How to tell if you have piles ( Haemorrhoids aka Assteroids ) -
You'll need a chair with a reasonably soft seat. place the chair next to a window. do a headstand on the chair and place your bum up against the glass. why a window and not a mirror is something to do with refractive index. make sure the window is facing a police station or a little old lady that is sure to call a police station. the prison doctor will inform you if you have piles .
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