Friday, August 30, 2013

I DON'T USUALLY WATCH SAFETY VIDEOS ....... BUT ....

Pirate Browser a Hit with Torrent Sites

The largest BitTorrent tracker in the world, The Pirate Bay, is now celebrating a massive 100,000 downloads of its own censorship dodging Pirate Browser in just a couple days. The new browser, containing Firefox portable, foxyproxy, and Tor, was developed by TPB team to get around government blockades placed on torrent services and other file-sharing sites.

It’s been a while that a range of European countries, including the United Kingdom, Belgium, Italy, and Ireland, have imposed blocks on accessing TPB and other services. For example, in the UK, online filters will have to become default for all packages offered by Internet service providers. This is why the Pirate Browser has additional purposes beyond torrenting.


It should be noted that the browser by itself doesn’t guarantee anonymity. The Pirate Bay points out that if you really want to get that rare commodity, you can sign up with a trusted VPN in order to route your traffic through. However, even this way won’t secure you 100%.

In the meantime, the immediate success of the Pirate Browser will be a blow to such governments as the UK’s, where its deeply unpopular policy, traditionally dressed up as a moral crusade to protect kids, is actually being used to decide what is and what is not acceptable for grown adults to access on the Internet. The BitTorrent tracker itself has long been a target of entertainment industry backed politicians who are told that piracy is an enormous threat to the world economy. The Pirate Bay, its operators and owners have frequently been vocal about their opposition to such policies, because those are restrictive to online freedoms.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

ETO'O SIGNS

Chelsea Football Club is delighted to announce the signing of Samuel Eto'o from Anzhi Makhachkala.

The 32-year-old has signed a one-year contract and on finalising the transfer he said: 'I am very happy to be here but also anxious because I want to get playing as soon as possible. 'It wasn't a hard decision. I saw the qualities Chelsea have, and I was very happy with Jose Mourinho before, so when the opportunity came, I was very happy to take it.'


The 32-year-old Eto’o will reportedly be taking a £10m pay cut from his £17m per year salary with Anzhi to reunite with former manager Jose Mourinho at Chelsea. However, the Russian side are believed to have given him a £1m lump sum pay-off to get him off their wage bill.

Eto’o won the treble under Mourinho at Internazionale in 2010, and has spoken of his desire to play under Mourinho during the summer. “There is only one Jose Mourinho,” Eto’o had said. “I have played under a lot of great coaches but there is no other character in the game like Jose.”



Jose Mourinho launches bizarre ‘Jose and the Special Ones’ cartoon

Jose Mourinho might be one of the most respected and feared football managers in the world, but he has shown his lighter side this week after launching his own children’s cartoon.

‘Jose Mourinho and the Special Ones’ is set to hit screens in Portugal in the coming days, with the Chelsea manager giving the green light to the program.

The show, put together by Sport Stars Media, revolves around a youngster who gets spotted by Mourinho playing in a local match, before the Portuguese tactician decided to help transform him into a global superstar.

The random plot and Pok√©mon style graphics makes for interesting viewing, but Mourinho says says the series is designed to ‘combine education and entertainment’.

 

‘I believe the series Mourinho and the Special Ones truly combine education and entertainment.

I am proud to be part of this project,’ he said at the launch. Mourinho and the Special Ones will also have a trading card game and a mobile app to follow. Madness.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013



If William Shatner married Stevie Nicks .........

Would her married name be Stevie Shatner Nicks ?




Gotta wonder

'THEY TRIED TO MAKE ME GO TO TOT'NUM .... BUT I SAID NO ... NO ... NO'

Chelsea Football Club is delighted to announce the signing of Willian.

The 25-year-old Brazilian was today (Wednesday) granted a work permit and has signed a five-year contract, having moved to England from Russian club Anzhi Makhachkala.

He will wear the number 22 shirt. On completing his move, Willian said: 'I'm very happy to be here, it's been a dream of mine to come and play here. 'Chelsea are one of the best clubs in the world, and now I'm going to play for one of the best managers in the world, so I'm very happy and looking forward to it.'


Born on 9 August 1988, in Ribeirao Pires, Willian Borges da Silva played at Sao Paulo before moving to Corinthians at the age of nine. Having made his way through the Brazilian club's academy, Willian rose to prominence in 2005 at the prestigious Copa Sao Paulo de Futebol Junior tournament, which he won with Corinthians before being promoted to the first team shortly after.

Having impressed potential suitors with his performances, Willian's stock continued to rise, culminating in a move to Ukrainian side Shakhtar Donetsk in August 2007.

Possessing trademark Brazilian skills, and with the guile and creativity to unlock tight defences, during his time at Shakhtar Willian won four league titles, three Ukrainian Cups, three Ukrainian Super Cups and, most memorably, the 2009 UEFA Cup, which was clinched with a 2-1 over Werder Bremen.

Chelsea supporters will be familiar with the player after he scored twice at Stamford Bridge when we beat Shakhtar 3-2 in the group stages of last season's Champions League. He also impressed during our 2-1 defeat in the away game. Willian spent six years at Shakhtar before completing a switch to Anzhi last January.

He made his debut for the club during a 3-1 Europa League win over Hannover and scored his first goal in a 3-0 victory at VN Novgorod. On the international stage, Willian has been involved with the Brazilian national side at Under-17, Under-18 and Under-20 level, and featured in the FIFA Under-20 World Cup in 2007, when Brazil were eliminated in the quarter-finals by Spain.

He made his Brazil senior debut on 10 November 2011 in a friendly match against Gabon and has two caps. He becomes the sixth current Chelsea player from that country.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

RIP DUTCH

Author of Get Shorty, Elmore Leonard, dies aged 87

American author Elmore Leonard, whose ear for gritty, realistic dialogue helped bring dozens of hard-bitten crooks, cops and cowboys to life in nearly 50 novels, died today aged 87.

“Elmore passed away this morning at 7.15am at home surrounded by his loving family,” according to an announcement on elmoreleonard.com.

Leonard, who first wrote westerns when he gave up his advertising agency job in the 1950s before moving on to crime and suspense books, suffered a stroke on July 29th.



Known by the nickname Dutch, Leonard had his commercial breakthrough in 1985 with the publication of Glitz.

His following books, including Get Shorty, Out of Sight, Killshot, Bandits and Freaky Deaky, came out every year-and-a-half or so and were best-sellers.

Hollywood had an affinity for Leonard’s books, and more than 25 of his works were made into movies or television shows, beginning with Paul Newman in the 1967 film Hombre. The western story 3:10 to Yuma and the novel The Big Bounce were each adapted for film twice.

The cable television series Justified, the tale of a US marshal in Kentucky that first aired in 2010, was based on Leonard’s work. He also served as an executive producer on Justified, which is based on his novels Pronto, Riding the Rap and a short story Fire in the Hole.

GET A SICKBAG READY

Monday, August 19, 2013

THINGS ARE GETTING SERIOUS AT ARSENAL NOW


MEANWHILE ...................... 


Wenger - "£10M for Cabaye."

Kinnear  - "Who ?"

Wenger - "Sorry ..... Kebab !"

Kinnear - "No"

Wenger - *slams pound coin on table*

Friday, August 16, 2013

TODAY'S JOKE


What do dwarves and midgets have in common ?


Very little !



I'll get me stool !

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Czech "Pastafarian" wins right to wear kitchen utensil

A man who claims his religion requires him to wear a sieve on his head has been granted permission to use a photo of himself wearing it – on his official ID card.

Lukas Novy, a follower of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, says the plastic kitchenware is a crucial part of his “Pastafarian” faith, and he must wear it at all times to respect his deity; a monster made of spaghetti and meatballs.


Czech officials ruled that rejecting his request would be a breach of the country’s religious equality laws, and have subsequently turned the other cheek as the 28 year old, from Brno, updated his ID card with the controversial image.

The Church of the Spaghetti Monster first emerged in the USA in 2005 as a mockery of organised religion. Now the thousands of online followers insist that “Pastafarianism” is a genuine religion, and refer to their almighty as “His Noodliness”.

Followers claim that that universe was created by the ball of noodles after “drinking heavily”.

In a statement from Brno City Hall, spokesman Pavel Zara explained: “The application complies with the laws of the Czech Republic where headgear for religious or medical reasons is permitted if it does not hide the face.”

Fellow “Pastafarian”, known as Soorej Jones Pothoor, said he feels discriminated against because of his unrecognised religion: “They (people of other beliefs) tell that the Lord Jesus is the one who’ll save you, not a ball of Spaghetti you moron.” And I say, “How dare you call my lord a ball of spaghetti, what proof do you have that Jesus will save you, a book? We don’t even need a proof, it’s all around us.”.

The Czech Republic is the second country to accept the cooking utensil as official religious head gear, following Austria when businessman Niko Alm won the right to wear a similar sieve on his driving licence photo. Many countries still refuse to accept the pasta strainer as such, and other people in counties such as Poland have failed.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

NASA Finds Message From God on Mars

NASA announced today that its Curiosity Rover has found an unambiguous message from God written on tablets in a Martian cave.

According to an official press release two giant stone slabs the size of small elephants were located deep inside a cavern abutting Aeolis Mons, a large mountain.

Upon one tablet is a copy of the Ten Commandments and the text of John 3:16 written in 12 languages - including English, Spanish, Chinese, Basque and Hebrew. On the other tablet is a simple message in English reading "I am real."

According to top scientists who have studied the discovery extensively, these findings may have definitively established Christianity as the one true religion.

"This is amazing," says Syms Covington, an Australian researcher working for NASA's Mars Exploration Program. "We went into the cave looking for water, and we found proof of God's existence instead.

"I mean how else did those tablets get there? I can tell you one thing: there's not a single atheist inside NASA's control room now. What we saw was jaw-dropping."

Genesis 1:1

NASA's Curiosity rover arrived on Mars in August of last year with a mission to explore the Martian climate and geology for signs for habitability.

Thus far the mission has been a success, with the discovery of an ancient seabed and chemicals needed for life suggesting that Mars was once suitable for life.

However the tablets, both of which are signed "Peace and Love - Yahweh," represent the rover's most significant find to date, and is perhaps the most important scientific event in history.

"When people find out about this, they will demand change in our society," explains a political scientist at Georgetown University. "Democracy will have to give way to theocracy. We're gonna have to build more churches and reintroduce prayer into schools. Abortion is defiantly going to be illegal within a few months."

Despite its potential significance, Covington fears that the Earth-shattering discovery may not make the impact it should.

"Unfortunately, the mainstream media is so anti-Christian, they might not even pick up this story," he explains. "But God is real. We have proof. And everyone deserves to hear the truth."