Who’s busiest ?

Mexicans work longer days than anyone else in OECD countries, devoting 10 hours to paid and unpaid work, such as cleaning or cooking at home. Belgians work the least, at 7 hours, compared with an OECD average of 8 hours a day.

These are among the insights in the latest edition of Society at a Glance, which gives an overview of social trends and policy developments in OECD countries. Using indicators taken from OECD databases and other sources, it shows how societies are changing over time and compared with other countries.

A special chapter in the report looks at unpaid work, such as cooking, cleaning, caring, and shopping, in 26 OECD countries, as well as China, India and South Africa.

Spain's Equivalent of April Fools' Day is Dec. 28

So ....... if you read stories that link Fernando Torres to Barcelona .... you've been had.

From http://www.mundodeportivo.com/20111228/fc-barcelona/fernando-torres-barca-chelsea-montoya-roberto-cuenca_54243406823.html

The Barça and Chelsea have closed will be, undoubtedly, the highlight of the market operation in winter. Fernando Torres , who still does not perform to their highest level in Stamford Bridge, will land in the next few hours at the Camp Nou, while three of the most promising homegrown Catalan club, Martin Montoya , Sergi Roberto and Isaac Basin , follow the steps of Oriol Romeu and travel to London next Saturday, 31.

The original idea was technically 'blue', André Villas-Boas , after learning that David Villa will be low at the club for four to five months. The Portuguese, who want to rejuvenate Chelsea and last summer and wanted to take Roberto Montoya and spoke with executives and asked them to London offered Fernando Torres in exchange for both homegrown and Pedro .

Saw Chelsea welcome the proposal to his coach and athletic director last week, Michael Emenalo , met secretly with Guardiola in Brescia. Pep, who has always publicly praised the 'Child', do not hesitate to accept the idea, but refused to lose to Peter and included instead in the operation to Cuenca.

Fernando Torres , who returned to be booed by the fans at Stamford Bridge during the match against Fulham on Monday, will bid farewell to Chelsea having scored only five goals in a year. In recent days, speculation about his possible return to Atletico, but eventually put on Barca until June 30, 2021. The setting of the player says he is very happy.

For his part, Montoya, Roberto Cuenca and cost them more accepting of change. It was Oriol Romeu who got personally telephoning each. The only condition imposed by the three youth players is to play the Catalunya on 30-Tunisia, for which they have been called by Johan Cruyff . After the game, will travel to El Prat airport, will travel to London on a private flight and day 31 and will debut for Chelsea against Aston Villa at Stamford Bridge.

LOL

INFAMY ! INFAMY ! .... THEY'VE ALL GOT IT INFAMY

NEW DAY ........ NEW RANT

Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish fears a Craig Bellamy agenda

Dalglish believes that Bellamy [aka ' The Man with no neck '] did not deserve the bookings against Fulham, QPR, Aston Villa and Wigan Athletic.

The Welshman, who faces his old club Blackburn Rovers at Anfield on Monday, has been in good form for Liverpool and the club would be loathe to lose him to suspension for a fifth caution. “He has been booked four times and he hasn't deserved any of them,’’ said Dalglish.

“You would hate to believe there is an agenda against him from anyone. You would like think if you had been unlucky four times, you would not be unlucky for a fifth. Mind you, you might have said that after the first two. Four on the spin is pretty consistent though!

“One of the bookings was at Fulham when (Clint) Dempsey put his head in Craig's face. When we asked the referee why the wee man was booked he said "Craig knows" - but he didn't know. There was another against QPR when Joey Barton approached him.

“We just need a wee bit of clarity. It's all well and good having rules but the rules should be the same for everyone, not split up for different people.”

HESKEY TIME

DOES SANTA REALLY LIVE AT THE NORTH POLE ?

Let's look at the evidence:

1: Wears red and white.
2: Good at breaking into houses.
3: Has loads of untraceable electrical and other goods.
4: Drives an unlicensed vehicle.
5: Only does one days work a year.
6: Steals any food left lying around.
7: Laughs alot despite not being remotely amusing.

North pole my arse, he's a scouser!

Stan Collymore highlights racist abuse towards Patrice Evra on Twitter

.... and this is what happens


Please note ..... you will be offended if you read the comments left on Stan Collymore's Twitter feed, I am merely posting them to prove to you that this really did happen.

Patrice Evra has been subject to a swath of racist abuse on Twitter in the wake of Luis Suárez receiving an eight-match ban for insulting language that included a reference to Evra's skin colour.

The level and intensity of the abuse has prompted Stan Collymore, the TalkSport presenter and former Liverpool and Nottingham Forest striker, to highlight it on his own Twitter page to emphasise that racism remains a big issue in football.

Collymore subsequently received abuse on the site but tweeted that the support he was receiving far outweighed negative responses, writing: "The lovely comments outstrip the bad 100/1."

A spokeswoman for the Association of Chief Police Officers said: "If it's racist abuse, it falls as a type of hate crime. If anyone is being serially harassed, or even stalked on a social networking site or on Twitter they should report that to their local police and they can investigate.

The Bleak Old Shop Of Stuff Episode 1 Pt 1 of 4

Welcome to the plainly, and elaborately, bonkers world of The Bleak Old Shop of Stuff, the television transfer – after a reconceived fashion – of Bleak Expectations, the hit Radio 4 series that affectionately, and brilliantly, spoofs all things Dickensian.

FAVORITE MOVIE LINES

MARS ATTACKS

Rude Gambler [Danny DeVito] to Tom Jones [Tom Jones] when they meet - " Hey !, you're Tom Jones, right ? .... [sings] It aint unusual to ..... hey Tom, Tom, can I have an autograph ? ... Anybody got a pen ? ".

Ferguson sees red over Rooney charade ?

In a row that is widely believed to have hastened Beckham’s exit from Old Trafford, a boot was allegedly kicked by Ferguson, hit Beckham in the face and left a small cut just above the eye.

Copy and Paste this link to view the clip -> http://bcove.me/0w38cc1h

An unnerving moment came during the charades round of the Manchester United Big Quiz filmed for MUTV as Rooney, Ryan Giggs and Jonny Evans went head-to-head with a coaching staff team captained by Ferguson.

Asked to act out the title of the film Bend It Like Beckham, Rooney initially struggled to give any clues. But when pushed by host Clare Balding, the England international, mimed the flicking of long hair out of his eyes, pointed at Ferguson and pretended to kick something before slapping his hand against his eye to mimic the moment Ferguson’s temper exploded at the former United midfielder.

The clip quickly turned into an internet sensation with viewers trying to work out whether Ferguson was merely pretending not to see the funny side, or whether Rooney really had angered him with his cheek.

The latter appeared to gain more credence when the clip was removed by the video sharing site YouTube on the instruction of Manchester United, although the club insisted this was due to copyright infringements.

ONLY ONE MORE YEAR TO WAIT

Frozen Planet 'gave whisky to penguins'

EMPEROR penguins in the hit wildlife series Frozen Planet are given shots of whisky so they act-up for the cameras, it has been claimed.

An insider at BBC Carrigaline said their suspicions were first aroused when, alongside the usual specialist camera equipment, the group's baggage also included 60 bottles of Tesco own-brand Scotch.

The whistleblower said: "The thing that you have to remember about most wildlife is that it's piss-boring. Penguins especially.

"They normally just stand there and make a weird noise most of the time. We have to give them a bit of encouragement otherwise all the Baftas would go to ITV.

"So all that endless 'fighting over territory' they do is just bollocks. What usually happens is after nine hours of fuck all, the cameraman gives them two fingers of whisky.

"You'll be surprised how quickly they start 'fighting over territory' at that point.

"And that thing they do when they 'regurgitate food for their young' is not really regurgitation. It's actually caused by the fact that penguins are not supposed to drink whisky."

The source added: "I've got a friend at the Discovery Channel who says the dancing ones are all messed up on Mephedrone."

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

LOOK WHO'S BACK DARLING

Can you really believe that it is 20 years since Eddy, Patsy and Bubble first burst on to our television screens in Absolutely Fabulous ?



After five successful series, Jennifer Saunders said she was burying the self-obsessed monster she created, and script editor Ruby Wax told me in an interview last year: ‘Ab Fab can never come back. It was of its time, it captured the zeitgeist of the Nineties, but I’m not sure I even know what the zeitgeist is now.’

EDDY AND PATSY ARE BACK SWEETIE DARLING

Well, the good news is, Sweeties, that the programme has returned for two much-anticipated Christmas specials.

KIM JONG IL DIES AT 69

State media reports the North Korean leader died of a heart attack on Saturday, plunging the reclusive state into uncertainty.

North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il has died aged 69 of a heart attack, state media announced Monday, plunging the impoverished but nuclear-armed nation into uncertainty amid a second dynastic succession.

The official Korean Central News Agency (KCNA) said the leader "passed away from a great mental and physical strain" at 8:30 am on Saturday (2330 GMT Friday), while on a train for one of his "field guidance" tours.

CHOCOLATE CHEESY PEAS ?

BBC postpone QI episode over Clarkson controversy

The schedule change follows in the wake of a comment made by the Top Gear presenter on early evening magazine programme The One Show nine days ago. Clarkson caused outrage when he suggested on the BBC One programme that he would like to see striking public sector workers shot.


Although the comment was said in jest - in the context of the BBC having to reflect both sides of any political argument - more than 30,000 people have taken his words at face value and complained to TV watchdog Ofcom.



It is understood the episode has been postponed to avoid putting Clarkson in the spotlight until the furore over his comments has further subsided. A source told MediaGuardian: "It's not to do with anything specific that Clarkson said on QI. It is more a case of the BBC not wanting to look as though it didn't care about the storm and putting Clarkson back on screen as if nothing had happened."

The episode - the fourteenth of the new ninth series - was recorded in the summer. It sees guests Jeremy Clarkson, Ross Noble and Dara O'Briain joining regulars Stephen Fry and Alan Davies to discuss topics based around the subject of 'idleness'.

The episode will now be put on the shelf, and is expected to be rescheduled at some point next year. In its place BBC Two will broadcast a repeat of the first episode from the current series. First shown in September, the programme features guests Jimmy Carr, Lee Mack and Sandi Toksvig discussing topics including the Mona Lisa painting and the life-span of a lobster.

Jeremy Clarkson has been a panellist on eight previous episodes of QI. The comic quiz, which has been running since 2003, has notched up over 100 episodes to date, and this is the first time a new episode of the show has been postponed by the BBC.

A BBC spokesperson says: "It is not unusual for the running order of a programme to change. The billed episode will be shown at a later date."

In 2008, following the 'Sachsgate scandal', an episode of Never Mind The Buzzcocks was shelved as it featured Russell Brand as a guest team captain. The episode was eventually broadcast in January 2011.

BLOODY HELL !!

Newcastle? Check. Valencia? Check. Man City? Check. Wigan? Cech.

TWO STEPS FORWARD ............ ONE STEP BACK

AND WE FANS THOUGHT THIS WAS THE LOW POINT OF THE SEASON ->

Champions League lifeline for United

Manchester United could still be involved in the last 16 of the Champions League after Fifa today threatened to suspend Switzerland over the case involving first division club Sion.

The Swiss FA was given a deadline of January 13th to follow Fifa’s instructions or face a ban which would also result in FC Basel being expelled from the Champions League and a possible reinstatement of last year’s beaten finalists.

The Swiss champions dumped United out of the Champions League and into the Europa Cup, earning a 3-3 draw at Old Trafford before winning the home leg 2-1.

“Should this deadline not be respected, the Swiss FA will be automatically suspended from 14 January 2012 onwards,” the statement said.

If suspended, Switzerland - due to host Argentina in a friendly in February - would not be able to play any international matches and FC Basel would be unable to take part in the Champions League round of 16 tie against Bayern Munich.

Euro 2012 would not be affected, however, as Switzerland did not qualify for the finals.

The warning follows a complex legal battle in which Sion defied Fifa and Uefa statutes by taking its case over a transfer ban to a civil court.

The case began when Sion signed six players in the summer while still subject to the transfer ban for poaching a player from an Egyptian club in 2008.

The six players took their case to a civil court in the canton of Valais, which ruled they could play. Sion subsequently fielded them in the Swiss league.

Some of the players appeared in a Europa League qualifying tie against Celtic. Sion won the tie but were then expelled from the competition by Uefa who ruled the players were ineligible.

Sion then obtained an injunction at another court in the canton of Vaud, where Uefa’s headquarters are based, ordering European soccer's governing body to reinstate them to the competition.

However, this injunction referred the matter to the Court of Arbitration for Sport (Cas) which on Thursday ruled in favour of Uefa.

In the meantime, the injunction obtained by the players in Valais canton was also overturned by a higher court.

Fifa now wants the Swiss League to award 3-0 defeats against Sion in every domestic match in which any of the six players were fielded.

“The executive committee decided to give a final deadline of January 13 to the Swiss FA to enforce the registration ban imposed on Sion....and to sanction the attitude of the club repeatedly trying to circumvent this decision in a legally abusive manner," said Fifa.

“As a consequence, all matches in which the relevant players participated shall be declared forfeit or three points shall be deducted respectively.”

XMAS NO 1 ?

SPUDS NOT IN THE POT

This morning the draw for the last 16 of the UEFA Champions League and the rounds of 32 and 16 in the Europa League will be drawn in Nyon, and Tottenham Hotspurs will not be included.

In the end, despite hammering Shamrock Rovers and despite the pre-game expectation of elimination, it wasn't the most sedate of nights for Harry Redknapp in Dublin.

For a start, there was the fact PAOK Salonika's early lead over Rubin Kazan in the group's other game threatened to demand a late rally from Spurs in order to go through on goals scored. To finish, after Kazan equalised in Greece to put Spurs out, there was the constant goading by the home supporters about Redknapp's forthcoming court case.

To date, 15 teams are already assured of qualification to the last 32 of the Europa League, with nine further places up for grabs on Wednesday and Thursday as the competition's group phase is completed.

Already qualified: PAOK FC, Standard Liege*, Hannover 96, PSV Eindhoven*, Legia Warsaw, Sporting Lisbon, Stoke City, Athletic Club*, FC Metalist Kharkiv*, SC Braga, Atletico Madrid, FC Schalke*, FC Twente*, Anderlecht, Lokomotiv Moscow

*Group winners

Teams transferring from the UEFA Champions League: Holders Porto, Manchester City, Trabzonspor, Manchester United, Ajax, Valencia, Olympiakos and Viktoria Plzen.

LIKE YOU'VE NEVER WONDERED

The Penis Size Worldwide map

Check it out here -> http://www.targetmap.com/viewer.aspx?reportId=3073

IS THIS HOW JACKIE CHAN STARTED OUT ?

If you don't like raw, intense violence .... then look away now

FOOTIE QUOTES OF THE YEAR -2011

"Whenever I watch him play, to me David Luiz looks like he's being controlled by a 10-year-old in the crowd on a PlayStation." Sky Sports pundit Gary Neville offends all 10-year-olds with access to FIFA 12.

"I saw, from 10 metres, a table full of drugs." An ordinary day in the life Mario Balotelli, as he pops back to Italy to meet a Mafioso boss.

"Very good win gays!" Arsenal's Andre Santos wins the gong for best Freudian Tweet of the Year.

"My favourite book is Lord of the Rings, although I haven't read the book, I have watched the films. The book must be good because the films are so good." Darren Mackie

"I saved your club in 2005 and 2007 when nobody else would. The rebuilding of Leeds United is a bit like sex. In an age of instant gratification, Leeds United is having a long, drawn-out affair with plenty of foreplay and slow arousal." Ken Bates

"Nice of him. But Benni, I'm meant to have t***, you aren't!" Brady responds to being called 'the devil with t***' by Benni McCarthy.

"I do not honestly know what is really happening in Libya at the moment but it must be very hard for Gaddafi and his family." El-Hadji Diouf

"It borders on abuse, but I can't help where I was born." Steve Bruce. Yup, we'd say 'Fat Geordie b******' probably qualifies as abuse.

"The price we paid for Andy seems to be a problem for some people, but not us. We are looking at it from the point of view that he cost us minus £15m. That's a good argument against people who say he's replaced a £50m striker." Kenny Dalglish

"There is no racism, there is maybe one of the players towards another, he has a word or a gesture which is not the correct one. But also the one who is affected by that, he should say that this is a game. We are in a game, and at the end of the game, we shake hands." Sepp Blatter

"Tevez is one bad apple. He can undo all the good work that has been done at City. He's a disgrace to football. He epitomises what the man in the street thinks is wrong with modern football. It is totally unacceptable." Graeme Souness

"Be careful of the cat. Don't say you have the cat in the sack when you don't have the cat in the sack." Giovanni Trapattoni

"I have to be on top of my game when they start thinking about who is going to replace Fabio. If I am on top of my game with West Ham United I might get considered." Sam Allardyce

"I don't pick them, they're a bit dodgy but we have to wear them." Gabriel Agbonlahor delights his boot sponsor Nike.

"I used to have two Drogba jerseys - one to sleep in and another for when I played in the streets with my friends. I had a poster of Didier on the ceiling above my bed and another of Anelka just to the right. I always wore the same shoes as Didier and I subscribed to Chelsea TV to watch these clips they show of training. We have the same hair." Romelu Lukaku

"When I was aged 12 or 13, boys would meet their football manager dressed in a blazer or at least a pair of trousers. Now some of them turn up to see me wearing a pair of jeans with their a**e hanging out. They just don't care." Harry Redknapp

"I have just been unlucky." Paul Scholes on his 90 yellow and four red cards in the Premier League.

"Chelsea players are always bitching against the referees. I really cannot understand that. Just shut the f*** up and focus on playing football. If you want to witness a lot of complaints, you should just go the bakery or something." Robin van Persie

"The only player I was scared of was Vinnie Jones. I was young and it was just the way he looked at me. I don't know if he was acting. I didn't want to find out." Patrick Vieira

"I watched Hamlet the other night and, what a shame, they nearly all died in the end. I've never heard so many words make so little sense. It was brilliant, a bit like my interviews." Ian Holloway

"If you ask me, I'll take penalties. We've been practising." Harry Redknapp in fine deadpan form ahead of Tottenham's return game with Real Madrid, trailing 4-0 from the first leg.

"If some stupid fans don't understand and appreciate such a gift they can go to hell. I don't want them to be fans. If they don't understand and don't believe in things I believe in they can go to Chelsea. They can go anywhere else." Mohamed Al Fayed flies off the wall and tells Fulham fans who don't appreciate his Michael Jackson statue to beat it.

"He's done really well to get where he is so I think Andy is focused on his football. I've been with him at Boyzone concerts and he's still never bought me a drink!" Kenny Dalglish

"I don't like to hear any manager getting hostility. But I'd prefer it to be him than me so, no, to be honest I don't give a flying flute. I can empathise with him, I've been there, but 'sympathy' is not the word. Look it up in the dictionary, it's between sh*t and syphilis." Gerard Houllier won't be crying on Mick McCarthy's shoulder anytime soon.

"Birmingham is a c**p city and I wasn't going to make the effort, especially as I wasn't playing. I don't give a damn for Ireland. Live in Cork? I'd rather shoot myself. I prefer Los Angeles." Stephen Ireland

"I did try and cheat like Tony Cascarino did by going over and having 14 pints of Guinness. Didn't work though." Kevin Nolan admits he looked into the idea of playing for Republic of Ireland.

"I don't enjoy firing people - it's not my style." Milan Mandaric reflects on getting through his 14th manager in 12 years.

"I got some sweets and the next thing I felt someone pull my overcoat. There are two guys on their knees in front of me and they've got my trousers and they keep pulling them. I'm pushing them away but while I'm doing that they're rifling my pockets." Harry Redknapp has his wallet nicked in Madrid.

"There is no chance I would ever consider having all my hair cut off. My hair is my life. It's so important to me. If you cut off my hair, it is like cutting out my heart or cutting off my legs. I would cry for days and days." Anderson

"They should rename it Tw*tter - and anybody on it should be renamed. Too many tweets make a t***." Mick McCarthy's

VERY LOL ....... BUT ALSO NSFW

Careful now ............

Dalglish to defend Suarez at racism hearing

Kenny Dalglish will lead Liverpool’s defence of Luis Suarez on Thursday as the striker faces an FA racism charge.

King Kenny will give the Uruguayan a character reference – and also call on a language expert to show that the player’s comments towards Patrice Evra during the Premier League clash with Manchester United in October were not racially motivated and also to translate what the scousers say to a jury comprised of normal English speakers.

The first legal arguments were heard on Wednesday and are being translated as I write, but the main body of evidence will be aired when Evra attends on Thursday morning.

THIS LOT WILL KEEP THE LANGUAGE EXPERT ON HIS TOES 

Evra complained to referee Andre Marriner – and a French TV station – that he had been subjected to the racial insult “more than 10 times” during the second half of the 1-1 draw, and the FA initiated a probe.

Suarez - who is also facing punishment after being accused of making a one-finger gesture at Fulham fans last week - insists that the phrase, commonly used throughout Spanish-speaking Latin America, is not racist in his understanding.

Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish added 'we have a player at the club who is of the darker persuasion, a Mr Glen Johnson ... and he and Luis have hardly ever fallen out. Luis has even called Glen on the phone many times and asked if he would drive him around Liverpool while Luis does some shopping, I hardly think that this is the action of someone who is racist !'.

Both players are due to travel to the disciplinary hearing at a hotel midway between Manchester and Liverpool, to give evidence to the inquiry arising from their Anfield clash on October 15.

X Factor Voiceover Man Strikes Back !!!!

SOON TO BE BANNED ..........

IT'S ALMOST XMAS ... SO ONCE AGAIN, IT'S TIME FOR THIS

..... A BIT OF MANSLAUGHTER

NOT LONG NOW FOLKS

Season 3 begins Jan 17th 2012

LOVE THE COMMENTATORS ....... HATE THE SHOW

Just goes to show that there are complete idiots everywhere.



It's not just in Jersey.

NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY

If he did that to Sergio Busquets ..... Busquets would still be rolling around

THE 'OIL FIRM DERBY'

Billed by a number of footballing ‘wits’ as El Cashico and the Oil Firm Derby, this clash of the billionaires’ playthings was always going to be a dramatic affair.

Super/Mad Mario opened the scoring with less than two minutes on the clock, after clever work from Sergio Aguero, but despite being over-run by the visitors for the first half-hour, Chelsea managed to get back into the game on 34 minutes, courtesy of a Raul Meireles strike from a Daniel Sturridge cut-back.

Former City-boy Sturridge was giving left-back Gael Clichy a torrid time, with the Arsenal man resorting to hauling down the fleet-footed striker early in the second-half. The former Arsenal man was booked for that challenge and just before the hour-mark, the Frenchman saw red for another silly challenge, this time on Ramires.

On came Frankie Lamps for the finale and what do you know, after Joleon Lescott handled in the box, the midfielder found the strength in his aged, wizened old legs to blast home the winner from the penalty spot.

TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR FANS ..................

Olympic Games gold medal winning British cyclist Sir Christopher Andrew "Chris" Hoy, MBE has had to 'tweet' Spurs fans that he is NOT in fact Premiership referee Chris Foy, "Still getting some rather amusing grief from Spurs fans ! On the plus side I've learned some new 4 letter words today. #FoyNotHoy"

'LUCK'

With the likes of Dustin Hoffman, Dennis Farina and Nick Nolte leading the line plus Michael Gambon, Jurgen Prochnow, Joan Allen and Ted Levine to come ...... it's a no-brainer to say that this series is going to set television screens alight ....... I've only seen episode 1 .... but I have to say that this is going to be 'must watch' TV.

JAN 27th - SPARTACUS : VENGEANCE

"I have never complained about a referee in 30 years"

May I refer you to exhibit 1


http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/teams/p/portsmouth/7688059.stm

'ARRY [I ALWAYS PAY MY TAXES] REDKNAPP

Or perhaps exhibit 2


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/tottenham-hotspur/8105599/Harry-Redknapp-will-not-be-fined-by-the-FA-for-criticising-referee-Mark-Clattenburg.html

Or how about exhibit 3


http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/teams/t/tottenham_hotspur/9174101.stm

This is what 'arry had to say after todays game ......

'We've come away with nothing because there was a blatant handball on the line and Adebayor is two yards onside when the ball is played to him,'

'That's why we've come away with nothing, two decisions have been completely and utterly wrong. I spoke to the referee after the game. I never go and speak to referees after the game, I accept defeat and have never complained about refereeing decisions in 30 years of managing. Never.

'But today he got some badly wrong. When he goes home tonight and sees them he'll know he's made a couple of terrible decisions. The linesman, he'll watch it tonight, when his wife's making him a bacon sandwich and he'll think: 'F*** me what have I done there today?'

'I thought Younes' second yellow was harsh and the first one he got was for telling the referee it was handball, for something he has missed,'

'What's he supposed to do, not say anything when someone gets something wrong? Do you just accept it? I don't think so.'

HERE'S A FULL LIST 'ARRY

On Howard Webb's decision to turn down penalty appeal against Sunderland in Nov 2010

"I've never been one for criticising referees - it's never been my game - but it was a blatant penalty. If you get the penalty, it could make a big difference."

On Mark Clattenburg's call to allow Nani's controversial goal in 2-0 defeat to stand in Oct 2010

"The whole thing was a farce. It was handball. Nani put his hand on it and dragged it down. Mark Clattenburg is a top referee but he has had a nightmare with that."

On Howard Webb again, for giving Manchester United a controversial penalty at Old Trafford in April 2009

"He’s got a hand on the ball – it was a terrible decision. It was a gift that United didn’t deserve and it put them back in the game. Without that bit of help from the ref, I don’t think United would have come back."

Poor Howard Webb feels Redknapp's fury again for failing to give a penalty for a foul on Robbie Keane against Chelsea in Sept 2009

"It’s a nailed-on penalty. If he felt Robbie dived, why didn’t he give him a yellow or a red card? The penalty decision and Ledley King going off injured, they were the turning points."

On Andy D’Urso’s performance at Wolves in Feb 2008

"I just question the referee’s overall performance which I thought was inept. Every game I see this season has seven or eight bookings. I think it’s frightening."

On Steve Tanner’s display in a 2-0 defeat at West Brom in Dec 2008

"I never walk in after games and complain about a referee but this guy is scary. He’s a poor referee and I’ve seen him make a mess of so many games. He’s really not good enough."


Do us a favour 'arry ..... stop telling porkies everytime you open your mouth.

Mario Balotelli’s younger brother is on trial this month ......

......... at Stoke City.

SUPER MARIO'S BROTHER

Enoch Barwuah, Mario Balotelli's 19-year-old brother, has been staying with him for a while now. In fact, it was Enoch's friends that Mario blames for shooting fireworks out his bathroom window and starting a fire in his house. As it turns out, it Enoch has been on trial at Stoke for the last three weeks and made an appearance in their reserve match against Burton Albion on Wednesday night.

THE MANCHESTER POEM

A version of Ernest Lawrence Thayer’s great baseball poem “Casey At The Bat”

The outlook wasn’t too bad for the Man U side that day:
The table read nine points, with but one more game to play.
A win could have them top, a draw would see them through,
Then Basel ruined ev’rything, and proceeded to score two.

Man City needed favors, a leaky sub ‘gainst Napoli.
All that money’d be for naught this year if the Italians grabbed three.
A goal from Marco Ruben, a Nilmar strike would do,
That would give a chance to the expensive lads in blue.

Down there in the Alps did a red knight rant and rave
If only they could finish, their season could they save.
Wayne Rooney on the field, a hero he could be
Or dependable old Giggs, now pushing eighty-three.

But Streller scored one early, sparking joy from Swiss men all,
And Frei, the wayward son, put diving noggin to the ball.
And with the minutes ticking, the giants soon did panic,
Their ship was listing badly, and the nameplate read TITANIC.

City were home cruising, putting Bayern to the sword,
But rumors were a-swirling that struck a jarring chord.
“Inler’s scored a goal,” came a sick, lamenting groan.
And soon “Hamsik’s found a second” from a man with a mobile phone.

There was no ease in City’s manner as they saw out the minutes left to play.
This would be a famous triumph on most any other day.
But Villarreal were the whipping boys, last in all the Group;
Little chance and lesser hope that two goals they could recoup.

All the TV viewers, from Timbuktu to Seoul
Now fixed upon United, desperate for a goal.
Phil Jones then found one! At last, that thin life-line!
Would United come back here, like they had in ninety-nine?

A few short minutes left, enough to prove their mettle.
The world’s most famous club? Surely they were special.
Reds across the world poured hope like from a nozzle,
While fans of other teams whooped and cheered for little Basel.

Across the face of Europe, great towns will host great games
But in the hundred of Salfordshire, there will be more modest aims
There will be no Milan matchup, no great Barca intrigue:
The clubs from Great Manchester are in the Europa League.

THE MANCHESTER SONG

.......... Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

A little bit of Tevez out the door
A little bit of Vidic on the floor
A little bit of Giggsy on the side
A little bit of Rooney shooting wide
A little bit of Mario having a laugh
A little bit of Nani on his arse
A little bit of chico's broken toes,
A little bit of Fergies whiskey nose
A little bit of Evra crying 'race'
A little bit of Giggsys pixie face
A little bit of Vidic seeing red
A little bit of Rooneys baldy head
A little bit of Nani taking a dive
A little bit of Welbeck late to arrive .......... Ladies and Gentleman... Channel number 5

Alex Ferguson's revenge Christmas call to Kenny Dalglish

AND ON A SERIOUS NOTE ....................

There will be one minutes laughter before every Premiership game this weekend in celebration of both Manchester clubs exiting the Champions League this week.

Previewing Spain's El Clasico

2011's seventh Clásico between Real Madrid and Barcelona, the most ever in a single year, this Saturday (4 p.m. ET on ESPN Deportes and ESPN3). In the past seven seasons, the winner of the winter league matchup has proceeded to win La Liga.



• La Liga leader Real Madrid has won 15 consecutive matches in all competitions, equaling a 41-year-old club record. Madrid has not dropped points in over two and a half months, since drawing 0-0 versus Racing Santander on Sept. 21. In league play, Los Blancos have won 88 percent of their possible points and have scored a league-high 49 goals, an average of 3.5 per match. But Madrid has not defeated Barcelona in league play since a 4-1 win May 7, 2008.

• Barcelona enters Saturday's match (at the Bernabeu) having surrendered a league-low seven goals in 15 matches this season; however, all seven goals have come on the road. Since Pep Guardiola took over as Barcelona head coach in 2008, his team has faced Real Madrid 11 times with seven victories, three draws, and only one loss, which was in extra time of the 2011 Copa del Rey final. Over the 11 matches, Barcelona has outscored Real Madrid by 16 goals.

TROUBLE AT THE TOP

NEWS JUST IN .....

Apparently, negotiations between Manchester United and Inter Milan's star midfielder Wesley Sneijder have hit a snag. The Dutch dead ball specialist has reversed his decision to open talks with United regarding a transfer in the January window, it seems that both he and his wife Yolanthe like to stay home and watch Eastenders on a thursday night.

Channel 5 could opt not to show Manchester United's Europa League matches despite the club's games being available to the broadcaster for the first time after their shock Champions League exit.

With Europa League games to be played on a Thursday it is unlikely United or Manchester City would wish to diminish their title challenges by fielding full-strength sides. There is an argument that a United second string including Dimitar Berbatov, Federico Macheda and Fábio da Silva may be less of a draw than City's, with Adam Johnson, James Milner and Samir Nasri.

Manchester United and City face fixtures in obscure, post-industrial, recession-ravaged countries on the edge of Europe. Manchester United season-ticket holders will not be forced to buy tickets for the Europa League campaign when United play at home.

STRAWBERRY FIELD FOREVER - (9 October 1940 – 8 December 1980)

TODAYS JOKE

What bounces and makes kids cry?

My donation cheque to Children in Need.


I'll get me red nose ! 

CITY'S JINX

Remember this guy ? .... He's Kirk Bradley .... well, in 2009 Kirk got himself a tattoo, he was soooooo sure that Manchester City would be the champions of Europe in 2011 that he had it permanently stamped on his body

Unfortunately, Tottenham pipped City to the 4th spot and City didn't even qualify for the Champions League in the 2010/11 season. No doubt Kirk thought that this season would be different and probably thought about changing the '1' to a '2' ...... but that's not going to happen either.

Manchester City did not get through 'The group of death' and as such, they will be unseeded again for next seasons CL draw ... should they qualify. The Abu Dhabi group must be hoping that their £800m can buy them more than last years FA Cup at this point ... City are still involved in 3 competitions, The Premiership, The FA Cup and The Europa League ....... I wonder which one Kirk is going to go for this winter.

JUST IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS

LOL

BASEL BRUSH UNITED ASIDE

Manchester United will be playing in the Europa League in 2012 after their 2-1 defeat to FC Basel sent them crashing out of the Champions League at the group stage.

Marco Streller and Fabian Frei will go down in the history books as the men responsible for toppling the European heavyweights, with the two Basel players each getting on the score sheet to render Phil Jones' late strike inconsequential.

Ferguson goes cuckoo as Basel knock holes in United's defense

United run out of thyme against Basel

JUST OUT

IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN

DAMN YOU AUTOCORRECT !

Click here for more -> http://damnyouautocorrect.com/13608/top-50-funniest-autocorrects-of-dyacs-first-year-part-1/

" IT'S AN OUTRAGE ! "

FULHAM fans took one of their turns last night.

Nathan Murray [Gent]

Liverpool player Luis Suarez made a ghastly gesture towards the supporters of the west London club causing many of them to touch their forehead with back of their hand and collapse into the arms of a gallant friend.

Nathan Murray, a Craven Cottagist, said: "I have never seen anything so beastly in all my days. What a thoroughly horrid individual.

"As he left the playing surface I gently called out 'go fuck yourself, you dago bastard' and he responded in the most disgusting and ungentlemanly fashion.

"I felt the blood drain from my face and my knees buckled. I truly felt I may expire."

Stephen Lambe, Murray's dashing second cousin and a lieutenant in the Grenadier Guards, added: "Poor, dear, sweet Nathan fainted dead into my arms. It was all I could do to get him to a place of safety and give him some air.

Lt. Stephen Lambe

"You mark my words, if I catch the blighter I'll give him a thrashing he won't forget in a hurry."

Bill McKay, who has a ticket for the season, said: "I shall be writing to the editor of The Times.

"Things have come to a pretty pass when a game of decent English football cannot be dispatched without some grease-ridden parvenu debasing the public morals."

The Footballing Association has launched a commission of inquiry into the gesture and could even recommend that Senor Suarez be ignored when promenading in St James's Park of a Sunday afternoon.

Luis Suárez makes 'offensive gesture' at Fulham fans

Apparently it means something different in Sth America, according to Kenny Dalglish
" Luiz was wishing all the Fulham fans Happy Christmas "

TODAYS JOKE

A wee scouse lad knocks at Kenny Dalglishs door and starts singing ' Away in a manger ', Dalglish opens the door and says  " Pish off lad, I've wasted enough money on carols already this year "

Effin Problem of the Day

A woman from the Irish village of Effin ran into some trouble when she tried to list it as her place of residence on Facebook. Apparently, Facebook thinks it’s a euphemism for a word you might find at the end of a dirty limerick.

“I was born and raised in Effin and my family come from here,” Ann Marie Kennedy told BBC News. “It’s a great little parish. I’d just like to put down (on Facebook), because I’m from Effin, and so would so many Effin people around the world, that they’re from Effin. But Facebook won’t let it because they think it’s obscene or offensive.”

She has since started a Facebook petition to convince the social networking site to recognize her hometown.

Reached for comment, Facebook claimed the word had not been banned, but the village was simply too small to be featured as an option. Approximately 1,000 people live in the parish.

Ms. Kennedy, meanwhile, vows to soldier on. “I’m a proud Effin woman,” she says, “and I always will be an Effin woman.” A-effin-men.

BRILLIAAAAAAAANT !!

Action Comics No. 1 sets record, sells for $2.16 million

A rare and pristine copy of the first issue of Action Comics, famed for the first appearance of Superman, has set a record for the most money paid for a single comic book: $2.16 million.

The starting bid was just $1, but there was a reserve price of $900,000. Neither the name of the buyer nor seller was disclosed, but there is speculation it was owned by actor Nicolas Cage.

It's the first time a comic book has broken the $2 million barrier. The issue was published in 1938 and cost just 10 cents.

"When we broke the record in 2010 by selling the Action Comics No. 1, graded at 8.5, for $1.5 million, I truly believed that this was a record that would stand for many years to come," said Stephen Fishler, CEO of ComicConnect.com and Metropolis Collectibles.

The previous record set in March 2010 was followed by the sale of another copy for $1 million. But neither of those issues was in as good a condition as the issue that sold this past week, though it's pedigree of setting records was already documented. Twice before it set the record for the most expensive book ever, selling for $86,000 in 1992 and $150,000 in 1997.

But in 2000, it was stolen from actor Nicolas Cage and thought lost until it was recovered in a storage shed in California in April.

About 100 copies of Action Comics No. 1 are believed to be in existence, and only a handful of those in good condition.

Eastbound & Down Season 3 air date is February 19th, 2012

Some questions that Eastbound & Down Season Three should resolve:

1). Will Kenny Powers suck his own dream's d*ck, and finally make his major league baseball comeback?

2). Has Kenny Powers really learned from the mistakes of Eduardo Sanchez, and try to help April raise their child?

3). Do Kenny Powers and April Buchanan get back together?

THE NIGHT IS DARK ... AND FULL OF TERRORS

HBO to order two more seasons, and film them back-to-back

Rumours now abound from multiple sources that HBO plans to order both seasons three and four and film them back-to-back (à la Lord of the Rings). It has already been confirmed that A Storm of Swords would be covered in more than one season. From what has been said, much of the film crew in Northern Ireland has been told of this plan and has been advised to expect nine months of filming next year.

Winter Is Coming: I have no doubt that this is an option that HBO is exploring, perhaps even leaning towards, but I don’t think it is a done deal just yet. HBO likely won’t announce anything official until season two begins, so they could change their minds before then.

It does make sense though, to do it this way, as they’ve already said they will be splitting book three into multiple seasons. This way they get the whole of the book filmed in one go, saving on production costs and keeping the kids from aging in between seasons.



MORE NEWS

Edward Dogliani will play the wildling raider Lord of Bones [more commonly mocked as Rattleshirt] in Game of Thrones Season 2.

Rattleshirt is one of the chief wildling raiders at the time of the novels, having taken the name of Lord of Bones from the bone-armor he wears (including a helmet made from a giant’s skull). In the novels, he’s described as shorter and scrawnier than his armor makes him, and has an ill-favored look to him. Suffice it to say, he’ll be an antagonist for a certain popular character as the story goes forward.






British actor Patrick Malahide has been cast as Lord Balon Greyjoy. Balon Greyjoy is a member of House Greyjoy. He is Lord of the Iron Islands and captain of the longship - the Great Kraken. He is the father of Theon Greyjoy, the ward of House Stark.

Stephen Dillane has been cast in the role of Stannis Baratheon. Stannis is the younger brother of the late King Robert and the older brother of the self-declared King Renly. Of everyone in Westeros, Stannis has the best claim to the throne, considering that the newly crowned King Joffrey is actually the bastard son of Robert's wife Cersei and her twin brother Jaime.

Stannis isn't very congenial, and isn't very well-liked. He is counseled by the mysterious and dangerous Lady Melisandre, a priestess of a new and powerful religion who isn't afraid to use her mystical powers to Stannis's gain.

Thomas Wlaschiha has landed the part of Jaqen H'ghar, who we glimpsed briefly in the season one finale. We didn't see his face, of course; he was shrouded under a hood. He was also chained in a cage with two other nasty-looking characters.

H'ghar is part of Arya Stark's season two storyline, and he's one of the reasons that it's one of the most interesting arcs of the season. It's really difficult to say anything more without spoiling some plot details, so I'll just say this: he'll probably be one of the characters you talk about all season long.

Irish actor Liam Cunningham has been cast as Davos Seaworth, Davos is also known by his nickname "The Onion Knight," which he received after he smuggled various foods (including onions) to Stannis Baratheon during the siege of Storm's End. Stannis granted him a knighthood, but also commanded that Davos pay for his crimes by losing digits off each finger of his left hand. Seeing wisdom in Stannis's justice, Davos became one of Stannis's most loyal followers and one of his most trusted advisors, going so far as to wear the bones of his severed digits in a bag around his neck for luck.

By the time season 2 starts, Stannis has declared himself king, and Davos is growing wearing of Lady Melisandre, who is attempting to eradicate the traditional religion of the Seven and replace it with worship of her god, R'hllor, the Lord of Light. It's through Davos's eyes that we'll see the storylines of Stannis and Melisandre.

Dutch actress Carice van Houten has landed the role of Lady Melisandre. She's probably the most-talked-about new character of the second season: Lady Melisandre is as mysterious as she is dangerous. Known as the "Red Priestess," Melisandre worships the 'Lord of Light,' a deity known as R'hllor, through whom she can apparently perform feats of magic. Melisandre serves as an advisor to King Stannis and almost never leaves his side. A proponent of eradicating the old religions of Westeros and replaceing them with her new one, Melisandre believes that R'hllor wants Stannis to gain the Iron Throne, and she'll do anything -- and kill anyone -- to get him there.


That's enough for now .......... more to follow.

Outrage over reaction to Clarkson reaction reactions

BRITAIN was trapped in a 'death spiral' of infinite complaints last night.

The vortex of indignation began just after 7pm when Jeremy Clarkson, the country's highest ranking oaf, presented, without a hint of irony, his detailed plan to shoot public sector workers in front of their families.

Within moments Tony Parsons, the official Left-Wing Clarkson, said people who criticise public sector workers were Nazis while, John Prescott, the former Lord High Oaf, said his successor was guilty of a 'hate crime'.

" .... and anyone who is not me is simply pond scum "

In turn Parsons was accused of outrageous anti-Semitism while Prescott was forced to deny being deputy leader of the Khmer Rouge during the 1970s.

Seconds later the country was straining at the limits of its 140 character allowance in a bid to react to the reaction reactions in a way that was guaranteed to provoke a reaction.

Bill McKay said: "People who compare strike critics to Nazis should be gassed and cremated as part of a huge, secret plan to wipe out Nazi-comparers."

Helen Archer said: "Anyone who thinks Nazi-comparers should be gassed is worse than Jeffrey Dahmer and should be raped in prison three times a day."

Nikki Hollis said: "People who say Nazi-comparers are worse than Jeffrey Dahmer want to rip my mother's heart out, eat it and puke it into a bucket which they...[new tweet] ...will then use to paint the front of my house."

Meanwhile Tom Logan, who suggested that Clarkson's original comment was, perhaps, an advert for a DVD, was accused of being a member of the Ku Klux Klan.

Logan also suggested that instead of reacting to Clarkson reaction reactions we should, perhaps, come up with some stuff we can sell to foreigners before we all end up busking in front of each other.

His house was then burned to the ground.

Last night a spokesman for the United Nations said: "Britain needs to go fuck itself in the face."

Kenny Dalglish wishes Alex Ferguson a Happy Christmas