Clarkson sues Gervais for schtick theft

TOP Gear lynchpin Jeremy Clarkson is to sue Ricky Gervais for trying to steal his personality.

Sources claim Clarkson flew into a blind rage after the The Office star used marketing tool Twitter to lampoon a minority group and then deride critics as jealous, sour-faced killjoys - a method copyrighted by Clarkson in 2003.

A Top Gear insider said: "Jeremy went mental, storming out to the rusty shed where Richard Hammond is kept chained up and giving him twice his normal daily quota of inner-thigh cigarette burns while bawling sweary legal threats into his Nokia."

He continued: "You don't have to be a genius to figure out Ricky's game.

MURRAY CLARKSON

"Why do you think he's spent years cultivating a comic triple act that includes a tall, quieter one and a court jester-whipping boy who's forever being pushed out of his comfort zone with hilarious results?

"It's an open secret in TV that Gervais's most cherished goal is to commandeer Top Gear and see Europe's middle-managers swap their blazer-and-jeans ensembles for tight black v-neck tees that will make them look like portly cat burglars."

Clarkson enthusiast Murray 'No relation' Clarkson said: "Perhaps they can do another special edition of The Office - which was always a little esoteric for my taste - with a load of gypsy gags.

"I'm always looking to expand my cultural horizons, as long as whatever I'm watching or reading is based largely on hate."