Tuesday, October 30, 2012

TODAY'S JOKE


I was listening the 6 Music on the radio earlier on, and Eric Clapton was talking about Jimmy Saville ........ he reckoned that Saville's career really took off in 1967 when, backstage at an episode of Top of the Pops ...... Saville introduced Cream to The Small Faces.


I'll get me 12 inch single !

HANDS UP .... WHO'S BEEN STEALING MY MATERIAL ?

BANNED ON THE RUN

It's a foul ......... by Johnny Evans on Fernando Torres



Unless you're the manager of Manchester United or a United player.

It took an own goal, a wrongful dismissal and an offside goal for Manchester United to beat Chelsea ....... those are the facts.

IN CASE OF EMERGENCY

Crisco Candle for emergency situations. Simply put a piece of string in a tub of shortening, you can use a chop stick, tie a knot in the bottom and push it down, and it will burn for up to 45 days ................ who knew ?


Monday, October 29, 2012

THERE MAY BE TROUBLE AHEAD

Federal forecasters have warned that a hybrid weather system they have dubbed "Frankenstorm," nature's perfect monstrous "trick or treat" for the Halloween season, is threatening the US East Coast after passing through the Caribbean, and leaving 21 dead.

Meteorologists say that high wind, heavy rain, extreme tides and snow in higher grounds may hit beginning from early Sunday and peak with the landing of Hurricane Sandy on Tuesday. The super-storm may persist past Halloween on Wednesday. meteorologists say.


Meteorologists said in an alert on Thursday that the storm may merge with a cold front and transform into a devastating hybrid system next week, just before Halloween. CNN describes merging of the storm with a strong cold front from the west that transforms it into a super-storm as the worst case scenario projection for it.


About 50 million Americans are in the direct path of the storm, experts say. There is a consensus among experts that the storm will make a direct hit on Monday or Tuesday in the region between Virginia and New England.

6,000 flights have been cancelled so far in the lead up to this storm.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

£65,000 ALL IN

A CONVERTED PUBLIC LOO IN LAMBETH


FROM THIS .........................................

................................................. TO THIS
Click here to see more - > http://www.telegraph.co.uk/property/9462068/From-public-loo-to-private-home-in-pictures.html?frame=2303854

TWO KILLER TV SHOWS FOR 2013

HANNIBAL

NBC’s new take on serial killer Hannibal Lecter ( Mads Mikkelsen) is shaping up to be quite an interesting (and series-TV-friendly) departure from films like Silence of the Lambs.

Bryan Fuller (Pushing Daises, Heroes) is taking five pages of backstory about the infamous cannibal psychiatrist from Thomas Harris’ book Red Dragon and using it as the basis for the first couple seasons of his planned drama.

Hannibal, which has received a 13-episode series order, features Lecter solving crimes with empathic FBI profiler Will Graham (Hugh Dancy). For the first time, viewers will spend quality time with Lecter while he’s at large and before the world knows his secrets, working side by side with a similarly brilliant man who is destined to catch him.


MIKKELSEN                                                                          DANCY 

So Hannibal almost plays like a crime procedural featuring two very smart investigators — but one of them is a serial killer. It’s also a highly unusual plan in broadcast series TV to start out a drama with one format, while planning from the very beginning to dramatically shake up the story once Hannibal is outed.

“It really is a love story, for lack of a better description, between these two characters,” Fuller says. “As Hannibal has said [to Graham] in a couple of the movies, ‘You’re a lot more like me than you realize.’ We’ll get to the bottom of exactly what that means over the course of the first two seasons. But we’re taking our sweet precious time.”

THE FOLLOWING

The Following is an upcoming American television drama that will air on Fox during the 2012–13 television season. The creator and executive producer of the series is Kevin Williamson. It is being produced by Outerbanks Entertainment and Warner Bros. Television. The Following is scheduled to premiere on Monday, January 21, 2013 on Fox.


Wednesday, October 24, 2012

TODAY'S JOKE



Wish people would shut up about Jimmy Savile.

He was great when I went on Jim'll Fix It when I was a kid.

He fixed it for me to milk a cow .................. Blindfolded.

I'll get me badge !

Burger chain promotes two different five-patty burgers

A burger chain in Japan is marketing two new massive sized burgers, one beef and one fried shrimp. Both meals consist of five patties each.

The sandwiches are being promoted in honor of the burger chain Lotteria's 40th anniversary, and the burgers will cost 500 yen (approximately US$ 6.30).

You'll be very disappointed if you expect it to look anything like his though

Apparently, these burgers are everyday menu items, the difference is the price is a temporary one, a specially priced promotion to celebrate the chain's 40-year milestone. The beef burger, called the "Super Cheeseday" deal, was available yesterday, Oct. 23. The fried shrimp stacked sandwich, the "Super Fryday", will be specially priced on Oct. 26.

Here's what it really looks like ......... are you hungry ?



Normally the beef burger costs $11 to $17 and the shrimp burger, $7 to $10.

There seems to be a trend for multi-patty burgers in Japan. This past summer, fast food chain Burger King offered a five-patty Whopper as a temporary menu item to celebrate its fifth anniversary in the country.

Monday, October 22, 2012

"Did You Know That A Presidential Candidate Was Arrested Last Tuesday Night"

"A Presidential Candidate was arrested last night AT THE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE. And as if that's not insane enough, it's not even news?! Is that the kind of country you want to live in?"



You may have noticed that the Green party presidential candidate, Dr Jill Stein, was absent from the "town hall" presidential debate at Hofstra University the other night. That's because she was shackled to a chair in a nearby New York police facility, along with her running-mate, Green party vice-presidental nominee Cheri Honkala. Their crime: attempting to get to the debate so Stein could participate in it.

While Mitt Romney uttered the now-famous line that he was given "whole binders full of women" while seeking staff as newly-elected governor of Massachusetts in 2002, the real binders were handcuffs used to shackle these two women, who are mothers, activists and the Green party's presidential ticket for 2012. Dr Stein was interviewed the day after the debate, after their imprisonment (which ended, not surprisingly, not long after the debate ended).

 "We are on the ballot for 85% of voters. Americans deserve to know what their choices are. The police said they were only doing job. I said, 'This is about everyone's jobs, whether we can afford healthcare, whether students will be indentured.' There are critical issues left out of the debate.

 "Ninety million voters are predicted to stay home and vote with their feet that neither Barack Obama nor Mitt Romney represent them. That's twice as many voters than expected for either of them."



Even if Stein and Honkala hadn't been hauled off a public street and handcuffed to those chairs for eight hours, Stein's exclusion from the debate was certain. The debates are very closely controlled by the Commission on Presidential Debates (CPD), which excludes third-party candidates, among other things. George Farah is the founder and executive director of Open Debates, and author of No Debate: How the Republican and Democratic Parties Secretly Control the Presidential Debates.

READ MORE ABOUT AMERICAN DEMOCRACY IN ACTION HERE - http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/oct/18/jill-stein-arrest-green-party-presidential-debate

THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME THAT THIS HAS OCCURRED ......

Friday, October 19, 2012

Eton Style (Gangnam Style Parody)

Romney To Travel Back In Time To Kill Liberal Versions Of Himself

SHAQ


ROMNESIA

The word of the day is "Romnesia" after President Obama coined the term for his opponent Mitt Romney's tendency to forget his positions during a speech this afternoon. Well Romnesia, meet "Mittmento," the (unfortunately not real) movie about you.

Back on Oct. 9, political satire blog Citizen Schwartz made this parody movie poster for "MIttmento", making Romney the star of the Christopher Nolan classic. How fitting?


The Obama campaign is running on women's issues for a third day in a row, but this has been its most successful day yet. Attempting to encapsulate what it claims to be Mitt Romney's shifting positions on a number of issues, the president's team has hit on a catchy phrase: "Romnesia".

Obama unveiled the new noun during a speech to students at George Mason University in Fairfax, Virginia, claiming that Romney had forgotten earlier positions in which he had opposed equal pay for women and easily-available contraception and had supported outlawing abortion.

The potency of the phrase was evident in the response of the audience, which laughed and cheered on first hearing on it and as Obama riffed on it in the remainder of his speech.

It quickly became clear "Romnesia" was not just a throwaway line, as the Obama campaign followed up within minutes. Obama's campaign manager, Jim Messina, tweeted that Obama "diagnoses Romney's failure to recall his extreme stances on women's issues".

The phrase instantly stuck on the social networks too. Within a couple of hours of Obama using it, #Romnesia was the third-most discussed Twitter term in the US.


Obama's campaign was offered an opening to attack Romney over women during Tuesday's debate, when the former Massachusetts governor made his odd remark about having looked through "binders full of women" when he wanted to achieve some gender balance in his cabinet. That phrase made Romney sound out of touch with contemporary society and the changes that have been taking place in the workplace and in attitudes towards women's rights.

In Virginia, Obama pressed home the message. Romney said he was for equal pay but refused to sign a bill that protects equal pay for equal work. Romney had said he was in favour of access to contraception but supported legislation that would allow employers to deny it. Romney had said he would protect women's right to abortion but had said earlier this year he would sign a law outlawing the right to choose in all cases.


Romney is paying the price for having to move to the right during the Republican primaries and caucuses earlier this year, in order to win over over conservatives for whom abortion remains a top issue. Up against opponents such as Rick Santorum, who has an unyielding position on abortion, Romney was in trouble, having adopted a liberal position on the issue while fighting to become governor of liberal-leaning Massachusetts. In the primaries and caucuses, Romney shifted to the right, saying in one debate that he would be delighted to support legislation outlawing all abortion.

The Obama campaign is running hard on the issue because women could hold the key to the election. Democratic candidates normally hold a lead over their Republican rivals among women and Obama has long enjoyed a lead of eight to nine points over Romney among likely women voters, compensating for Romney's lead among white males. But some polls have shown that lead eroding and the Democrats need those wavering women voters back.

'WOULD YOU CURE ME FOR A LANGER BAR ?'


Thursday, October 18, 2012

The rise of passive-aggressive wi-fi names

Some wireless internet users have been setting their network names to send snide messages to their neighbours ............... Why ?

Predominantly, it's about noise. And sex. Well, noisy sex. That, and "stealing" broadband.

Wireless internet users are typically asked to assign names to their networks when installing new routers. These names can be seen by anybody within range who searches for networks.

Many stick to mundane options like "Home" or "Wireless01". The more adventurous may even use their surname or address.

But this is an era of bite-sized self-expression. It's possible to see names like "Drop it like it's hotspot", "Terror network", and "Virus Detected Shutting Down". Or witticisms like "Pretty fly for a Wi-Fi" and "Wi Believe I Can Fi".

Users of social network Reddit have gathered together examples that are less about the humour and more about sending a message to a neighbour.

Anybody who has house- or flat-shared has dealt with Post-it notes left on fridges. "Please throw away the box after eating my food" or "The dishwasher is the white thing with buttons" are typical.

People are apparently doing the same with network names.

"Stop Stealing My Paper!" begins one exchange, to which the reply taunts: "FYI, I Don't Read It I Just Throw It Away!"

"You're music is annoying!" is followed by "Your grammar is more annoying!"

"Meat is Murder" alongside "Meat is delicious!!!" is another antagonistic exchange uploaded to image-hosting site Flickr.

Pet misbehaviour is addressed, with examples like "Shut The Barking Dog Up No 7". Another expletive-laden name demands neighbours stop letting the cat use their lawn as a toilet.

Noisy neighbours seem to be the principal source of complaint. Examples provided by OpenSignalMaps, a company maintaining a wide database of wi-fi network names, include:

"Stop slamming the door!!!" "Stop wearing heels!" "Shut up" "Stop running" and "Stop shouting!"

Unprotected wireless networks themselves, or the "theft" of them, spark numerous network name complaints.

Most wireless networks now come with secure settings as default. But "Go Away Don't Steal My Broadband" and "Stop Mooching Our Internet" suggest that "stealing" of unsecured broadband still irritates some users.

One invokes a kind of technological 11th commandment: "Covet not thy neighbour's wi-fi". Another merely opts for: "Thou shalt not steal!"

Network name complaints are the "digital equivalent" of the classic fridge note, says technology expert Tom Chatfield.

NATIONAL ARSCH DAY

NATIONAL ASS DAY


Wednesday, October 17, 2012

'CLOSER ............'


Sweet shop goes pure Cork with ‘Langer bar’

The owners of an old-style sweet shop have upped the bar for loyalty to their home county of Cork — by naming their latest bar after one of its best known words: "langer".

 Frank Nixon and Kate Walsh, owners of the Half-Door Sweet Company on Maylor St in Cork City, put the distinctive product on sale last Saturday and have been blown away by the popularity it has attracted already.


 "We called the bar the Langer for two reasons," said Mr Nixon. "The shop itself is a Cork family-owned company, we are both from Cork. There is nothing out there for that and we wanted to create something for Cork people because Cork people are very proud of their county. We thought ‘Langer bar’: It’s a bit of craic, a bit of fun."

 The wrapper is even emblazoned with the slogan "pure Cork boy". Last May,

Mr Nixon’s triplet nephews became the first to sample the bar. After they approved it went on sale. "They are flying off the shelves," said Mr Nixon. "Everyone is loving the name.

We had a guy who came in tonight who had got an email from a friend of his in Holland asking him to go out and buy two bars and send them over."

 

 The taste, described as richer than many premium chocolate bars, has attracted a loyal following. "People are coming back for the taste.

We have had one or two customers who have come in two or three times a week to buy it."

Monday, October 15, 2012

Philippines sign peace deal with MILF

The Philippines has signed a framework peace plan with the country's largest Muslim rebel group, the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF).

The deal follows lengthy negotiations aimed at ending a 40-year conflict that has cost an estimated 120,000 lives.

The agreement was reached in early October after talks in Malaysia. It provides for a new autonomous region in part of the south where Muslims are a majority in a mainly Catholic nation.

The framework deal was signed by the chief negotiators of the government and the rebels, and witnessed by President Benigno Aquino and MILF leader Murad Ebrahim at the presidential palace in Manila.

The two leaders met and exchanged gifts ahead of the signing.



Murad Ebrahim, said to be in his 60s, is the first MILF leader to visit the palace.

Say 'Hebbo' to Tarvuism !

Since the dawn of time, mankind has searched for the meaning of life and existence. Who are we? Why are we here? Where are we going? But thanks to Tarvu - Lord and Master of the Universes - mankind can find the answers to all of life's questions.

 Tarvu - creator of Universe A and Universe B (we live in Universe B) - came to Earth over 3,000 years ago as a tiny baby boy. After landing in the oceans, and swimming with Oobu the holy octopus, Tarvu came ashore and lived amongst men and women so that he could teach them "to live". Soon his Word spread, and that Word became Tarvuism.

 

 Tarvuism is one of the oldest and largest religions in the world, with over 1 billion followers in over 150 countries - from afar as Iceland to Timonia - speaking as many languages. As Tarvu said "Every land is nice, and everyone who lives there is nice too". (Chronicles of Amzamiviram, Cpt 44). Tarvu's teachings - in the holy book, The Tarvunty - show man and woman the path to true righteousness. His Word points to a unifying vision of the purpose of existence (or 'mdfitty numnum') and lead, ultimately, to a Tarvunian paradise
.
 

 Why not take a look at some of our exciting web pages? Click on the Tarvupedia to read our online Tarvuist encyclopedia, learn all about Tarvu, chat to other Tarvuists in our Tarvuist forum, and find out how you too can become a Tarvuist.

 The Tarvunty

The Tarvunty consists of a great many books, some of which have yet to have been discovered.

B*g*nn'ngs - the creation of the two universes
Q*est'ons - why are we here? Why are not here? Why would we have been there? Questions on daily philopophy
N*rr*t'ves - Stories pertaining to honour, and humourous lyrics
D*l'mmas - Which river should a blind man cross if a deaf lady is on the other side, etc.
D*cis'ons - Should one say yes or no? When to say yes or no? Daily decision making
C'ntr*dict'ons - A treatise on life's contradictions
Pr*ff'ts - Stories of the lives of the great Tarvuist proffets
P*nty-h'ynu - Details regarding the practice of Penty-haynu. Includes diagrams
J*urn'ls - Tarvu's daily diary from the age of 16-20 - Discusses the onset of a very late puberty
P*ety - prayers
Cl*cks - Time-telling methods
N*rchun'ssaar - How to make Narchunassaar, and the best time to do so
T*rtun'ssaar - As above
V*rbun'saar - The way to dress, Tarvuist style
N*mb'rs - A collection of facts and figures relating to numbers. I.e 'there are 5 number 9's in the number 99999'
L*cky Nu*mb'rs - As above but all to do with the number 8 *nsw'rs - Answers to all questions left unanswered so far in the Tarvunty
M*re *nsw'rs - Basically Answers continued.
B*lls - Treatise on bell-making and ringing
P*r'doxes - Tarvuist paradoxes
Abl*t'ons - Pertaining to matters of the toilet
W*tn'sses - Holy Tarvuists who have witnessed great things, i.e Alvinni the Martyr
C*incid'nces - Tarvu bumped into himself on Ralfinty Island, when he least expected it etc.
C*me-*pp'nces - Those who have crossed Tarvu, and what happened to them
M*sings - Thoughts on life in general Irr'tat'ons - Things that have annoyed Tarvu (such as stomach cramp) F*llies - Little jokes
R*c'pes - Tarvuist meals - how to make them
P*n'caeum (the Book of Medicines) - Natural remedies F*shion - A replica of Virbunasaar, but written in capital letters
M*r'ls I - Tarvuist morals
M*r'ls II - As above Gh*sts - A personal reflection written by Amzamiviram on ghosts he has met
Fe*l'ngs - Tarvu discusses various feelings he has had in his life. The greatest proportion is devoted to shyness
W*rs I - Tales of terrible battles witnessed by Tarvu
W*rs II As above, contd.
Pr*p'rty - How to keep a good house. Tips on buying a house
F*'ls - Idiots Tarvu has met
M*st'kes - Errors committed by Tarvu (very short book) *n'mals - Early zoology
M*nst'rs - Amzamiviram muses on possible monsters that might have existed
Pl*ys - Three plays written jointly with Amzamiviram: 'He is the Light' 'And they Bowed Down' and 'Handmaiden in Love'
M*nn'rs - Tarvunian etiquette
H**v'ns - Details on the afterlife
R*fl*cti'ns - A collection of memoirs
Disagr*em'nts - A list of every time someone had disagreed with Tarvu and how he was proved right H*lid'ys - Writings on the various vacations and short breaks Tarvu took

A Treatise on Succesful Irrigation Systems

 YOU MUST READ THEM ALL

The official Internet website for the Tarvuist Faith -> http://www.tarvu.com/

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

BEING LIVERPOOL EXPOSED

In episode four of Being: Liverpool, Brendan Rodgers tells his players that three people will let the club down this season and that he has written their names down and placed them in sealed envelopes.



BUSTED


Friday, October 5, 2012

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE INDEPENDENT

Dear Sir (? Mr Blackhurst),

 On September 28th the front page of the Independent carried a picture of John Terry with the headline “Captain, Leader, Legend, Racist”. This was just not a slanderous attack on Chelsea’s captain, it was a deliberate and calculated insult to Chelsea Football Club and to hundreds of thousands of Chelsea supporters both in Britain and abroad.

We wish to bring the following points to your attention.

1. John Terry was acquitted by a court of law of a “racially aggravated” public order offence. He was then charged by the Football Association with using abusive language and also of using a word which referred to colour or race.

2. In its written verdict on the case, published on October 5th, the FA Regulatory Commission makes the following statement – Paragraph 3.4: “It is not the FA’s case that Mr. Terry is a racist. There is a large body of testimonial evidence, including statements from black footballers, to say that he is not.”

3. In its conclusions on the case the Commission states – Paragraph 9.5 (iv): “It is accepted by everyone involved in the criminal and disciplinary proceedings that Mr. Terry is not a racist.”

4. It is therefore quite wrong to accuse John Terry of racism, let alone brand him as a racist as your front page headline did, using red ink just in case anyone might miss it. This is not simply a matter of an opinion or a choice of words.

5. This is something you must have been well aware of before publishing your headline. After the Football Association announced the summary verdict – on the afternoon of September 27th, well before the Independent went to press – Lord Herman Ouseley was interviewed by Richard Bacon of the BBC about the case. Lord Ouseley, as you presumably know, was formerly chair of the Commission for Racial Equality and now heads Kick It Out, the official anti-racist campaign in football. During this BBC interview Lord Ouseley stated: “This isn’t about John Terry being a racist. And clearly no one should be accusing, and no one has accused, John Terry of that.”

6. We do not know what John Terry intends to do about your slanderous headline; that is obviously a matter for him and for his legal advisers. However, the banner about John Terry – “Captain. Leader. Legend” – is prominently displayed by supporters at Stamford Bridge, with the agreement of the Club. It is familiar nationally and internationally through television coverage. It has become a hallmark of the Club. To caricature this banner by adding the word “racist” as you did, and highlight it as well, can only be seen as a deliberate attempt to denigrate us and damage our reputation as well as John Terry.

7. Chelsea Football Club is proud of its reputation on and off the field, as are its supporters, including our reputation for opposing racism. It is probably the most multicultural professional football club in Britain, and possibly in Europe. Sixteen years ago Chelsea Football Club appointed the first black manager in the Premier League. It employs black people at every level – security staff, administrative staff, playing staff and management, including Technical Director. It also has supporters of every creed and colour, not just in Britain, but right round the world.

8. The Chelsea Supporters Group is one of several organisations set up to represent the interests of supporters, both to the Club and in general. We know these other groups share our resentment and disgust at this insult to the Club and its supporters. We now call on you to withdraw your allegation and to publish an apology, giving this apology similar prominence to your headline of September 28th – ie on the front page .

9. Copies of this letter are being sent to the Press Complaints Commission, the Football Association, Kick It Out, Chelsea Football Club, and to John Terry’s legal advisers. It will also be published on our website.

 Yours sincerely

CSG Committee [Chelsea Supporters Group]

................................................................................................................................................


.  Rod Liddle, Sunday Times:

 YET AGAIN we are forced to turn to Ashley Cole for the most succinct summary of the FA commissions report into the John Terry and Anton Ferdinand affair. Ashley is becoming a bit of an oracle, a fount of wisdom on this issue.

Having read the report, or having had it read to him slowly by somebody he employs for this purpose, Ashley, via the medium of Twitter, natch, commented: "Hahahahaaaaaa. Well done #FA. I lied did I? BUNCH OF TW***."

 We were initially told that as a consequence of what seems to me an extremely accurate summation, if somewhat robustly expressed, Coles England career may be in jeopardy. The tweet has since been removed, and I suppose this, plus a writhing statement of regret, should be taken to imply a form of contrition. I wish Ashley hadnt been contrite: the FA in effect called him a liar and impugned the conduct and reputation of both the club for which he plays and, of course, his friend and captain, John Terry.

It has all made me rather more favourably inclined towards Ashley and Chelsea than was hitherto the case. Come on you Blues, etc. Cole, remember, is the one person in all of this farrago who was definitely, unequivocally, racially abused which occurred when Rio Ferdinand was delighted to hear his England colleague described as a Magnum or a Solero or something, again on Twitter. A choc-ice, that was it. A lying choc-ice now. Not very nice, is it? Still, if youre looking for a stocking-filler for a football-mad relative or friend, you could do worse than order the full FA report, which we might call *****gate. You can replace those asterisks with whatever word you find most offensive: its an interactive thing.

 The report is inadvertently illuminating in parts, and always hilarious. I notice that one of the commission members charged with pontificating in this matter was Stuart Ripley. I quite like the idea of abolishing the appeal courts in this country and replacing them with panels composed of former Middlesbrough FC wingers and inside-forwards Wilf Mannion, Derrick Downing, David "Spike" Armstrong and the like. Joe Laidlaw, maybe, although I suppose hes better remembered for his time at Carlisle.

 The report begins with a fabulously detailed description of who said what to whom, all dealt with in the utmost seriousness, including Terry calling the QPR goalkeeper at the time, Paddy Kenny, a "cheeky c***" and puffing his cheeks out as if to suggest that Mr Kenny was overweight. Before this we had the rapid-fire exchange of pleasantries between Ferdinand and Terry: "How can you call me a c***, you shagged your teammates missus, youre the c***," said Anton, doing a passable imitation of Oscar Wilde.

The gestures are described in full after all, at 63 pages, the report is a lot longer than the Gettysburg Address including the one Terry made to indicate that Anton had shockingly bad breath. Does he? I suppose we may never know for sure. Parma Violets can help with that sort of thing, although Im not convinced you can still get them these days.

Later the report details the exchange in the dressing room after the game, which was held at Terrys request. This section concludes with the sentence: "Mr Terry then shook Mr Ferdinands hand and the latter left the dressing room." And in some parallel but very distant universe, one governed by a sense of perspective and rationality, that is where the whole business would have ended.

But we are not in that universe, sadly; we are in this one, and still only eight pages into the report. In an attempt to prove that Terry is a habitual liar about stuff that happens on a football pitch, his sending-off against Barcelona in last seasons European Cup semi-final is dredged up. At first Terry said he didnt think it was a foul; later he agreed that it looked bad and that maybe he had clattered the bloke. And thats it: Terry has form, so we cant believe him. As it happens, I thought it was a stupid, pointless foul but Terrys explanation for it seemed to me both genuine and believable. But then I have never played on the wing for Middlesbrough.

The fact that Terry was cleared in a court of law of racially abusing Anton Ferdinand is also dealt with in detail; the FA insists that its procedure is likely to be more just than that which pertained in the magistrates court because paradoxically, you might think, if you were sane the burden of proof required for a simple disciplinary affair is not so great.

The FA is then required to stick the boot into the magistrate, implying that he was a little credulous of the evidence presented to him by Cole and Terry. He used, the report admonishes, the word "possible" in rapid succession. And then the boot swings out at Cole for the "evolution" of his evidence and also at David Barnard, the Chelsea secretary. It is implied that Chelsea cobbled together some sort of cover-up by pooling their evidence and later changing their tune when the case came before the court and later the FA. I think if I were running Chelsea Id have a word with my lawyers. And in the end, what has been the consequence?

England have lost their captain, a white man who even the FA concede is not remotely a racist. And it may well have lost two other fine players, directly or indirectly as a consequence Cole and Rio Ferdinand, both of them black. Ah, but justice has been done, and seen to be done.

Sir Jimmy Savile Scarborough plaque defaced and removed

A memorial plaque at the former Scarborough home of Sir Jimmy Savile has been removed after it was defaced with graffiti.

The words "paedophile" and "rapist" were scrawled over the plaque at the entertainer's flat on the Esplanade. It follows allegations that Sir Jimmy sexually abused teenage girls. North Yorkshire Police, which is investigating, warned people against defacing such signage, saying these were "criminal acts".


 The gold-coloured plaque was installed by Scarborough Civic Society and a community group set up in Scarborough in memory of Sir Jimmy in September. It originally read "Sir Jimmy Savile 1926-2011. Entertainer and philanthropist lived here".

  'Unwanted attention'

 North Yorkshire Police said in a statement: "We would ask people that even if emotions are running high, not to engage in any criminal acts as they will be dealt with in the same way as any other criminal activity."

 Sharon Aldred, who owns a flat in the same block, said: "I can understand people's opinions but I see no need to deface something like that." Another resident, Richard Tolson, said: "With all the media coverage the interest has been drawn to the flats here and it is unwanted. "Until things settle down the plaque should come down. People are vulnerable here and want it down."

 Scarborough Borough Council confirmed security at the cemetery where the DJ was buried in November was being reviewed.

 Meanwhile a wooden statue of Sir Jimmy which stood outside Scotstoun Leisure Centre in Glasgow has been removed.


 A spokesman for Glasgow Life, which operates the centre, said: "Given the current controversy and the seriousness of the allegations, we thought it appropriate to move the statue at this time."

 An ITV documentary aired on Wednesday featured a number of women who claimed to have been abused by the star during the 1970s.

 The Metropolitan Police said it was investigating the claims.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

TODAY'S JOKE

I would like to share with you all an experience that I recently had regarding drinking and driving. As you would know, most of us have had brushes with the law on our way home from some sort of social occasion before. Well I, for one, have done something about it. The other night I was out for dinner and a few drinks with some friends. Having had a few too many drinks and knowing full well I was struggling, I did something I've never done before. I took a bus home.... I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I have never driven a bus before.