Monday, July 30, 2012

HAS BALE BECOME MORE AERODYNAMIC THIS SUMMER ?

BALE AGAINST LA GALAXY THIS SUMMER ........................... PLAYING FOR WALES LAST YEAR

Sunday, July 29, 2012

FUTURE FEATURES

LONE RANGER (2013 film) is an upcoming action Western film directed by Gore Verbinski and distributed by Walt Disney Pictures. The film stars Armie Hammer in the lead role and Johnny Depp as Tonto.


Filming commenced the first week of March 2012 and on March 8, the first photograph of Armie Hammer as the Lone Ranger and Johnny Depp as Tonto was released, the release date of the movie is July 3, 2013.

WORLD WAR Z (2013 film) is an upcoming post-apocalyptic horror film based on the novel of the same name by Max Brooks. The film is directed by Marc Forster and stars Brad Pitt, World War Z follows U.N. worker Gerry Lane, as he searches the globe for information that can stop the zombie outbreak that is bringing down nations.


MAN OF STEEL (2013 film) is an upcoming American superhero film under the development of Zack Snyder, Christopher Nolan, and David S. Goyer. Based on the DC Comics character Superman, the film will be a reboot of the Superman film series.



Henry Cavill will play the Man of Steel, with Kevin Costner and Diane Lane as his adoptive parents Jonathan and Martha Kent, Russell Crowe is Jor El and Amy Adams will play Lois Lane.

The film entered principal photography in August 2011, for a June 14, 2013 release.

UNTITLED STAR TREK SEQUEL (2013 film) will be a sequel to 2009's Star Trek, directed by J. J. Abrams. The science fiction action film is currently untitled, and began filming in January 2012, with a scheduled release date of May 17, 2013.


English actor Benedict Cumberbatch had been cast to play the role of the villain in the film. Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldana, Karl Urban and Simon Pegg are all back as the crew of the Enterprise.

SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR (2013 film) is an upcoming crime thriller neo-noir film and sequel to the 2005 film Sin City. Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller are set to direct a script co-written by them and William Monahan and based on the second book in the Sin City series by Miller.


Clive Owen, Mickey Rourke, Rosario Dawson, Michael Madsen and Jessica Alba all reprise their roles with Rachel Weisz rumoured to be playing the part of Ava Lord. Sin City: A Dame to Kill For is scheduled to be released on October 4, 2013.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

The Olympic Cauldron Lighting In London

The Cauldron, however, isn't really a cauldron. Sports Illustrated's Nick Zaccardi tweeted that the "cauldron is 200+ copper petals -- at least 1 for each nation. At end of Games, each nation takes petal, cauldron will cease to exist."
/b>

AND SO IT BEGINS ...................

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Why Australian hurdler Michelle Jenneke is meme of the moment

Australian hurdler Michelle Jenneke missed the cut to compete at the Olympics but she is an Internet superstar, thanks to her pre-race dance.

At least four videos of the 19-year-old’s loose-limbed warm-up wiggle have hit more than 2 million views online in a few days.



Described by Athletics Australia as “one of the most bubbly athletes on the Australian Youth Olympics Team on a normal day,” Jenneke is all smiles as she bounces, dances and shimmies at the starting line for the 100-metre hurdle race at the IAAF Barcelona Junior World Championships on July 15.

“I don’t focus too much before I run,” Jenneke, known as Shelly, said in an Australian Olympics video last year during a youth competition in Singapore.

“I like to stay as relaxed as I can.”

And relaxed she is as she wins her heat, still smiling and apparently barely winded.

“I’m so excited, I’m almost speechless, I’m so happy,” she said after the race, Athletics Australia reported. “I felt great warming up.”

Looked great, too, said Australia media, where even the staid The Australian crowned her “a girl with all the moves.”

Jenneke finished fifth in the finals, however, and so missed the cut for the London Games starting Friday.

SKY SPORTS

Monday, July 23, 2012

THIS WEEK, I WILL BE MOSTLY DRINKING WHISTLEPIG


WhistlePig Whiskey is located on one of the oldest farms in Vermont. Cultivation began  in the early 19th century in what was then known as the hamlet Shaksboro.


WhistlePig’s Master Distiller, Dave Pickerell, a luminary in the world of whiskey, is one of the nation’s preeminent master distillers. Before joining WhistlePig, Dave spent 14 years as Maker's Mark Master Distiller in Loretto, Kentucky. However, he has since joined the WhistlePig team in order to create what he regards as his magnum opus: WhistlePig 100% Straight Rye Whiskey. To this end, they are proud to report that their first whiskey, a 10yr old Straight Rye Whiskey, was awarded by Wine Enthusiast its"highest ever" rating for rye whiskey at 96 pts.


In America, a whisky must be distilled from a mash of at least 51% rye grain in order for it to be called straight rye. WhistlePig is distilled from 100% rye grain. It is bottled in Vermont for the American market, where it is sold at 50% alc./vol. (100 proof) as straight rye whiskey.

WhistlePig is available for US$70.00 at a few selected retailers including Binny’s in Chicago and Borisal Liquor & Wine in Brooklyn, New York. You can also order it online from www.DrinkUpNy.com.

Thank You 'Breaking Bad's Chief George Merkert'

@TWEET OF THE WEEK

@themichaelowen ................ 'Do you feel a great affinity with Bradley Wiggins, who has also won a championship while sitting down ?'


Flippin' ouch !

Sunday, July 22, 2012

IS FERGUSON GETTING BORING ?

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson believes Chelsea's new signing - Belgian playmaker Eden Hazard - is not worth the £32m the Blues paid to sign him. The 21-year-old transferred from French club Lille earlier this summer, after rejecting moves to Manchester City and United. The Belgian revealed he chose Chelsea over United after the Blues' billionaire owner, Roman Abramovich, spoke to him personally.

On 28 April, for the third consecutive season, Hazard was nominated for the UNFP Player of the Year award. Two weeks later, he was awarded the prestigious honour ahead of the likes of Olivier Giroud and Younès Belhanda. After capturing the award, Hazard became the second player in the awards' history after former Paris Saint-Germain striker Pauleta to achieve the honour in consecutive seasons. He was also included in the Team of the Year for the third straight season.


Is this the same Sir Alex who had a bid of £27.2m for Lucas Moura turned down in the last week, and is preparing a £32m bid right now according to sources, for a 19 year old who is unproven outside of Brazil, and is always behind Hulk in the starting lineup for his country ?

The same Sir Alex who agreed the exact same £32m bid for Hazard but lost out to Chelsea ..... ?

The same Sir Alex who paid £34m to Leeds 10 years ago for Rio Ferdinand ?

MAKE UP YOUR MIND FERGUSON

SEASON 2011/2012

Friday, July 20, 2012

THIS WEEKEND, I WILL BE MOSTLY LISTENING TO

Shooting Deaths Reported At Midnight Film

Up to twelve people are confirmed dead after a man opened fire and hurled a tear gas bomb during a midnight Dark Knight Rises film premiere near Denver, Colorado.

Witnesses say the man was wearing a "Bane-style" gas mask and body armour during the attack and a bomb squad are reportedly searching for a further explosive device in an adjacent car park.

Justin Joseph, of Fox affiliate KDVR said the tear gas caused "mass panic" and that as people got up and tried to flee, they became "moving targets" as the man opened fire.

Several children were in the theatre and an 80-year-old is believed to have been shot dead at point blank range.


The screening was taking place at the Century 16 Theatre in Aurora and the trailers for the film had just ended when the attack began.

Brenda Stuart of 850 KOA Radio told Sky News that the audience initially: "Thought the gunshots were part of the movie."

Paul Otermat saw the attack unfold, and told Sky News he saw a man in a black jacket and cap walk to the middle of the screen.

He said: "I thought it was a publicity stunt at first. Then he threw tear gas at the crowd and started firing shots."

Police officers from all local jurisdictions are at the scene, as are FBI agents, prompting fears the incident is related to a terrorist attack.

One suspect is in custody and there is a manhunt underway for a second, various media reports. There is speculation there may have been two attacks, with the second taking place in an adjacent screening room.

Nicole Williams, at the nearby Swedish Medical Centre told 9News the hospital was notified of a "mass casualty incident" at 1.15am.

Up to 40 people are feared injured and surrounding streets have been cordoned off.

.............................................................................................................................................

" I was shown how fragile life was on Saturday. I saw the terror on bystanders faces. I saw the victims of a senseless crime. I saw lives change. I was reminded that we dont know when or where our time on Earth will end. When or where we will breathe our last breath. For one man, it was in the middle of a busy food court on a Saturday evening.

I say all the time that every moment we have to live our life is a blessing. So often I have found myself taking it for granted. Every hug from a family member. Every laugh we share with friends. Even the times of solitude are all blessings. Every second of every day is a gift.

After Saturday evening, I know I truly understand how blessed I am for each second I am given.
I feel like I am overreacting about what I experienced. But I cant help but be thankful for whatever caused me to make the choices that I made that day. My mind keeps replaying what I saw over in my head. I hope the victims make a full recovery. I wish I could shake this odd feeling from my chest. The feeling thats reminding me how blessed I am. The same feeling that made me leave the Eaton Center. The feeling that may have potentially saved my life. "

JESSICA REDFIELD WAS SHOT AND KILLED LAST NIGHT AT A MIDNIGHT SCREENING OF THE DARK KNIGHT RISES, ALONG WITH 11 OTHERS WHEN A GUNMAN OPENED FIRE IN A THEATER. THE ABOVE IS FROM HER BLOG, WRITTEN IN JUNE, AFTER SHE NARROWLY ESCAPED ANOTHER SENSELESS SHOOTING AT A MALL IN TORONTO. (VIA NEWSWEEK)

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Eden Hazard's brother set for Chelsea switch

Lens sporting director Antoine Sibierski has admitted the west London side's interest in the player after the winger turned down a new contract at the French club

Thorgan Hazard looks set to join his older brother Eden Hazard at Chelsea, after Lens sporting director Antoine Sibierski admits the club are resigned to losing the player.

Eden Hazard completed his move to Stamford Bridge in June for a fee rumoured to be around £32 million, and it appears that his 19-year-old brother has decided that his future also lies in London.

Lens sporting director, Antoine Sibierski said at first he had no intention of letting the U19 Belguim international leave, but he is willing to let the player leave to join the Champions League winners.

Sibierski told the official club website: "It should be official tomorrow. [When I arrived] there was no intention of letting him go and I met him very quickly after my arrival to show my confidence in him.

"He still had one year left and it was proposed he extended it but he told me eye to eye that did not interest him and he wanted to leave Lens.

"I realised 48 hours later why, when I learned Chelsea wanted him. I understand."

Lens coach Jean-Louis Garcia stated: "He is a boy of 19, his elder brother signs for Chelsea and he is urged to do so by the same club, who won the Champions League.

"Congratulations to Thorgan. Unfortunately we cannot go against such an opportunity. Good luck to him."

Carroll could be released back into wild

ANDY Carroll may be allowed to roam free amongst his kind once more as Liverpool consider an offer for his rehoming.

The undomesticated Geordie has had an unhappy time since his capture and display at Liverpool, despite the club’s best efforts to recreate his natural environment by keeping his pen stocked with WKD and edible nightclub bouncers.

Liverpool manager Brendan Rogers said: “Newcastle have offered to release him into the brutal but beautiful landscape of the Bigg Market where he can gallop after hen parties to his heart’s content.

Liverpool and England striker Andrew Buckminster Carroll longs for the wild
“While it would be a shame to lose such a magnificent specimen as Andy, when he’s hardly touching the pies we toss into his pen you have to concede he’s not happy.

Rodgers is now looking into the practicalities of transporting Carroll back to Newcastle, as long journeys present the risk of stress and injury in his containment pen.

The manager will work with the handlers in the England camp who organised the thousand mile journey from Liverpool to Krakow for Carroll for the Euro 2012 tournament by recreating a strip club in the hold of a cargo plane.

Liverpool will take a massive loss by releasing Carroll but hope to make the most of his enclosure by replacing him with Manchester City’s Tevez. The club’s keepers feel it is the environment the striker, who has frequently escaped from Manchester City to return to his homeland, may be looking for.

Rodgers said: “I think we’ve learned a lesson that you just can’t keep Geordies in captivity, however much they may fascinate us, as it can do terrible things to them – anybody that saw the Beardsley they had here years ago will tell you that.”

PLUMBERS CLEAVAGE

Sunday, July 15, 2012

TODAYS JOKE

Husband  to wife:

Husband: "Shall we try swapping positions tonight Dear ?"

Wife: "That's a good idea - Why don't you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart !"

I'll get me prenuptual !

Look Robin, Arsenal can win trophies! Gunners beat Southampton to lift cup

Southampton and Arsenal were participating in the Markus Liebherr Memorial Cup, along with Belgian side Anderlecht, which took place at St Mary's Stadium.


Liebherr passed away in August 2010 and this was the second time the cup had been run in his memory, Spanish outfit Atletico Bilbao winning the inaugural event.


Each team faced each other in three 45 minute matches, with Arsenal running out eventual winners, after beating Anderlecht 1-0 and drawing 1-1 with Saints.

The latter result produced the most needless penalty shoot-out in the history of penalty shoot-outs - the Gunners' name was already on the cup but competition rules dictate drawn matches will be settled thus.

Rodriguez cooly dispatched his spot kick as his side won 5-4, with Kyle Ebicilio the guilty party for Arsenal.

Even though the ground was far from full, Saints fans made a reasonable racket – particularly the traditionally rowdy Northam stand.

Ironic cheers were the order of the day for Arsenal fans as they celebrated victory - and, at long last, a trophy.

Friday, July 13, 2012

JOHN TERRY TRIAL: DAY 5

I like football but I'm a woman !

There is nothing more sexy to a man, than a woman wearing his favourite club's football shirt.

Chelsea is my favourite team because they have the best looking players but my wardrobe contains a replica kit for every single premiership team, and Arsenal. I'd say I'm more a fan of football than a fan of any particular team. This means that I can pick the most suitable shirt to charm a particular guy.

But don't imagine that I just pick a football shirt to match a man - that would be stupid. No sometimes I choose a shirt and let the man pick me. I can influence the type of man I end up shagging just by the colour of my shirt, for example when I wear black and white stripes I tend to attract fat men who drink ale, whilst red shirts seem to appeal more to Londoners, it's funny that, as they always talk about northern teams. I don't know why this is, it must be complicated science, but I have a knack for guessing correctly.


Before going to a match I always make sure I pick a waterproof mascara to give me the option of crying in response to a dramatic score. I also pick a really short skirt or tight fitting trousers to prove that I'm a size 8, since the shirts are too baggy to really show off my figure. Once I'm satisfied with my look in a full-length mirror, I'm ready to hit the pub.

I usually choose sports bars with large screens. I find myself a seat as close to the screen as possible so that people can't help looking at me. I've memorised key footballing moments such as The Corner Click and The Penalty Shooter. If I'm really trying to catch someone's eye, I stand up just as the match defining moment is about to take place, like when the players are building a wall. I sure get a lot of focus then.

Post-football match sex varies a lot. When a guy's team has lost he's generally unfocussed and boring, but bed a winner and you're a winner. When a man has just watched his football team win he is full of energy and passion. Sometimes I switch which team I'm supporting at half time just to get the better sex. Sometimes you have to move pub to pull that one off.

My friends are all jealous of my interest in football. They only wish they understood the game as I do, but I do give them tips ...... 'If you can't spot any players on the pitch, it might be half time', is a good one for beginners, 'People suddenly standing up and cheering can indicate a goal' is another good one. 'If you can't remember which direction your team is shooting, toss a coin - that's how it's decided at the beginning of the match so it must be right' is one for the more advanced fan.

So, good luck to all the girls who heed my advice, you will be a WAG before you know it.

SHOULDN'T THIS BE UP AND RUNNING ALREADY ?

IS THIS THE MOST CONFUSING CASE EVER ?

This was the actual Sports page that was online for 3 hours last night




Or is there an agenda ?

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Piers Morgan: ‘I don’t feel bad’ for hounding a 21-year-old woman off Twitter

It’s an age-old tale: CNN anchor meets girl by harassing her on Twitter; girl refuses to accept anchor’s further advances; anchor has a Twitter temper tantrum.

On Sunday, Piers Morgan joined thousands of Twitter users in mocking 21-year-old Georgia Ford for tweeting, “‘Is Wimbledon always held in London?”



Emma Gilbey Keller@emmagkeller 8 Jul 12
Anyone? “@Georgia_Ford: Is wimbledon always held in London?”

Piers Morgan

@piersmorgan
No, sometimes it's in Paris RT @emmagkeller Anyone? “@Georgia_Ford: Is wimbledon always held in London?”

Say, wasn’t it the infallible Morgan who said this about male comedian Patrice O’Neal?

It’s a sad day for comedy with the death of Patrice O’Neal, who I know that you knew. She died of a stroke today. I want to take a quick look at Patrice on Jimmy Fallon, to remind everyone just how funny she was.

But go ahead, Piers. Keep tossing those stones from your glass house.

Ford deleted her account after relentless abuse from the Twitterverse.


Jack Ward@JWard992
@Georgia_Ford Possibly the stupidest person alive you moron @JoeyMaloney95 @chace17drop @Marly_D13

@keeleyann
RT @Georgia_Ford: Is wimbledon always held in London? < — you have got to be kidding me. What a feckin moron.— Keeley (@keeleyann) July 08, 2012 8 Jul 12

  But as it turns out, the question wasn’t as dumb as many thought.

Paul Lewis@paullewismoney
“@Georgia_Ford: Is wimbledon always held in London?” No. Before 1965 Wimbledon was in Surrey. So not a daft question.
8 Jul 12

Periwinkle Jones@peachesanscream
If you tweeted a 'clever' comment at that poor lass @Georgia_Ford you haven't got a leg to stand on should you ever get trolled.
9 Jul 12

Nearly 24 hours later, Morgan decided he felt bad for helping harass a young woman into deleting her Twitter account.

Piers Morgan

@piersmorgan
I feel bad @Georgia_Ford quit Twitter over her 'Is Wimbledon always held in London?' question. We all say daft things. Let's get her back.
9 Jul 12

Ever the magnanimous chap, Morgan offered to go one-on-one with Ford on the radio.

Piers Morgan

@piersmorgan
OK RT @newsleader @Georgia_Ford Piers - can we get you on phone with Georgia on her local station @metroradiouk Maybe you can persuade her?
9 Jul 12

Ford declined the invitation via Facebook.



Piers Morgan

@piersmorgan
Oh dear, it would appear @Georgia_Ford isn't too keen on hearing from me: bit.ly/MV2GKu ! Which is a shame, as I had good news.
9 Jul 12

Piers Morgan

@piersmorgan
..So, technically, @Georgia_Ford was right to ask the question because the Wimbledon Championships weren't held in London until after 1965.
9 Jul 12

Piers Morgan

@piersmorgan
But given @Georgia_Ford 's response to my attempt to make amends, I don't feel bad any more. Sounds like she can handle herself just fine!
9 Jul 12

You were wrong Morgan ......... now live with it you bully.

JOHN TERRY TRIAL: DAY 3

In a hilarious misunderstanding, Terry was asked to repeat evidence that he had been sent off four times in his career.

“Can you say, please, four times?” asked his QC, George Carter-Stephenson.

“Please, please, please, please,” Terry responded.

Guffaws of laughter broke out around the courtroom at the misunderstanding, which was a result of the judge asking Terry to speak up.

The footballer appeared confused by response from the courtroom.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

'Queen of Clown Porn' dies aged 30 after brave public battle with breast cancer

eh .... You really don't want to know ...... believe me


Why not just look at this nice picture of clowns not  having sex with Ronald McDonald.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

5 DAYS ...................... AND COUNTING

DO YOU THINK S'RALEX KNEW ?

Manchester United's new signing brings another WAG to Old Trafford, 'adult entertainment star' Ameri Ichinose

Some people may be sceptical about Manchester United's motives in signing Shinji Kagawa, but one thing the Japanese superstar is certain to bring (apart from shirt sales) is a bit more glamour.

Shinji Kagawa's girlfiend is 'adult entertainment' sensation Ameri Ichinose and there's no doubt that she'd provide something a bit different to the Old Trafford players and families lounge alongside the likes of Coleen Rooney.

He been in Europe for just two years, having signed for Borussia Dortmund from Cerezo Osaka in 2010, but it was only after finding fame with his dazzling Bundesliga displays that he became romantically involved with gorgeous Ichinose, who has also worked under the names Ayaka Misora and Erika Kurisu.

DAMAGES: FINAL SEASON

The fifth and final season of the legal drama series Damages will premiere on the Audience Network, an entertainment channel owned by DirecTV, on July 11, 2012 and conclude on September 12, 2012. The season will feature 10 episodes, bringing the series total to 59.

ROBIN VAN PERSIE OFFICIAL FANSITE HACKED

This is not what you should see when you visit his official site, but you will -> www.robinvpersie.com/


Robin Van Persie came home last night to find his house was on fire .................... Police suspect Arsene.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Chelsea win the Oscar... Roman beats AVB to grab €25m Brazil playmaker

Despite already splashing out £39m on Marko Marin and Eden Hazard, Roman Abramovich's latest revolution shows no signs of abating after he moved in for the Internacional playmaker who is regarded as one of the most exciting talents to emerge from Brazil in years.


Oscar shot to prominence last summer when he became the first player to score a hat-trick in the FIFA Under 20 World Cup final against Portugal.

The Brazilian - full name Oscar dos Santos Emboaba Junior - was also watched by Real Madrid and Barcelona.

He is adept as a playmaker or in the role behind the striker and equally comfortable on the left or right of midfield. He is described as a 'typically brilliant Brazilian No 10'.

The acquisition will put pressure on the position of Stamford Bridge idol Juan Mata, who is expected to be rested at the start of the season due to his participation in the Olympics for Spain.

Chelsea fans will be able to get an early sight of the new signing as he is also a member of his country's Olympic squad.

ERNEST GOES TO ..............................

Ernest Borgnine: (January 24, 1917 – July 8, 2012) was an American film and television actor whose career spanned more than six decades. He was an unconventional lead in many films of the 1950s, winning an Oscar in 1955 for Marty. On television, he played Quinton McHale in the 1962–1966 series McHale's Navy and co-starred in the mid-1980s action series Airwolf, in addition to a wide variety of other roles. Borgnine was also known for his role as Mermaid Man in the animated television series SpongeBob SquarePants. Borgnine earned an Emmy Award nomination at age 92 for his work on the series ER.

Borgnine joined the United States Navy in 1935, after graduation from James Hillhouse High School[5] in New Haven, Connecticut. He was discharged in 1941, re-enlisted when the United States entered World War II, and served until 1945 (a total of ten years), reaching the rate of gunner's mate 1st class.

In 1951, he moved to Los Angeles, California, where he eventually received his big break in From Here to Eternity (1953), playing the sadistic Sergeant "Fatso" Judson, who beats a stockade prisoner in his charge, Angelo Maggio (played by Frank Sinatra). Borgnine built a reputation as a dependable character actor and appeared in early film roles as villains, including movies like Johnny Guitar, Vera Cruz and Bad Day at Black Rock. But in 1955, the actor starred as a warm-hearted butcher in Marty, the film version of the television play of the same name, which gained him an Academy Award for Best Actor over Frank Sinatra, James Dean (who had died by the time of the ceremony), and former best actor winners Spencer Tracy and James Cagney.

Borgnine's film career continued successfully through the 1960s, 1970s and the 1980s, including Emperor of the North, The Vikings, The Flight of the Phoenix, The Dirty Dozen, Ice Station Zebra, The Poseidon Adventure, The Black Hole and Escape from New York. One of his most famous roles became that of Dutch, a member of The Wild Bunch in the 1969 Western classic from director Sam Peckinpah.

Ernest was as a voice actor in SpongeBob SquarePants on television, he voiced the part of Mermaid Man (Old) from 1999-2012.

Borgnine died of renal failure on July 8, 2012, at Cedars-Sinai Medical Centre in Los Angeles, California. His wife and children were at his side. Borgnine was 95 years old.

JOHN TERRY TRIAL: DAY 1

The court heard from lip-reader and sign language interpreter Susan Whitewood, who was asked to assess footage of the match.


In March, Terry's request to have lip-reading evidence banned from his race row trial was refused in court.

She said Ferdinand said "Oi, you", then there was an obstruction from the referee's head.
'Then, "s******* your mate's missus", and another word I cannot decipher.'

Asked to explain what Terry said on the footage, which was broadcast during the match, she said: 'The first words were "yeah I" and there was a word after I could not get...Then there was an obstruction for a moment and then it says "you f**ing black c**t", and then a pause, and then "f**ing knobhead".'

But she admitted that lip-reading was not an exact science and agreed under cross-examination that educated guesswork was involved 'to a degree'.

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN LIP-READ ?



IT'S NOT AS EASY AS IT LOOKS.

PERHAPS YOU'LL REMEMBER THE OLD JOKE ............................................

Two deaf guys walk into a pub in Burnley.
One gives his mate a twenty pound note and says: "You get the drinks in. I'll find us a seat."

So the 1st deaf guy goes to the bar and orders two pints of lager. The barman serves him and gives him two pounds change. "What's this?" the deaf guy asks, looking at his change. "You charge nine pounds a pint in here these days?"
"Nah," the barman says. "We've got a live band in tonight. There's a £5 cover charge. You and your mate, that's a tenner."
"Live band?"
"Live band," the bartender confirms.
"What, rock and roll, Indie, hip-hop, grunge...?"
"Country and Western," the barman replies.
"Ri-ight..." the deaf guy says as he takes the drinks.

He rejoins his mate. Puts the drinks on the table.
"Where's me change?" the friend asks.
He gets handed the two quid.
"What? They charge nine quid a fuggin pint in here now do they? What's the crack?"
"They've got a band on. £5 cover charge."
"A band?"
"Oh yes."
"What? Rock n roll, Indie, hip hop, grunge?"
"Nah,"
"What then?"
"Some c*** from Preston."

JOHN TERRY TRIAL

The charge: Terry will be accused that, "on 23rd October 2011 at Loftus Road football ground you used threatening, abusive or insulting words or behaviour, or disorderly behaviour within the hearing or sight of a person likely to be caused harassment, alarm or distress thereby and at the time of doing so, or immediately before doing so, demonstrated hostility towards that person based on his membership or presumed membership of a particular racial group contrary to section 31 (1) (c) of the Crime and Disorder Act 1998."

The venue: Westminster Magistrates Court, 181 Marylebone Road, London

The magistrate: Chief Magistrate Howard Riddle

The time and date: Proceedings begin at 10am on 9th July and are scheduled to last five days

Prosecuting counsel: Duncan Penny

Defence counsel: George Carter-Stephenson QC

First witness: Anton Ferdinand, who will be called after the opening speeches on Monday.

Other prosecution witnesses: Six, including Ferdinand. They are four police officers and a lip reading expert. Statements from several other witnesses will be read out to the court as the defence does not wish to challenge their content.

After the prosecution witnesses have been questioned, the defence may ask the magistrate to dismiss the case on the basis that the prosecution case has not been strong enough to answer.

Defence witnesses: Three, in addition to various witness statements to be read out.

Will John Terry testify himself? The defence has yet to say whether or not Terry will stand up in court, but he is not required to do so.

After the defence witnesses have been questioned: Both counsel will present closing arguments.

After closing arguments: The magistrate will normally retire to consider the case before presenting his verdict. Judgement may occasionally be "reserved", with the magistrate later issuing a written decision.

In the event of acquittal: Terry would be fully exonerated.

In the event of a guilty verdict: The maximum penalty is a fine of £2,500, with no question of a stricter sentence. Before issuing the sentence the Chief Magistrate will hear submissions from both prosecution and defence on aggravating or mitigating circumstances that should affect the sentence.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

IS IT ART ....... OR IS IT A MEME ?

For much of the past year, the face of Tom Hanks—inarguably America's Most Beloved Thespian—has been plastered around the Lower East Side by the mysterious Hanksy, a street artist (or collective, it's unknown) who mimics the iconic work of the even more mysterious Banksy. And now, Hanksy is gone legit: the artist/collective have had its first gallery show at Krause Gallery in January 2012.


Everyone' favorite Tom Hanks-obsessed, Banksy-aping street artist is back at it with a new project—The Wooster Collective posted two photos of new Hanksy pieces focusing on sitcom legends Ted Danson and Bill Cosby.



In an interview with The Awl, Hanksy gave some clues as to this new direction: "I'm working on a series of new stuff. It's still very humorous and relies heavily on easily known pop-culture references. It may or may not include Tom Hanks/Banksy tie-ins and while nothing's been put up yet, New York can expect something very soon."



Friday, July 6, 2012

Spain's football clubs cause stir in Germany

In a sign of how much EU states influence one another’s affairs in the current eurozone crisis, Spain pulled back from allowing debt relief to its football clubs in reaction to German disapproval.

Spain last weekend suggested that its top football clubs may not have to pay back their multi-million debt, just as Madrid has secured more breathing room from eurozone partners for its deficit targets.

Secretary of State for Sport Miguel Cardenal told Marca sports daily that the government was looking at ways to wipe off the football clubs' debt of €750 million they owe the state in unpaid taxes. Clubs like Real Madrid and Barca also owe some other €600 million in social contributions.

He said he was planning "make this debt disappear within a reasonable time frame."

But the reaction was swift in Germany.

Bild's sports page on Tuesday ran with the headline "Will German taxpayers eventually have to fork out for Messi and Ronaldo?" Lionel Messi receives €2.5 million a month from FC Barcelona, while Cristiano Ronaldo earns over €1 million a month from Real Madrid.

And German MEP Elmar Brok, a close ally of Chancellor Angela Merkel, told the same paper that he will ask the EU commission to ask the Spanish government for an official reaction. "Debt restructuring means state aid and violates competition rules. The EU commission has to look into it," he said, encouraging German football clubs to file complaints.

Bayern Munchen's chief Uli Honess told Die Zeit that such a tax amnesty would be "unthinkable" and "a blow" to other football clubs. And Hans-Joachim Watzke from Borrusia Dortmund said he would have "zero understanding" if the Spanish government pulled this through.

According to a study by Barcelona university, some 20 top football clubs in Spain owed the state some €3.5 billion in 2010, mostly due to having hired expensive foreign players. More than a dozen clubs are in insolvency procedures and some have already gotten tax amnesties from the regional governments.

On Thursday (16 March), Cardenal made a u-turn and said the football clubs' debt would no longer be wiped from the books.

"We are working to provide a solution to the problem. What the government can offer are policy instruments so that the clubs can cope with this situation, but neither will forgive the debt or provide more subsidies, "

Robin van Persie's Fakebook profile

Manchester United sign Spanish player who doesn't actually exist

You can say what you like about Manchester United's transfer policy since the Glazer family took over the club but at least they've been signing players who actually exist. Last night some pranksters invented an 18 year old goalkeeper called Rodrigo Alvarez and announced he'd signed for Manchester United.

A couple of Twitter accounts plus the cunning use of Spanish and the news really took off with people wishing him good luck and others sending him gushing praise. That's all humourous but what always sets these events apart as particulary funny is when media outlets fall for it.


Step forward the excellent 101 Great Goals, and their report on the signing:

Following in the footsteps of David De Gea a year ago, reports in Spain this evening claim Manchester United have snapped up another goal keeper from Atletico Madrid – Rodrigo Alvarez.

The 18-year-old custodian has impressed for the Atletico Madrid and Spanish youth sides.

News of his signing has floated around Spain since mid-June but only been picked up by Manchester United bloggers in the past few hours so expect it to appear in the English press on Thursday.

But none of that was true and it appeared to be a well executed wind-up, so well executed in fact that the player had a Wikipedia page confirming the move. Reports had even been planted in Spanish on social networks in Spain, hence the comment in the extract above.

101 Great Goals weren't the only ones to fall for it, ESPN seems to have a knack of being taken in by absolutely everything. From fake Korean journalists and quotes about Kagawa to fabricated Eden Hazard news and they weren't going to let down here.

But the whole story has since been confirmed as fake by Steve Bartram who works for the club's media department, he said "Despite press reports (and the Twitter grapevine), I'm assured by folk at Carrington that there is no Rodrigo Alvarez on #MUFC's books. That's from conversations with goalkeeping coaches and secretarial staff, by the way. This has been a productive week for Twitter fraudsters."

There is a young Spanish player with a similar name, perhaps by coincidence or even through design, but Manchester United have no young goalkeeper called Rodrigo Alavrez.

BACK TO TRAINING

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

TODAYS JOKE



I ran into a guy outside the Old Bailey today. He had taken Ryanair to court over his missing luggage ........................................................... and he's just found out that he's lost his case.

I'll get me boarding pass !

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Villas-Boas Named New Tottenham Manager

Villas-Boas has been tasked with returning Spurs to the Champions League. They missed out last season despite finishing fourth because Chelsea won the competition.

The Portuguese had an unhappy spell at Chelsea. He was sacked after only eight months in charge, with the European Champions in sixth place in the Premier League. Villas-Boas will be eager to prove that he can be successful in England, after winning the league and the Europa League with Portuguese giants Porto.

Tottenham chairman Daniel Levy will back his new man in the transfer market. Icelandic midfielder Gylfi Sigurdsson is set to join, and Ajax captain Jan Vertonghen is also close to finalising a move.

"For me, this is one of the most exciting coaching positions in the Premier League," said Villas-Boas.

"This is a squad any coach would love to work with. Together I believe we can bring success in the seasons ahead."

50 Shades of Manchester

"As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me it was benefit day and I knew my vel...our tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight." "It was Dwayne's birthday. I was preparing his special tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle. I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time." "Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. This would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant. I thought of this as he lay on top of me making love. His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange. As I rubbed his whiter than white back I imagined every mole I felt was spelling out Braille for I love you" "As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind the Iceland. He had tied up his Staffy to block the ally way so we wouldn't be disturbed. There was a tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same." "My mum had told me to leave Dwayne many times due to the violence but I knew he loved me as he always took his rings off before he hit me. Tonight though he was in a foul mood, I had ****** his tea up after failing to de-frost his prawn ring I had nicked from farm foods. He picked up the power lead from my kids mega drive and whipped it across my doughy ****. It stung but I liked it. I shouted again again so he carried on. I thought my shell suit would rip into a million pieces. As I looked over my shoulder I saw his Weetabix toothed smile. He even had a semi on which rare as the crack normally played havoc with his erections.

Superstars' charity ride

Wayne Rooney was a no-show, but fans who waited three hours to see some soccer royalty Sunday morning were amply rewarded with a few minutes -- photos and autographs, too -- with some of the English Premier League's biggest stars.

Those hoping for a glimpse of Didier Drogba, Ashley Cole, Salomon Kalou, Shaun Wright-Phillips and Zat Knight cruising L.A.'s freeways weren't so fortunate.


Wright-Phillips' annual charity motorcycle ride to benefit two causes aiding children in Africa, India and Central America went off, with a few hitches, but the expected journey -- from EagleRider Motorcycle Rentals down the San Diego Freeway to Seal Beach, then over to Pacific Coast Highway for an oceanside trek through Orange County -- was scrapped for a little footy in a Palos Verdes Peninsula park.


Contractual obligations prevented the players from riding two-wheelers -- they were all on Honda trikes or Can-Ams, both with three wheels -- and only Wright-Phillips and Bolton defender Knight were actually steering. Drogba, Kalou and Cole sat on the backs of their rides.

There are only reports about what happened -- virtually nobody was on hand to see $100 million of talent playing pickup soccer -- but the word is they kicked around with a few kids and local coach Lloyd Kinnear, who also took part in the ride.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

THE REIGN OF SPAIN

Spain's UEFA EURO 2012 final defeat of Italy means Fernando Torres and Juan Mata have joined a select group of players to have won the European Champion Clubs' Cup and UEFA European Championship in the same season.

The Spanish pair both featured in Chelsea FC's UEFA Champions League final victory against FC Bayern München in May and followed that up by collecting another winners' medal in Kyiv tonight. As in Munich, Torres came on as a second-half substitute in the final, but still had time to become the first player to score in two EURO finals as he struck the third in a 4-0 win.

Mata came on in 87th minute and scored the fourth a minute later – the perfect way to mark his only participation in the tournament. The pair become the second and third Spaniards to achieve the feat, Luis Suárez Miramontes having lifted the UEFA European Championship in 1964 shortly after helping FC Internazionale Milano to overcome Real Madrid CF in the European Cup final.

Twenty-four years later, the Netherlands triumphed at EURO '88, Hans van Breukelen, Ronald Koeman, Barry van Aerle and Gerald Vanenburg all in their victorious side in the final against the USSR in Munich. The triumph marked a double celebration for the quartet, who were fresh from helping PSV Eindhoven to European Cup glory against SL Benfica.

Wim Kieft was a European Cup winner with PSV and an unused substitute in the Netherlands' EURO triumph, while Nicolas Anelka went through the same experience with France in 2000 after appearing in Real Madrid CF's UEFA Champions League final triumph. Anelka's Madrid team-mate Christian Karembeu holds the unique position of being an unused substitute in European Cup and UEFA European Championship final triumphs in the same year.

Rooney, Drogba in L.A. to ride motorcycles

Both will be in Southern California today for the fifth annual ride to raise money and awareness for Arms Around the Child, a program that aids African and Indian orphans affected by HIV/AIDS, and Education for the Children, which works to improve educational opportunities in Central America.

Rooney, Manchester United's star forward, and Drogba, the Ivory Coast superstar who just signed with China's Shanghai Shenhua after eight years at Chelsea, are among six players from the English Premier League who will climb aboard motorcycles for a four-hour ride around town.

Queens Park Rangers winger Shaun Wright-Phillips, a former English national-teamer, is the man behind the ride, which will begin at 11 a.m. at motorcycle rental company EagleRide's headquarters in Hawthorne.

The route is not being publicized -- organizers don't want to disrupt L.A.'s notoriously complicated traffic flow -- but fans can gather from 9 to 11 a.m. at EagleRide, which is located at 11860 S. La Cienega Blvd., to greet the players and get autographs.

Also riding are Chelsea stars Ashley Cole and Salomon Kalou and Bolton defender Zat Knight. They will stop for lunch during their ride -- no particular spot has been determined -- and return to EagleRide at 3 p.m.