Usain Bolt and Michael Phelps Agree to a Match Race in a Marsh

The two dominant Olympic athletes of the 21st Century are set to decide once and for all which man is the fastest in the world. Swimmer Michael Phelps and sprinter Usain Bolt will go head-to-head on September 1st in marshland near Jersey City, NJ. No money is on the line; only the title of world’s fastest man.

“I’m excited to take on the best,” said Bolt. “It’s a terrain that is fair to both of us. I hope to come out on top.”

Phelps and Bolt both dominated their opponents for the second consecutive Olympics in London — prompting supporters of both Olympians to make the case that their man was the greatest of the generation. With that debate as a backdrop, Bolt’s representatives reached out to Phelps’ people to discuss a possible showdown.

“I was in immediately. I can’t wait to race Usain,” said Phelps. “I have a lot of respect for him. I’m confident I can still have a good race in three to four feet of water and mud. It will be a new challenge.”

The faceoff is set at 200 meters through some marshland along the Harlem River. Bolt is hoping his feet won’t get too bogged down in the mud.

“It won’t be easy, but I want to prove I’m the best,” said Bolt. “My only demand was that we race far enough north that getting eaten by alligators wasn’t a concern. Phelps agreed with me 100-percent on that.”