, because we shouldn't condone pre-judgment either.

Still, the FA say their action in no way suggests wrongdoing on Terry's part. Allegedly.
Terry will not play for Chelsea against Manchester United on Sunday.

He would not have played in last weekend's FA Cup match against Queens Park Rangers either, but was concerned it would be interpreted as a tactical injury to avoid a poisonous atmosphere and the handshake issue.

His knee injury, however, could be a serious one.

Terry spent Friday afternoon undergoing further tests, having consulted a specialist on Thursday, and his participation in England's next match with Holland on February 29 has to be doubtful.

This would leave him with the rest of the season to make a decision on whether to be available for England at Euro 2012.

He will not be rushed into making the call, but is very conflicted on the issue: upset at what he sees as a lack of support by the FA, but loyal towards Capello, who was known to be against the decision of the FA board, taken above his head.

Capello told Terry as recently as Thursday night that he would still be his captain next summer and remains convinced he is the best man for the job.

The idea he restored Terry to the role out of pity is laughable. Capello believes English football is unique in seeking leadership from its captain and feels Steven Gerrard did not fulfil that role in 2010.

Even Terry's supposed mutiny in South Africa is now viewed benignly by Capello, who says he was the only player with the confidence to speak up about dissatisfaction in the camp.

It is not unthinkable, if Terry goes to Euro 2012, that the manager will continue to lean on him as Sir Clive Woodward did Lawrence Dallaglio, after he was replaced by Martin Johnson following a tabloid scandal.

Johnson came into his own on match days, but Dallaglio remained Woodward's man behind the scenes, his real World Cup captain.

It is now for Terry to decide whether he wishes to risk another social lynching purely by being part of Capello's squad.

Yet no doubt whenever anyone refers to the disgraced ex-captain, the shamed ex-captain, the dishonoured, twice-sacked pariah and former England captain they will be careful to remind all that he is, of course, innocent until proven guilty. Allegedly.

By MARTIN SAMUEL 3rd February 2012

Friday, February 3, 2012

MR. UPPITY

In the opening few pages of this, the 11th work in the Mr Man series, we are almost led to expect of Hargreaves a foray into dialectical materialism.

We meet Mr Uppity with his top hat and monocle - a clear and overt representation of the bourgeois industrialist. Other arriviste trappings such as his long limousine and imposing townhouse further give the game away.

In a thinly-veiled reference to the oppression of the workers by the ruling class, we are told that Mr Uppity is rude to everyone, and the detail that he has no friends in Bigtown explicitly informs us that the masses are on the brink of revolution. Are we about to bear witness to class war, Hargreaves-style? To see Mr Uppity brought to account by the revolutionary power of the proletariat? Vanquished and overthrown by the party of the workers?

Not so. Mr Uppity is no Marxian analysis, no Leninist prescription for class action. As always, Hargreaves' inherent and essential conservatism comes to bear. His critique of the bourgeoisie comes not from the proletariat but from the feudal aristocracy. It is the authority of a king that places limits upon Mr Uppity's excesses, as his usurpation and arbitrary exercise of power has violated 'the natural order of things'. Hence the protection the masses are dealt in response to this transgression is paternal, and they receive it as subjects not radical agents of change.

Being so staunch a traditionalist, Hargreaves of necessity is a reformer not a revolutionary. The King does not have Mr Uppity executed, imprisoned or even sent into exile. There is no state seizure and collectivization of his wealth, or in fact any redistribution at all. (Despite his pomp and grandeur, the King no longer has such powers - both the outward self-importance and ultimate weakness of his intervention appear little more than a face-saving exercise for his waning hereditary rule.)

Rather, in the end it is the mildest of all regulation that is imposed upon the capitalist class. The ownership of the means of production remains the same, with no fundamental change to the economic base - just some superstructural tinkering to rein-in any overly brutal treading on the small man. The ruling class can do pretty much as it did before, as long as it says 'please' and 'thank you'. The aristocracy is duly appeased.

Hence we arrive at the Britain Hargreaves lived in - a gently regulated capitalism coupled with sham aristocracy, maintained by our own collective nostalgia and a national lack of appetite for mass action.

Reviews Written by
Hamilton Richardson (London, UK)

Thursday, February 2, 2012

DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH FOOD IN ?

The 46th Super Bowl will take place on February 5, 2012 at Lucas Oil Stadium. Kickoff is scheduled for 6:30 ET on NBC.


Well, this should keep me going until Madonna starts to rattle her bones.

WE'RE A FUNNY BREED HERE IN CORK

THE IRISH SOPA [Stop Online Piracy Act]

While the European Union is claiming that Stop Online Piracy Act was a bad legislation and nobody needed it, Ireland seems to be not getting the memo.

According to Irish legal experts, the authorities over there are about to bring in a SOPA-style bill that is even vaguer and open-ended. Indeed, it turned out that the Irish law will let record labels order broadband providers to block access to certain online services. However, Sean Sherlock (the Minister of State at the department of Enterprise, Jobs and Innovation) insists that the suggested legislation is completely different to the American Stop Online Piracy Act. Instead, it is only addressing the High Court judgement that had been handed down by Mr Justice Peter Charleton regarding to copyright legislation, according to Sherlock.

EIRCOM ARE THE WORST, THEY ALREADY BLOCK SITES BEFORE ANY REGULATION
HAS BEEN PUT IN PLACE ...... DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR AND SIGN UP WITH  UPC
Nevertheless, the new “statutory instrument” of the country’s government seems to threaten to do the same things as SOPA. For example, it allows Internet service providers to block online services suspected of having copyrighted content on them.

Worse still, the entertainment industry could also ask a judge to order broadband providers to block services like Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook since they are claimed to contain their copyrighted material. Indeed, according to the suggested legislation, all the rights owner has to do is show a judge their material on the website and after that it will be allowed to order the Internet service provider to pull the plug.

Considering the fact that Google and Facebook are in fact Dublin’s largest employers, it might be very embarrassing for the government to see their websites banned in the country. According to the Irish legal expert, part of the Irish problem is that the tool in question being drawn up is quite woolly, so it will undoubtedly take a test case before we can know what the result will be. The expert underlined that politically, it is a no-win scenario. Even with the government being ready to open the legal doors for the copyright holders to start directing access policies of broadband providers, the entertainment industry is frothing and fuming.

Ironically enough, by taking such approach, the authorities can also attract the anger of a growing sector of the technology and digital communities. Indeed, it would be quite unusual to alienate both sides of a legislative argument.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Coconut Oil Touted as Alzheimer's Remedy



BUT DON'T FORGET TO TAKE IT

THE EPITOME OF THE SAYING

People, like sheep, tend to follow a leader - occasionally in the right direction.

Alexander Chase

IT'S '10 ITEMS OR FEWER' ... NOT '10 ITEMS OR LESS' !

Even Hollywood gets it wrong .... the phrase has even been made into what looks like a terrible movie starring Morgan Freeman.

And lousy grammer
So if you want to be cooler than a supermarket aisle, here’s one simple rule: if you can count the things you’re talking about, use ‘fewer‘. If you can’t, use ‘less‘.


You can’t count time: Less time

You can’t count water: Less water

You can’t count fat: Less fat


You CAN count numbers of hours: Fewer hours

and numbers of cups: Fewer cups of water,

and numbers of calories: Fewer calories