Friday, July 31, 2009

HANDY HINT no. 212

How to tell if you have piles ( Haemorrhoids aka Assteroids ) -

You'll need a chair with a reasonably soft seat. place the chair next to a window. do a headstand on the chair and place your bum up against the glass. why a window and not a mirror is something to do with refractive index. make sure the window is facing a police station or a little old lady that is sure to call a police station. the prison doctor will inform you if you have piles .

Thursday, July 30, 2009


I was a big fan of The Professionals ( '77 - '83 ) back in the day , it starred Lewis Collins , Martin Shaw and Gordon Jackson and was a gung-ho macho spy drama with a smattering of tongue in cheek humour thrown in for good luck .

But the fact is that time takes its tole and none of us look like we did back then ..... but seriously , does Martin Shaw think this wig fools anybody ???????

Hahahahahahahahahahaha !!!!!!!!!!!!

NO ONE SAW IT COMING .........................

Just about the best excuse ever and the biggest lie in the world ........When it comes to the property crash / recession I can think of two people off the top of my head who most certainly " saw it coming " and not only that but made sure they were not going to be in the firing line when it hit .
These two feckers were fast enough to take credit when there was a global upswing but the minute it looked like it might all collapse they both quit and left their two ministers for finance in charge to take the flak ...... and you just know that those two muppets knew what was coming too but were willing to step in front of that runaway train for a taste of power and claim that no one could have possibly known what was about to happen ......... did they think the price of houses was simply going to go up to a €1 million per house all across the British Isles with no consequences ?
And you can bet that George W would have skipped out too if he had been given the choice ...... all he can do now is keep his head down till it all blows over and then re-appear with that big stupid grin and pretend that he hadn't taken part in driving the world into the biggest recession since the early part of the 20th century .
Its not much of a prediction to forecast that Fianna Fail and The Labour Party ( UK ) will be voted out when they finally have no choice but to hold an election ......... bloody liars !