HOW CRAP IS THIS PROGRAMME

For a start , why dont they call the show what it is ......... I live in my own shit and I dont really mind !

Here we go with some more " Humiliation TV " , same show after same show every week , I dont know how they tell the episodes apart , maybe its by the insults they hurl at the occupants , cant use the same ones every week so the script writers have to keep coming up with new and innivitive ways of telling us exactly how filthy the houses are , not actually sure why they do as we're watching it all in high def on our widescreen TV's .
Every episode starts the same , the cleaners [thats what they are] Kim and Aggie scream and howl their way through someones house exclaiming as they go " Oh my God Aggie " and " Oh my God Kim " , then they switch between an assortment of nouns such as [filthy , grimey , horrendous , horrific , gross , atrocious , unbelievable , vile] and then tell us how they cannot believe what they're seeing . Next they pick through the persons belongings trying to find the single most disgusting thing on the property to show us , they once again scream and howl about how disgusted they are [as if cleaners never come accross dirt in their line of work] .
Now comes the fun bit [if your into Humiliation TV] the owner of the premises is wheeled in to be insulted and belittled by two cleaning women in a mock horror type scenario with phrases like " How on earth can you live in this filth ? " or " We've never seen anything like this before " [presumably since the previous episode at least ], this part of the show is milked for every ounce it is worth ........ then Aggie will tell us all how many bacteria there are and where they live while Kim shows someone how to wipe a table top .
Then the real cleaners come in to clean the house while Aggie and Kim take the rest of the day off presumably ......... next day sees the return of the two cleaning women to take full credit for all thats been accomplished and hopefully hear from the grateful householder that " they have their life back again " or maybe " you've saved my life " .
If the occupant happens to be a man , this is Kim's opportunity to get a kiss and to saucily tell him that " only in his dreams " could he get more ........... this from mutton dressed as mutton ! ...... to be honest , this particular part of the show is more disturbing than the rest , frankly I'd rather live in the shit .


My favorite quote of the series has to be " I'd be ashamed if anyone saw inside my house " Cue the cameras !


Kim, Aggie and their team are looking for more dirty houses to clean in the next series of their popular programme “How Clean is Your House” on Channel 4.

LIVERPOOL FC END OF SEASON PARTY [nov 24 '09]

Lets have a closer look , shall we ?




Its not a coincidence that Liverpool fans are calling Rafa -Rafa Beneath us !

GIVE PEAS A CHANCE

Hmmmmmm , interesting

hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia (uncountable)
The fear of long words, ironically. It is literally the hippopotamus- and monster-related fear of very long words.
Ben is a sufferer of a mild form of hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia
Whereas hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is simply a
common misspelling of hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia.

FIFA GRANT IRELAND 2nd 1/2 EXTRA TIME REPLAY

...... with a few minor adjustments

THE THIERRY HENRY GAME

Think you can do better than Thierry Henry ?
Well ......... have a go yourself , its not that easy to
cheat your way to South Africa .


http://www.jeu-de-main.com/

HENRYGATE

Fifa Fair Play Code: "Play fair. Winning is without value if victory has been achieved unfairly or dishonestly. Cheating is easy, but brings no pleasure. Playing fair requires courage and character. Fair play always has its reward, even when the game is lost. Playing fair earns respect, while cheating only brings shame. Remember: it is only a game. And games are pointless unless played fairly." .................................... And as Al Murray [The Pub Landlord] is fond of saying ....... " You have to have rules , if you didn't have rules ... where would you be ? ................................ FRANCE " !................................. The world has reacted with revulsion at Thierry Henry's handball that helped France make the 2010 World Cup Finals in South Africa.
But in the most part, the response to the 'Hand of Frog' incident - surely soon to be rechristened 'Henrygate' - has been humorous [with the French National Water Polo Team coming out and condeming diving] except in Ireland where sales of a certain razor blade are set to plummet and the phrase Va-Va-Voom has been banned.

French paper L'Equipe critisized Henry for not taking the game in hand (sorry) early on in the tie , they are unhappy with how the game played out and admitted that Henry did in fact cheat , but at least he did put his hand (Ooops) up and admit it when the game was over . He got a big hand (shit) from the French crowd at the final whistle who knew they had been handed (bloody hell) this victory on a plate by FIFA .


It has been said that the only reason that the French aggreed to the channel tunnel being built was because it meant they could run further the next time they were invaded ......... they have an odd way of making friends .

..... and dont forget the famous French joke -
Man 1 " Whats the most common French expression ? "
Man 2 " I give up "
Man 1 " Correct ! "

An odd thing about the whole affair was that Lenny Henry starting getting hate mail
after the game from Irish people , not because his name was Henry ... it was because he's married to Dawn French .






There's already a Facebook group 'We Irish hate Thierry Henry the Cheat' that could bring the Internet down with it's popularity.



























































the final pic is my take on this nonsense

HOW TO GROW AN AMERICAN BUTT

The Luther Rory,
- A one third pound of sirloin topped with two slices of white American cheese four strips of bacon, peanut butter, between two Krispy Kreme donuts.










The Toaster Orgy

A toaster strudel topped with cream cheese, strawberry jelly, butter and Aunt Jemima syrup sandwiched between two waffles, all covered in strawberry cream cheese and more syrup.







Chocolate Dipped Potato Chips








The Steakinator

2 8oz Prime Angus steaks with braised short rib, cheddar cheese, bacon and a fried egg on a toasted cheese and garlic sourdough bun.
















Cupcake Kebabs



















The Scotch Mega-Egg


















The Meat-Up - Ground Beef, topped with 2 pepperoni logs, stuffed with Cheez Whiz, topped with a layer of bacon, topped with a layer of mozzarella cheese slices, topped with more bacon, topped with meatballs and served with brown gravy.




Where the Buffalo “Rome”






Triple-decker pizza stack (1 ham, 1 sausage, 1 pepperoni) layered with boneless buffalo chicken wings, topped with a ranch and buffalo sauce, sprinkled with bacon bits. Served with a side of ranch dressing.




Ultimate White Trash Hot Dog








A hot dog infused with cheese, deep fried, wrapped in bacon and fried again. Served with french fries.









Peanut Butter French Toast
A giant peanut butter sandwich, coated in french toast batter and bran flakes, fried in a griddle and served with caramelized bananas and brown sugar syrup.








Triflebetes

A trifle dessert whose layers from top to bottom include: sugar crystals, cotton candy, Butterfinger pieces, melted Caramels, Twinkies, peanut butter mousse, Rice Krispy treats, chocolate syrup, melted candy bar, peppermint cookies, Girl Scout Thin Mints, white chocolate pudding, Crème Horns, melted butterscotch and Brownies.






El Niño

Ground beef, sauteed onions, sour cream, lettuce, tomato and cheddar cheese wrapped in a large pepperoni pizza, totaling three pounds.












The Fat Bastard Burger

Burger with triple beef, triple bacon, triple cheese and carmelized onions.














Chocolate Bacon Pogo On A Stick

Bacon wrapped in angel food cake, battered and deep fried, dipped in chocolate and served on a stick.













The Widowmaker

1.5 lbs of ground beef, 1 package of bacon, 1 package of italian sausage, 1 box of hot pockets, 1/2 package of fried onion strips between 2 Tombstone Pepperoni Pizzas topped with Velveta Cheese and Marinara Sauce.











Max Brenner’s Chocolate Pizza

Pizza topped with double melted chocolate chunks, melted marshmallows and candied hazelnut crunch bits.








World’s Largest Burger

A 185 pound burger is the latest Guinness World Record holder.















The Meat Baby













Double Stuffed Pizza Fatty

Sausage stuffed with pepperoni, cheese and veggies stuffed inside more sausage with a second layer of toppings, all smoked and then topped with pepperoni.












Donut Ice Cream Cake

2 boxes of chocolate Ice cream, 2 boxes of vanilla ice cream, 1 dozen chocolate donuts, 1 dozen regular cake donuts, 1 box of crushed oreo cookies, 1 can of hershey’s chocolate syrup, 1 box of chocolate graham crackers, topped by 2 tubs of cool whip.












Year of The Triple Bypass

A burger filled with chinese BBQ pork between two pork buns.











The Fat Elvis

A deep fired peanut butter, jelly and banana sandwich sprinkled with powdered sugar.












Meatini

A full English fried breakfast served in a cocktail glass made out of bacon.













The Fat Koko

Cheesesteak with mozzarella sticks and french fries on a roll.







The Brain Burrito

A beef taquito wrapped in a breakfast burrito filled with eggs, cheese, fries, and then wrapped in a giant quesadilla. Served with hot sauce and sour cream.











Double Bypass Burger

A burger topped with five slices of bacon, four slices of cheese, two fried eggs, mayo, lettuce, tomato, and onion between two grilled cheese sandwiches.














McDonald’s Mega Tamago

A McDonald’s Big Mac with egg and bacon.














Corn Corn

Corn on the Cob on a stick, covered in corn dog batter and deep fried.








The Rubix Cubewich






















Double Cheeseburger Po-Boy

A 14 inch po-boy filled with eight six ounce cheeseburger patties.















Hamburger Helper Pizza Burger













Mork’s Dork From Ork

A half pound duck and pork patty, cheddar cheese, seven pieces of maple bacon, sauteed onions and zillion island sauce on a kaiser roll.















Magical Rainbow Tower Of Dreams

Ten layers of multi-coloured chocolate chip sponge cake, each separated with a layer of icing.

















The Spamsicle

Deep fried Spam slice on a stick.













Flapjack Fiasco

Layers from bottom to top: pancake; cookie dough; pancake; peanut butter and jelly; pancake; chocolate and bananas; pancake; caramel, oreo, marshmallow, sprinkles, M&M’s; pancake; caramel buttercream frosting granished with Trix cereal.













The Pizza Party

A DiGiorno pizza on top of a Jack’s pizza topped with Totino’s pizza rolls.














The Pattie LaBurger

A triple bacon cheeseburger with deep fried patties as buns.















Lardz

Deep fried lard balls topped with sugar.













The Cornhole

Corn on the cob wrapped in hickory bacon with two hot dogs and two Colby-Jack cheese sticks wrapped in ground beef.















Breakfast Cake

Two layers of egg, sausage, bacon, cheese quiche with country gravy in between, topped with gravy icing garnished with bacon bits.











Two Pound McDonald’s Cheeseburger