Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Jose Mourinho escapes with one-match Champions League ban

Real Madrid coach Jose Mourinho has escaped with a one-match Champions League ban and a fine after Uefa found him guilty of improper conduct relating to the recent dismissals of players Xabi Alonso and Sergio Ramos.

Mourinho has been banned from the touchline for two Uefa competition matches - the second of which is suspended for three years - with the club fined 120,000 euros after the two players seemed to deliberately incur second bookings, therefore wiping out previous cautions ahead of the Champions League knockout stage.

The Portuguese coach will consequently only miss the dead rubber against Auxerre, providing he does not breach Uefa rules within "a probationary period of three years".
While Mourinho has also been fined to the tune of 40,000 euros, the players involved have escaped with only financial penalties by Uefa's control and disciplinary body.

Alonso and Ramos - who both received second yellow cards for conspicuous time wasting - must pay 20,000 euros each. Goalkeeper Iker Casillas and his reserve Jerzy Dudek, who seemed to pass on messages, must pay 10,000 euros and 5,000 euros respectively.

The one-match bans automatically handed to Alonso and Ramos for the dismissals will stand.


The Coen Brothers remake TRUE GRIT

Following the murder of her father by hired hand Tom Chaney, 14-year-old farm girl Mattie Ross sets out to capture the killer. To aid her, she hires the toughest U.S. marshal she can find, a man with "true grit," Reuben J. "Rooster" Cogburn. Mattie insists on accompanying Cogburn, whose drinking, sloth, and generally reprobate character do not augment her faith in him. Against his wishes, she joins him in his trek into the Indian Nations in search of Chaney. They are joined by Texas Ranger LaBoeuf, who wants Chaney for his own purposes. The unlikely trio find danger and surprises on the journey, and each has his or her "grit" tested.

Zhang Yimou remakes The Coen Brothers BLOOD SIMPLE


It looks amazing. The Coen brothers 1984 debut feature Blood Simple is a hard movie to show up. Set in a gritty rural Texan town, it's as pulse-quickening and shocking as any thriller about cowboys and contract killers. It gets surprisingly violent for a movie - even an indie - from 1984. But sweet, sweet violence: thy name is the Coen brothers.

Zhang Yimou (Hero, House of Flying Dagger) updated the Coens' neo-country-noir classic with an excellent twist: transplant it from the backwoods of Texas to a tiny Mandarin noodle shop, and A Woman, A Gun, and a Noodle Shop is born. It looks beautiful and slick - a departure from Blood Simple which was beautiful (in its own bloody way) but gave you the impression that there was sand under your nails the entire film.

Finally. Mainstream moviegoers will finally get what they want: A Coen brothers' movie about marital infidelity set in a Chinese noodle shop. Audiences win!


Two gay men decide to have a baby...............

They mix their sperm together and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated with it.

When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. A dozen babies are in the ward, eleven of whom are crying and screaming.

Over in the corner, one baby is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the delight of the gay fathers, she points out the happy child as theirs.

"Isn't it wonderful?" one gay says to the other.

"All these unhappy babies .... and yet our baby is so happy. This just proves the superiority of gay love!"

The nurse says, "Oh sure, he's happy now, but just watch what happens when I pull the thermometer out of his arse!"

I'll get me coat


Seasons Of My Soul

A truly stunning debut album, Seasons Of My Soul showcases the exceptional talent of Sarah Joyce, aka Rumer, whose fine voice and songwriting ability blends together the beauty and melancholy of Karen Carpenter and the luscious, soulful seductiveness of Sade.

Rumer's effortless, mature, Karen Carpenter-like vocal is evidenced right from the albums' opening track, 'Am I Forgiven', where her beautiful singing sounds clear over a well-produced easy listening pop band backing. Perfectly complimented by smooth strings, occasional bell-like flourishes from glockenspiel and vibraphone and a gentle flugelhorn solo, 'Am I Forgiven' immediately announces Seasons Of My Soul as a divine offering.

With laid back 6/8 feel, brushed drums and a smooth bed of piano and Rhodes accompaniment, 'Come To Me High' evidences the mellow seductiveness of Sade with Rumer's alluring and graceful vocals swooping over layers of self-provided backing vocals and subtle, sensitive solo viola. Former single 'Slow' starts with Rumer's beautiful vocals over a sparse and sensitive accompaniment of piano, bass and harp before the drums kick in and the track lilts forward in a mellow, easy-on-the-ears blend. The same wistful and questioning, romantic lyrics are evidenced, like much of Seasons Of My Soul, in the string drenched 'Take Me As I Am'.

Rumer's October-released single, 'Aretha', is a soulful bluesy number taking inspiration from Aretha Franklin; its' sensitive and heartfelt instrumentation bracketing a brief, more driven shuffle blues interception, is again perfectly complimentary to Rumer's meaningful vocals. Then, from the dreamy piano and gentle double bass of the pleasant, uplifting number, 'Thankful', through the album's sparsely accompanied highlight, 'Healer', to its' wonderful Carpenters-esque conclusion, 'Goodbye Girl', complete with gentle harmonica suggestions and smooth string accompaniment; Seasons Of My Soul offers little in the way of variety, but instead a pure and effortless, inoffensive and consistently high standard blend. An outstanding debut.

Woman Strips to Bikini to Mock New TSA Guidelines

Say what you will about the TSA's new, intrusive guidelines for air travel, but they are encouraging at least one enterprising young woman to strip down and offer videos of her partially clothed adventure to the Internet.

The latest semi-clad air traveler to pull this stunt is Corinne Theile, a 31-year-old womn from Los Angeles who works in (surprise, surprise) marketing.

According to Theile, she was tired of having the TSA ask her to remove items of her clothing, so she decided to make that whole process easier by traveling this Thanksgiving holiday in just a trench coat and a bikini.


In "Wonder Woman XXX", the Iraqi government has once again penetrated US soil, sending their top spy to infiltrate America's most lucrative business, the porn industry. Through the help of a sultry US informant, the Iraqi spy gains access to California's biggest porn production sets in order to steal their secrets. There is only one person who can stop the Iraqi insurgence by making a man crumble to his knees and beg for mercy—Wonder Woman. Will the Iraqi spy succeed in his mission to rip off America's beloved porn, or will he succumb to the wealth and riches of the most sought after body on the planet? Will Wonder Woman save the day, or are her powers futile against the terrorist attacks? Only watching "Wonder Woman XXX" will reveal the answers.

DID YOU KNOW ................

Leslie Nielsen had a Screen Test for BEN-HUR ?

........ and here it is, with Cesare Denova in the part of Judah Ben-Hur and Nielsen playing the part of Masala .......... Nielsen's part eventually went to Stephen Boyd with Charlton Heston getting the role of Ben-Hur.


José Mourinho always said that his side would lose one day but he did not expect to lose like this – not after enjoying the greatest start of any coach in Real Madrid's history. His team, so impermeable before, were punctured. Five times. They were sunk. A 5-0 victory for Barcelona was described by the Madrid coach as a "historically bad result" for his club – it was the worst defeat he has suffered in his career.

And Real's night ended in complete humiliation as Ronaldo sparked a massive brawl by shoving Barca boss Pep Guardiola and Sergio Ramos was sent off in injury time for a shocking tackle on Argentina star Messi.

While goals by Xavi, Pedro, David Villa — who got two — and sub Jeffren sent the Nou Camp fans into raptures, the Special One slumped into the dark and gloomy shadows of his dugout. No tricks, no provocation, no solutions, no inspiration.

No wonder. It was the first time Mourinho had lost a match by more than three goals.

Guardiola's Barcelona won their fifth straight clash with Madrid over the last two and a half years, and the Catalans have spanked their biggest rivals 16-2 on aggregate during the remarkable run of domination which Mourinho was hired to end.

Guardiola said: "This wasn't a definitive result when it comes to who will win the league but we did define for the entire world how it is we like to play football.

The reason I'm posting this video -- >
is because of the commentator, Ray Hudson ... He’s the former coach now turned announcer for US-based GolTV. And he’s a legend. Or the worst thing ever to be found on television. There are two sides of the fence when it comes to Ray, as his claim to fame is his very liberal use of the English language, similes that are equally confusing and hilarious, and the happiness which happens in his pants whenever anything even remotely special happens on a football pitch.

1. “The immovable object meets the irresistible force.” 
2. On Cristiano Ronaldo’s favorite move(s) – “Blades flashing like a combine harvester.”
3. On Lionel Messi – “Like a squirrel on a telegraph wire.”
4. On Lionel – “He could follow you into a revolving door and he’d still come out first.”
5. On Xavi – “Old chameleon eyes with that kaleidoscope vision.”
6. On the first half skirmish – “Then Valdes comes out and spits the verbals like Mussolini at the balcony”
7. “David Villa absolutely makes Sergio Ramos his little lollipop”
8. “Real Madrid’s defense stretched out like spandex on Miami beach”
9. On Barca’s fourth – “The precise pass that opens up the white shirts like a fresh fish.”
10. the third Barcelona goal – “this is a goal of orgiastic proportions”

Monday, November 29, 2010


ALCOHOLICS : Don't worry where the next drink is coming from. Go to the pub, where a large selection is available at retail prices.

The Simpsons

The Simpsons takes second shot at Fox News in as many weeks.


THE Premier League has seen its biggest weekend of epic, 110 percent giving since it was scraped off a wart on Rupert Murdoch's back.

Every team managed to score at least one empty, windswept cliché, with Manchester United's Dimitar Berbatov racking up five pages of tabloid alliteration.

He becomes the first top flight striker to grab such a haul of overly-effusive folderol since Alan Shearer did something that everyone has forgotten about in 1999.

Footballologist Boggeen O'Toole said: "The sheer volume of commentators saying it's the greatest league in the world shows that it's the greatest league in the world for hearing how it's the greatest league in the world.

Boggeen, who played for The Inniscara Eagles during the their golden era in the early 70's went on to say "While the Spanish press may have more technically-gifted sports journalism you cannot beat the English league's coverage for sheer excitement. Assuming you're also fond of devastatingly poor sentence construction."

Boggeen will always be fondly remembered as the player who got pulled off by his manager at half-time in the semi final of The West Cork Local and District Cup against Blarney United, his uncle Bob was manager of the team at the time as well as being his agent, in fact, Bob handled all the players during his tenure at the club. Blarney United won 7 nil on the day.

Boggeen retired from the professional game in 1997 at the age of 53 [the second youngest player on the '97 team] to spend more time with his pals down the pub. He still holds the scoring record for The Inniscara Eagles of 32 goals in 612 appearances, a record he says " Gary Neville would be proud of ".

Meanwhile more than 90% of managers described various things as 'epic', while the alleged magnificence of their players was up 262% from this time last year.

Arsene Wenger topped the league by describing Arsenal's 4-2 win over Aston Villa as 'the encapsulation of 10,000 years of civilisation and the shining moment that, when the universe finally fizzles into cold oblivion, will mark out humanity's existence'.

But Wolves boss Mick McMarthy is likely to face an FA investigation for bringing the game into repute after describing his side's last-minute winner against Sunderland as merely 'smashing'.

The weekend's perspective-free balderdash was rounded off by the FA Cup third-round draw, which saw dozens of relatively-impoverished teams given the opportunity to not win the trophy by beating fourth-string versions of teams that couldn't give a tinker's tuppence if the trophy was melted down and turned into a statue of Wayne Rooney blowing his muck up a strumpet ... at the end of the day.

X-ray proof underwear, new defense in war with TSA scanners

Passengers traveling by air coming up to Xmas in the United States, who are worried about the Transportation Security Administration security scanners filming their privates now have a way out: anti-radiation underwear.

Oooooooo .......... sexy !!
Unfortunately, those who refuse the scanner are subject to the pat-down search which includes the crotch area and chest.

This policy is expected to include wearers of radiation shielding undies.

TSA chief John Pistole insists that there is no danger from radiation in the scans and that intensive searches are necessary to prevent increasingly imaginative bombers from boarding planes.

The TSA may be denied the pleasure of looking at your privates on x-ray, if you opt to wear the new garments, but that will not stop them from being able to - grope-at-will - all travelers who's privates they are unable to inspect in any other way.

The day I start believing what a Government tells me is a long way off, I'm still awaiting independent radiation testing on the TSA machines.

A Columbia University professor who studies radiation effects believes we are underestimating the potential cancerous risk of going through airport X-ray scanners. "Skin cancers are a particular concern," says David J. Brenner.

According to Brenner, the "backscatter” X-ray machines used in some airports does deliver a low dose radiation but that figure has to be taken into context. Evaluating the risks comes with a hefty dose of uncertainty, Brenner points out.

Skin cancers worry Brenner, he admits. He says the low-energy X-rays used in these scanners "deposit a significant fraction of their total dose, certainly not all, in the skin." He points out children are more sensitive than adults to radiation.

So should people opt for pat-downs instead of these scanners? Brenner believes the individual risk is quite small for infrequent fliers, but for those who fly often, "opting for pat-downs is perhaps a rational option."

BUT HERE'S THE PROBLEM THERE .................

Have you ever wondered about those gloves the TSA agents use over and over on all the intimate patdowns they do on passengers at the airport? Doctors are speaking out about how unsanitary this practice is.

According to the Daily Mail, a woman who had a sanitary pad on and who went through the body scanner at the airport was singled out for a patdown due to the sanitary pad being shown on the scanner.

The unidentified woman wrote to Gladrags, a women's health company, about her humiliating experience: "I was subjected to a search so invasive that I was left crying and dealing with memories that I thought had been dealt with years ago of prior sexual assaults.

Since the TSA patdowns include invasive groin groping, doctors are concerned about the gloves used by the agents involved. These gloves are not changed for each passenger, but used over and over again.

Dr Thomas Warner from Wisconsin said: "There is no doubt that bacteria (staph, strep, v.cholerae etc.) and viruses (noro, enteroviruses, herpes, hepatitis A and papilloma viruses) can be spread by contaminated vinyl or latex gloves.

"If a traveller has diarrhea and is soiled, as can and does happen, the causative agent can be spread by this method since bacteria and viruses in moist environments have greater viability.
"The traveler readjusting clothes can easily get the infectious agents on their hands and therefore into their mouth, nose and eyes."

Dr Warner raises the question "if we as doctors have guidelines, we must wear gloves and have oversight" why is the TSA not subject to these same kind of guidelines?

Dr Warner went on to say that the "gloves should be changed between patdowns, especially if the gloved hand is inside clothes or in the genital area... even if clothed. Travelers should be advised of this and hand-wash and change clothes ASAP after these intimate examinations."

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, or CDC, have issued a statement: "If you are traveling and are going to be searched, you can request that the TSA agent change his or her gloves."

The Transportation Safety Administration continues to defend its policies, claiming that there is no other way to protect the public from a potential terrorist attack using a commercial aircraft. Even Barack Obama has said that these invasive methods, although an inconvenience, are a necessary tool that the flying public will just have to live with if we are to remain safe. Of course, neither Obama nor any member of congress [or their families] are subject to these screenings. If they were, this nonsense would cease immediately.

Woman in rabbit killing 'crush video' apologizes

An Asian woman filmed killing a rabbit by sitting on it has issued an apology online. The woman's apology has been met with criticism from individuals, animal activist groups and online communities, who are not convinced, and believe it to be a lie.

According to online reports, an insider from "crush-fetish" - the organisation the woman allegedly belongs to - said this is often a tactic employed by such fetish groups to deflect the anger from outraged viewers who see the video and demand action and prosecution.

Chinese netizens, who have posted on the AsiaOne Forum, are calling for legal action to be taken against individuals and groups who are profiting from these animal torture scenes in the 'crush' video that has horrified millions of people around the world.

In the widely-circulated video that is in the news today, the woman picks up a small white rabbit and proceeds to kiss and stroke it before she kills it by crushing it to death, shocking viewers who are demanding an end to the abuse and killing of small animals like rabbits, kittens, puppies and more and are asking for news laws and regulations to be created to prosecute those who profit from this type of fetish industry film.

I am not going to post the video, and I warn anyone who does click the link to view it ........ it is unpleasant in the extreme.

The Event hiatus explained

Actors Jason Ritter + Sarah Roemer, the inseparable soul mates at the core of The Event – an intense sci-fi, conspiracy TV series reminiscent of Lost & 24 – explain the reasoning for a Mid-Season finale and what will happen when it returns in February

The Event is an emotional, high-octane conspiracy thriller that follows Sean Walker (Jason Ritter), an everyman who investigates the mysterious disappearance of his would-be fiancée, Leila (Sarah Roemer), and unwittingly begins to expose the biggest cover-up in U.S. history. Sean's quest sends ripples through the lives of an eclectic band of strangers, including newly elected U.S. President Elias Martinez (Blair Underwood); Sophia Maguire (Laura Innes), who is the leader of a mysterious group of possible extraterrestrial detainees; and Leila’s shadowy father (Scott Patterson). Their futures are on a collision course in a global conspiracy that could ultimately change the fate of mankind.

While The Event was in real danger of being canceled just weeks ago, NBC, the network behind the series, made a surprising commitment to keep the show -- promising to keep it up and running by ordering the rest of season's hour-long installments. With the Monday, November 29th episode marking the end of the first half of the Season One in the US. [17th Dec on Channel 4 / UK]

The Event is slated to return on February 28 [US], with 12 consecutive new episodes (including one episode that will allow viewers to catch-up on all the action, conspiracies and plot twists that occurred before the November 29 Mid-Season finale.). Most importantly, the three-month hiatus will allow The Event to avoid going against such ratings-draining competition such as Monday Night Football and it will give the series' writers a chance to fine tune some of the more murkier aspects of the various story-lines.

While loyal fans of The Event may find the three months nearly unbearable, Ritter thinks it's a move that will benefit the series and give The Event better-than-average chances of returning for a second season next fall. “I feel like it's a necessary break, especially for the writers and for NBC to be able to air the final 12 episodes of the Season One, all in a row," he confesses. "So it's sort of that thing where it's a longer wait, but the payoff will be all the better for it. It's great for us, because they're going to do a whole re-launching. Obviously, it's something that they thought a lot about and they know that it's a dangerous time for shows like this. I knew that they were deciding whether or not to take shorter, multiple breaks, but they decided to just go for one big one to really give the audience what they wanted once we started back up. So once we start back up, there's no stopping us until the very end."


LOST - 7
THE WALKING DEAD - 6 [early days / may rise]
ROME - 5
HUNG - 3


Hollywood has a lost true talent actor and all-around genuine guy with the death of Leslie Nielsen.

Leslie Nielsen, the man who spawned a comedic legacy with the hit Airplane! and the Naked Gun franchise, has died at the age of 84.

Nielsen's agent, John S. Kelly, confirmed the news that Nielsen passed away at a Fort Lauderdale hospital [thats a big building with patients, but thats not important right now] on Sunday, November 28. The actor was being treating for pneumonia at the time of his death and so did not get his wish ..... to die by having his nuts bitten off by a Laplander.

Leslie Nielsen found fame early in his career working on stage and television in New York City. The six-foot-two actor, with looks to boot, took on a variety of serious dramatic roles in live TV dramas before ditching the small screen and moving to Hollywood in the 1950s to try his hand at the big screen.

Nielsen was known around the Hollywood movie circuit as a dramatic actor, but his comedic side and love of pranks off camera quickly became apparent to those around him. He channeled his love for laughs into the 1980 hit Airplane! by originating an iconic role in an iconic film. Nielsen then went on to play everyone's favorite detective, Frank Drebin, in the Naked Gun hits.

Leslie Nielsen was a global celebrity and made cameos and spoofed himself over the years. He was marking 60 years of success in the television and movie industry when he died. My condolences go out tho those closest to Leslie Nielsen ........ He will be missed.

Sunday, November 28, 2010




DHS seizing websites guilty of copyright infringement

The past several days have seen the Department of Homeland Security, through its investigative arm seize dozens of domain names linked with copyright infringement.

The Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) arm of the Department of Homeland Security is responsible for the seizures that include sites facilitating the illegal music downloads and bootleg goods.

Visitors to Torrent-finder.com, 2009jerseys.com, and Dvdcollects.com will now find a message from the ICE-Homeland Security Investigations saying: "This domain name has been seized by ICE--Homeland Security Investigations, pursuant to a seizure warrant issued by a United States District Court."

The seizures follow in the wake of the recent Swedish court ruling sentencing the founders of The Pirate Bay, the most popular file-sharing website to a period of jail time and a fine totaling in the millions.

The ICE went ahead with the seizures despite never being granted the power to do so. The Combating Online Infringement and Counterfeits Act (COICA) bill currently in the Senate would grant the ICE the ability to seize any website that has no "has no demonstrable, commercially significant purpose or use other than" offering or providing access to unauthorized copies of copyrighted works."

A message from the founder of the TorrentFreak argued, "My domain has been seized without any previous complaint or notice from any court!". Also, within the message was a list of 70 websites seized by the ICE, all of which occurred within the last week.


Willie Nelson busted for six ounces of marijuana in Texas

Country music legend Willie Nelson, 77, was arrested Friday morning in Sierra Blanca, Texas at a Border Patrol checkpoint for allegedly possessing six ounces of marijuana.
According to Hudspeth County Sheriff Arvin West, Nelson was traveling in his tour bus from California to Austin when Nelson was detained by Border Patrol agents at about 9 a.m. Friday.

US Border Patrol spokesman Bill Brooks says the bus pulled into the Sierra Blanca, Texas, checkpoint about 9 a.m. Friday. Brooks says an officer smelled pot when a door was opened and a search turned up marijuana.

Border Patrol agents conducting a search of the singer's tour bus found about six ounces of marijuana, which Nelson claimed was his, according to Hudspeth County Sheriff Arvin West.

Nelson, a co-chair of the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML) advisory board, told authorities the marijuana was his. If convicted of the possession charge, he could be sentenced to 180 days in the Hudspeth County jail. Following the arrest, Mickey Raphael, Nelson's longtime harmonica player, said the Country Music Hall of Fame member was in good spirits. "He said he feels great -- he lost six ounces," Raphael told Rolling Stone,

Saturday, November 27, 2010


In light of the departure of (now former) assistant manager Ray Wilkins from Chelsea , and this morning's new, official Chelsea FC revelation that Frank Arnesen will be leaving his position as Sporting Director at the club at the end of this season, there is now a new, highly controversial rumours that suggest that Pep Guardiola, the Barcelona manager, is primed to take over from the current incumbent, Carlo Ancelotti, at the end of this season.

Rumours are that the club are seeking to replace Sporting Director Frank Arnesen with Barcelona’s former Director of Football Txiki Begiristain and hope that he can persuade Guardiola, whose contract expires at the end of the season, to come with him to Stamford Bridge.

According to sources close to Begiristain, he has met with representatives of Roman Abramovich, Chelsea’s owner, and is enthusiastic about succeeding Arnesen, especially if it would allow him to resurrect his successful partnership with Guardiola.

For Abramovich, Guardiola and Begiristain would represent an ideal pairing.

He has made no secret of his desire to see Chelsea winning by playing the most attractive football and, while the team has certainly played more aesthetically appealing football under Ancelotti, Guardiola’s Barcelona play the most stylish football in the world - an intricate passing game at dizzying speed allied to an intense pressure game when possession is lost.

The formula has been a huge success. Guardiola was appointed to succeed Frank Rijkaard in the summer of 2008 and won the league, cup and Champions League in his first season as manager. He retained the league title last season.

Guardiola renewed his contract with Barcelona last January but only for an extra year.





This year’s obligatory Black Friday frenzy video comes to you courtesy of the North Buffalo Target, where, according to one shopper, the scene “went from controlled to a mob in less than five minutes and it just got nasty.”

One man was reportedly taken to a nearby hospital, but was released a short time later.

FoxNation.com Reposts Anti-Obama Article From The Onion, Doesn’t Mention It’s A Joke

WASHINGTON — Having admittedly "reached the end of [his] rope," President Barack Obama sent a rambling 75,000-word e-mail to the entire nation Wednesday, revealing deep frustrations with America's political culture, his presidency, U.S. citizens, and himself.

The e-mail, which was titled "A couple things," addressed countless topics in a dense, stream-of-consciousness rant that often went on for hundreds of words without any punctuation or paragraph breaks. Throughout, the president expressed his aggravation on subjects as disparate as the war in Afghanistan, the sluggish economic recovery, his live-in mother-in-law, China's undervalued currency, Boston's Logan Airport, and tort reform.

According to its timestamp, the e-mail was sent at 4:26 a.m.

"Hey Everyone," read the first line of the president's note, which at 27 megabytes proved too large for millions of Americans' in-boxes. "I'm writing to you because I need to clear up some important issues. First and foremost, I want to say that this has nothing to do with the midterm elections because I was going to send an e-mail regardless of the outcome. However, I guess one could argue that, in the end, the midterms are an important measure of a president's overall success, though I wouldn't go so far as to call the results a referendum. Legislatively, I feel I've had a lot of success that I think history will judge quite favorably. I mean, pretty much every modern president has seen his party lose seats during a midterm, you know?

"Anyway," the e-mail continued.

A 150-page printout confirms that while Obama's points are generally cogent in the first quarter of the message, the increasingly chaotic spacing, multiple spelling errors, and near total lack of commas rendered the later portions almost impossible to parse.

Excerpts indicate an erratic use of capitalized and underlined words, with the phrase "Stopped a second Great Depression" mentioned 14 times in a bolded red font double the size of surrounding text. In addition, the e-mail contained multiple links to the Wikipedia entry for Social Security and line graphs of Ronald Reagan's year-by-year approval ratings.

Because Obama copied and pasted some critical passages directly from right-wing editorials and personal blogs, the e-mail included formatting irregularities that caused many citizens to receive a message in which all of the apostrophes were replaced with question marks. Moreover, some software flagged it as spam.

"I don't mean to be rude, but I thought we were all on the same page about health care reform," the 29th paragraph of Obama's e-mail read in part. "It was part of my platform. You all knew I was going to pursue it when you elected me. And just real fast, going back on what I said earlier, the economic stimulus cut taxes for 95% of Americans. It didn't raise them. It cut them. You people need to look at facts and stop listnening to all the right wing crap out there. By the way, we're basically out of Iraq now. You're welcome."

"JESUS CHRIST, WE LOST OVER @ MILLION JOBS BEFORE I EVEN TOOK OFFICE !!!!" reads a sentence occupying a large white space between two massive chunks of texts, one of which was a 6,500-word tangent on the Muslim community center being built two blocks from the former World Trade Center site.

Obama's FAKE email
According to White House sources, Obama "snapped" late Tuesday afternoon when a staffer reminded him he was scheduled to take a call from incoming Speaker of the House John Boehner. At that point, a visibly disgusted Obama was observed slowly repeating the words "House Speaker Boehner" before ordering everyone to leave the Oval Office, where he sat typing and, according to some, banging angrily on his keyboard for the next five hours.

When White House Chief of Staff Pete Rouse urged the president to sleep on the e-mail, Obama told him he had already sent it.

"In terms of fulfilling campaign promises I think I've actually done a pretty good job in terms of fulfilling campaign," Obama wrote in response to an anonymous comment made to a post by conservative blogger Michelle Malkin. "I know I said I'd close Guantanamo and I still want to do that but it's harder than it looks. And yes I know I said it would be done by now along with energy reform too—-trust me it is still a priority because "TOGETHER WE CAN " and we " MUST EMBRACE CLEAN ENERGY""

"Yes we can!" the e-mail concluded. "Ugh, you know what ? Forget it. Believe what you want. Yours, Barack."

Thus far the response from the American public has been subdued, though a sixth of the populace did not even receive the e-mail because the message generated 50 million mailer-daemon delivery failure notifications.

"I tried reading [Obama's] e-mail, but it was just way too long," said 48-year-old Sophia Washington of Moraine, OH, adding that because her computer displayed the text all on one line, she had to scroll from left to right in order to read it. "I just ended up skimming to see if my name was in there. It wasn't, but I did notice that my daughter can stay on my insurance for one more year. That's great. I think that's because the Republicans won the midterms."


Most people recognize The Onion as the Peabody Award-winning satire machine that it is. Some people, however, don’t. Which is why we get a story like this every few months. Of course, it’s sometimes easy to mistake an Onion article for the real thing since the writers make sure to skew as close to their targets as possible. It also doesn’t hurt when real news outlets reprint the satirists’ work and decide not to let their readers know it’s a joke, as Fox Nation did today.

Yes, the Fox Nation editors were apparently so enamored with an Onion piece from today entitled “Frustrated Obama Sends Nation Rambling 75,000-Word E-Mail” that they reposted the first two paragraphs in their culture section with nary a sign as to its fictional nature. The only clue that this wasn’t real (besides a quick peek at your inbox to confirm that Barack Obama hasn’t been emailing you) was a link at the bottom instructing readers to go to TheOnion.com for the real story. This tiny link was, unfortunately, not enough for the vast majority of FN readers. At least, that’s the way it seems from the comments section.

In fact, at the time of this post’s writing, you have to scroll through 20 comments to find someone who realizes the story’s fake. Five comments below that there’s actually someone (sarcastically?) saying they emailed The Onion for confirmation on the story.

Whether Fox Nation reposted this story without a disclaimer accidentally, as a prank, or because of something more sinister, you decide. However, Fox Nation should be aware that, sad as it may be, not everyone is familiar with the brilliance that is The Onion.


Click here to see the comments - > http://static01.mediaite.com/med/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Fox-Nation-Onion.png


In War Against the Obamas, Palin Drops Cookie Bomb

Sarah Palin brought 200 cookies to a Pennsylvania Christian school Tuesday, a hostess gift that would not be notable if Palin had not declared the move a stunt to mock anti-childhood obesity campaigns in public schools.

Fresh on the heels of Rush Limbaugh's pro-Twinkie tirade against Michelle Obama's health initiative, Palin explained to the audience, "I wanted these kids to bring home the idea to their parents for discussion. Who should be deciding what I eat? Should it be government or should it be parents? It should be the parents." The crowd roared. Palin was reacting to an incorrect report that Pennsylvania was considering banning sweet treats at school parties. She followed up with this tweet: "2 PA school speech; I'll intro kids 2 beauty of laissez-faire via serving them cookies amidst school cookie ban debate; Nanny state run amok !" (Is it odd to decry the "Nanny State" to the very people who actually have nannies?)

It's Not Parents vs. Government

Michelle Obama's health initiative ........ The Lunch Tray's Bettina Elias Siegel insists. "Of course, it’s the framing of that last question which is so specious, in that it seemingly pits governmental intrusion against personal freedom. But that’s not what’s going on here. I personally have no interest in regulating what foods a parent can or cannot bring for his/her child’s own consumption at school. That would, in my opinion, be a true example of a Nanny State. What I do object to, however, is the lack of oversight regarding what foods other parents can bring for my child’s consumption. ... when a child is at school, he or she is as captive to what goes on there as a person in an elevator is captive to second-hand smoke. We don’t allow smoking in elevators, and we shouldn’t allow the serving of food to school children to which a parent might object on a variety of grounds — nutritional, religious, a concern about allergens, or for any other reason."

Experts say obesity is now a full-fledged public health crisis. If the rate of obesity and overweight continues at this pace, 75% of US adults and 24% of children and adolescents will be overweight or obese by 2015, according to the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. Chew on that, Sarah."

Real Madrid v Barcelona: Monday night football

Real Madrid and Barcelona come together to contest the 'El Clasico' in La Liga on Monday.
Spain is expected to grind to a halt when the country's two biggest and richest clubs clash at Barca's Nou Camp stadium in the latest instalment of this historic contest.



World player of the year Messi, 23, and former holder Ronaldo, 25, are playing some of the best football of their careers. The Argentina forward scored a hat-trick against Almeria last weekend to take his league tally to 13 but Portuguese Ronaldo matched him with a treble against Athletic Bilbao to top the scoring charts on 14.

Both players have the freedom to roam off the flanks and are often most dangerous driving down the centre, dribbling past opponents and playing one-twos. Their styles are very different. Messi plays with schoolboy enthusiasm, making darting runs and exchanging quick passes with team mates. Ronaldo is more of a showman, making muscular charges down the pitch, and his powerful, swerving freekicks are a threat from any range.


The rivalry between the two clubs is steeped in politics, with the two clubs representing distinct regions and two distinct schools of thought. Barcelona is Catalan, Madrid is Castilian. Catalans favour independence, while Madrid is seen as the seat of the establishment and the royal family. When Barca are victorious it is seen as a rebellious victory for an independent regional culture while a win for Madrid represents the establishment re-asserting its authority.

On a sporting level, Real Madrid and Barcelona are the most successful teams in Spain. This means the results are not only useful for bragging rights but are often key to where the trophies end up at the end of the season. This latest clash is no exception.


The sides' rich histories have meant that the El Clasico has featured some of the greatest players of all time. Johan Cruyff, Zinedine Zidane, Alfredo di Stefano, Ronaldo, Messi and Luis Figo are just some of the greats to put their skills to the test in this rivalry.

CLASSIC MATCH: 2007 - Barcelona 3-3 Real Madrid

Lionel Messi was the toast of Barcelona when he completed a hat-trick in injury time to salvage a 3-3 draw for 10-man Barca. Real looked set to win until the 19-year-old Messi latched on to a pass by Ronaldinho, beat two defenders and thrashed a left-foot shot across Iker Casillas into the corner of the net to cap a sensational performance.


Both the Nou Camp and the Santiago Bernabéu Stadium are massive, and this only helps when creating one of the most incredible atmospheres in football. The Bernabéu can take 80,000 people, while the venue for Monday's match - The Nou Camp - is the biggest stadium in Europe with a 98,772 capacity. It should be electric ...

Special 1 TV: The Future

Friday, November 26, 2010


SARAH Palin has pledged a campaign of systematic fish genocide in a bid to stop marine life forms spreading lies about evolution.

The front-runner for the Republican presidential nomination has long expressed doubts about Darwinian theory, partly on religious grounds though mainly because she does not really understand what it is.

Promoting her breathtaking new book America by Heart: Reflections on Faith, Family, Flag and Fish, Mrs Palin said: "People say we come from fish, but fish can't drive trucks, they certainly can't hold semi-automatic weapons and, to the best of my knowledge, they do not aspire to be famous.

"So the question is - who's spreadin' these lies? Fish. They want to be seen as equals so they can have gay fish weddings and unmarried spawning and God only knows what else.

"All things with scales are liars. Fish are just big, fat swimming snakes, and it's time we put an end to them."

However the staunch Alaskan's plans to club all fish to death one by one have drawn a mixed response from her followers.

Tom Logan, a God fearer, said: "Don't she got a gun? Our ancestors didn't die for the right to bear arms just so's a woman can kill fish with a stick."

He added: "I would be honoured to lend her my bazooka."

In her first book Going Rogue, Mrs Palin seriously describes how she doesn't believe 'in the theory that human beings - thinking, loving beings - originated from fish that sprouted legs and crawled out of the sea' or 'from monkeys who eventually swung down out of trees'.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Inniscara Institute for Studies, explained: "Actually the theory of evolution is more about us sharing a common ancestor with monkeys than... oh fuck it, it's not going to make the slightest difference."

Twain biography a publishing sensation

When the creator of Huckleberry Finn wrote his autobiography he insisted that it not be released until the 100th anniversary of his death.

Now,one hundred years after his death, the popularity of Mark Twain's autobiography has caught publishers by surprise.

Twain [Samuel L Clemens] insisted on the 100-year embargo before publication in order to allow himself to speak freely, to tell all – though the idea that he had been tight-lipped in his opinions up to that point would have come as news to both friends and enemies. The embargo was not honoured by his estate's trustees, and various abridged versions of the autobiography have appeared over the years. Never before has the book been published as Twain wished it, though – in all its fragmentary and convoluted glory.

Twain appears to have felt honour-bound, or fated, to attempt to do justice to his world-famous, white-suited life, while at the same time worrying that any attempt to contain his shifting enthusiasm, his incessant imagination, his scattergun prejudices and vitriol and jokes, was almost doomed from the outset. Among the many entertaining themes of this volume are the various and contradictory prefatory notes to self, about the impossibility of the project on which he is embarked: "What a little part of a person's life are his acts and his words!" he offers at one point. "His real life is in his head and is known to none but himself…" If this internal monologue were to be written, he suggests, prefiguring Leopold Bloom by 20 years, "every day would make a book of eighty thousand words, three hundred and sixty-five books a year. Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of a man – the biography of the man himself cannot be written…"

Like the river that became his greatest subject, there would have to be meanderings and digressive tributaries, sudden floods of drama and discarded ox-bows of comic observation; moreover it would, by necessity, just keep rolling along. That The Autobiography of Mark Twain should have been begun while the author was 42, and restarted and abandoned 30 or 40 times over the course of the next three decades, that it should have eventually done away with beginnings and middles and ends and sought to submerge the reader in the unstoppable narrative of what was on the mind of America's favourite writer on any morning he chose to compose it, should therefore come as no surprise. Neither should the fact that a century after the book concluded – with the author's death – much of it still reads as compulsively as if it were being dictated in the next room.

Twain's ultimate solution to this problem was to have a secretary follow him around and take down his every passing thought. This was "The Final (and Right) Plan" at which he laboured for much of the last six years of his life, first in Florence, Italy, and subsequently in New York and elsewhere, often from his bed. What the method lacked in logic, it made up in offering an authentic glimpse of how Twain's mind worked, or at least how it was working as he neared the end of his life.

Twain's great virtue as a writer, his genius, was his deliberate refusal of borrowed propriety or scale. The tallest of tales could be fashioned from the most modest of ingredients. That skill is fully on display here, as he magnifies the trivial – a hilarious attempt to send a letter to France from a London post office, for example – while providing conversational intimacy for great historical shifts – in his dismantling of the neo-colonialism of Theodore Roosevelt, say, or his championing of Booker T Washington's nascent civil rights fervour. In all of this it is prudent, he suggests, to bear in mind his mother's words about him as a boy: "I discount him thirty per cent for embroidery, and what is left is perfect and priceless truth without a flaw in it anywhere." It is good to know that the ratio served him well right up until the end.



Episode 3 [Bernard Matthews related]


Bernard Matthews, who died yesterday, on Thanksgiving, November 25 aged 80, began with a clutch of eggs and an incubator and made his fortune by cultivating the British taste for turkeys plucked and oven-ready, and turkeys tumbled, extruded, lubricated, breaded, shaped and packaged into 120 assorted products.

In 1960 – Bernard Matthews entered the Guinness Book of Records as the biggest turkey farmer in Europe ...... he was 6'4".

Turkey Twizzlers

One of Bernard Matthews' formed-meat products, 'Turkey Twizzlers', became a subject of debate in January 2005, when they were singled out for particular criticism by the celebrity chef Jamie Oliver in his television series Jamie's School Dinners. The product became an emblem of the mass-produced processed food that Oliver wanted to remove from school meals. In the wake of the programme, several major catering organisations announced that they would no longer serve Turkey Twizzlers in schools. Bernard Matthews discontinued the product in 2005.

Animal welfare

On 7 September 2006, two contract workers were convicted of animal cruelty after being covertly filmed by a member of staff from Hillside Animal Sanctuary, playing 'baseball' with live turkeys. The two men were sentenced to a 200-hour community service which was later criticised as being 'derisory' by some animal welfare organisations. Palmer's and Allan's defence lawyer, Simon Nicholls, stated that their actions were part of a ‘culture’ at the Norfolk plant and, describing the conditions in the unit as "appalling", said: "You can see why people move to an organic, more open type of farming." An RSPCA inspector said it was the worst case of cruelty to farm animals of which he had heard A vet, after seeing the footage, said it was the ‘most hideous and blatant’ abuse he had seen in 25 years.

Avian flu outbreak

The 2007 Bernard Matthews H5N1 outbreak was an occurrence of avian flu in England that began on 30 January 2007. The infection was caused by the H5N1 subtype of the Influenza A virus and occurred at one of Bernard Matthews' farms in Holton, Suffolk. A range of precautions were instituted including a large cull of turkeys, the imposition of segregation zones, and a disinfection programme for the plant.

It emerged in a highly critical report from Defra that there was a series of biosecurity failings at the Holton plant, some of which had been drawn to the company's attention in the past.

Though the cause of the outbreak has not been determined, Bernard Matthews regularly transported turkeys and turkey products between the UK and its plant in Hungary, and the H5N1 bird flu strains found in Hungary and Britain were effectively genetically identical.
Consequences of the outbreak included bans by a number of countries on the importation of poultry from Britain, a sharp fall in sales of Bernard Matthews products resulting in workers being laid off and a collapse in confidence in the brand

What's the odds that 'All things Bright and Bootiful' will be sung at the funeral ?


It's a real toy .......... $29.95

This toy is like a magic 8-ball with a twist. Literally. You twist the crown of thorns into Jesus’ scalp until he answers your “prayers” between bellows and cries of pain.


SAVE MONEY : on water rates by only ever eating bananas, the food you can eat without washing your hands after a visit to the bathroom.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

José Mourinho and Real Madrid four charged with unsporting conduct :

Uefa has charged José Mourinho and four of his Real Madrid players over allegations he ordered Sergio Ramos and Xabi Alonso to get themselves sent off in a Champions League match.

Uefa's disciplinary committee will investigate Mourinho for alleged unsporting conduct as well as Alonso, Ramos, Iker Casillas and Jerzy Dudek. The Uefa control and disciplinary board will rule on the case on Tuesday.

Mourinho appeared to send instructions from the bench before Alonso and Ramos got second yellow cards for time-wasting late in a 4-0 win against Ajax in Amsterdam on Tuesday.

Their expulsions meant they should serve one-match suspensions in a meaningless group match against Auxerre next month, then start the knock-out rounds in February with a clean slate.

The case will be dealt with by the UEFA Control and Disciplinary Body on Tuesday, November 30.

After the game, Mourinho denied any wrongdoing, saying: "Stories sell, but the important thing is the 4-0 win and the fantastic game we had. Let's talk about that and not other things."

Rumbled in the jungle:

I'm A Celebrity's Gillian McKeith smuggles banned food goodies into camp... in her M&S knickers

Gillian McKeith took her trip Down Under to new levels after it emerged she smuggled banned food products into the Australian jungle in her underwear.


The oddball contestant broke strict rules by hiding items including rock salt, garlic powder and soup in secret pockets she had sewn into her knickers.

Food nutritionist Gillian had earlier been caught with contraband when she slipped salt in to her campmates' food, resulting in her jungle jail privileges being removed.

But show bosses were then alerted that Gillian, whose increasingly erratic behaviour has sparked concern in recent days, had more banned goods when Stacey Solomon asked her for 'special stuff' to go in her lunch.

Gillian was then spotted fishing around in her bag, causing producers to demand all contestants to hand over anything they are not allowed to bring into the jungle.

The 51-year-old TV personality then brazenly revealed her haul, which consisted of five pouches Japanese miso soup powder, eight stock cubes and assorted bags of cumin, celery and garlic, rock salt and herbs.



Click here to play -> http://www.inbflat.net/



They also do not share an aversion to snakes, while Indy hates snakes above all creatures, this Professor is willing to put his life on the line when dealing with the highly predatory Garter snake in this movie.

The Garter snake is a Colubrid snake genus (Thamnophis) common across North America, ranging from Alaska and Canada to Central America. It is the single most widely distributed genus of reptile in North America.

Garter snakes are harmless to humans due to the very low amounts of venom they produce, which is comparatively mild, and the fact that they lack an effective means of delivering it. They do have enlarged teeth in the back of their mouth, but their gums are significantly larger.

A bite may result in mild swelling and an itching sensation. There are no known cases of serious injury and extremely few with symptoms of envenomation.

Their average length is 3 feet.




Alan Partridge's Mid Morning Matters




1. Buy tickets to a Broadway show.
2. Turn up promptly at 8.
3. Dress well.
4. Wine and dine.
5. Show.
6. Back to your place.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010



Uefa set to investigate Real Madrid duo for 'deliberate' red cards

Uefa says it will study the match referee's report before deciding whether to charge Real Madrid players Xabi Alonso and Sergio Ramos for appearing to get intentional red cards in their Champions League match against Ajax.

Alonso and Ramos both collected second cautions for timewasting late in Real's 4-0 win at the Amsterdam Arena on Tuesday.

They will serve one-match suspensions in a meaningless final group match against Auxerre, then could start the knockout rounds in February with a clean disciplinary slate.

Neither player protested, and Ramos even shook hands with Scottish referee Craig Thomson before walking off the pitch.

Dutch broadcaster NOS showed footage of Madrid coach José Mourinho speaking to Alonso on the sideline before he picked up his second yellow. However Mourinho later dismissed any suggestion he had instructed his players to seek deliberate punishments.

Ajax sack player for 'pulling gun on team-mate'

Dutch police are investigating after a footballer was sacked by Ajax for allegedly pulling a gun on a team-mate while out on loan.

Dutch defender Rene Osei Kofi, 18, had his loan at second-tier club Almere City cancelled last week after a training-ground argument with forward Christian Gandu.

The row between the two players reportedly ended with Kofi going to his car and returning to the locker room with a firearm, which he then put to Gandu's head.

Several stunned Almere players are said to have talked Kofi into lowering the weapon.

Almere immediately cancelled the player's loan, and Ajax terminated the three-year contract he signed with the Amsterdam giants in 2008.

Neither club has confirmed the alleged incident as the reason for Kofi's sacking, although players from both sides have been ordered to remain silent on the issue.

Kofi had made eight appearances for Almere, who are currently second-from-bottom in the Eerste Divisie table with just five points from 13 matches.




Both Robert Downey Jr and Jude law will reprise their respective roles for the much awaited sequel to the 2009 hit Sherlock Holmes, due for release in Dec 2011. It is believed that this time round, the enemy will be none other than Moriarty himself.

Rapace, Downey JR and Law.

Jared Harris.
Professor James Moriarty is a fictional character and the archenemy of the detective Sherlock Holmes in the fiction of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Widely considered to be the first true example of a supervillain, Moriarty is a criminal mastermind, described by Holmes as the "Napoleon of Crime". Doyle lifted the phrase from a real Scotland Yard inspector who was referring to Adam Worth, a real life model for Moriarty. As he is depicted as Holmes' greatest enemy, Moriarty is considered to be the primary antagonist of the entire series, despite only making one physical appearance, in the story "The Final Problem" (though he's mentioned in numerous other stories, and operates behind-the-scenes in "The Valley of Fear").

Prof. Moriarty will be played by Jared Harris, son of the Irish actor Richard Harris.

Stephen Fry made an appearance on a BBC talk show confirming his role as Mycroft Holmes in the sequel.

Noomi Rapace.
Mycroft Holmes is a fictional character in the stories written by Arthur Conan Doyle. He is the elder brother (by seven years) of the famous detective Sherlock Holmes. Possessing deductive powers exceeding even those of his younger brother, Mycroft is nonetheless incapable of performing detective work similar to that of Sherlock since he is unwilling to put in the physical effort necessary to bring cases to their conclusions.

Noomi Rapace [Millennium Trilogy] will play the part of a French gypsy ally of Holmes, this will be the first english speaking role for the Swedish actress.

Brad Pitt, Gary Oldman, Daniel Day-Lewis, Sean Penn and Javier Bardem were considered to play Moriarty.