Thursday, May 15, 2014

GAME OF THRONES .......................... NOT

Court refuses trial by combat.

A court has rejected a 60-year-old man's attempt to invoke the ancient right to trial by combat, rather than pay a £25 fine for a minor motoring offence.


Leon Humphreys remained adamant yesterday that his right to fight a champion nominated by the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA) was still valid under European human rights legislation. He said it would have been a "reasonable" way to settle the matter.

HOW TIMES HAVE CHANGED

Magistrates sitting at Bury St Edmunds on Friday had disagreed and instead of accepting his offer to take on a clerk from Swansea with "samurai swords, Ghurka knives or heavy hammers", fined him £200 with £100 costs.

Humphreys, an unemployed mechanic, was taken to court after refusing to pay the original £25 fixed penalty for failing to notify the DVLA that his Suzuki motorcycle was off the road.

After entering a not guilty plea, he threw down his unconventional challenge. Humphreys, from Bury St Edmunds, said: "I was willing to fight a champion put up by the DVLA, but it would have been a fight to the death."

Man United U21 1-2 Chelsea U21

Lewis Baker bags winner to hand Dermot Drummy's side Premier League title.

The midfield master seized his opportunity in the 79th minute, capitalising on loose United defensive play to cut across the edge of the area and curl an immaculate shot past Ben Amos.



It was the third of three wonderful goals in a final that lived up to pre-match expectations and left a 13,000-strong crowd richly entertained.

United, the defending champions, had taken an early lead when Tom Lawrence, who bore more than a slight resemblance to Ryan Giggs as he tore down the wing in his No 11 shirt, bent in a well-taken goal.

Giggs, watching on in the stands after a busy day in which he had met prospective new manager Louis van Gaal in Holland, would have been impressed by the young winger's composure when James Wilson teed him up following Saidy Janko's low cross.

Chelsea equalised 10 minutes later when Belgian whizzkid Charly Musonda drove at the United defence, left three red-shirted defenders trailing and fired a low shot into the bottom corner.

The visitors were the superior team after that, showing the greater threat going forward and looking resolute at the back on the occasions when United troubled them.

The win caps a double for the London club's Academy after they beat Fulham to claim the FA Youth Cup last week.

Monday, May 5, 2014

FA Youth Cup final: Chelsea beat Fulham 7-6 on aggregate

Chelsea staged a dramatic fightback to win the FA Youth Cup by beating Fulham 5-3 on the night and 7-6 on aggregate.



Moussa Dembele headed Fulham, 3-2 winners in the first leg, ahead but Chelsea hit back with Charlie Colkett's penalty and a Jordan Houghton strike.


That made it 4-4 on aggregate, but Fulham went two goals clear through Patrick Roberts and Solomon Sambou.

Isak Ssewankambo levelled on the night before Dom Solanke's late double gave Chelsea their fifth FA Youth Cup.

The Blues last won the trophy in 2012, beating Blackburn 4-1, before losing 4-2 to Norwich in last year's final.

CRYSTANBUL REVISITED


KARMA'S A BITCH



MAKE UP YER MIND YOU DIV

Friday, May 2, 2014

EENIE, MEENIE, MINEY, MOE .... WILL THE BBC LET HIM GO ?

Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson has said he is “horrified” that it sounded as though he used racist language while filming an episode and was “begging your forgiveness” for the fact it appeared that he did.

Responding to claims that he used the n-word while reciting a nursery rhyme, Clarkson told his Twitter followers he had made every effort to make sure he did not use the slur, but realised it might have sounded as though he had.

In a video posted on his Twitter account tonight, he said: “I was mortified by this, horrified. It is a word I loathe.

“Please be assured I did everything in my power to not use that word. And as I’m sitting here begging your forgiveness for the fact that obviously my efforts weren’t quite good enough.”

“When I viewed this footage, several weeks later, I realised that if you listen very carefully with the sound turned right up, it did appear I actually used the word I was trying to obscure,” he added of one of the first two takes.


The allegations were reported in today’s Daily Mirror, which claimed the footage was studied by “audio forensic experts” who told them the star “can be heard chanting Eeny, meeny, miny moe...’. He then mumbles ‘Catch a n***** by his toe’”.

His co-host, James May, also came to his defence on Twitter, saying: “Jeremy Clarkson is not a racist. He is a monumental bellend and many other things, but not a racist. I wouldn’t work with one.”

The claims come days after the motoring show’s producer apologized for broadcasting a “light-hearted” joke by Clarkson that sparked a complaint of racism.

An episode filmed in Burma and Thailand and shown in March featured a scene in which the presenters built a bridge over the River Kwai, and as an Asian man walked over it Clarkson said: “That is a proud moment, but there’s a slope on it.”

Somi Guha, an actress who complained to the BBC, said the use of the word “slope” was an example of “casual racism” and “gross misconduct”.

The BBC2 show’s executive producer Andy Wilman said: “When we used the word slope in the recent Top Gear Burma Special, it was a light-hearted wordplay joke referencing both the build quality of the bridge and the local Asian man who was crossing it.

Clarkson previously faced a storm of protest from mental health charities after he branded people who throw themselves under trains as “selfish” and was forced to apologize for telling BBC1’s The One Show that striking workers should be shot.