Sunday, December 16, 2012

Preparing For The Mayan 'Doomsday Prophecy'

With the Mayan Long Count calendar concluding a 5,125-year cycle, many doomsayers are predicting a cataclysmic event will occur next Friday, Dec. 21. Here’s how people are preparing for what they view as an impending global catastrophe:

Hastily trying to get in the good graces of snake-bird god Q’uq’umatz

Lining up to see Here Comes The Boom before it’s too late

Frantically downloading latest software updates

Throwing aluminum cans in with regular garbage

Finally telling children which one is favorite

Getting special “doomsday” haircuts

Shooting a cop to see what it feels like

Allowing the extended warranty on Toyota Sienna to expire

Attempting to convince girlfriend this her last chance to try anal

No comments: