Wednesday, June 30, 2010

How and Why Twilight Works

Twilight is a complete mystery to anyone who isn't female , gay or has self esteem ....... and here's why .

The Day Mister Rogers Saved PBS

Mister Rogers appeared before normally sarcastic, hardened, short tempered, and sometimes rude Senators in 1969. The Senators were holding hearing to decide if they should cut government funding in half ($20 million) for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting Service as proposed by President Richard Nixon.

Mister Rogers calmly, and patiently, explained his position, and what impact his program had on children, and the mental health of our society as a whole. Mister Fred M. Rogers completed his presentation by speaking the words of a song he calls What Do You Do with the Mad You Feel?



If all teachers in our schools had the sincere dedication that Mr. Rogers had, our children could be very different people as adults.

JACK HANDEY QUOTE OF THE DAY


" It makes me mad when someone says that I turned and ran like a scared rabbit , maybe it was like an angry rabbit who was running to go fight in another fight , away from the first fight ".

SCUM OF THE EARTH

South African police have charged a British tabloid journalist with helping a fan gain access to the England dressing room after a World Cup match , according to national police commissioner Bheki Cele .
Pavlos Joseph [idiot] , 32 , was arrested for entering the England changing room following the side's disappointing goalless draw against Algeria on June 18 .
His lawyer Craig Webster told Cape Town Magistrates' Court that prosecutors had dropped further charges against Joseph after he paid a 750 rand (£65) fine for trespassing .
Last week Joseph's defence team made representations to the Directorate of Public Prosecutions to drop the case .
" The representations were successful ," Webster told Magistrate Grant Engel .
The incident sparked concern about lax security during Africa's first hosting of the month-long tournament . South African police have now charged a British tabloid journalist with helping Joseph gain access to the dressing room .
Police accuse the journalist , Simon Wright [scumbag], from the Sunday Mirror tabloid of orchestrating the incident . The newspaper has denied its reporter was guilty of any wrongdoing .
On Wednesday, Wright [scumbag], wearing a blue blazer and white shirt , appeared immediately after Joseph's case was dealt with in a special World Cup court .
William Booth , Wright's lawyer , said he would also ask the prosecution to drop the case. Wright [scumbag]is charged with attempting to " defeat the ends of justice ".
" My client feels there is no basis (for the criminal case)," Booth said .
The case against Wright , who had to surrender his passport and has to report to Cape Town police station every day , was adjourned to July 7. His bail of 3,000 rand (£260) was extended .

I do hope he gets locked up in a South African prison [maybe Robin Island] for months.

AMERICA HAS IT'S VERY OWN AMY WINEHOUSE

I think its some rule in physics .. ' every twat has an equal if not opposite twat '


.......... and it's called Lady GaGa

.... and worse than that .... 3 year old girls wanna be ' just like her '

TODAY'S TOP TIP

MUMS : Out of Christmas wrapping paper ? Simply convert birthday wrapping paper by adding “Baby Jesus” after “Happy Birthday .”

MIND THE FURNITURE !

Cristiano Ronaldo's disappointing World Cup ended on a sour note after he was caught spitting towards a cameraman following Portugal's 1-0 loss to Spain in the second round.

Portugal captain Ronaldo reacted angrily to the cameraman's attempts to follow him off the pitch in close proximity immediately after the final whistle, waving him away before spitting in his direction while looking down the barrel of the camera, an act that was broadcast around the world.

While he was taking his frustration out on the man behind the lens, Ronaldo's spit appeared to the global audience to be directed towards them in an ugly act that could upset many of the fans of one of football's most marketable men.

It's not been an easy year for the Real Madrid striker , this time last year he was on top of the world [not to mention on top of Paris Hilton] looking forward to the approaching season thinking that the world would be his for the taking , but alas ........ it was not to be .
Both he and Real Madrid fell short of the mark ending the season trophy-less having been knocked out of the cup competitions early and losing La Liga to Barcelona on the last day . Still ...... its no excuse to take it out on the rest of us .


AND FOR ALL THOSE OF YOU WHO INVESTED IN A NEW 3D TV FOR THE WORLD CUP , I HOPE YOU DIDN'T END UP WIPING YOUR SPECS THINKING THAT THEY WERE COVERED IN SPITTLE AFTER THE GAME .... IT IS REALISTIC ..... ISN'T IT ?

MERYL STREEP MUST BE NERVOUS

Bristol Palin has managed to collect a paycheck for talking about abstinence which she doesn’t practice, as evidenced by her teenage pregnancy, and now she is trying her hand at acting too. In the clip below she plays a teen mom, what else, in The Secret Life of the American Teenager.





WATCH OUT HOLLYWOOD

SWEET .................. FA


It has been announced that Fabio Capello's current contract [which was renewed shortly before the World Cup] is to be reviewed within 2 weeks ....... it's thought that the FA will let him know if he still has a job or not 2 hours before the next international.

IS WOY THE WIGHT CHOICE FOR THE WEDS ?


Roy Hodgson will be announced as the new manager of Liverpool later today after he agreed a 2 year deal at Anfield.
The 62 year old Englishman replaces Rafa Benitez in the Anfield hotseat after the Spaniard left the club last month. Hodgson will earn roughly £3m per year according to reports.

THIS WILL NO DOUBT PLEASE THE THOUSANDS OF MEMBERS OF THE FACEBOOK PAGE K.R.A.P. [Keep Rafa at Pool] AS THAY CAN CONTINUE ON AS BEFORE.


And as per usual ..... Sven Goran Eriksson announced " I have had no contact from Fulham FC as of yet " ........ The guy just cant help himself .

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

JAPAN BOWS OUT OF WORLD CUP

Paraguay beat Japan on penalties to create history by reaching the World Cup quarter-finals for the first time.

After a cagey affair in Pretoria, Yulchi Komano missed the third Japan spot-kick to ensure the South Americans progressed to face either Spain or Portugal, who play later on Tuesday.

As throughout the tournament, Japan coach Takeshi Okada named an unchanged line up for the clash, while the South Americans made five changes from the side which drew 0-0 with New Zealand last time.

Alot was expected from Honda , but he didn't appear to be firing on all cylinders today ....... after a slow start off the line ...... the Japanese drove at the Paraguayans defense and had their first shot after 30 seconds , the game slowed down then until Barrios was able to turn Yulchi Komano in the box to get in one-on-one with Eiji Kawashima but the keeper saved his shot with his legs.

Japan then broke forward and Daisuke Matsui's 30 yard effort crashed into the Paraguay crossbar, with keeper Villar beaten.

In extra-time, Kawashima was quick off his line to make an excellent save to deny substitute Valdes after he had turned in the box, while Villar palmed out a powerful Honda [who had found an extra gear by then] free-kick for a corner which Japan could not capitalise on.

Komano was the unlucky player as he hit the crossbar with the third spot-kick and Paraguay sunk all five.

Rumours that the Paraguayan Navel fleet had left port before the penalties ' as a precaution ' has been denied by the Paraguayan Consul in South Africa.

TODAY'S TOP TIP

HOTELIERS : Save money on expensive promotions . Simply christen your daughter with the name of your hotel , film her having sex , and release the footage on the internet . Hey presto - instant worldwide advertising .

WHAT THE PAPERS SAY

JACK HANDEY QUOTE OF THE DAY

" I can picture in my mind a world without war , a world without hate . And I can picture us attacking that world because they'd never expect it ."

MOVIE REVIEW

Bella Swan was not expecting anything out of the ordinary to happen when she moved to live with her Dad in Forks, Washington. But this where her life truly begins. There she meets Edward Cullen, a mysterious and ' sparkling ' student at her new high school. Bella soon discovers that Edward is hiding a secret , after he impossibly saves her life from a van with his super-human strength and speed. She is determined to unravel his secret, but the truth is more terrifying than she realized. Edward is a vampire [except he can go out in daylight , he doesn't have fangs and he doesn't need to drink human blood] ........ dont ask me ..... I didn't write this nonsense .

LOL


Chelsea and England midfielder Frank Lampard
made an unexpected outburst during a press conference this morning calling FIFA President Sepp Blatter "a fat Swiss, big-headed, corrupt , cheating , sweaty and arrogant bastard " following Blatter's public apology to the FA.

FIFA have indicated however that no action will be taken against Lampard .............................. as his remarks have been deemed not to have crossed the line.


On the plane home Wayne Rooney and Fabio Capello
had a 'clear the air' talk today .....................

'It was a difficult chat because his English is very poor and he's got a silly accent' ......... said Capello .


News just in ; In an attempt to cheer up England fans Fabio has
organised a friendly against Iceland. " If we win that ", he said " friendlies will be arranged with Sainsbury's and Tesco ".

Monday, June 28, 2010

JACK HANDEY QUOTE OF THE DAY

" I guess we were kinda poor when we were kids , but we didn't know it . That's because my dad always refused to let us look at the family's financial records ."

LOL

NO SH*T SHERLOCK

Michael Jackson's mother says some people wanted her son killed


Katherine Jackson, appearing in a Dateline NBC special to mark the first anniversary of son Michael Jackson's death, told the network that her late son was in constant fear that “mean, evil, vicious” people were out to kill him
“He told me several times that he felt that people wanted him gone, wanted him dead,” Katherine told NBC's Sonia Lowe. “It's just some of the mean, evil, vicious people didn't want him around for some reason. They're greedy.”
Katherine said one person she does not suspect of any participation in Michael Jackson's killing is her daughter-in-law and Michael's former wife Debbie Rowe, the mother of two of the three kids of the popular pop star.
Debbie Rowe, who is a Nurse by profession, has initially fought for her son's custody after Jackson's death but finally reached an agreement with Katherine Jackson that would allow her supervised visits with the children under guidelines to be recommended by a child psychologist.
Michael's 80-year-old mother waged a legal fight for several months for control of Jackson's estate, but gave up her probate challenge in October. She and Jackson's children are the main beneficiaries of the estate. For now, they are receiving an $86,000 monthly family allowance.

Will extraterrestrials help celebrate America's Independence Day

The US's largest patriotic holiday is fast approaching. The 4th of July celebrates Independence Day - the day the United States of America was founded. Some believe extraterrestrials will visit the States on that date too.
Normally the 4th of July is celebrated with "... picnics and patriotic parades, a night of concerts and fireworks, and a reason to fly the American flag," according to USA Government.
This year, in what appears to have become a new tradition for Independence Day, UFO buffs and fanatics say the celebrations marking the anniversary will be helped along by visitors from outer space. Well, that's the optimists. Others are predicting that any visit by extraterrestrials on July 4 will be hostile.
Between the continuing devastating effects of the recession on the USA, the Gulf Oil Spill, the erosion of the authority of the Government of the USA as related to the moratorium on off-shore drilling among other issues; people need a safe outlet for their stress. Today's current events are helping to foster the growing chatter about a possible extraterrestrial visit or possible invasion of the United States this July 4.
One writer, Matt Clark, posted an article on Gather summing up the internet buzz over the fast-approaching July 4th celebrations.
It appears that some people believe the fireworks are a signal to extraterrestrials, drawing them to Earth to help celebrate the anniversary. Clark said there has not been confirmation from major media sources that aliens from outer space would attempt to contact Americans on July 4th. The way to get ready for contact with aliens, Clark advises his readers, readers
"... is to read alien books and watch popular films which portray aliens."
Internet chatter on the upcoming 234th celebration of the Independence of the United States is building as the day draws closer. Reflecting the tensions being experienced Americans, some sources are predicting a hostile encounter with extraterrestrials, while others are pointing to a more earth-bound crisis.
With barely one week before the big day, the world will know soon enough whether or not the predictions will come to pass.
Last year a predicted attack on the USA by extraterrestrials failed to occur. Weekly World News chalked up the non-event to efforts made by President Barack Obama to avert the anticipated war of last summer.

THERE .... I TOLD YOU ...ALL BACK TO NORMAL



On a lighter note , the English team did make history today ...... they were the first group of white men to enter England and be told to " F*ck off back to Africa " !


NOW ............. IF WE COULD JUST ARRANGE FOR JAMES (He's funny coz he's fat) CORDON TO HAVE AN 'ACCIDENT'

Sunday, June 27, 2010

WHAT THE PAPERS SAY

THEY THINK ITS ALL OVER ................ IT IS NOW !





Now all the media has to do is find some way to blame it all on Chelsea ... and all will be back to normal.

JACK HANDEY QUOTE OF THE DAY


" Maybe in order to understand mankind , we have to look at the word itself . Basically , it's made up of two separate words — " mank " and " ind ." What do these words mean ? It's a mystery , and that's why so is mankind ."

ARF !

Apparently the statistics relating to thieving , drug dealing and infidelity have shown an alarming rise in South Africa since the World Cup began ......... the authorities expect it to go back to normal now that England have bowed out of the tournament and John Terry and his family will be returning to England.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

TOMORROW'S A BIG DAY


Keep your eyes open later on today , you never know who might turn up to support the English team , diamond encrusted vuvuzela in hand





They might even sing her song




Good luck to JT , Frank , Ashley and Joe ........ have a great game.



£3.5m ........ WELL YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE



And in related news......................

by JoJo Moyes

With the future of Metro Goldwyn Mayer looking decidedly shaky, producers Barbara Broccoli and Michael G Wilson announced this week that they were shelving the 23rd Bond film until MGM's financial problems were resolved.

Craig said diplomatically that he had "every faith" in the decision. But industry insiders say that by the time shooting begins – 2012 at the earliest - Craig may walk, or worse, be considered "past it". William Hill yesterday offered odds of 8/1 that we have already seen the last of him as Bond.

I admit that when he was first mooted for the part, I was less than enthusiastic. How could festering Geordie Peacock from Our Friends In The North inhabit that iconic tuxedo with grace and élan? How could that thuggish visage expertly seduce women with ridiculously suggestive names? For this was a man apparently known even to his friends as "Mr Potato Head".
Fool that I was! For even as he emerged from the shadows in the opening scenes of Casino Royale I was a lost thing. By the time he broke the waves in those little blue trunks I may have inadvertently – and for the first time in my life – uttered the phrase "Hubba hubba". When he held Vesper Lynd brokenly in his arms, it was frankly a bit embarrassing being in the same room as my actual husband. And I know there are women nodding as they read this, because they have told me.
Casino Royale, it is fair to say, is not a date movie. Not unless your husband looks, sounds and behaves like Daniel Craig as James Bond.
It takes a serious dose of raw machismo to remain the object of female desire even while having one's testicles flayed from under a chair, but Craig managed it. Men liked his rough quality, the slight coarsening of the Bond franchise. Women just… yes, well. I think we've covered that.



Craig didn't look like the Bonds we had become used to; the slightly Man At C&A look of Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton and even Piers Brosnan's Bonds. (Go on, imagine them in a belted woollen cardigan, and you'll see what I mean).
This was a Bond who wasn't going to lift an eyebrow and shake a martini at another assassination attempt. He would brood, look bruised, and then pursue vengeance in a way that was frankly scary.
And he completely revitalised Bond, remaining the finest thing in the critically less well-received follow-up, Quantum of Solace.
So surely we can't let him be James for just one film longer than George Lazenby? Surely this, rather than bankers' huge bonuses or grounded aeroplanes, will propel protesters on to the streets?
As novelist Milly Johnson says: "He was the one I couldn't visualise as Bond. Now I can't see anyone else."
Yes, a lot of it is about sex appeal, but that is half the point of Bond. That's why women watch. How many female viewers do you hear getting wound up about who is going to star in the next Bourne Identity? So, who are the runners and riders being lined up to replace Craig?
Top odds go to someone called Sam Worthington – who apparently starred in Avatar. Orlando Bloom and Jude Law (12/1 and 33/1) are both terribly pretty, but can you really see them spitting blood and teeth to protect their woman? And then, at 100/1 we have Alex Reid. Yup, the self-styled Reidinator, and gurning love-puppy of Katie Price. It's enough to make you head for Iceland.
So come on, Ms Broccoli. Sort out the studio issues, and give us back Mr Craig. Failing that, I'll be voting for whichever political party promises a bail-out of MGM. I think it's a vote-winner.

X factor for muslim preachers in Malaysia wows television audience

Contestants on Young Imam chant passages from the Koran, not pop covers.
While the concept is based on the hit British and American shows, the young Malaysian men are out to prove they are the best mullah in the land.

The show, now in its third week, is fast becoming a hit in the Muslim-majority country.
The judge who delivers their fate as the lights dim and contestant stand nervously is no Simon Cowell.
Hasan Mahmood, the former grand mufti of Malaysia's national mosque, presides over the ten male contestants aged between 19 and 27.
Instead of a lucrative record deal, the winner will be given a post as an imam at a mosque in Kuala Lumpur, a Haj pilgrimage to Mecca and a full scholarship to the Madinah international university in Saudi Arabia.
Just like their counterparts in the West, the Young Imam competitors are fast becoming icons to young viewers.
The show's Facebook page has over 25,000 fans, including prospective mothers-in-law looking to marry off their daughters.

The aspiring imams are given clerical tasks to complete each week.
The first challenge was to bathe and bury a body that had lain unclaimed in a morgue for one month. The man had died of the AIDS virus. They washed the body, wrapped it in white cotton, offered prayers and buried it, with some contestants shedding tears at the grave.
"Seeing and handling a dead body is the most difficult ritual they could face as an imam. The ten boys were brilliant, but the crew was not so good," said Izelan Basar, channel manager of Astro Oasis, which screens the show. "The producer fainted and several crew members vomited."
Other tasks have included trying to teach young street racers caught by the police about Islam and visiting an orphanage. The group is secluded from the outside world in a dormitory on a mosque compound.
Each contestants has to deliver a sermon in a mosque every Friday. Last week, 25-year-old Sharafuddin Suaut was sent home for a lack of clarity over finer points of Islamic theory.

Whats next ........ Big Buddah ?

WHATZ TAMATTA YOU , GOTTA NO RESPECT

The Italy World Cup team returned to Malpensa Airport in Milan this afternoon amid chaotic scenes.

Hundreds of supporters and members of the public hurled abuse and rotten fruit at players and staff following the humiliating exit in the group stages yesterday after the 3-2 defeat to Slovakia in Johannesburg.

The ring-leaders of the mob were none other than Antonio Cassano, Fabrizio Miccoli and Mario Balotelli – all controversially snubbed from the World Cup squad despite their undoubted superiority to those taken instead of them.

Cassano was equipped with a punnet of tomatoes and landed a perfect long shot into the left top corner of coach Marcello Lippi’s glasses, juice spurting everywhere. Alberto Gilardino attempted to throw one of the tomatoes back, but missed all 876 people in the crowd.

Talentino then whipped out a water gun, spraying it all over Lippi and the player adjacent to him Simone Pepe…“use this water to clean my boots, I told you that’s all your good for,” he sniped at his former Roma lackey.

Lippi wiped the dew off his lenses, to which Miccoli remarked: “The last time you cleaned your glasses was before Fabio Grosso’s last penalty in Berlin. You’ve been blind ever since.”



The Palermo hero, on crutches after serious injury, then challenged the Italy team to a game against 10 randoms he met in hospital. The outpatients took an early lead after an eight-year old girl threw a daisy at Riccardo Montolivo, who flinched and turned his back, then she beat Gianluca Zambrotta for pace. But, the Azzurri earned a 1-1 draw from a penalty when Fabio Quagliarella was tripped by a walking stick and grabbed his face.

The Queen of England was also surprisingly present. "I missed the end of Mahut v Isner at Wimbledon to watch you bleeding shower!," she moaned, before shoving a stawberry up Vincenzo Iaquinta's nose.

The players, having forced their way through the scrum – made their way towards the baggage carousel. Marchetti misread the line of the suitcase as it went round and was forced into a desperate last-gasp punch to prevent his luggage going past him. Daniele De Rossi, proudly wearing a Roma shirt instead of the obligatory Italy attire, got lost in the terminal after failing to follow his man. Fortunately for him, his yellow and red bag with two little kids sucking the breasts of a Capitoline Wolf was handed into reception, along with a Francesco Totti poster.

The airport janitor, a Frenchman named Raymond Domenech, was called to sweep up all the rotten fruit. Domenech threw his broomstick at Lippi as he walked past, and shouted: “You get knocked out of the World Cup, and all your players defend and worship you. I get knocked out of the World Cup, Nicolas Anelka calls me a ‘son of a whore’, Patrice Evra stabs me in the back, and I lose my job and become a janitor.”

The turmoil ended with Balotelli, wearing a Milan shirt, on his way to the departure gate to fly out to South Africa to cheer on Ghana in the second round. Miccoli joined him on the flight to follow Argentina and his idol Diego Maradona. Cassano, meanwhile, tucked into the leftovers swept up by Domenech and declared, "That's Lippi dealt with, next rotten fruit target: Fabio Capello.

"Mario, Fabrizio, wait for me!"

LORD OF THE RINGS WORLD CUP TEAM - No 6

TODAY'S TOP TIP

COUNCIL HIGHWAY DEPARTMENTS : Save money erecting warning signs on dangerous bends. Simply sellotape a bunch of flowers to a nearby lamp post instead.

JACK HANDEY QUOTE OF THE DAY

" The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me . I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive . I'm not sure where we'd go , but I think there were some trees there . The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played . I remember a bigger , older guy we called "Dad ." We'd eat some stuff , or not , and then I think we went home . I guess some things never leave you ."

SO .................. WHATS NEXT ? - pt 2

A tattoo is a marking made by inserting dark, indelible ink into the dermis layer of the skin to change the pigment for decorative or other reasons. Tattoos on humans are a type of decorative body modification, while tattoos on animals are most commonly used for identification or branding.

Tattooing has been a Eurasian practice at least since around Neolithic times. Ötzi the Iceman, dating from the fourth to fifth millennium BC, was found in the Ötz valley in the Alps and had approximately 57 carbon tattoos consisting of simple dots and lines on his lower spine, behind his left knee, and on his right ankle. Other mummies bearing tattoos and dating from the end of the second millennium BC have been discovered, such as the Mummy of Amunet from Ancient Egypt and the mummies at Pazyryk on the Ukok Plateau.

Tattoo enthusiasts may refer to tattoos as "Ink", "Tats", "Art", "Pieces", or "Work"; and to the tattooists as "Artists". The latter usage is gaining greater support, with mainstream art galleries holding exhibitions of both conventional and custom tattoo designs.


Copyrighted tattoo designs that are mass-produced and sent to tattoo artists are known as flash, a notable instance of industrial design. Flash sheets are prominently displayed in many tattoo parlors for the purpose of providing both inspiration and ready-made tattoo images to customers [these are perhaps the " saddest " of all , sad for the customer who does not have any artistic ambition and also sad for the tattooist who is simply " painting by numbers "].

The Japanese word irezumi means "insertion of ink" and can mean tattoos using tebori, the traditional Japanese hand method, a Western-style machine, or for that matter, any method of tattooing using insertion of ink. The most common word used for traditional Japanese tattoo designs is Horimono. Japanese may use the word "tattoo" to mean non-Japanese styles of tattooing.

In Japan, tattoos are strongly associated with the yakuza, particularly full body tattoos done the traditional Japanese way (Tebori). Many public Japanese bathhouses (sentō) and gymnasiums often openly ban those bearing large or graphic tattoos in an attempt to prevent Yakuza from entering. The Government of Meiji Japan had outlawed tattoos in the 19th century, a prohibition that stood for 70 years before being repealed in 1948.




In the United States many prisoners and criminal gangs use distinctive tattoos to indicate facts about their criminal behavior, prison sentences, and organizational affiliation. A tear tattoo, for example, can be symbolic of murder, with each tear representing the death of a friend. In prisons, however, there is an elevated risk of infection. Infections that can theoretically be transmitted by the use of unsterilized tattoo equipment or contaminated ink include surface infections of the skin, herpes simplex virus, tetanus, staph, fungal infections, some forms of hepatitis, tuberculosis, and HIV.

Members of the U.S. and British military have an equally well established and longstanding history of tattooing to indicate military units, battles, kills, etc., an association which remains widespread among older Americans.

Maori tattooing would usually start at adolescence, and was used to celebrate important events throughout life. The first tattoo marks the transition from childhood to adulthood and was done during a series of rites and rituals.Needless to say, tattooing by making incisions with a chisel was a painful process, but traditional Maori tattoos were meant to be more than decorative – they were a show of strength, courage and status. Both men and women were tattooed, though women substantially less (maybe because there was less of a need for them to show courage) and on other places (usually the lips and chin). By using a moko pattern for your own tattoo design, you may be insulting the Maori people. It is never ok for a non-maori to wear a Maori tattoo pattern, even if it is done with respect.

The Celts of northern Europe have a rich history of tribal tattooing.
Tattooing was also used by the Nazi regime in concentration camps to tag prisoners.
Tattoos are usually considered forbidden in Sunni Islam. According to the book of Sunni traditions, Sahih Bukhari, "The Prophet forbade [...] mutilation (or maiming) of bodies.
Tattoos are forbidden in Judaism.
In 1980 , Cuban President Fidel Castro relaxed the stringent laws governing Mariel Harbor in Cuba, allowing thousands of Cubans, many of them former convicts, to emigrate to Miami, Florida. All were tattoo'd inside their bottom lips so they could never return to Cuba , Florida Police regularly " lip " a suspect to check if they have a tattoo or not.

Temporary tattoos are popular with models and children as they involve no permanent alteration of the skin but produce a similar appearance that can last anywhere from a few days to several weeks. The most common style is a type of body sticker similar to a decal, which is typically transferred to the skin using water. Although the design is waterproof, it can be removed easily with oil-based creams. Originally inserted as a prize in bubble gum packages, they consisted of a poor quality ink transfer that would easily come off with water or rubbing. Today's vegetable dye temporaries can look extremely realistic and adhere up to 3 weeks due to a layer of glue similar to that found on an adhesive bandage.

Henna tattoos (Mehndi) and silver nitrate stains that appear when exposed to ultraviolet light can take up to two weeks to fade from the skin. Temporary airbrush tattoos (TATs) are applied by covering the skin with a stencil and spraying the skin with ink. In the past, this form of tattoo only lasted about a week. With the newest inks, tattoos can reasonably last for up to two weeks.



So today , the world of celebrity is full of tattoo's ....... Footballers , Actors ....... even celebrity chefs are getting in on the act , I guess if it doesn't interfere with your ability to find work , then whats the problem ? ...... apart from the embarrassment of having someone's name plastered on your body only to find that they have been playing away from home .



The 'Tramp Stamp' or 'Slag Tag' as they are referred to nowadays [you never know what connotations something will have in the future] have become popular in mainstream female culture since the '90s , today we find that even men have started to get them [God knows what they'll be called] , once again .... they can be extremely artistic or predictively boring , either way it is a matter of individual choice but like so many things ....... it has become simply a fashion statement rather than telling the world that you are unique [like everyone else].

Today , the highest incidence of tattoos is found among the gay, lesbian and bisexual population [just so you know]

SO .................. WHATS NEXT ? - pt 1

When I was a lad [fado fado] ....... like every generation before us , we wanted to be different than those who came before. They were 'old school' ..... we were cool and hip , and they just didn't 'get it'.
We wanted to wear our hair long [like the popstars] but they insisted on 'short back'n sides' , they protested ...... we rebelled , as young folk do and eventually during the '70s we got our freedom ....... and along with long hair came bell-bottomed jeans , platform shoes and quarter irons [every heal of every shoe had to have quarter irons on].



We were the 'bomb' ....... or so we thought , as every generation thinks .... we thought that we were breaking new ground when in reality ... we were so tame ....... it had all been done before ..... everything has .

Just because your parents dont get it doesn't mean you're 'cutting edge'.

My mother once remarked while watching The Osmonds on Top of the Pops ..... " their all druggies " ............ oh how we laughed [it was pure chance that she picked the one group that probably was drug free].
Little did we realize how much drug induced music we were in fact listening to .... most of the music of the '60s and '70s was fueled by hard drugs , and they were not the ones to start it off by any means ...... art has been drug inspired for millenia , always has been - always will be ........ nothings new .






In order to be different when I was growing up , to be truly different ... you had to go one step further , you had to rebel against the mainstream of youth culture ..... some became 'skinheads' , some became 'rockers' or 'mods' ....... didn't matter , it had all been done before ....... different names but the same ideas .
Then came 'punk' , the 'new romantics' ........ blah blah blah ..... and on and on it goes right up to todays 'teen werewolves'. All thinking that they're starting something new when in fact they're simply recycling whats gone before .
Unfortunately , nonconformity soon becomes a fad , then a trend , then a fashion ..... and then it becomes meaningless.



So whats the difference between a Goth , an Emo and a teen werewolf ? ....... your guess is as good as mine , perhaps its just getting harder and harder to find something 'new'.



So get out your 'doublet and hose' , or perhaps your 'bonnet and ruff' , may even be a revival of the old wild west .... who knows ....... what I do know is that when it comes , the kids will believe they invented it , they will think they are the first to rebel in such a fashion [and fashion is all it is] ..... and along with all the kids that have ever been ........ they will be wrong.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

" My best chat-up lines " with Dean Gaffney

" Excuse me , do you live around here often ?.

JACK HANDEY QUOTE OF THE DAY


" Some people have never had to struggle . They will never know what it's like to have to work on a farm till their hands are raw just so people can have fresh marijuana ."

LOL

LORD OF THE RINGS WORLD CUP TEAM - No 5

ACE'S 'N EIGHTS

The dead man's hand is a two-pair poker hand, namely "aces and eights". The hand gets its name from the legend of it being the five-card-draw hand held by Wild Bill Hickok at the time of his murder (August 2, 1876). It is accepted that the hand included the aces and eights of both the black suits; although his biographer, Joseph Rosa, says no contemporary citation for his hand has been found, the "accepted version is that the cards were the ace of spades, the ace of clubs, two black eights (clubs and spades), and the queen of clubs as the "kicker". The term, before the murder of Hickok, referred to a variety of hands. The earliest found reference to a "dead man's hand" is 1886, where it was described as "three jacks and a pair of tens

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

LOL

TODAY'S TOP TIP

CONTESTANTS on Wife Swap : Try not to be so surprised at how different the other family is . That is , and always has been , the format of the show .

SADLY ..... THE FUTURE OF ADVERTISING

PETER CROUCH'S FAMILY IN BABOON ATTACK

PETER Crouch’s family were left terrified as they were mugged in South Africa by a pack of marauding baboon

The animals burst in through an open window before running riot through their Sun City apartment.

And the family shook with fear as the baboons, which can grow more than five feet tall, have three-inch fangs and can kill humans, hunted for food.

A source close to the family said: “One minute they were sat back having a bit of peace and quiet, the next thing they were confronted by these terrifying beasts.

“It all sounds funny to say some monkeys popped in and burgled them. The actual experience was anything but.

It was like having wild Alsatian dogs in the lounge with them. Fortunately they left without causing any harm.”

Crouch’s model fiancée Abbey Clancy, 24, said his parents Bruce and Jayne, both 50, were left petrified by the raid in their Vacation Club complex 25 miles from England’s training camp.

Bruce was watching TV in the lounge and Jayne was having a lie down when the animals burst in.

Abbey told James Corden’s World Cup Live on ITV: “These three baboons jumped in, walked straight through the bedroom into the lounge to the fruit bowl, took what they wanted and walked out.”

Baboons often raid homes for food. The resort employs guards to patrol the grounds with pellet guns to scare off the animals.

Safe Alternatives to Smoking Marijuana

Studies have shown that cannabis has never been positively associated with cancer in the lungs, mouth, or upper respiratory system even in users who report smoking over 22,000 joints in their lifetime. However, minor respiratory risks are still a factor. Concentrations of irritants such as ammonia, hydrogen cyanide (HCN), and nitrogen related aromatic amines are produced when burning cannabis. Levels of polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons, those causing cancer, are also produced, although in significantly lower doses then that of tobacco smoke.

So what can be done to reduce or eliminate these risks, but still enjoy the benefits from THC?

The future of medicinal marijuana is floating in a plastic, 2-foot-long turkey roasting bag, being sucked into the lungs of grandmas and AIDS patients at cannabis dispensaries and homes across the country.
The allure to the sick -- and the health-conscious looking for a cleaner high -- is that the toke is nearly smokeless.

The device that generates the smokeless drag is called a marijuana vaporizer. Medical cannabis advocates hope these devices -- which stand slightly larger than a blender and can cost close to $500 -- will help legitimize marijuana's medicinal use and take a swipe at its reputation as the devil's weed.

By heating cannabis to a point where vapors are formed but before the herb combusts, a vaporizer creates a clear substance that, advocates say, is practically free of many of the toxins found in marijuana smoke.

Becoming smoke-free, they hope, will make marijuana more palatable as a medicine to federal officials, scientists and regulators who are dubious about the health value of a smoked drug.

"The smoke aspect is a real problem in making the case for medicinal marijuana," said Dale Gieringer, a Berkeley resident who is executive director of the California branch of the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws and one of the early evangelists of vaporizing technology.



The Bay Area has become the intellectual hub of vaporization -- from a just-completed UCSF study on the technology's effectiveness to Alameda County health officials' plans to allow the devices in new cannabis dispensaries.

In the past two years, more than a dozen manufacturers have sprung up as vaporizers have wafted to the surface of the culture. Which explains the bumper sticker in an Oakland cannabis cooperative: "Got vape?"

GASLAND

." "The largest domestic natural gas drilling boom in history has swept across the United States. The Halliburton-developed drilling technology of "fracking" or hydraulic fracturing has unlocked a "Saudia Arabia of natural gas" just beneath us. But is fracking safe? When filmmaker Josh Fox is asked to lease his land for drilling, he embarks on a cross-country odyssey uncovering a trail of secrets, lies and contamination. A recently drilled nearby Pennsylvania town reports that residents are able to light their drinking water on fire. This is just one of the many absurd and astonishing revelations of a new country called GASLAND. Part verite travelogue, part expose, part mystery, part bluegrass banjo meltdown, part showdown."




How does hydraulic fracturing work?

Hydraulic fracturing or fracking is a means of natural gas extraction employed in deep natural gas well drilling. Once a well is drilled, millions of gallons of water, sand and proprietary chemicals are injected, under high pressure, into a well. The pressure fractures the shale and props open fissures that enable natural gas to flow more freely out of the well.

What is horizontal hydraulic fracturing?

Horizontal hydrofracking is a means of tapping shale deposits containing natural gas that were previously inaccessible by conventional drilling. Vertical hydrofracking is used to extend the life of an existing well once its productivity starts to run out, sort of a last resort. Horizontal fracking differs in that it uses a mixture of 596 chemicals, many of them proprietary, and millions of gallons of water per frack. This water then becomes contaminated and must be cleaned and disposed of.

What is the Halliburton Loophole?

In 2005, the Bush/ Cheney Energy Bill exempted natural gas drilling from the Safe Drinking Water Act. It exempts companies from disclosing the chemicals used during hydraulic fracturing. Essentially, the provision took the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) off the job. It is now commonly referred to as the Halliburton Loophole.

What is the Safe Drinking Water Act?

In 1974, the Safe Drinking Water Act (SDWA) was passed by Congress to ensure clean drinking water free from both natural and man-made contaminates.

What is the FRAC Act?

The FRAC Act (Fracturing Responsibility and Awareness to Chemical Act) is a House bill intended to repeal the Halliburton Loophole and to require the natural gas industry to disclose the chemicals they use.

How deep do natural gas wells go?

The average well is up to 8,000 feet deep. The depth of drinking water aquifers is about 1,000 feet. The problems typically stem from poor cement well casings that leak natural gas as well as fracking fluid into water wells.

How much water is used during the fracking process?

Generally 1-8 million gallons of water may be used to frack a well. A well may be fracked up to 18 times.

What fluids are used in the fracking process?

For each frack, 80-300 tons of chemicals may be used. Presently, the natural gas industry does not have to disclose the chemicals used, but scientists have identified volatile organic compounds (VOCs) such as benzene, toluene, ethylbenzene and xylene.

In what form does the natural gas come out of the well?

The gas comes up wet in produced water and has to be separated from the wastewater on the surface. Only 30-50% of the water is typically recovered from a well. This wastewater can be highly toxic.

What is done with the wastewater?

Evaporators evaporate off VOCs and condensate tanks steam off VOCs, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The wastewater is then trucked to water treatment facilities.

What is a well's potential to cause air pollution?

As the VOCs are evaporated and come into contact with diesel exhaust from trucks and generators at the well site, ground level ozone is produced. Ozone plumes can travel up to 250 miles.


Tuesday, June 22, 2010

If you played for Brazil, What would your name be?






















click here to find out ------ > http://www.minimalsworld.net/BrazilName/brazilian.shtml

Joe Lieberman’s law to shut down the Internet

According to Sen. Joe Lieberman, the Internet is a ‘US national asset’, and the US should have the power to shut it down on the basis of a ‘cyber 911'. Civil libertarians are furious.
The new bill is intended to give the US President the power to do just that. This power is intended to give CYBERCOM, the new US military cyber watchdog, the capabilities to defend the US against cyber attacks. CYBERCOM is also currently in the process of setting itself up.
These are very sweeping legislative powers, and international unease is already surfacing.Lieberman’s political position as an independent/ nominal Republican further confuses the issue in terms of its origins. He’s chair of the Homeland Security Commission, but that’s not a given power to make policy for a Democrat administration.

Criticism has been instant:

1. A major shutdown would seriously disrupt the world.
2. The rest of the world has a lot invested in its internet infrastructure, which was originally based on global phone lines, and has since evolved to work through other media. The internet may be a US idea originally, but the modern net is not US property.
3. There are a lot of core internet functions based in the US, based on demography. Arguably, that’s a weakness of itself. While the US has undeniably been the subject of constant cyber attack, being the place where all the targets are hasn’t helped.
4. The threats cited are nothing new. Cyber spies, cyber crime etc. are like a weather report.
5. Cyber attacks have escalated, but that’s in line with internet growth.
6. It’s not like other countries aren’t receiving attacks.
7. Nobody denies the US has a right to defend itself, or that the Internet was originally a US concept. But the world has changed. This is a global problem, and overall consensus is that it should have a global solution, with consultation, not a Cold War nuclear strike methodology.

Tornado caught on video destroying Montana's largest sports arena

Deadly tornadoes have been blasting the US Midwest since May. Montana was hit by a tornado that tore down its largest sports and entertainment facility. The Rimrock Auto Park was destroyed spreading debris for hundreds of miles as shown in this video.
The city of Billings Montana and Yellowstone County officials declared a state of emergency after the largest tornado to hit the city in more than 50 years ripped the roof off of a sports arena, causing millions of dollars in damage.



MetraPark, located in Billings, is Montana’s center for events. It is a multi-facility events campus, the largest of its kind within a 5 state region with professional management solely dedicated to the events business. MetraPark serves a primary market area of more than 250 miles in every direction .

The Arena, which can hold up to 12,000 people, is host to Montana’s largest concerts, family shows, rodeos, ice shows, motor sports events, and more. Local high school and college graduations are held in the arena annually and it is often host to many of the states’ district, divisional, and state high school tournaments. It is also home field to the Billings Outlaws United Indoor Football team

LORD OF THE RINGS WORLD CUP TEAM - No.4

YES .. WE HAVE NO BAFANA'S

World Cup hosts South Africa bowed out of the competition on a winning note after a 2-1 success over dispirited France in Bloemfontein.

Both teams entered the Group A showdown needing to win, and relying on a favour from the other game between Uruguay and Mexico, to stand a chance of reaching the last 16.

And it was South Africa who briefly harboured hopes of scrambling into the knockout phase when they led 2-0 at half-time as Mexico trailed Uruguay in the other match, only for a French consolation to shatter home fans' dreams.

Bongani Khumelo had headed Bafana Bafana into a 20th minute lead before France were down to 10 men after the unfortunate sending-off of Yoann Gourcuff.

Katlego Mphela, who had endured unsuccessful stints in France with Strasbourg and Reims earlier in his career, grabbed a second goal to send South Africa into the break dreaming of qualification.

But Florent Malouda pulled a goal back for France on 70 minutes and South Africa were unable to respond as they became the first host country to exit the World Cup at the group stage.

TODAY'S TOP TIP

HOMEOWNERS : When selling your house , replace your furniture with children's tables and chairs , and use a dwarf estate agent . Instantly , your house will seem more roomy than it actually is .

Annelies Marie "Anne" Frank