IT'S FUNNY COZ IT'S TRUE

Nobby Stiles was reputedly "careful" with money and was always quick to find out if his wages were commensurate with others in the team, especially new arrivals.

When George Best arrived at training amidst a lot of publicity Nobby soon sidled up to George and found out that George was on more than him.

This prompted a visit to Matt Busby's office, where he said,..."I'm on £40 a week during the season and £25 a week in the Close Season and that Irish kid is on £75 a week in the season and £35 in the close season,...Why?"

Sir Matt said,.."Nobby,.....He's a better player than you are!" To which Nobby replied,..."Not in the f*rking close season, he isnt!"

FINALLY ... A GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD FOR MEN

Now the age old question 'Does my arse look big in this ?' could be a thing of the past with this 3d Scanner.

The Structure Sensor is not only a device that will capture real life objects and create them into virtualized 3D representation of them, it is way more than that.


The Structure Sensor can be used on anything and you don’t have to stand still or place an object into a 3D scanner machine. This device is added on to your iPad, and you can literally walk around and scan entire objects or environments down to the smallest detail. Not only does it scan, meaning creating a wireframe mesh out of the things it sees, but it textures it naturally so it looks like a photorealistic copy of the real thing at the same time. It is a mind-boggling thing to see and to think that it is all possible with a little device added onto your iPad is just an unearthly feeling.



The Structure Sensor is currently being refined and perfected for the consumer market but you can pre-order it over at Occipital, the developer of the device, for the price of $349.00. Even though I have seen the video several times already I can’t believe what I have just seen. This device is a beast packaged in a device which you strap on to your iPad, how trippy is that?

Spurs to build on first 13 seconds

SPURS say they will take the positives from their unbeaten 13 seconds against Manchester City.

Players have been studying the video of yesterday’s kick off to see which of their half dozen touches of the ball led to the first goal.


Manager Andre Villas-Boas said: “If we can push on from here we might be able to get a throw-in before it all turns to shit.”

'Watch yer back mate'

Villas-Boas has also proposed that matches return to the centre circle every 10 seconds, as well as a cricket-style declaration system to end a match whenever necessary.

Meanwhile, fans have questioned the manger’s team selection which yesterday included a still-concussed Hugo Lloris playing in slippers and a dressing gown.

Villas-Boas added: “By breaking down a match into 13-second sections it’s clear we just need to work on the remaining 414 of them.

“I suspect that will be a standard quote one day – ‘it’s a game of 415 13-second sections, Brian’.”

THE SPURS JOKE .............

I was driving past White Hart Lane last night and I saw 3 season tickets nailed to the gates, so I thought .... I'll have them .... never know when you might need a few nails !

TRU DAT

France win and weather girl vows to present naked

French television viewers may be in for a shock tonight after Doria Tillier vowed to present the weather forecast naked if France qualified for the World Cup. 

With France 2-0 down after the first leg of their play-off against Ukraine, Tillier promised to take her clothes off if Les Bleus recovered to qualify for next year’s Finals in Brazil.

On the evidence of the first leg, the chances of Tillier taking her clothes on national television looked vanishingly slim.

Viewers can tune in to Canal+ tonight to see if Tillier fulfills her promise after Didier Deschamps’ side beat Ukraine 3-0 at Stade de France.

After France scored their second goal to draw level, Tillier tweeted: ‘F***. 2-0 for France. I’m starting to stress.’

Tillier, a former model and actress, has been a weather presenter on French nightly news and talk show Le Grand Journal since August 2012.

Wonder if it rained in Paris today 

UPDATE

TODAY'S JOKE

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well ....  Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. 

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him!

But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" 

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed"

Hmmmmmmmmm .........

NOPE .............. NOT FOR ME

They are called 'Camel Hump' hats in fashion circles 


'Butt Cheek' hats on the street ....

TODAY'S JOKE

Went to the Doctor this morning because I had swallowed some coins ...

He made me take a laxative ....

The nurse just told me there's no change yet ....

I'll get me Hospital gown !

GO ON ......... HAVE A LAUGH

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Chinese Movie Theater Uses Fan-Made Thor 2 Poster

A movie theater in Shanghai has unintentionally come up with some brilliant viral marketing for Marvel's Thor: The Dark World.

A fan-made poster for Thor 2 has been making the rounds online in recent weeks, and depicts Thor (Chris Hemsworth) cradling his nefarious brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston) in a loving embrace.

Well, as it turns out, a Chinese cinema mistook this Photoshopped image for the real thing and used it to promote the superhero sequel in their theater. I guess nobody told them about the actual poster, which has Thor pulling the same move on his girlfriend Jane (Natalie Portman).

Justin Timberlake sings the iconic Auld Triangle

JUSTIN Timberlake has tackled the Luke Kelly classic for the soundtrack of the new Coen brothers movie.

The new movie Inside Llewyn Davis centres around New York’s Greenwich Village in the early 1960s.

Reaction to Timberlake has been mixed with some claiming he has adopted a fake Irish accent. “What's the story with the put on Irish accent?” asked one commentator, who said: “It probably would be a decent version of the song only for that.” Another listener said: “Not bad....can't hold a candle to Luke, but kudos for putting new blood to it.”

DANCE