"Excuse me, doctor - my husband was rushed in with violent spasms in his buttocks ................... Where can I see him ?"
"ICU baby, shaking that ass".
I'll get me dressing gown !
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
TODAY'S JOKE
"Excuse me, doctor - my husband was rushed in with violent spasms in his buttocks ................... Where can I see him ?"
"ICU baby, shaking that ass".
I'll get me dressing gown !
Monday, December 30, 2013
Monday, December 23, 2013
Friday, December 20, 2013
Actor Morgan Freeman mistaken for Nelson Mandela on Indian billboard
The owner of a billboard dedicated to Nelson Mandela in southern India has been left red-faced after a photo of actor Morgan Freeman had been used instead of the iconic South African freedom fighter.
The sign had been erected on a roadside in the southern city of Coimbatore as part of memorials across India and the world to Mandela, who died on December 5. But Freeman's face loomed large above over smaller images of Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa and Mahatma Gandhi. Morgan Freeman played Mandela in the 2009 film Invictus.
"We should be proud that we were part of an era when they lived," the Tamil-language condolence message read. Cloth merchant Chandrashekhar, who paid for the board in a private capacity as a mark of respect to the former South African leader, said it was a mistake by the designer. "We will replace it with the correct picture of Mandela," he said, adding he did not know how the gaffe happened.
The sign had been erected on a roadside in the southern city of Coimbatore as part of memorials across India and the world to Mandela, who died on December 5. But Freeman's face loomed large above over smaller images of Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa and Mahatma Gandhi. Morgan Freeman played Mandela in the 2009 film Invictus.
"We should be proud that we were part of an era when they lived," the Tamil-language condolence message read. Cloth merchant Chandrashekhar, who paid for the board in a private capacity as a mark of respect to the former South African leader, said it was a mistake by the designer. "We will replace it with the correct picture of Mandela," he said, adding he did not know how the gaffe happened.
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Monday, December 16, 2013
3 IN ONE WEEK
Zola resigns: Emotional Gianfranco Zola writes resignation letter to Watford fans.
The Italian, a Chelsea legend and former West Ham manager, led Watford to the Championship play-off final last season but leaves the Hornets in 13th place in the table having lost at home to struggling Sheffield Wednesday on Saturday – a fifth straight league defeat at Vicarage Road.
Steve Clarke sacked by West Brom.
Steve Clarke has been sacked by West Bromwich Albion following a fourth straight Premier League loss. The Baggies lost out to a rare headed goal by midfielder Peter Whittingham which gave Cardiff a vital win and left the Baggies just two points above the relegation zone. Former player and coach at Chelsea, Clarke won cups in both roles.
Andre Villas-Boas: Tottenham sack manager.
Tottenham have sacked manager Andre Villas-Boas in the wake of Sunday's 5-0 Premier League thrashing by Liverpool. Former Chelsea boss Villas-Boas, 36, took over at Tottenham in July 2012.
The Italian, a Chelsea legend and former West Ham manager, led Watford to the Championship play-off final last season but leaves the Hornets in 13th place in the table having lost at home to struggling Sheffield Wednesday on Saturday – a fifth straight league defeat at Vicarage Road.
Steve Clarke sacked by West Brom.
Steve Clarke has been sacked by West Bromwich Albion following a fourth straight Premier League loss. The Baggies lost out to a rare headed goal by midfielder Peter Whittingham which gave Cardiff a vital win and left the Baggies just two points above the relegation zone. Former player and coach at Chelsea, Clarke won cups in both roles.
Andre Villas-Boas: Tottenham sack manager.
Tottenham have sacked manager Andre Villas-Boas in the wake of Sunday's 5-0 Premier League thrashing by Liverpool. Former Chelsea boss Villas-Boas, 36, took over at Tottenham in July 2012.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Peter O’Toole dies aged 81
The actor Peter O’Toole, who shot to fame in the Oscar-winning epic Lawrence of Arabia, has died aged 81, his agent Steve Kenis said today.
The acclaimed leading man who overcame stomach cancer in the 1970s passed away yesterday at the Wellington hospital in London following a long illness.
O’Toole announced last year he was stopping acting saying: “I bid the profession a dry-eyed and profoundly grateful farewell.”
Born in 1932, he was the son of Constance Jane Eliot, a Scottish nurse, and Patrick Joseph O’Toole, an Irish metal plater, football player, and racecourse bookmaker.
He shot to stardom in the 1962 film of TE Lawrence’s life story and went on to star in Goodbye Mr Chips, The Ruling Class, The Stunt Man and My Favourite Year. He received an honorary Oscar in 2003 after receiving eight nominations and no wins - an unassailed record.
The acclaimed leading man who overcame stomach cancer in the 1970s passed away yesterday at the Wellington hospital in London following a long illness.
O’Toole announced last year he was stopping acting saying: “I bid the profession a dry-eyed and profoundly grateful farewell.”
Born in 1932, he was the son of Constance Jane Eliot, a Scottish nurse, and Patrick Joseph O’Toole, an Irish metal plater, football player, and racecourse bookmaker.
He shot to stardom in the 1962 film of TE Lawrence’s life story and went on to star in Goodbye Mr Chips, The Ruling Class, The Stunt Man and My Favourite Year. He received an honorary Oscar in 2003 after receiving eight nominations and no wins - an unassailed record.
Saturday, December 14, 2013
IT'S JUST A GAME
Arsenal fan loses house in wager against Manchester United fan who staked his car and wife.
While most Arsenal supporters lost some pride when Manchester United beat the Gunners on Sunday, one fan lost much much more. A man in the Iganga District of Eastern Uganda reportedly lost his house in a bet over the outcome of the match.
It's claimed that before the game Henry Dhabasani staked his two-room home in a bet with Rashid Yiga that Arsenal would win the game at Old Trafford. Yiga accepted the bet, and put quite a bit on the line himself. Along with his Toyota Premio, he also staked his wife.
The pair put their bet in writing, which was witnessed by local leaders and fans.
Dhabasani, who is married to three wives and has five children, reportedly fainted upon the final whistle with the score ending 1-0 to Manchester United.
On Monday, Manchester United fans "stormed" Dhabasani’s home and threw him and his family out, according to the Observer in Uganda.
While most Arsenal supporters lost some pride when Manchester United beat the Gunners on Sunday, one fan lost much much more. A man in the Iganga District of Eastern Uganda reportedly lost his house in a bet over the outcome of the match.
It's claimed that before the game Henry Dhabasani staked his two-room home in a bet with Rashid Yiga that Arsenal would win the game at Old Trafford. Yiga accepted the bet, and put quite a bit on the line himself. Along with his Toyota Premio, he also staked his wife.
The pair put their bet in writing, which was witnessed by local leaders and fans.
Dhabasani, who is married to three wives and has five children, reportedly fainted upon the final whistle with the score ending 1-0 to Manchester United.
On Monday, Manchester United fans "stormed" Dhabasani’s home and threw him and his family out, according to the Observer in Uganda.
Friday, December 13, 2013
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Oooooops
Pellegrini miscalculates City winning-goal margin
Manchester City manager Manuel Pellegrini inexplicably appeared to miscalculate the mathematical conundrum that would have given his side top spot in their Champions League group, after his side came from 2-0 behind to pull off a heroic victory against Bayern Munich.
Pellegrini's decision to replace striker Edin Dzeko with midfielder Jack Rodwell in the closing stages of the game appeared to be a ploy to cling onto the 3-2 lead his side had established, as he opted not to go for the additional goal that would have given City the valuable top spot.
With Pellegrini admitting "he would have been tempted" to put star striker Sergio Aguero on for the closing stages if his side had scored a fourth goal at the Allianz Arena, it was evident that he believed a three-goal winning margin was required to seal top spot and yet just one more goal would have been enough. "I was tempted if we scored the fourth goal [to make an attacking substitution] and that is why I sent Aguero to warm up," Pellegrini admitted to Sky Sports, seemingly unaware that a 4-2 win would have been enough to seal a prized seeding in the last 16 of the Champions League.
Manchester City manager Manuel Pellegrini inexplicably appeared to miscalculate the mathematical conundrum that would have given his side top spot in their Champions League group, after his side came from 2-0 behind to pull off a heroic victory against Bayern Munich.
Pellegrini's decision to replace striker Edin Dzeko with midfielder Jack Rodwell in the closing stages of the game appeared to be a ploy to cling onto the 3-2 lead his side had established, as he opted not to go for the additional goal that would have given City the valuable top spot.
With Pellegrini admitting "he would have been tempted" to put star striker Sergio Aguero on for the closing stages if his side had scored a fourth goal at the Allianz Arena, it was evident that he believed a three-goal winning margin was required to seal top spot and yet just one more goal would have been enough. "I was tempted if we scored the fourth goal [to make an attacking substitution] and that is why I sent Aguero to warm up," Pellegrini admitted to Sky Sports, seemingly unaware that a 4-2 win would have been enough to seal a prized seeding in the last 16 of the Champions League.
Monday, December 9, 2013
TODAY'S TOP TIP
If your partner ever comes to you and says ...... 'If I was to arrange a threesome for you as a birthday treat .... which of my friends would you pick to join in ?
DO NOT PICK TWO NAMES
DO NOT PICK TWO NAMES
Monday, December 2, 2013
Tom Daley Reveals He Is In A Gay Relationship
Olympic diver Tom Daley has revealed he is in a gay relationship.
The 19-year-old revealed he has been dating a man since the spring in a video posted on YouTube on Monday morning, although he insists he "still fancies girls".
Daley won the bronze medal in the men's 10 metre platform competition at the London 2012 Olympics, just over one year after the death of his father Robert from cancer.
"Most of you are probably wondering why I am doing this video," Daley said. "My life's been a bit of a rollercoaster, to say the least, over the last couple of years. Losing my dad to cancer in 2011 was one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with in my life. Winning an Olympic medal last year in 2012 in front of a home crowd finishing my A-levels this year, it's been hectic."
Manchester United winger, Ashley Young has come out in support of Daley saying ..... "I admit it .... I am also a diver."
The 19-year-old revealed he has been dating a man since the spring in a video posted on YouTube on Monday morning, although he insists he "still fancies girls".
Daley won the bronze medal in the men's 10 metre platform competition at the London 2012 Olympics, just over one year after the death of his father Robert from cancer.
"Most of you are probably wondering why I am doing this video," Daley said. "My life's been a bit of a rollercoaster, to say the least, over the last couple of years. Losing my dad to cancer in 2011 was one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with in my life. Winning an Olympic medal last year in 2012 in front of a home crowd finishing my A-levels this year, it's been hectic."
Manchester United winger, Ashley Young has come out in support of Daley saying ..... "I admit it .... I am also a diver."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)