Click here to watch the US debt as it spirals -> http://www.usdebtclock.org/
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
NOW THIS IS A VERY GOOD FAKE
Robin van Persie completes Barca switch on SkyBet
Click here to watch the clip -> http://www.skybet.com/cms/breaking-transfer-news.shtm?name=Robin+van+Persie
Click here to watch the clip -> http://www.skybet.com/cms/breaking-transfer-news.shtm?name=Robin+van+Persie
Monday, January 30, 2012
DID YOU KNOW ................
Around 20% of the worlds population suffers with a sleeping disorder ..... Many sufferers feel that they have been robbed of the joy of life. Poor sleep habits are one of the most common problems encountered in our society. We stay up too late and get up too early. We interrupt our sleep with drugs, chemicals, work, and we overstimulate ourselves with late-night activities such as television .......... BUT A CURE IS AT HAND
Try reading this bugger ......... I got to page six before I nodded off.
Try reading this bugger ......... I got to page six before I nodded off.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
'UTD DEFEND TITLES ... LIVERPOOL DEFEND RACISM'
That's what one banner read yesterday when Manchester United went to Anfield.
The question now is ... Have Liverpool learned anything during the last 160 days ?
This Liverpool fan obviously did not ...... unless of course he learned that racism is acceptable at Liverpool FC and that it somehow shows support for that team, this may be the direct result of a club simply not coming out and stating clearly that racism in any form has no place at the club.
So, while the Sunday papers should be filled with pictures of Dirk Kuyt celebrating his winning goal against the old enemy, Manchester United .... instead, the world is treated to a picture of a Liverpool fan making monkey gestures at Patrice Evra ..... not the way to build a brand guys !.
The question now is ... Have Liverpool learned anything during the last 160 days ?
 |
| WILL THIS FACE BE ON THE NEXT LIVERPOOL T-SHIRT ? |
So, while the Sunday papers should be filled with pictures of Dirk Kuyt celebrating his winning goal against the old enemy, Manchester United .... instead, the world is treated to a picture of a Liverpool fan making monkey gestures at Patrice Evra ..... not the way to build a brand guys !.
GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT
That's the QPR way it seems.
Chelsea captain John Terry suffered the ultimate snub yesterday when the refusal of what was almost certainly the entire QPR team to shake his hand before the FA Cup fourth-round tie at Loftus Road forced the Football Association to abandon their much-vaunted pre-match ritual of respect. Mark Hughes admits a number of his players may have joined Anton Ferdinand in snubbing John Terry had today's pre-match handshake gone ahead.
Ever since the FA introduced the practice in the 2008-2009 season as part of their Respect campaign, opposing teams have filed past each other before the kick-off for a mass shaking of hands.
It is the second time Terry has missed out on the most basic of sporting gestures. Two years ago, Wayne Bridge, then with Manchester City, refused to shake the hand of the man who, it was claimed, had been having an affair with Bridge’s former girlfriend, a claim that was denied by both John Terry and Bridge's former partner, Vanessa Perroncel ..... both The News of The World and the Mail on Sunday subsequently issued retractions and apologies following their articles and admitted the information was inaccurate.
Chelsea captain John Terry suffered the ultimate snub yesterday when the refusal of what was almost certainly the entire QPR team to shake his hand before the FA Cup fourth-round tie at Loftus Road forced the Football Association to abandon their much-vaunted pre-match ritual of respect. Mark Hughes admits a number of his players may have joined Anton Ferdinand in snubbing John Terry had today's pre-match handshake gone ahead.
 |
| JOEY BARTON [for all his faults] HAS A MIND OF HIS OWN |
It is the second time Terry has missed out on the most basic of sporting gestures. Two years ago, Wayne Bridge, then with Manchester City, refused to shake the hand of the man who, it was claimed, had been having an affair with Bridge’s former girlfriend, a claim that was denied by both John Terry and Bridge's former partner, Vanessa Perroncel ..... both The News of The World and the Mail on Sunday subsequently issued retractions and apologies following their articles and admitted the information was inaccurate.
IF YOU'RE NOT CONFUSED, THEN YOU'RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION
 |
| CLICK TO ENLARGE |
The Anfield club contacted City on Thursday to ask how much they want for Tevez and whether they would be willing to contemplate a straight exchange with Carroll. Brian Marwood, the City football administrator, rebuffed the idea immediately, even though Carroll is a player Roberto Mancini has admitted admiring when he was at Newcastle.
The move demonstrates how Liverpool are now openly looking at offloading Carroll despite the insistence behind the scenes at Anfield that he can still play a prominent part and Kenny Dalglish's praise for the player after the 2-1 FA Cup defeat of Manchester United.
Carroll has scored only six goals in 35 appearances since becoming the eighth most expensive footballer in history and has not even been able to establish himself as a regular starter this season.
His problems adapting on Merseyside have also left Liverpool willing to take a £10m hit on the player, with Tevez valued at £25m, though that revelation is hardly surprising considering his difficulties at Anfield, added to the sense that he has not always been fully focused.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
SOMEBODY'S TELLING PORKIES
"I have a big problem, I can’t write, so I don’t keep anything. I’m the most disorganised person and I’m ashamed to say in the world, I can’t work a computer, I don’t know what an email is, I can’t, I have never sent a fax and I’ve never sent a text message.
Harry Redknapp ....... 27th Jan 2012
Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp has revealed he texted Manchester United defender Rio Ferdinand after he was given the England captaincy.
Harry Redknapp ....... 12th Feb 2010
Harry Redknapp ....... 27th Jan 2012
Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp has revealed he texted Manchester United defender Rio Ferdinand after he was given the England captaincy.
Harry Redknapp ....... 12th Feb 2010
Friday, January 27, 2012
TODAY'S TOP TIP
NEXT TIME: you need to take a bus trip anywhere in Europe .... contact www.bigbustycoons.com
QUOTE OF THE DAY
Football boss Harry Redknapp denied tax dodging by telling police "I couldn't even fill a team sheet in", a court heard today.
The Tottenham manager said he struggles with literacy, adding: "I write like a two-year-old and I can't spell."
The Tottenham manager said he struggles with literacy, adding: "I write like a two-year-old and I can't spell."
 |
| EXHIBIT 16a |
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
'THE MONEY WAS JUST RESTING IN MY ACCOUNT'
 |
| 'I'VE BEEN DONE UP LIKE A RIGHT KIPPER BY ME OWN DOG YOUR HONOUR' |
TODAY'S TOP TIP
RECREATE the atmosphere of a Snooker Championship by simply shouting "GO ON RONNIE" in a library.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
DID YOU KNOW ................
97% OF ALL PENCILS MIGRATE TO PENNSYLVANIA EVERY YEAR TO BREED ?
The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, is a U.S. state that is located in the Northeastern and Mid-Atlantic regions of the United States, and the Great Lakes Region. The majority of the state, with the exception of the southeastern corner, has a humid continental climate which is ideal for young pencils to thrive in.
Adult {Common} pencils stay with their offspring [Pogs] for 6 weeks after their birth, before returning to desks and drawers all over the world to co-exist with man in what is one of the most symbiotic relationships in the known world. Both species share not only complex DNA sequences but are also the only two species on the planet to instigate 'The Naughty Step' principle when raising their young.
Pencils breed in what scientists describe as a 'Cluster' and the event continues uninterrupted for several days in early spring, a time traditionally associated with 'missing pencils' in the world of man.
The Arctic pencil has no fear of man and it is for this reason that Mankind has waged a non stop campaign of terror against them since the early 60's.
 |
| A CLUSTER OF PENCILS. |
Adult {Common} pencils stay with their offspring [Pogs] for 6 weeks after their birth, before returning to desks and drawers all over the world to co-exist with man in what is one of the most symbiotic relationships in the known world. Both species share not only complex DNA sequences but are also the only two species on the planet to instigate 'The Naughty Step' principle when raising their young.
Pencils breed in what scientists describe as a 'Cluster' and the event continues uninterrupted for several days in early spring, a time traditionally associated with 'missing pencils' in the world of man.
The Arctic pencil has no fear of man and it is for this reason that Mankind has waged a non stop campaign of terror against them since the early 60's.
BOBBY TAMBLING
Bobby Tambling is a retired English footballer, who played most notably for Chelsea and Crystal Palace in the 1960s and 1970s. He is Chelsea's all-time top scorer, netting 202 goals in 370 games for them.
Tambling left Palace in October 1973 for Ireland, where he was signed by Cork Celtic. In his first season he helped the team win its first (and only) League of Ireland championship. He then took over as player-manager, with limited success, before leaving in 1977.
He was also the first manager of fellow Irish club, Cork City, in 1984, but his reign lasted only 13 games.
He continues to live in Crosshaven, Cork, Ireland where he is involved with Crosshaven's senior side. He has led Crosshaven to the Munster Senior League Junior 1st Division & Premier Division in the past few years before taking the seaside club back into the senior ranks. Tambling has a suite named after him at Stamford Bridge in honour of his status at Chelsea and was recently named in the club's greatest ever XI, selected to mark the club's centenary.
Bobby [70] is currently a patient in the South Infirmary, Victoria Hospital, Old Black Rock Road, Cork, Ireland.
My thoughts and best wishes go out to him and his family at this difficult time.
UPDATE - 25th Jan .....
'Spoke to Bobby yesterday, he's been in Hospital for 6 weeks for 2 (Fairly minor) procedures but will need time to recover. Family requested details remain private etc
Ron Harris and Paddy Mulligan have visited him in recent days. He is expecting to make a full recovery and indeed is booked to travel to attend Chelsea V Stoke game in near future as guest of Chelsea FC.
Theres a large Chelsea Support in Cork and indeed a Chelsea Pub so a few of us are to visit him this afternoon and will pass on all best Wishes. [Roy Foran]
 |
| LEGEND |
He was also the first manager of fellow Irish club, Cork City, in 1984, but his reign lasted only 13 games.
He continues to live in Crosshaven, Cork, Ireland where he is involved with Crosshaven's senior side. He has led Crosshaven to the Munster Senior League Junior 1st Division & Premier Division in the past few years before taking the seaside club back into the senior ranks. Tambling has a suite named after him at Stamford Bridge in honour of his status at Chelsea and was recently named in the club's greatest ever XI, selected to mark the club's centenary.
Bobby [70] is currently a patient in the South Infirmary, Victoria Hospital, Old Black Rock Road, Cork, Ireland.
My thoughts and best wishes go out to him and his family at this difficult time.
UPDATE - 25th Jan .....
'Spoke to Bobby yesterday, he's been in Hospital for 6 weeks for 2 (Fairly minor) procedures but will need time to recover. Family requested details remain private etc
Ron Harris and Paddy Mulligan have visited him in recent days. He is expecting to make a full recovery and indeed is booked to travel to attend Chelsea V Stoke game in near future as guest of Chelsea FC.
Theres a large Chelsea Support in Cork and indeed a Chelsea Pub so a few of us are to visit him this afternoon and will pass on all best Wishes. [Roy Foran]
Monday, January 23, 2012
Friday, January 20, 2012
Sopa protest not over, says Wikipedia
After a 24-hour blackout, Wikipedia has returned to full working order but declared: "We're not done yet."
The site had blocked its content for 24 hours in protest at proposed anti-piracy legislation in the US.
The encyclopaedia said the site had been viewed 162 million times, with eight million people following instructions to contact politicians.
The protest led to eight US lawmakers withdrawing their support for the proposed bills.
Two of the bill's co-sponsors, Marco Rubio from Florida and Roy Blunt from Missouri, are among those who have withdrawn their support after "legitimate concerns".
But backers of the legislation, led by the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA), described the action as an "irresponsible" publicity "stunt".
Wednesday's co-ordinated action was intended to raise the profile of the debate to those outside of the tight-knit technology community - an objective Wikipedia said had been met.
"More than 162 million people saw our message asking if you could imagine a world without free knowledge," the site said.
"You said no. You shut down Congress's switchboards. You melted their servers.
"From all around the world your messages dominated social media and the news. Millions of people have spoken in defence of a free and open internet."
Elsewhere, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg deemed the occasion worthy enough to post his first tweet in almost three years.
"Tell your congressmen you want them to be pro-internet," he wrote, linking to a longer statement on Facebook.
He continued: "We can't let poorly thought out laws get in the way of the internet's development.
"Facebook opposes Sopa and Pipa, and we will continue to oppose any laws that will hurt the internet."
Google, which urged its US visitors to sign a petition against the bills, said more than 4.5 million signatures had been gathered.
News Corporation chairman Rupert Murdoch, a vocal supporter of Sopa, continued to spar with users on Twitter.
He tweeted: "Seems blogsphere has succeeded in terrorising many senators and congressmen who previously committed. Politicians all the same." before asking: "On Sopa, where are all big film stars with many millions to lose ?"
NEXT WILL COME THE SCARE TACTICS NO DOUBT
Downloading songs can give you cancer !
The Russian Mafia runs Wikipedia
Look out folks ...... we may be heading back to the Dark Ages again if the American Corporations get their way .................
The site had blocked its content for 24 hours in protest at proposed anti-piracy legislation in the US.
The encyclopaedia said the site had been viewed 162 million times, with eight million people following instructions to contact politicians.
The protest led to eight US lawmakers withdrawing their support for the proposed bills.
Two of the bill's co-sponsors, Marco Rubio from Florida and Roy Blunt from Missouri, are among those who have withdrawn their support after "legitimate concerns".
But backers of the legislation, led by the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA), described the action as an "irresponsible" publicity "stunt".
Wednesday's co-ordinated action was intended to raise the profile of the debate to those outside of the tight-knit technology community - an objective Wikipedia said had been met.
"More than 162 million people saw our message asking if you could imagine a world without free knowledge," the site said.
"You said no. You shut down Congress's switchboards. You melted their servers.
"From all around the world your messages dominated social media and the news. Millions of people have spoken in defence of a free and open internet."
Elsewhere, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg deemed the occasion worthy enough to post his first tweet in almost three years.
"Tell your congressmen you want them to be pro-internet," he wrote, linking to a longer statement on Facebook.
He continued: "We can't let poorly thought out laws get in the way of the internet's development.
"Facebook opposes Sopa and Pipa, and we will continue to oppose any laws that will hurt the internet."
Google, which urged its US visitors to sign a petition against the bills, said more than 4.5 million signatures had been gathered.
News Corporation chairman Rupert Murdoch, a vocal supporter of Sopa, continued to spar with users on Twitter.
He tweeted: "Seems blogsphere has succeeded in terrorising many senators and congressmen who previously committed. Politicians all the same." before asking: "On Sopa, where are all big film stars with many millions to lose ?"
NEXT WILL COME THE SCARE TACTICS NO DOUBT
Downloading songs can give you cancer !
The Russian Mafia runs Wikipedia
Look out folks ...... we may be heading back to the Dark Ages again if the American Corporations get their way .................
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Websites go dark in anti-piracy bill protest
On Wednesday Jan. 18th thousands of sites will go dark to protest SOPA & PIPA, two US bills racing through Congress that threaten prosperity, online security, and freedom of expression.
Recently shelved in the U.S. House of Representatives, the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) stirred up controversy throughout the Internet. As of Jan. 13, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA) has made a promise to House Oversight Chairman Darrell Issa (R-CA) that the house will not be voting on the controversial bill until a consensus is reached.
Proposed October 26, 2011, by representative Lamar Smith (R-TX), SOPA would have allowed the Department of Justice to seek court orders against websites outside of U.S. jurisdiction accused of breaking copyright law.
Once the orders had been delivered, the U.S. Attorney General would be able to demand U.S. Internet service providers (ISPs) and advertisers to stop doing business with whatever sites become blacklisted. Search engines such as Bing or Google would also be forced to block links to sites that were found to be in violation of the act.
"It's an act that wants to start cracking down on what they call Internet piracy," said Barbara Evans, junior dance major. "However, I don't see it that way. I see it as a way for Hollywood and other bigwig executives to control what goes through the Internet and how we share things."
SOPA's biggest supporters included various large and traditional media organizations such as the Motion Picture Association of America, Recording Industry Association of America, Viacom, ABC, CBS, Comcast/NBC Universal, Marvel and Warner entertainment.
There were many big companies that opposed the act, mainly Internet companies such as Google, Facebook, Twitter, eBay, Wikipedia, Reddit, Yahoo!, LinkedIn and the Mozilla corporation, sites which allow users to share and spread content in manners outside of the traditional media model.
The public outcry was not ignored with Smith announcing Jan. 13 that he would be pulling the DNS-blocking provisions from the bill.
"After consultation with industry groups across the country, I feel we should remove Domain Name System blocking from the Stop Online Piracy Act so that the Committee can further examine the issues surrounding this provision," Smith said. "We will continue to look for ways to ensure that foreign websites cannot sell and distribute illegal content to U.S. consumers."
In the senate, six GOP senators, including Senator John Cornyn (R-TX), wrote to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev) asking to postpone the vote on the Protect Intellectual Property Act (PIPA, the senate version of SOPA) after hearing from their constituents over the winter recess.
"I'm hoping that it gets struck down, that more people become aware of it and write their senators and representatives to say they don't want this," Evans said. "It completely thwarts the ideas of creativity and the idea of education, especially education distribution through the Internet, which is what I think the Internet is supposed to be used for."
Recently shelved in the U.S. House of Representatives, the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) stirred up controversy throughout the Internet. As of Jan. 13, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA) has made a promise to House Oversight Chairman Darrell Issa (R-CA) that the house will not be voting on the controversial bill until a consensus is reached.
Proposed October 26, 2011, by representative Lamar Smith (R-TX), SOPA would have allowed the Department of Justice to seek court orders against websites outside of U.S. jurisdiction accused of breaking copyright law.
"It's an act that wants to start cracking down on what they call Internet piracy," said Barbara Evans, junior dance major. "However, I don't see it that way. I see it as a way for Hollywood and other bigwig executives to control what goes through the Internet and how we share things."
SOPA's biggest supporters included various large and traditional media organizations such as the Motion Picture Association of America, Recording Industry Association of America, Viacom, ABC, CBS, Comcast/NBC Universal, Marvel and Warner entertainment.
There were many big companies that opposed the act, mainly Internet companies such as Google, Facebook, Twitter, eBay, Wikipedia, Reddit, Yahoo!, LinkedIn and the Mozilla corporation, sites which allow users to share and spread content in manners outside of the traditional media model.
The public outcry was not ignored with Smith announcing Jan. 13 that he would be pulling the DNS-blocking provisions from the bill.
"After consultation with industry groups across the country, I feel we should remove Domain Name System blocking from the Stop Online Piracy Act so that the Committee can further examine the issues surrounding this provision," Smith said. "We will continue to look for ways to ensure that foreign websites cannot sell and distribute illegal content to U.S. consumers."
In the senate, six GOP senators, including Senator John Cornyn (R-TX), wrote to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev) asking to postpone the vote on the Protect Intellectual Property Act (PIPA, the senate version of SOPA) after hearing from their constituents over the winter recess.
"I'm hoping that it gets struck down, that more people become aware of it and write their senators and representatives to say they don't want this," Evans said. "It completely thwarts the ideas of creativity and the idea of education, especially education distribution through the Internet, which is what I think the Internet is supposed to be used for."
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
HE'S BACK
Deputy U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens is something of a 19th century-style officer in modern times, whose unconventional enforcement of justice makes him a target with criminals and a problem for his superiors in the U.S. Marshals Service.
Justified is the story of Deputy U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens (Timothy Olyphant), a true-blue hero and something of a throwback, given to wearing a Stetson and cowboy boots, carrying his sidearm in a hip holster – a weapon he only draws when he has to, and when he does, he shoots to kill, because, as he sees it, that’s the purpose of a gun.
The character of Deputy U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens was created by America’s pre-eminent crime novelist Elmore Leonard.
Justified is the story of Deputy U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens (Timothy Olyphant), a true-blue hero and something of a throwback, given to wearing a Stetson and cowboy boots, carrying his sidearm in a hip holster – a weapon he only draws when he has to, and when he does, he shoots to kill, because, as he sees it, that’s the purpose of a gun.
The character of Deputy U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens was created by America’s pre-eminent crime novelist Elmore Leonard.
NEVILLE CHECKS HIS PHONE IS WORKING
GARY Neville has spent the last 24 hours obsessively calling his voicemail and making sure his phone has full bars.
The former Manchester United moustache has guaranteed he can be contacted at any second should Alex Ferguson decide he needs somebody to amble up and down one side of the pitch until the end of the season.
Neville's agent Bill McKay said: "Gary's been doing star jumps in his back garden and rehearsing post match interviews in the hallway mirror and I haven't the heart to tell him.
"Have you ever seen somebody's spaniel sit by the front door with its lead in its mouth because it thought it heard somebody say 'walkies'? Now imagine it living in an eco-kennel and barking in a Mancunian accent."
Neville has carved out a successful second career since retiring from trotting around looking knackered by pointing at televisions on Sky Sports while wearing a suit.
Viewers have praised his ability to describe what he has just looked at and then say what he thinks about what he has just looked at without falling over.
But McKay said that Neville has remained hopeful United might need his services again and always wears a full United kit under his suit just in case.
He added: "I sometimes think it's like how a teenage boy reacts to his first love dumping him but then the image of Gary and Alex locked in a sweaty, fumbling embrace forces me to pull over and puke into a hedge."
The former Manchester United moustache has guaranteed he can be contacted at any second should Alex Ferguson decide he needs somebody to amble up and down one side of the pitch until the end of the season.
"Have you ever seen somebody's spaniel sit by the front door with its lead in its mouth because it thought it heard somebody say 'walkies'? Now imagine it living in an eco-kennel and barking in a Mancunian accent."
Neville has carved out a successful second career since retiring from trotting around looking knackered by pointing at televisions on Sky Sports while wearing a suit.
Viewers have praised his ability to describe what he has just looked at and then say what he thinks about what he has just looked at without falling over.
But McKay said that Neville has remained hopeful United might need his services again and always wears a full United kit under his suit just in case.
He added: "I sometimes think it's like how a teenage boy reacts to his first love dumping him but then the image of Gary and Alex locked in a sweaty, fumbling embrace forces me to pull over and puke into a hedge."
DID YOU KNOW ................
Everybody has a friend called 'Dave'.
Pope Benedict has mentioned on numerous occasions that if he had not been a Nazi , or a Pope ... he would have liked to have been a Rock Musician like his best friend David Lee Roth ..... The Pope played the Banjolele with the German Thrash Metal band 'Goth in Himmil' during the early '70s.
 |
| POPE BENEDICT XVI aka JOEY RATZINGER WITH HIS BFF DAVID LEE ROTH |
Monday, January 16, 2012
PHEEEEEEW !
SHERLOCK will be back for a third series, the show's co-creator has confirmed.
Benedict Cumberbatch, who plays hero Holmes, had teased fans by saying: "You might see that it's quite hard for me to make it back, after the end of the last episode."
And Steven Moffat today reassured viewers on Twitter he will be back, writing: "#sherlock Yes of course there's going to be a third series - it was commissioned at the same time as the second. Gotcha!"
Benedict Cumberbatch, who plays hero Holmes, had teased fans by saying: "You might see that it's quite hard for me to make it back, after the end of the last episode."
And Steven Moffat today reassured viewers on Twitter he will be back, writing: "#sherlock Yes of course there's going to be a third series - it was commissioned at the same time as the second. Gotcha!"
Sunday, January 15, 2012
DID YOU KNOW ................
IN THE MOVIE 'CASABLANCA', HUMPHREY BOGART NEVER ACTUALLY UTTER'S THE CLASSIC LINE ' Frankly my Dear, I don't give a damn ! '
Come back again for some more 'MOVIE BOLLOCKS'
Come back again for some more 'MOVIE BOLLOCKS'
SHOULD BE FUN
Hollywood is preparing for its annual party and prize giveaway, the Golden Globe Awards, but as much as Tinseltown's eyes will be fixed on which films and stars will be honored, its ears will be listening for barbs from show host Ricky Gervais.
The British comedian returns to the Golden Globe stage today for the third straight year to host the champagne-soaked bash where prizes are given for best films, TV shows, actors and actresses in precursor of the more staid Oscars. A-list stars from George Clooney to Angelina Jolie are expected to attend.
Last year Gervais ruffled the feathers of many stars in attendance, making fun of poor choices among several nominees, like box office bomb "The Tourist," by the very group that gives out the honors and hired him to entertain - the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (HFPA).
While Gervais hasn't given away any of his jokes yet, he did tell reporters at a gathering of TV critics this past Friday in Los Angeles that his verbal jabs were already written down.
"I have specific targets. I've written the gags, although targets isn't the word I'd use - subjects maybe," he said.
"I've got nothing against anyone in the room, I've worked with many of them, I like many of them, I admire most of them. They're just gags. I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings or give them a bad name or undermine the moral fabric of America. I'm a comedian, I rather they laugh than gasp but I'll cherish the laughs along with the gasps," Gervais added.
The British comedian returns to the Golden Globe stage today for the third straight year to host the champagne-soaked bash where prizes are given for best films, TV shows, actors and actresses in precursor of the more staid Oscars. A-list stars from George Clooney to Angelina Jolie are expected to attend.
Last year Gervais ruffled the feathers of many stars in attendance, making fun of poor choices among several nominees, like box office bomb "The Tourist," by the very group that gives out the honors and hired him to entertain - the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (HFPA).
While Gervais hasn't given away any of his jokes yet, he did tell reporters at a gathering of TV critics this past Friday in Los Angeles that his verbal jabs were already written down.
"I have specific targets. I've written the gags, although targets isn't the word I'd use - subjects maybe," he said.
"I've got nothing against anyone in the room, I've worked with many of them, I like many of them, I admire most of them. They're just gags. I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings or give them a bad name or undermine the moral fabric of America. I'm a comedian, I rather they laugh than gasp but I'll cherish the laughs along with the gasps," Gervais added.
Friday, January 13, 2012
WARNING !
Rum & ice will ruin your liver
Whisky & ice will ruin your heart
Gin & ice will ruin your brain
Pepsi & ice will ruin your teeth
Apparently ice is lethal !! Warn everyone .... LAY OFF THE ICE, just drink it straight !
AND DON'T FORGET what it did to the Titanic !!!
SAY WHAT ?
The fear of Friday the 13th is called friggatriskaidekaphobia (Frigga being the name of the Norse goddess for whom "Friday" is named and triskaidekaphobia meaning fear of the number thirteen), or paraskevidekatriaphobia a concatenation of the Greek words Paraskeví (Παρασκευή, meaning "Friday"), and dekatreís (δεκατρείς, meaning "thirteen") attached to phobía (φοβία, from phóbos, φόβος, meaning "fear"). The latter word was derived in 1911 and first appeared in a mainstream source in 1953.
DID YOU KNOW ..........
"Friday 13th is unlucky for some. The risk of hospital admission as a result of a transport accident may be increased by as much as 52 percent. Staying at home is recommended."
"Some people refuse to go to work on Friday the 13th; some won't eat in restaurants; many wouldn't think of setting a wedding on the date."
Legend has it: If 13 people sit down to dinner together, one will die within the year. The Turks so disliked the number 13 that it was practically expunged from their vocabulary (Brewer, 1894). Many cities do not have a 13th Street or a 13th Avenue. Many buildings don't have a 13th floor. If you have 13 letters in your name, you will have the devil's luck (Jack the Ripper, Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer, Theodore Bundy and Albert De Salvo all have 13 letters in their names). There are 13 witches in a coven.
It has been proposed that fears surrounding the number 13 are as ancient as the act of counting. Primitive man had only his 10 fingers and two feet to represent units, this explanation goes, so he could count no higher than 12. What lay beyond that — 13 — was an impenetrable mystery to our prehistoric forebears, hence an object of superstition.
Twelve gods were invited to a banquet at Valhalla. Loki, the Evil One, god of mischief, had been left off the guest list but crashed the party, bringing the total number of attendees to 13. True to character, Loki raised hell by inciting Hod, the blind god of winter, to attack Balder the Good, who was a favorite of the gods. Hod took a spear of mistletoe offered by Loki and obediently hurled it at Balder, killing him instantly. All Valhalla grieved. And although one might take the moral of this story to be "Beware of uninvited guests bearing mistletoe," the Norse themselves apparently concluded that 13 people at a dinner party is just plain bad luck.
As if to prove the point, the Bible tells us there were exactly 13 present at the Last Supper. One of the dinner guests — er, disciples — betrayed Jesus Christ, setting the stage for the Crucifixion.
Did I mention the Crucifixion took place on a Friday ?
Legend has it: Never change your bed on Friday; it will bring bad dreams. If you cut your nails on Friday, you cut them for sorrow. Don't start a trip on Friday or you will encounter misfortune. Ships that set sail on a Friday will have bad luck, as in the tale of H.M.S. Friday. One hundred years ago, the British government sought to quell the longstanding superstition among seamen that setting sail on Fridays was unlucky. A special ship was commissioned and given the name "H.M.S. Friday." They laid her keel on a Friday, launched her on a Friday, selected her crew on a Friday, and hired a man named Jim Friday to be her captain. To top it off, H.M.S. Friday embarked on her maiden voyage on a Friday — and was never seen or heard from again.
DID YOU KNOW ..........
"Friday 13th is unlucky for some. The risk of hospital admission as a result of a transport accident may be increased by as much as 52 percent. Staying at home is recommended."
"Some people refuse to go to work on Friday the 13th; some won't eat in restaurants; many wouldn't think of setting a wedding on the date."
Legend has it: If 13 people sit down to dinner together, one will die within the year. The Turks so disliked the number 13 that it was practically expunged from their vocabulary (Brewer, 1894). Many cities do not have a 13th Street or a 13th Avenue. Many buildings don't have a 13th floor. If you have 13 letters in your name, you will have the devil's luck (Jack the Ripper, Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer, Theodore Bundy and Albert De Salvo all have 13 letters in their names). There are 13 witches in a coven.
It has been proposed that fears surrounding the number 13 are as ancient as the act of counting. Primitive man had only his 10 fingers and two feet to represent units, this explanation goes, so he could count no higher than 12. What lay beyond that — 13 — was an impenetrable mystery to our prehistoric forebears, hence an object of superstition.
Twelve gods were invited to a banquet at Valhalla. Loki, the Evil One, god of mischief, had been left off the guest list but crashed the party, bringing the total number of attendees to 13. True to character, Loki raised hell by inciting Hod, the blind god of winter, to attack Balder the Good, who was a favorite of the gods. Hod took a spear of mistletoe offered by Loki and obediently hurled it at Balder, killing him instantly. All Valhalla grieved. And although one might take the moral of this story to be "Beware of uninvited guests bearing mistletoe," the Norse themselves apparently concluded that 13 people at a dinner party is just plain bad luck.
As if to prove the point, the Bible tells us there were exactly 13 present at the Last Supper. One of the dinner guests — er, disciples — betrayed Jesus Christ, setting the stage for the Crucifixion.
Did I mention the Crucifixion took place on a Friday ?
Legend has it: Never change your bed on Friday; it will bring bad dreams. If you cut your nails on Friday, you cut them for sorrow. Don't start a trip on Friday or you will encounter misfortune. Ships that set sail on a Friday will have bad luck, as in the tale of H.M.S. Friday. One hundred years ago, the British government sought to quell the longstanding superstition among seamen that setting sail on Fridays was unlucky. A special ship was commissioned and given the name "H.M.S. Friday." They laid her keel on a Friday, launched her on a Friday, selected her crew on a Friday, and hired a man named Jim Friday to be her captain. To top it off, H.M.S. Friday embarked on her maiden voyage on a Friday — and was never seen or heard from again.
TODAYS JOKE
I'll get me scrubs !
Thursday, January 12, 2012
STOP AND HEAR THE MUSIC
In Washington , DC , at a Metro Station, on a cold January morning, a man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, approximately 2,000 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After about 3 minutes, a middle-aged man noticed that there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds, and then he hurried on to meet his schedule.
About 4 minutes later: The violinist received his first dollar. A woman threw money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.
At 6 minutes:
A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.
At 10 minutes:
A 3-year old boy stopped, but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head the whole time. This action was repeated by several other children, but every parent - without exception - forced their children to move on quickly.
At 45 minutes:
The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.
After 1 hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed and no one applauded. There was no recognition at all.
No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before, Joshua Bell sold-out a theatre in Boston where the seats averaged $100 each to sit and listen to him play the same music.
This is a true story. Joshua Bell, playing incognito in the D.C. Metro Station, was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities.
This experiment raised several questions:
*In a common-place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?
*If so, do we stop to appreciate it?
*Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?
One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:
If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made . . ..
How many other things are we missing as we rush through life ?
About 4 minutes later: The violinist received his first dollar. A woman threw money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.
At 6 minutes:
A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.
At 10 minutes:
A 3-year old boy stopped, but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head the whole time. This action was repeated by several other children, but every parent - without exception - forced their children to move on quickly.
At 45 minutes:
The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.
After 1 hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed and no one applauded. There was no recognition at all.
No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before, Joshua Bell sold-out a theatre in Boston where the seats averaged $100 each to sit and listen to him play the same music.
This is a true story. Joshua Bell, playing incognito in the D.C. Metro Station, was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities.
This experiment raised several questions:
*In a common-place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?
*If so, do we stop to appreciate it?
*Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?
One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:
If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made . . ..
How many other things are we missing as we rush through life ?
TODAYS JOKE
A Manchester United and a Leeds fan collide in a huge accident on the motorway
Both cars have been totaled ........ but both men are unhurt.
"This must be a sign from God that we are meant to be friends" says the Leeds fan. "I agree" replies the Mancunian.
The Leeds fan then returns to the wreckage of his car, and finds a bottle of whiskey he had been saving.
"Look" he says to the Mancunian, "this must be another sign from God, we should drink this whiskey to celebrate our friendship and survival"
He hands the bottle over to the Mancunian who takes a large gulp from the bottle before passing it back to the Leeds fan, who then puts the top back on & returns the bottle to his car.
"Aren't you having any ?" asks the Mancunian. "No" replied the Leeds fan, "I think Ill wait till the Police get here."
Both cars have been totaled ........ but both men are unhurt.
"This must be a sign from God that we are meant to be friends" says the Leeds fan. "I agree" replies the Mancunian.
The Leeds fan then returns to the wreckage of his car, and finds a bottle of whiskey he had been saving.
"Look" he says to the Mancunian, "this must be another sign from God, we should drink this whiskey to celebrate our friendship and survival"
He hands the bottle over to the Mancunian who takes a large gulp from the bottle before passing it back to the Leeds fan, who then puts the top back on & returns the bottle to his car.
"Aren't you having any ?" asks the Mancunian. "No" replied the Leeds fan, "I think Ill wait till the Police get here."
MANCHESTER CITY 0 - LIVERPOOL 1
LIVERPUDLIANS HAVEN'T BEEN THIS EXCITED OVER ONE LEG SINCE PAUL McCARTNEY MET HEATHER MILLS !
It may be their first appearance at Wembley since the Spice Boys of 1996 trod the turf in their white suits before losing to Manchester United in the FA Cup final ...... and they are taking it very seriously.
The last time Liverpool saw the inside of Wembley ...... well .... for a start, it was the old Wembley, George Michael was No 1 in the UK charts with 'Fast Love' and the top movie at the box office was 'Twister'. The first ever 'flip phone' [Motorola's StarTac] was on the market at £600 a pop and 'Quake' was about to be released for the PC.
Manchester City have to go to Anfield and win in the 2nd leg if they want to proceed to the final at Wembley on the 26th of Feb .... where they could meet the might of either Crystal Palace or Cardiff ...... Yes, that's how seriously the big teams take The Carling Cup these days ... The likes of Manchester United, Arsenal and Chelsea see The League Cup as an opportunity to give their youngsters a run out ...... but for a club like Liverpool .... it has become their World Cup.
It may be their first appearance at Wembley since the Spice Boys of 1996 trod the turf in their white suits before losing to Manchester United in the FA Cup final ...... and they are taking it very seriously.
 |
| I GET THE FEELING THEY WON'T BE WEARING 'WHITE' SUITS IF THEY REACH THE FINAL |
Manchester City have to go to Anfield and win in the 2nd leg if they want to proceed to the final at Wembley on the 26th of Feb .... where they could meet the might of either Crystal Palace or Cardiff ...... Yes, that's how seriously the big teams take The Carling Cup these days ... The likes of Manchester United, Arsenal and Chelsea see The League Cup as an opportunity to give their youngsters a run out ...... but for a club like Liverpool .... it has become their World Cup.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
LATEST CRAZE
For those not in the know, " owling " is a brand new activity where people pose for pictures by crouching like an owl in unusual places, such as on top of a car, fountain or a staircase. In other words, Owling is the new Planking.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Kenny Dalglish defends Liverpool support of Luis Suarez
Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish insists the team's show of support for banned striker Luis Suarez had been "wrongly interpreted" as he defended the club's record on race relations.
He told the club's official website www.liverpoolfc.tv: "Obviously there was a big issue with Luis. The players showed support for Luis which was fantastic, but then some people interpreted that wrongly as the players saying they're not interested in the fight against racism.
"That is totally and utterly rubbish. If we can help to eradicate racism or discrimination from any part of the society, with the help of anybody at Liverpool Football Club, then that help will be forthcoming.
"We don't want racism anywhere near football and certainly not anywhere near this football club."
He told the club's official website www.liverpoolfc.tv: "Obviously there was a big issue with Luis. The players showed support for Luis which was fantastic, but then some people interpreted that wrongly as the players saying they're not interested in the fight against racism.
"That is totally and utterly rubbish. If we can help to eradicate racism or discrimination from any part of the society, with the help of anybody at Liverpool Football Club, then that help will be forthcoming.
"We don't want racism anywhere near football and certainly not anywhere near this football club."
Monday, January 9, 2012
THREE TIMES FOR LIONEL
Lionel Messi, already judged one of football's all-time greats at 24, unsurprisingly extended his reign as the world's best player for a third year on Monday.
The Barcelona and Argentina forward received the Fifa Ballon d'Or for 2011, beating his club team-mate Xavi Hernández and Cristiano Ronaldo of Real Madrid to the game's top individual honour.
"It's a huge pleasure for me," Messi said, after accepting the trophy from another three-times winner, the former Brazil forward Ronaldo. "It's the third time I get this award and it's a huge honour."
Messi's prolific scoring and unselfish creative play inspired Barcelona to win five trophies last season including the Champions League, Spanish League and Club World Cup.
Messi is the first player to win three straight Fifa world player trophies in the award's 21-year history. Zinedine Zidane of France also won three Fifa player awards.
Messi received 47.88% of the points in votes cast by national team coaches and captains plus invited journalists. They chose from a shortlist of 23 players. Cristiano Ronaldo finished second with 21.6% and Xavi got 9.23% to finish third for the third year in succession.
The Barcelona and Argentina forward received the Fifa Ballon d'Or for 2011, beating his club team-mate Xavi Hernández and Cristiano Ronaldo of Real Madrid to the game's top individual honour.
"It's a huge pleasure for me," Messi said, after accepting the trophy from another three-times winner, the former Brazil forward Ronaldo. "It's the third time I get this award and it's a huge honour."
Messi's prolific scoring and unselfish creative play inspired Barcelona to win five trophies last season including the Champions League, Spanish League and Club World Cup.
Messi is the first player to win three straight Fifa world player trophies in the award's 21-year history. Zinedine Zidane of France also won three Fifa player awards.
Messi received 47.88% of the points in votes cast by national team coaches and captains plus invited journalists. They chose from a shortlist of 23 players. Cristiano Ronaldo finished second with 21.6% and Xavi got 9.23% to finish third for the third year in succession.
THIERRY HENRY RETURNS TO ARSENAL
Henry, who left Arsenal for Barcelona four years ago gave a brief statement from the Arsenal Trophy Room today ... ' It's exactly the way I remember it ' he said.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
QPR BOARD SACK WARNOCK
Speculation over Warnock's future has been growing for the last few days after owner Tony Fernandes revealed on Twitter no job was safe at Loftus Road.
QPR currently sit just one point above the drop zone after failing to win any of their last eight Premier League games and they only avoided an early exit in the FA Cup after a last-minute goal from Heidar Helgusson rescued a 1-1 draw at MK Dons.
Despite spending heavily at the end of the summer transfer window, QPR have struggled on their return to the top flight and have picked up just 17 points from 20 games.
Warnock took charge at Loftus Road in March 2010 and after securing their Championship status he guided the club to promotion in his first full season in charge.
The 63-year-old guided his side to the Championship title and hopes were high QPR would enjoy a successful campagin back in the Premier League.
Joey Barton has called for a minutes violence before the next game which is away to Newcastle next Sunday.
QPR currently sit just one point above the drop zone after failing to win any of their last eight Premier League games and they only avoided an early exit in the FA Cup after a last-minute goal from Heidar Helgusson rescued a 1-1 draw at MK Dons.
Despite spending heavily at the end of the summer transfer window, QPR have struggled on their return to the top flight and have picked up just 17 points from 20 games.
Warnock took charge at Loftus Road in March 2010 and after securing their Championship status he guided the club to promotion in his first full season in charge.
The 63-year-old guided his side to the Championship title and hopes were high QPR would enjoy a successful campagin back in the Premier League.
Joey Barton has called for a minutes violence before the next game which is away to Newcastle next Sunday.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Liverpool hit by new racism row as fan is arrested
Liverpool have been thrust into another race hate row, after a fan was arrested on suspicion of racially abusing Oldham player Tom Adeyemi.
The incident occurred towards the end of the FA Cup tie at Klanfield, when a fan screamed abuse at the young full-back.
Adeyemi, who turned to confront the man, was visibly upset, and seemed to be in tears.
Liverpool skipper Steven Gerrard moved across to the corner of the ground where the incident occurred, and comforted the 20-year-old.
Eyewitnesses saw two fans wearing Luis Suarez t-shirts, and heard one of them clearly shout "You f***ing black b*****d."
Police immediately moved in to restrain the two suspects, and later confirmed arrests had been made.
A senior Liverpool figure explained afterwards that stewards were immediately on the scene, and he said: "We will do everything in our power to investigate the matter and ensure the appropriate action is taken."
The incident could not have come at a worst time for the club, following the controversy that has raged over the Suarez affair, who was banned for eight matches for racist abuse of Manchester United's Patrice Evra.
The FA are now sure to investigate, and Liverpool could face sanctions for failing to control their supporters.
A statement is expected from Liverpool manager Kop King Kenny [aka KKK] in the next few days.
Meanwhile ................................................................
Robbie Fowler was known for timing his runs perfectly when he played for Liverpool, but his decision to blacken his face to look like Lionel Richie couldn't have come at a worst moment for his former club.
The 36-year-old posted the picture on his Twitter account but later took it down after users began to complain about his choice of fancy dress.
The incident occurred towards the end of the FA Cup tie at Klanfield, when a fan screamed abuse at the young full-back.
Adeyemi, who turned to confront the man, was visibly upset, and seemed to be in tears.
Liverpool skipper Steven Gerrard moved across to the corner of the ground where the incident occurred, and comforted the 20-year-old.
Eyewitnesses saw two fans wearing Luis Suarez t-shirts, and heard one of them clearly shout "You f***ing black b*****d."
Police immediately moved in to restrain the two suspects, and later confirmed arrests had been made.
A senior Liverpool figure explained afterwards that stewards were immediately on the scene, and he said: "We will do everything in our power to investigate the matter and ensure the appropriate action is taken."
The incident could not have come at a worst time for the club, following the controversy that has raged over the Suarez affair, who was banned for eight matches for racist abuse of Manchester United's Patrice Evra.
The FA are now sure to investigate, and Liverpool could face sanctions for failing to control their supporters.
A statement is expected from Liverpool manager Kop King Kenny [aka KKK] in the next few days.
Meanwhile ................................................................
Robbie Fowler was known for timing his runs perfectly when he played for Liverpool, but his decision to blacken his face to look like Lionel Richie couldn't have come at a worst moment for his former club.
The 36-year-old posted the picture on his Twitter account but later took it down after users began to complain about his choice of fancy dress.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
BELIEVE IT OR DONT
Try this, if you can pronounce all the words correctly then you can speak English better than 90% of the world's English speaking population ...
Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how its written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciations OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Wont it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
Its a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up !!!
Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how its written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciations OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Wont it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
Its a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up !!!
Dalglish: We know what is NOT in the Suarez report
Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish offered a robust defence of the club's stance throughout the controversial Luis Suarez affair, despite the widespread criticism of their handling of the situation.
"We know what is going on, we know what is not in the report and that is important for us."
Aye Kenny .... ye seem to have a wee problem understanding what IS in the report though
Liverpool lost 3 nil to Manchester City last night in the 1st of 8 games that Luis Suarez is set to miss for his club for his racial outburst at Old Trafford in 2011, a statement from Liverpool FC after the game went as follows ; ' While it may appear that we didn't win last night, my players assure me that we did in fact put 5 goals past the City defence and therefore we consider last nights game a resounding victory for justice, persistence and bull-headedness in general'
"We know what is going on, we know what is not in the report and that is important for us."
Aye Kenny .... ye seem to have a wee problem understanding what IS in the report though
Liverpool lost 3 nil to Manchester City last night in the 1st of 8 games that Luis Suarez is set to miss for his club for his racial outburst at Old Trafford in 2011, a statement from Liverpool FC after the game went as follows ; ' While it may appear that we didn't win last night, my players assure me that we did in fact put 5 goals past the City defence and therefore we consider last nights game a resounding victory for justice, persistence and bull-headedness in general'
TODAYS JOKE
I'm really excited about moving into my brand new detached house this week.
I've already got a semi.
I'll get me overall's !
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Britain desperately trying to download games onto Kindle
THOUSANDS of Britons are trying to make video games work on their new Kindles after refusing to accept that the device is a type of book.
Amazon's Kindle e-reader was an inexplicably popular Christmas gift in the largely illiterate UK, with most recipients convinced it must be a games console.
Father-of-two Tom Murray, from Swindon, said: "My reaction on unwrapping it was 'cool, an early 90s Gameboy'. I was bang up for a bit of old school Mario Land.
"I realised there was something very wrong when I pressed a button that took me to a shop selling 'books'."
He added: "I vaguely remember 'books' from school. They're little rectangular things, you open them up and there's shitloads of words in a row. Gays carry them around as a signal to other gays that they want sex.
"Certainly a book isn't something I would ever want. Nor would I want one, electronic or otherwise, near my kids."
Kindle recipient Stephen Malley, 28, said: "I rang up Amazon and told them it doesn't do games and they just acted like they already knew and it wasn't even a problem.
"There isn't even an app that makes the screen look like it's lager, and when you tip it it's like you're drinking the lager. You know what I mean, it's funny as fuck."
He added: "As it stands it's worse than useless. I might fry it."
Stephen Malley's mother Pat, who bought him the Kindle, said: "I thought it might encourage Stephen to read more. That said I did think it would at least have Tetris on it.
"They should put a sticker on the box saying 'Warning: is a book'. Then people could make up their own minds."
Amazon's Kindle e-reader was an inexplicably popular Christmas gift in the largely illiterate UK, with most recipients convinced it must be a games console.
 |
| Tom Murray is not quite sure if he is confused or has been swindled |
"I realised there was something very wrong when I pressed a button that took me to a shop selling 'books'."
He added: "I vaguely remember 'books' from school. They're little rectangular things, you open them up and there's shitloads of words in a row. Gays carry them around as a signal to other gays that they want sex.
"Certainly a book isn't something I would ever want. Nor would I want one, electronic or otherwise, near my kids."
Kindle recipient Stephen Malley, 28, said: "I rang up Amazon and told them it doesn't do games and they just acted like they already knew and it wasn't even a problem.
"There isn't even an app that makes the screen look like it's lager, and when you tip it it's like you're drinking the lager. You know what I mean, it's funny as fuck."
He added: "As it stands it's worse than useless. I might fry it."
Stephen Malley's mother Pat, who bought him the Kindle, said: "I thought it might encourage Stephen to read more. That said I did think it would at least have Tetris on it.
"They should put a sticker on the box saying 'Warning: is a book'. Then people could make up their own minds."
Sunday, January 1, 2012
99-year-old divorces wife after he discovered 1940s affair
An Italian couple are to become the world's oldest divorcees, after the 99-year-old husband found that his 96-year-old wife had an affair in the 1940s.
The Italian man, identified by lawyers in the case only as Antonio C, was rifling through an old chest of drawers when he made the discovery a few days before Christmas.
Notwithstanding the time that had elapsed since the betrayal, he was so upset that he immediately confronted his wife of 77 years, named as Rosa C, and demanded a divorce.
Guilt-stricken, she reportedly confessed everything but was unable to persuade her husband to reconsider his decision.
She wrote the letters to her lover during a secret affair in the 1940s, according to court papers released in Rome this week.
The couple are now preparing to split, despite the ties they forged over nearly eight decades – they have five children, a dozen grandchildren and one great-grand child.
The couple met during the 1930s when Antonio was posted as a young Carabinieri officer to Naples.
The Italian man, identified by lawyers in the case only as Antonio C, was rifling through an old chest of drawers when he made the discovery a few days before Christmas.
Notwithstanding the time that had elapsed since the betrayal, he was so upset that he immediately confronted his wife of 77 years, named as Rosa C, and demanded a divorce.
Guilt-stricken, she reportedly confessed everything but was unable to persuade her husband to reconsider his decision.
She wrote the letters to her lover during a secret affair in the 1940s, according to court papers released in Rome this week.
The couple are now preparing to split, despite the ties they forged over nearly eight decades – they have five children, a dozen grandchildren and one great-grand child.
The couple met during the 1930s when Antonio was posted as a young Carabinieri officer to Naples.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)