Teen heart-throb Justin Beiber incensed parents at the O2 yesterday, when he started singing before many of them could leave.
Beiber, who’s hits sound exactly as you’d imagine, delighted adults for the first two hours of his gig by staying off the stage.
Graham Holdcroft was there with a charity for aurally challenged children.
“Sadly, these youngsters have all caught ‘Shit Ears’ from watching X Factor”, he explained. “We’d brought them along to try and shock them out of it.”
“To our astonishment, as we waited some of them responded positively to the early 70s disco being played. Then the cocky twat stuck his head round the curtain, and they suffered an immediate relapse.”
Not everyone was disappointed though. David Chalmers spoke of his relief when Beiber finally launched into his wall of sonic misery.
“I’d taken my two teenage daughters to see him, as a punishment for being caught smoking outside school”, he explained.
“Somehow standing in a cold arena listening to Michael Jackson songs for two hours didn’t seem cruel enough, But at 10.25pm, the little prick finally showed up.”